by Kristen Pham
“That must be terrifying for her.”
“What’s worrying me most is that it seems these unconscious spells of hers are taking a heavier toll on her physically the older she gets, and it’s taking her longer to recover each time. If we don’t diagnose her illness soon, I’m afraid she might have a stroke and die.”
The shock of what she heard reverberated through Valerie’s entire frame, making her tremble. It couldn’t be true. Her life couldn’t be over before she had a chance to do any of the things she promised herself she’d do one day—see the world, go to college, fall in love. She gasped for air. Might die, she told herself, not will die. Dr. Freeman would never let that happen. In the hall, Valerie heard the insistent sound of the doctor’s beeper going off.
“I had better leave you to give Valerie her IV. I’ll come back to check on her as soon as I can,” Dr. Freeman said to the nurse.
She heard the doctor’s footsteps fade down the hall. Her door creaked open, and a stout nurse with round black glasses entered. Valerie just stared at her, unable to put words to everything that was racing through her mind.
“You’re awake! Dr. Freeman will be so glad. Are you okay, sweetie? You’re shaking like a leaf,” the nurse said, putting a hand against Valerie’s forehead.
“I’m… fine,” she replied, forcing her muscles to relax.
“I’m Beth,” the nurse said hesitantly.
“It’s nice to meet you,” Valerie said as calmly as she could manage.
“I know you’re not going to like this, but I have to put a needle in your arm. It will only hurt for a second, and then you’ll feel much better.”
“It’s okay. I’m used to it.”
It was true. She didn’t even flinch when the needle slid into her vein.
“Nice job with that needle. Thanks, Beth,” Valerie said, suddenly wanting her to leave so that she could be alone to think.
“Just rest now. Everything is going to be okay,” Beth said with a tentative smile. She squeezed Valerie’s arm before she left and turned off the lights on her way out.
Valerie looked around her room, and all the colors blurred together. Whatever Beth had put in her IV was already working, making her mind feel sluggish. It was an effort just to blink, and she let herself be carried away by a gentle tide of drowsiness.
It was in her peaceful dreams that Valerie always found the inspiration for the stories that she liked to write in her journal and sometimes read to the little kids at the hospital. Tonight, as Valerie effortlessly used her superior kung fu skills to defeat Adam once and for all and put multiple dents in his precious truck, an old friend battled with her.
Valerie hadn’t fought by Cyrus’s side in a long time, since he had been her best friend—her imaginary best friend, that is—when she was little. Even in her dream, Valerie knew that Cyrus wasn’t real. But his presence didn’t frighten her, like Sanguina and Yellow-Eyes. He had always been someone who had her back, the only hallucination she wished she could keep. It was thrilling to be fighting another imaginary battle with him.
In the middle of combat, Valerie’s and Cyrus’s eyes connected, and Adam disappeared mid-kick. Cyrus walked over to her, holding out his hands. Valerie reached for him, but she couldn’t touch him, even in her own dream. As solid as he looked, he was a figment of her imagination, and her arms went right through him.
“I miss you,” she said. “I wish we could be best friends for real.”
“Val, it’s time to wake up,” Cyrus said.
Valerie awoke suddenly, and all of the sticky cobwebs that the medicine had woven in her mind were gone. Her hospital room looked like it always did. Right now she was the only one in her room, and the other two beds were neatly made, gleaming whitely in the moonlight.
“Um, Valerie?”
Slowly, she looked toward the door. Sure enough, there was Cyrus, almost glowing in the dark room. His gold hair had a slight curl, and his blue eyes, which Valerie had always loved, stood out against his slightly tanned skin. It was so good to see him. But did his reappearance mean that her schizophrenia—and whatever else was wrong with her—was getting worse?
“It’s okay. I can explain.” Cyrus moved toward her slowly, as if he was afraid that if he moved too quickly he might frighten her, and stopped at the edge of her bed.
But fear was the last thing on her mind—she wanted him to be real so badly. Without thinking, she reached for his hand, almost pulling the IV out of her arm. She couldn’t help sighing with disappointment when her fingers connected with nothing but air. She was lightheaded. She shouldn’t have sat up so fast.
“Take it slow, Val,” Cyrus said gently, and she sank down onto her pillows.
“Maybe this is a sign that I’m going to die,” she said, mostly to herself. At least she would be able to pass away staring into a face she loved, even if he was a hallucination.
“No, I’m not gonna let that happen.”
“I see,” Valerie said, smiling a little at this person her brain had created. “And what can a hallucination do to stop it?”
“Not that you’re gonna believe me, but I’m no hallucination. And it’s almost time for me to prove it. I can’t wait to see the look on your face when you realize I’m telling the truth. Plan to be laughed at for the rest of your life about that, by the way.”
Valerie shook her head, trying to clear it. She wanted Cyrus to distract her with tales of his adventures, not offer her more proof of her own insanity.
“Why are you here?”
“I know the past few years haven’t been easy for you. But things are about to get a lot better. I’m busting you outta this place,” he said, grinning with barely suppressed pride.
She let out a short, surprised laugh. “What makes you think I’d go with you?”
Cyrus’s smile disappeared. “I can’t fathom what you’ve been though and everything you must be feeling. I’m asking you to trust me on this. I can save your life. What have you got to lose if you listen to me? Nothing. But if you stay in this hospital and wait to die, you will.”
Valerie stared at him.
“What are you thinking?” Cyrus asked, stepping closer to her.
“I’m thinking that I’ve reached a new level of crazy. One there’s no returning from,” she replied.
“Then don’t return. Come with me.”
Chapter 3
Over the next few days, Valerie relaxed as she fell back into the familiar rhythms of hospital life. She had been here so many times that the staff and other kids were more like family than any she’d ever had.
As she had during her last few visits, Valerie spent part of each day visiting the younger kids to deliver comfort and tell them stories to distract them from their pain—always under the careful supervision of a nurse or parent, of course. It was a much colder world outside of these walls, and Valerie was glad to be back. If only she didn’t have to worry about what was going wrong inside her, she could almost be content.
Because the hospital was currently at full capacity, two other children were sharing her room now, but that didn’t stop Cyrus from visiting her regularly. She did her best to ignore him, deciding that it wasn’t a good idea to indulge her hallucinations, but he made it very difficult. He seemed to take a childlike glee in forcing her to acknowledge his presence. One time, he entered the room on Dr. Freeman’s broad, dignified shoulders, pretending he was a cowboy and the doctor was his horse. He whirled an imaginary lasso above his head and pretended to pull back on reins to slow the doctor as he approached her bed.
She had burst out laughing, and the doctor had given her a sharp look and made a note on his chart, which immediately extinguished her mirth. The last thing she wanted was for Dr. Freeman to decide she was dangerous and put her in isolation. So she did her best to stay calm as she recovered.
The next day when Cyrus entered, she refused to look at him, even when he did cartwheels and back flips around the room. After more than an hour of unsuccessfully trying to attract her attention,
he finally came to a stop beside her bed.
“Not even a smile for me today?” he asked, sounding a little petulant.
“Go away,” she hissed, not wanting the other two children, Ming and Jeremiah, or their parents, to overhear her.
While Valerie read a tattered old Seventeen magazine that Nurse Beth had brought for her, Cyrus tapped his foot impatiently beside her until the other children were called away for a Halloween craft hour.
On her way out, Ming stopped by Valerie’s bed. “Can I bring Mr. Hopsalot?” she begged, cradling Valerie’s tattered old stuffed bunny in her arms.
“Of course,” Valerie replied, smiling at the happy light in Ming’s eyes as she skipped out of the room.
“Now will you talk to me?” Cyrus asked as the door closed behind Ming.
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because you’re not real,” she replied, realizing how weird she must look, talking to an empty patch of air. She sealed her mouth closed and decided not to say another word.
“So that’s how it’s gonna be, huh? What if I could prove that I’m real? Would you listen to me then?”
She looked over at him curiously, but didn’t say anything. He gave an exaggerated sigh. Dr. Freeman walked in, still calling instructions over his shoulder to a nurse in the hall. When he turned around, he stopped short.
“Oh, excuse me, Ms. Diaz. I didn’t realize you had company,” Dr. Freeman said, surprised.
“Wh-what?” she stuttered, looking around her room. No one was there—except Cyrus. Her eyes grew wide, and her heart sped up. “You can—see him?”
“Of course he can,” Cyrus jumped in, giving her a quick wink. “Stop acting like such a weirdo, Val. Nice to meet you, sir. I’m Cyrus.”
“Nice to meet you, young man,” the doctor replied, recovering his usually unflappable demeanor. “Are you a friend of Valerie’s from school?”
“No, we’re old friends from way back, aren’t we, Val?”
She could only nod her head. She realized that her mouth was hanging open, and she made herself shut it. Dr. Freeman looked at her closely and held her wrist to feel her pulse.
“Everything okay? You seem excited. I’ll have a nurse bring you a sedative,” he said, making a note on his chart. Then, turning to Cyrus, he said, “In fifteen minutes, visiting hours are over. But you feel free to come back tomorrow—or any day—to see our girl here.”
With a quick but affectionate pat on her shoulder, Dr. Freeman left the room. Valerie turned to Cyrus and let her jaw drop back open.
“Oh. My. God.” she said.
Cyrus threw back his head and laughed. “I warned you that I’m going to tease you about this every day for the rest of your life, didn’t I? Guess you believe me now! I wanted to prove I’m real so bad for the last week, but I had to wait till I was sure that you were well enough to handle it.”
“This is awesome,” she whispered, shaking her head. “How is it possible? If you’re not just a hallucination, why can Dr. Freeman see you today, but not yesterday when you rode in on his shoulders?”
“Why do you think? Magic, of course.”
“Magic,” she whispered with awe. A thrill ran through her body at the world of possibilities that one word could open. “But why are you telling me all this? I’m nobody.”
“No you’re not. You’ve got magic in you, too—more than you can imagine.”
“What are you talking about? I have hallucinations, maybe. But no magic.”
“I bet Adam would disagree with you after you threw him into his truck last week.”
“That was just adrenaline.”
“No, it’s magic inside of you, trying to burst out. But because there are rules in place to prevent people from using their powers, your magic is stifled,” Cyrus said, and his smile disappeared. “That’s why you always feel so sick after you use your power. In fact, you have so much magic that if you don’t come with me soon, you'll die.”
Childish laughter rang in the hall, and Ming and Jeremiah burst into the room covered in glitter.
Cyrus leaned close to her and said, “Meet me tonight, on the roof. No one will notice you’re gone with the Halloween party and parade going on. We can talk without anyone interrupting us.”
She nodded once, and Cyrus disappeared.
Valerie was bursting with excitement and questions. To distract herself from compulsively analyzing every word of her conversation with Cyrus, she spent the day helping the younger kids design their costumes for the hospital parade.
“Will you help me glue these jewels to my crown?” Ming asked, climbing onto Valerie’s bed for the third time that day.
Ming was a seven-year-old with warm brown eyes who was bald from her chemotherapy. She had been here two years ago when Valerie had been hospitalized last. The two had bonded then, and over the past few days had easily picked up where they’d left off.
“Of course,” Valerie said, putting aside her restless thoughts.
Nurse Beth changed Jeremiah’s IV and fluffed his pillows, all the while keeping a close eye on Valerie. It stung a little that she was always watched like a violent criminal, but she understood that they couldn’t take any risks with these kids.
Her bed was already covered in glitter and face paint from the costumes she had helped to create. As Valerie stuck the rhinestones onto the paper crown, Ming looked into her face, and her expression became worried.
“Are you going to get better soon?”
“I don’t know, cutie,” Valerie said, and reached out to hold Ming’s hand.
Ming’s brown eyes sparkled with tears that hovered on the edge of her eyelids, ready to spill over. Not wanting to upset her any further, Valerie whispered, “I’ll tell you a secret.”
Ming looked up hopefully. “What is it?”
“I might be leaving soon, with someone who has magic that can make me better.” Out of the corner of her eye, Valerie saw Nurse Beth shake her head sadly at her words.
“Is it a prince? Will he make you his princess?” Ming asked.
“No, I won’t be a princess. But maybe I’ll have some magic of my own. That’s way better than having to rely on someone else, don’t you think?”
“I don’t want you to go. I’d miss you,” Ming cried softly, interrupting her thoughts.
“I would miss you, too.”
Ming was quiet for a moment, then brightened and said, “But I want you to be happy. I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
At seven o’clock that night, when all the kids were racing around in their costumes, playing games, and eating candy, Valerie braided her long hair and slipped into a ghost costume made from an old white bed sheet.
As she glided down the hall toward the stairwell that led to the roof, Valerie had to smile at how cute all of the kids looked. They ran around, playing and shouting together. Joey, dressed as Spiderman, led a parade of kids down the hall from his wheelchair. The sound of how full of life they were reminded her that she wasn’t the only one with real troubles.
Rounding the corner, Valerie almost crashed into a medical assistant with spiky brown hair. Their eyes met, and she gasped when she saw that his were an eerie yellow. Sanguina and Yellow-Eyes had never found her so quickly before. Terror filled her with a cold paralysis. She forced herself to take a deep breath and remember that she was hidden under her sheet. Maybe he wouldn’t guess who she was. She managed to give a little wave as if she was one of the kids enjoying the Halloween party.
The corner of the man’s mouth turned up in a snarl, and he said, “I know it’s you.” She took a step back, frightened, and the lights in the hospital went out.
She heard the excited squealing of the children at the sudden darkness. “Ooo! It must be a ghost!” she heard Jeremiah shout, and his friends roared with laughter. Part of her wanted to run down the hall to the safety of the children’s party. But another, bigger part of her was tired of running.
“You’re awfully
far from your bed, little girl,” her tormentor growled. Goosebumps rose on Valerie’s arms at the slimy familiarity of his voice. “Bad things could happen to you out here.”
“I don’t believe you,” she said, proud that she was able to keep her voice from trembling. The lights flickered on, and she gasped at the hatred in his eyes.
“Then I’ll just have to prove it to you. You’re not getting away from me again,” he said, taking a step closer.
She reached out to push him away, her heart slamming inside her chest. But her hands went right through him, just like they did with Cyrus. Her fear diminished slightly. “Guess you won’t be hurting me tonight.”
Valerie heard footsteps, and she saw Dr. Freeman walking briskly down the hall. He paused and addressed Yellow-Eyes. “We need to re-stock the gauze in the exam rooms on the second floor. And check the backup generator to make sure it’s working—the lights shouldn’t have gone out for more than a few seconds.”
Her tormentor gritted his teeth. “Yes, sir.”
“I haven’t seen you here before. What’s your name?”
“Uh, Bill Smith. I’ll get that gauze for you right away,” Yellow-Eyes said, and then rushed down the hall before the doctor could question him further.
“Bill Smith,” Dr. Freeman said to himself, making a note on the pad of paper he always carried with him. Then his face softened as he turned to Valerie. “You better hurry and join the parade, little guy.”
Then Dr. Freeman left without realizing that it was Valerie under the sheet. She was so stunned that she stood frozen, processing the implications of what had happened. Dr. Freeman had seen Yellow-Eyes, plain as day. Yellow-Eyes wasn’t a hallucination any more than Cyrus had been. And the doctor wasn’t the only one to interact with her tormentors, she realized. Hadn’t Daniel talked to Sanguina? And there had been others, too, now that she thought about it.
Why had she never questioned Sanguina’s sudden appearances and disappearances more? It was as if her mind couldn’t process that there was an explanation other than some strange manifestation of paranoia and schizophrenia. But now she knew there was. Magic.