by tani shane
Her eyes dropped ashamed. His nearness was beginning to have the same seductive effect on her as before but she chose to ignore it. “I…I made a mistake and I regret it.”
“But that doesn’t mean it can’t happen again, does it?”
“It won’t happen again!” she replied weakly. His tormenting hands were already having a disturbing effect on her. “And I don’t want to discuss my personal life with you.”
He ignored her callously. “What will happen if your Adam were to find you in my arms, kissing me as passionately as before? Will he still love you?”
“Yes, he would. I meant it Steven. I thought I was doing Niki a favour.”
His eyes glinted wickedly. “So it was with Niki in mind that you let me kiss you?”
“Yes,” she lied feebly, as his fingers played wickedly with the strings, drawing a couple of them loose.
“And it was with Niki in mind that you responded to my kisses?” he murmured, bending his head towards her upturned face.
“I did not respond,” she whispered as his mouth came close to hers.
“Did too” His breath was hot on her lips.
“Did not,” she whispered again, licking her lower lip unconsciously.
He sucked in sharply mesmerized by the action of her tongue. “Temptress!” he muttered harshly before claiming the sweet mouth that she willingly offered. Before her eyes fluttered close, she noticed how very devilish he appeared in the moonlight. He was the tempter not she. Ironic; how very ironic for her fiancé to be named Adam.
The strings holding her bodice snapped under the insistent pressure of Steven’s hot fingers. His feverish lips left her mouth to trace a tantalizing trail to the soft mounds of her breasts. A guttural sound formed deep in his throat. “Jessica, be mine! Come with me tonight, my darling.”
She whimpered helplessly in response not trusting herself to speak. No man after Mark had ever made her feel like this. Why wasn’t she experiencing the fear she had felt with other men? Why was she longing to be complete with him and satiate the empty feeling deep inside her? Was this how people made love? His lips moved back to her face and for a while, she simply let him kiss her, relishing the feel of his heavenly lips.
Somewhere a lilt of laughter coming from a distance penetrated their consciousness and Steven finally broke away to lift his head and look for the source. She rested her head against his chest having accepted her defeat. When her breathing returned to normal, she searched his face. “Who…who is it?” She turned to look and he released her keeping just his hand at her elbow.
Jessica’s eyes searched into the moonlit night across to the swimming pool where they clearly saw two figures. There was no mistaking the forms of Adam and Shari as they came out of the shimmering waters. Her breath constricted when she saw Adam pour the contents of a champagne bottle over Shari who lay at the edge of the pool. When he lay down next to her and drew Shari in his arms, Jessica’s heart sank sickeningly. She saw him kiss her lingeringly before disposing off her bikini. He followed it with his own swimming briefs and moved to cover her.
Steven pulled her to him suddenly, keeping her from witnessing the passionate scene. She went in his arms without a word, tears running uninhibited down her cheeks. “I’m sorry,” he said, “I’m sorry you had to see this, Jessica.”
She steadied herself and slowly pulled away, carefully averting her eyes from the figures at the pool. “No, I’m sorry. This,” she gestured vaguely at the couple making love, “has happened because of me. It’s my fault.”
Steven’s eyes narrowed. “Jessica…”
She lifted a hand to ward him off. “I deserve it, Steven. Wasn’t I just letting you kiss me unashamed? Wasn’t I showing my desire for you?” A betraying tear ran down her cheek. “Adam wouldn’t be out there if I hadn’t been out here with you. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” She turned swiftly brushing her tears away. “I have to go. I will make it up to Adam. I will do that.”
“Jessica,” he put out a hand to restrain her but she stepped away. “I’ll drive you home.”
Her heavy tresses shook miserably. “I want to be left alone.” Her troubled eyes pleaded silently. “Please let us forget this ever happened, Steven.”
Steven let her go then, watching her red gown flowing after her as she ran across the terrace, holding her loosened bodice. He glanced at the couple by the pool, his lips set in a hard line. He watched them with controlled anger then turned away. He had had no idea Jessica was so naïve! She actually believed Adam’s treachery was her fault! She actually wanted to make it up to him!
Jesus Christ! What was she? A saint? He gritted his teeth in exasperation. Damn her! Damn her for being so infuriatingly gullible! Damn her for making him want her so desperately!
His palms slapped down on the ledge of the wall with white fury. She would probably let Warring make love to her tonight just so she could make it up to him! He would soothe her back that must be sore from those tight strings. He would make love to her and promise undying love!
Steven slammed his fist into the wall this time blood emerging from his grazed skin. He didn’t notice it. His thoughts were with Jessica. He wanted her now more than ever and was prepared to fight to the end to get her.
Chapter Seven
The wedding was still a week away and Jessica busied herself making the arrangements. That was the only way she could concentrate objectively on her life. That night after Niki’s party, Adam had not come to her apartment to seek her out and she had spent the night crying bitterly. The image of Adam and Shari kept playing in her mind till she finally threw up. She was glad in a way that he had not turned up to see her that night. If he had she would surely have let him make love to her. She was so guilty about her reckless behavior with Steven that she felt she owed it to Adam to offer herself to him. But he had not come. In fact he had merely called her up the next day and said he was going off on an important tour for a while. Somehow she was not surprised when she found out Shari too had taken off from work for an unspecified reason.
Jessica took the much needed time to sort out her life. She came to the conclusion that she would make up to Adam once they were married. She also decided not to confront him about Shari. She was convinced once the marriage had taken place Adam would forget about Shari. And how will you forget Steven? a mocking voice asked her, but she ignored it.
The mental gnawing took its toll on her health. She had a headache almost every day and took several painkillers to subdue it unsuccessfully. She also slept very fitfully bothered by the fact that it was Steven’s tormenting face that occupied her dreams and not Adam’s. Steven had not called her once since the party and it made her feel unreasonably sad. She had confided in Lynn about Adam and Shari and was thoroughly scolded by her friend who seemed to think she should drop Adam immediately. Her friend’s opinion irritated her further and she chose to remain aloof from everyone from then onwards. Of course Lynn didn’t realize the gravity of the situation. How could she know Jessica was as guilty of misbehavior as Adam?
When Jeff knocked on her apartment door a few days later, she opened it for him her eyes hollow shadows of misery. His sharp eyes looked her over disapprovingly. But he declined to speak till she gave him a cup of coffee so strong that he winced at its bitterness.
“Hell! This stuff is poison!”
She looked at him with vacant eyes. “Is it? I’m sorry.” She rubbed her aching forehead absently. “Why are you here, Jeff? Still worried about Adam? Don’t be. He’s a nice person. He can look after me and I really don’t need you now.”
She failed to see the hurt in his eyes as he said quietly, “I know about Adam and Shari, Jessi.”
Her eyes flew to his face astonished before comprehension dawned. “Steven has no business discussing my personal life with anyone!”
“I’m not just anyone, Jessica!” he said firmly. “And it wasn’t Steven. It was Lynn who called me.” Jessica swore loudly and he scowled at her. “Watch your language, yo
ung lady or I’m going to give you a paddling you will never forget!”
Jessica squared her shoulders in defiance. “You can’t do that, Jefferson, I am not a small girl anymore!”
He chuckled, his eyes twinkling with amusement. “I never paddled you even when you were young, angel. Come here, baby.” She had been sitting rigidly on an armchair next to the couch where he was seated. She looked at his outstretched hand and gave in. Jessica sat on brother’s lap, her arms about his neck while she laid her head on his comforting shoulder. “What is it, Jessi? What has happened to you?”
She dissolved into tears sobbing bitterly. “Jeff, I trusted him and he…he was with Shari!”
“I know, my angel, I know,” he said, tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear. “Why are you still marrying him, Jessi?”
“Because I owe it to him!”
Jeff’s eyes widened in surprise. “How can you owe anything to him?”
Jessica colored remembering her passionate exchange with Steven. “I can’t tell you.”
She felt him tense and he peered at her warily. “Are you…pregnant by him?”
He was so grave that she dissolved into an impromptu bout of giggles. “Oh, no! That’s not it. We haven’t even…” She bit her lip and paused. “He hasn’t touched me.”
Jeff felt the tension ebbing from him. “I’m glad that you’re not carrying his child.” He turned her to look at him. “He doesn’t deserve you, Jessi. Why are you doing this? I’m sure you will find someone who really loves you.”
Her head shook unhappily. “I was unfaithful to Adam. He doesn’t know.”
Jeff drew in a sharp breath. “Did you sleep with someone?”
“No but we did get quite…intimate.”
Jeff groaned out aloud. “Jessi, getting intimate does not amount to having sex! You are twenty-seven, for heaven’s sake! Don’t you know anything?”
A deep blush spread across her cheeks. “I’m not a virgin, Jeff, but I hold certain values very strongly.” She looked at him lovingly. “You taught me those values, Jeff. I don’t indulge in casual sex or flirtation. I can’t lie to myself. What happened between me and er..that…person was wrong. I was..am..engaged. It shouldn’t have happened.”
Her brother held her close. “Jessi, my baby. Why are you so naïve? You did nothing wrong by giving in to your needs. Please drop Adam. Don’t marry him, angel. Please.”
Jessica shook her head. “I have to marry him,” she said firmly, and then begged him with her eyes. “Please don’t ask me any more questions, Jeff. Just be there for me. I need your support.”
Jeff sighed in resignation placing his forehead against hers. “Stubborn little fool. All right, I’ll be there.”
***
The wedding day dawned bright and beautiful with Jessica experiencing a bad bout of pre-marital jitters. She had wanted a simple wedding and somehow a church wedding did not appeal her too much, at least not with the deceit that was involved. When Cheryl suggested they have the wedding on the sprawling lawn of her new home, it sounded perfect and Jessica accepted readily. A pretty colonnade swamped with delicate creepers, served as the altar for the bride and groom. For the handful of guests, a few rows of white chairs were laid out contrasting sharply against the deep green of the lawn.
Jessica was given the guest room to get ready and she asked Niki and Lynn to help her. Her dress was a simple sleeveless white satin creation that brushed the ground with a train that was not too elaborate. The headdress was a veil made of sheer net tucked neatly under a ring of fragrant flowers. She wore simple jewelry, light makeup and left her wild tresses open to cascade over her shoulders.
“You look lovely,” Niki said admiring her when she was finally ready. “Do try and look a bit happy, Jessi.”
Jessica’s shadowed eyes lowered guiltily. “I’m just a bit nervous.” She hugged Niki on impulse and then Lynn. “Thank you both for being there. I…I want to be left alone for a while. Will you…?”
“Of course,” Niki replied. “Just call if you need anything.”
Jessica nodded, watching them leave the room. She leaned against the door a sudden rush of tears blinding her. She felt weighed down with an unknown burden and wanted to run, simply run away till her breath ran out. Suddenly she was not sure why she was marrying Adam. She wasn’t sure whether she loved him or whether he loved her in return. They had not spoken much since he had returned from his trip and hardly met. When they had met once or twice, it was in the presence of others and she had chosen to keep her distance from him. He did not seem to notice her apparent withdrawal, which was good because she was sure if he confronted her, she would blurt out her woes. And she didn’t want that to happen. Not now, when they were almost married.
The phone in the bedroom rang sharply, startling her. She chose to ignore it but when it kept ringing insistently, she went slowly to answer it. It was time. They were calling her for the wedding. “Yes?” she answered tentatively, her mouth dry.
“I had to speak to you, Jessica.” Steven’s seductive voice so close to her ear caught her unawares and she sucked in sharply. “Are you listening? Answer me!”
She licked her dry lower lip nervously. “What do you want?”
“You,” he breathed with such intensity that she almost cried out aloud, “I want you, Jessica. Damn it, don’t do it! Don’t marry him!”
Slow tears flew down her cheeks. His voice was so close to her that she wanted to rush into his arms and forget the entire world. She shook her head in denial. This wasn’t right! She jabbed at her eyes with a handful of tissues. “This is none of your business, Steven. Please stay out of it. And don’t ever call me again! Please, please leave me alone. Please!”
“Fine, the choice is yours,” he said simply and hung up leaving her with a sudden empty feeling.
No! She denied furiously. Tricks all tricks! Jeff had probably told him to give a last shot at changing her mind. They had probably discussed what had happened between them at Niki’s party. Steven was not calling her because he wanted to; he was calling her because Jeff wanted him to. The reflection left her oddly unhappy and she buried her face in the folds of her dress to cry her heart out.
Fifteen minutes later, she descended the mansion’s staircase with Niki and Lillian by her side. Her veil hid the desperation on her face but her swollen, red eyes could not hide the truth. They searched for Steven at the bottom of the staircase wishing fervently he would appear at her side as he had once before. But he was not there. Her heart sank with a miserable longing that did not lift even when Jeff came by her side to escort her to the colonnade.
She walked slowly towards it, her heart constricting so painfully with every step that she couldn’t bear it anymore. Her eyes swept over the familiar faces of the guests who smiled at her. Her ears heard the strain of the piano as someone played ‘I will be here’ by Steven Curtis Chapman making her heart all but shatter into a million pieces. She saw Adam, looking dashing in his wedding suit, his blond hair shinning in the sunlight and his face smiling at her.
Her hand was cold and clammy in her gloves when he caught it in his and they stood to face the priest. Her ears heard the priest’s oft-repeated words as though in a daze but comprehended not even one. Her eyes focused vaguely on the horizon beyond catching a glimpse of the sparkling swimming pool that adorned the grounds. She froze, her mind playing back the two forms she had seen making love on the edge of one such pool.
The choice is yours! a persistent voice whispered in her mind. As though coming out of a dream, her eyes flew to Adam’s face actually seeing him for the first time. She stepped back suddenly uncertain, her eyes wide with distress. She was aware the priest had paused, she was aware of Jeff behind her, she was aware of the soft murmur from the guests, she was aware of Adam’s worried frown as he reached out to steady her.
“What’s the matter, Jessi?” he asked, holding her firmly.
“I…” She licked her dry lips nervously. “I can’t marry you.
I…can’t…”
“Jessi,” he began, his grip tightening painfully.
Jessica winced trying to pull away. “Adam, I’m sorry!”
His hazel eyes burned furiously. “It’s Hart, isn’t it? You’ve been seeing him behind my back, haven’t you? Answer me, damn it!”
“No! No!” she cried struggling against him.
“Leave her Warring or I’ll break your neck!” Jeff growled his threat coming behind her.
Adam left her sensibly but scowled at them. “You little bitch! Having an affair behind my back!”
Jessica stared at him aghast. “I don’t believe you! You are accusing me while you have been having an affair with Shari?”
Adam paled visibly. His stance softened abruptly. “Jessi, baby, we need to talk.”
She shook her head. “No. It’s over all over Adam. I don’t want to ever see or hear from you again!” She turned to Jeff. “Please take me away.”
Jeff obliged her readily and after apologizing to the guests, he led Jessica away.
***
The lead turned up dead once again. Mark had traced Jake to the last hotel he was holed up in only to find he had vacated just five days ago. He cursed in frustration. Jake was already in L.A. It wouldn’t take him long to get to Jessica.
He had to find him before that happened! If he terrorized Jessica again, Mark was sure he was going to jail for killing him!
Mark called the numbers of his various sources again. He finished his curt commands before looking at his watch. Damn! He had just one hour to spare before he had to report on duty. He had already applied for a leave but being assigned to political figures meant leaves were hard to come by. Plus the senator he was assigned to was important enough to have several layers of thick security surrounding all those working around him. It wasn’t easy for Mark to extract himself without raising suspicion and at this moment he wanted no one to so much as take a whiff at his relationship with Jessica Cantrell.