by tani shane
Tropical birds screeched their welcome as she passed under the gracefully, swaying coconut trees making her smile happily. The unscheduled holiday was turning out to be a blissful decision. For the first time in months, she was actually feeling free of tormenting thoughts that usually besieged her every living moment.
The beach was the most welcoming sight she had ever seen. The turquoise waters glittered under the bright sun and she shed her clothes to dive into their lukewarm depths. She was a good swimmer and spent a good hour swimming before she came out. The clear waters had fascinated her and she wondered if she could go snorkeling sometime. She decided to enquire with Sean and headed back to the villa toweling herself dry.
Keon, the butler, informed her that breakfast was served on the terrace outside the dining room. She found Niki and Sean smooching wantonly at the breakfast table and politely cleared her throat. They broke apart to grin at her.
“Looks like you’ve had a good time,” Sean remarked, pouring a cup of coffee for himself. “Care for some?”
“No, thanks, I’ll have some juice” Jessica replied sliding into a comfortable cane chair. “I’ve been swimming while you lazy people have been snoozing. This place is Paradise!”
“That you can bet,” Sean agreed, handing her a cool tropical drink, “I get inspired when I’m here. I’ve done a lot of paintings at the beach out there and yet every time I’m here, I see it with new eyes.”
Jessica nodded, brushing aside her damp hair. “I liked the one at Steven’s place.” Niki and Sean exchanged a quick glance and she colored, “I..mean at home.” The penthouse had never felt like home to her but she wasn’t about to let her friends know that. She smiled brightly reaching out for a piece of juicy pineapple. “So, what’s the itinerary? And Niki, why are you so quiet today?”
Niki gave her a tired look. “Jet lag…”
“And what not,” Jessica teased throwing a meaningful look at the couple, “Look, you two, don’t feel uncomfortable around me. I know you’re in love, all right?” She was aware they were sharing a single room but were being unreasonably shy around her. “So tell me, what’s next?”
Sean chalked out a quick tour of the sightseeing spots that were closest to the villa. They piled into Steven’s land cruiser that he had ready in the villa’s garage and drove out first to the eastern end of the Haleakala National Park. The area was covered with heavy jungle growth and spectacular waterfalls that drew loud gasps from Niki and Jessica alike. They went further to the Oheo Gulch in the National Park where there were many fresh water pools. It was also a popular spot for tourists to enjoy a swim but they chose not to join in this time.
The day passed by quickly with lunch at the ‘Mama’s Fish House’, an authentic Hawaiian food joint close to the town of Pa’ia. They returned to the villa by late afternoon. Jessica chose to retire to her room for a short nap that was brought on by the drugging effect of the island’s heat.
When she awoke an hour later, she declined to join Niki and Sean for an evening out despite their insistence. She had noticed the longing looks Sean was giving his fiancé and was aware that he was still very conscious of her presence around them. They deserved to be alone to enjoy themselves.
They left close to six in the evening, promising to return early. It was still daylight and Jessica compelled by the fresh breeze from the beach headed towards it for a leisurely walk and the sight of a tropical sunset. Just in case she felt like a swim, she wore her bikini under the sarong around her waist. She went bare feet wanting to feel the golden sand underneath. The path was smooth and there was hardly any chance of developing blisters.
A riot of hues was beginning to adorn the glowing evening sky stunning her with its beauty. She untied her sarong and dove into the welcoming waters. She swam about lazily enjoying her solitude. Since the beach was private, she had no fear of intrusion and felt as though the entire world belonged to her.
Unintentionally, Steven’s face floated before her eyes and she came back to earth with a thud. She wasn’t sure why she was unable to shut him out of her thoughts. He somehow managed to appear when she was least expecting; his handsome face torturing her with a mocking smile. The exhilaration she had felt abandoned her and she came out of the water feeling sober. She used the sarong to wipe herself before tying it once again around her waist.
Disturbed, she decided to walk the length of the crescent beach and shove Steven’s thoughts away. She hugged her bare shoulders close, not quite noticing the change in the breeze from the sea. It had cooled rapidly with a strong wind beginning to blow.
Jessica walked lost deep in thoughts. She had no idea how she would ask Steven for the divorce or how he would react. His accusing, fathomless blue eyes followed her and memories of their disastrous wedding night came back to haunt her. It had all been her fault. She had called out Adam’s name not because she desired him but out of fear. How could she ever explain this to Steven? He would never believe her. Who would believe that a date rape that had happened almost a decade ago still played back in her mind? Who would believe that despite her love for Adam, she had not slept with him?
She stumbled suddenly a jab of pain running up her left leg causing it to huddle underneath. It sent her splashing on the edge of the water where she had been walking. She sat up spluttering and reached out to her injured leg. She noticed then that it had grown dark so rapidly that she could hardly see her leg. She looked up at the sky and found it covered with thick, black clouds. Good lord! Was this what they called a tropical storm?
Her cold and clammy fingers fumbled as they searched her leg for the injury. They traced it to the bottom of her foot that seemed to be oozing blood. With a pang of regret she realized she had ventured into the rocky area she had seen as off limits in the morning. She had been so deep in thoughts that she had failed to see the warning sign. She winced with pain, digging her teeth in her lower lip to stop from crying out. Slowly and tenderly she stood up, balancing only on one leg. The injured one was folded behind in reflex to keep it out of the large waves hitting against her.
She knew she had to get back to the villa before the storm hit so she tentatively tried putting her injured foot down. Stabs of pain immediately rose in protest and she had a wild time regaining her balance on her one good foot. A sudden light from a torch shone directly at her nearly blinding her. Her eyes shut in retaliation while her arms remained spread out for added balance. “Who is it?” she cried out over the sound of the waves.
The light directed away from her face to her neck and she could make out the tall figure of a man. “Sean?” she called out, squinting in the darkness.
“Let me guess,” a familiar voice drawled sounding thoroughly amused, “You’re a flamingo and new at it.”
Jessica almost lost her balance in shock. It couldn’t be him! “Steven?! What are you doing here?”
“I could ask you the same question but now is not the time.” He came towards her, a dark silhouette against the black night. His arms came up around her narrow waist pulling her to him. “What kind of a fool are you swimming in a storm?” he demanded harshly.
His proximity made her shiver and she felt him draw her closer in response. “I..I was just taking a walk. I..didn’t notice…”
“Tell me later, we have to get back to the villa, now,” he returned impatiently almost pulling her with him as he made to stride away. Her whimper stopped him in his tracks and he spun around. “What’s the matter?”
She was glad his voice was edged with concern. “I’ve hurt my foot on the rocks.”
He cursed loudly scaring her. “You little fool!” was all he said before he swept her off her feet and into his arms. “You my dear are making a habit of this.” She giggled helplessly, putting her arms around his neck to keep from falling. “What? Don’t you thank me for saving your life?” he continued, making his way towards the villa.
Although she couldn’t see him too clearly in the dark, she caught the flash of his white teeth as he gr
inned. “You’re exaggerating!” she laughed.
“Oh, yeah? You try carrying me!”
She laughed helplessly. “Am I that heavy?”
“You consider yourself such a dead weight, do you?”
“I only…”
“You only, ha! You weigh about as much as a rag doll. Have you seen yourself in the mirror? You’re so thin!” She felt him trying hard not to laugh.
“Well, be glad, Steven, or you would have a hard time carrying me.”
“I could try taking you piggy back…”
“You wouldn’t dare!”
“Wouldn’t I?” he shot back just as large drops of rain began pelting them. “Here we go!”
They were almost near the villa and he hastened to get to the shelter it offered. They met Keon, when they reached the villa. “Tell us when dinner is ready,” Steven asked, before carrying Jessica up to the master bedroom where he set her down on the edge of the bed. She was dripping as he was and insisted on sitting on one of the cane chair. He rummaged through the cabinet in the bathroom and came out with a first aid kit.
Going down on one knee before her, he reached for her foot. “Now let’s have a look at that injury.”
Jessica’s mouth went dry. A similar vision of him down on his knee at Niki’s masquerade party sent a surge of warmth over her cold skin. That evening he had kissed her for the first time reducing her bones into mindless jello. Yea, Steven’s kisses did that to her without much effort. If only she could be bold enough to reach out and kiss him. Would he kiss her back? Her breath hitched at the thought making her almost moan out aloud.
Steven didn’t look up at her as he set the first aid kit next to her feet. Cold drops of water dripped from the edge of his dark golden, tousled hair onto her exposed legs making her quiver unintentionally. He was dressed informally in beige cotton jeans and a black tennis shirt. His bronze, muscular arms glistened, revealing the fine, hair that was plastered over them. The sight was too much for her to bear. All she wanted was to pull him up on her and beg him to make wild love to her! Her breath constricted maddeningly and her heart began to beat an uncontrollable tattoo. She had to think of something else, so she said, “How…did you know I was out there?”
“I came in just as you left for the beach and waited for you to get back. When I saw the storm, I knew I had to go get you,” he replied simply without bothering to look at her. He cleaned her wound and bandaged it deftly. He finally looked at her when he had finished and grinned. “That’s much better. It’s a nasty gnash. We’ll have a doctor look at it tomorrow.”
The wide, stormy eyes were tense, reflecting the uncertainty in her mind. It hit Steven like a bolt of lightning and he suddenly had no idea why he had chased her all the way here. Had he expected her to rush into his arms and beg his forgiveness? Or had he wanted to sweep her in his arms and make passionate love to her, forgetting all that had happened between them? That was partially true. He was here to clear all misgivings between them and start afresh. But what could he tell her? I want you desperately, Jessica, please make love with me?
Damn! he swore under his breath, standing up abruptly to head for the closet. “Better get out of those clothes before you catch pneumonia,” he said tightly, keeping his back to her. He pulled off his shirt with one jerk and Jessica felt her breath leave her at the sight of his magnificent torso. Taut, tanned skin stretched over well-toned muscles that rippled as he dropped the shirt carelessly on the floor and grabbed a towel. He used it to rub his wet head vigorously. “Do you want me to get your clothes for you?” he asked, without so much as looking at her. When she didn’t answer, he turned to face her.
Jessica had stood up leaning heavily against the chair and was still staring at him, her eyes wide with anticipation. Steven felt a hot, urgent craving rush through his loins with a force that shocked him. He watched the tender parted lips trembling faintly, the rise and fall of her soft, swollen breasts above the brief bikini top. He saw drops of water sliding down her silky skin to disappear into her attractive navel. He took in the curve of her hips underneath the sarong that clung to them and exposed a fragile, white leg through its side and he felt wild, scorching desire stir in the deepest depths of his soul.
Jessica saw the desire in his eyes and licked her trembling lower lip nervously. “Steven?” When he gave her no answer, she breathed deeply, trying to muster all the courage she could. She limped to him painfully and when she reached him, she placed her palm on his cool, smooth chest. The hair there was still damp making her tremble with an unknown emotion. She felt him quiver and boldly slid her palms over his taut male nipples.
His arms came up in reflex, his fingers entwining in her hair to tug her back. “What are you doing, Jessica?” he demanded hoarsely.
She gazed into his blue depths. “What does it look like?”
“I don’t want to play games!” he warned his eyes intense with carefully controlled emotions.
The cloudy eyes were deep and sincere. “I’m not playing games, Steven. I..want to make love with you.”
“How convenient,” he drawled sardonically, letting her go and cupping her chin to tilt her head towards him. “The lady gets to decide when she wants something.”
He failed to see the hurt in her eyes. “That’s not true, Steven, I don’t get to decide anything at all. Don’t you see? Here I am throwing myself at you and you don’t even want me! Now does that look like I’m the decision maker?”
The blue eyes held her moist ones for a long time. He knew they couldn’t run from each other for long. He grasped her shoulders and drew her close. “Jessica, I can’t stand being away from you any longer. Why don’t we just start our lives with a new beginning?”
She seemed relieved but held herself back. “I’d love that Steven, believe me but you have to know why I..I..pushed you away the last time.”
His face clouded. “I don’t want any explanations, Jessica. There was no last time between us.”
“But…”
“I said I don’t want to know!” he exploded, setting her away as the hurt she had caused his ego resurfaced with a vengeance. Damn her! Was she still moony over Warring?
Jessica sighed, feeling exasperated. Bright tears formed in her eyes. “Oh, what’s the use? You are so egoistic you don’t even know when a woman is ready! You will probably not believe this Steven Hart but you have been haunting me since the night I saw you in that restaurant with Niki. And when you kissed me that night at the party, I was lost! I got over Adam a long time ago but you don’t want to believe me! I…,” she paused indecisively, stepping back to put some distance between them and trying to hide her distress.
“You will probably not believe this Steven but I..I’m afraid! I’m afraid of every man that touches me.” An errant tear dashed down her cheek and she brushed it away angry with herself for showing her weakness. She stared at him furiously, failing to see the shock on his face. “I’ve had enough! I need to know where our marriage stands, Steven, please tell me.” Her voice wavered on the last words and she put a hand against her mouth to suppress a sob.
A storm raged inside Steven as he stood staring at her. He had not heard anything beyond her words that told him she was afraid of men. His closed the distance between them to draw her in his arms even as she sobbed. “Who was it, darling? Who touched you without your consent? Was it that bastard Warring? Tell me! Did he do something to you against your wishes?”
Her head shook miserably, her wet hair dampening his bare chest. “It wasn’t Adam. In fact, I couldn’t even let him touch me.” She looked up at him tearfully. “It happened when I was in college. I was r..raped at a party. He drugged me and raped me in the worst ways imaginable. He even took pictures of me so I couldn’t tell anyone. I have lived with that horror for all these years. I can’t, I just can’t let any man touch me!” She dissolved in a bout of loud sobs.
Steven went rigid, anger welling inside him. “The bastard! I’m sorry, Jessica, I didn’t know.” He held
her in his embrace and kissed the top of her head gently.
“Nobody did, not even Jeff,” she replied honestly. “I couldn’t face anyone after that awful day.” She sniffed miserably. “There’s more, Steven. I need to tell it all to you. After Jake did those horrible things to me, Ty found me outside my apartment.” Her expression softened at the mention of Mark. “I was unconscious and battered. He was, no, is my best friend; he was my bodyguard then. He helped me that night Steven.” Her haunted eyes found his blue gaze. “I asked him to help me and he did. I loved him so much but we could never be together and I made him promise to leave me after that one time.” Fresh tears began rolling down and she dropped her eyes. “After that, I just ran; I ran away from all those memories; I ran away to remain sane.”
Steven cupped her chin to peer into her eyes. “You were too young to go through it alone, Jessica. You should have told Jeff, he could’ve helped.”
She shook her head tearfully. “No, I couldn’t. I didn’t want him hating me. I hated myself for a long time after that day. I felt dirty…” Her voice trailed off and he took her back in his arms, rubbing her back absently.
“You need to let it go, Jessica. Men aren’t always brutal and making love isn’t so bad.” He braced her away from him and traced her lip with his finger. “When we get back home, promise me you will get some professional help?”
Jessica nodded shakily. “So am I forgiven?”
He drew her in his arms and cupped her face in his palms. “My darling, you did nothing wrong. I should ask for forgiveness. I’ve mistreated you.” His eyes were earnest as they asked her an unspoken question. “Jessica, can we just start all over again?” She gave her answer by parting her lips and moving towards him.
Steven felt his restraint break as he claimed her mouth in a long, hungry kiss. His arms crushed her slim form and she reached up to entangle her fingers in his damp hair. He ravaged her mouth as though he could not have enough of her and she answered boldly giving in to sweet desire. Years of pent up emotions rose to the surface and Jessica felt consumed and powerless to hold herself back. She spread her palms over the taut muscles of his chest and arched boldly towards him. His mouth left hers and he nipped tenderly on her neck. She gasped as an arrow of desire all but propelled her towards a bottomless precipice.