by Lauren Smith
“Jonathan doesn’t,” she blurted out, then regretted it.
Her sister gave an impish smile. “Of course he does.”
Audrey tried to ignore the flicker of hope that rose in her chest. “What makes you think that?” Had Horatia heard something? Had Jonathan spoken to her, or perhaps to Lucien?
“Trust me on this, Audrey. I spent many years believing that Lucien despised me. It turned out what he felt was quite the opposite.”
“You thought he despised you? It was so obvious to the rest of us how he truly felt.”
“Yes, but he was closed off to me, sometimes even cruel in the way he ignored or dismissed me. But for him, it was about denying his feelings. He feared Cedric would be furious, and he also feared he wasn’t worthy of me.” She sighed, the sound so full of regret and hurt.
“Why would he think he wasn’t worthy? He is a marquess from a long and noble bloodline.”
“Not everything is about titles, land, or money.” Audrey didn’t miss her sister’s gentle admonishment. “He was worried about his past, of which Cedric was only too aware, that he was too much of a rogue, and that I would not trust him because of that. My point is that Jonathan may be hesitant because he doesn’t believe he’s enough for you. That may be why he is cold and distant.”
Audrey rubbed her temples with her fingers, feeling a slight headache pulse behind her eyes. “But he is enough.”
“Have you told him that?”
“No…” She hadn’t wanted to raise such a prickly issue, especially when she was convinced that he might not care about her the way she did him. Loving someone was frightening.
Audrey’s heart skipped a beat.
I love him.
The epiphany was frightening. She had known that she cared about him, that she liked him, but now she could feel love stirring inside her. It was new and vulnerable, like a fawn learning to stand, but given time, her love would grow strong.
“Audrey, what is it?” Horatia was staring at her, her lips pursed with worry.
Audrey almost moaned. “Something dreadful.”
“Audrey, you’re worrying me. What’s wrong?” Horatia demanded. At her sound of distress, Evan made a little sound from his cradle.
“I love him,” she whispered. “I love him. But what if he doesn’t love me?”
Horatia’s smile reminded her of their mother again. “How could he not? He would be mad not to adore you.”
“What if there is someone else—”
“There isn’t.”
Her sister’s confidence still didn’t give Audrey any peace. “How can you be sure?”
“Lucien and the others would know about it. Lady Society would too. Between the League and the Lady, no one can keep secrets in London for long.”
Audrey bit her lip. Her sister still didn’t know about her secret. Perhaps it was time to tell her.
“I can assure you, Horatia, when it comes to Jonathan, Lady Society is as blind as I am.”
Her sister raised a brow. “Oh?”
Audrey sighed heavily. “I should have told you long ago…I am Lady Society.”
Horatia gasped. “What? But those columns—they’ve been around for years.”
“I started writing them when I was fifteen. It was easy enough to gather gossip from Cedric and the League, and I knew plenty of older ladies who attended balls and dinners. They wrote to me, sharing gossip and news, and in time I learned whose word could be trusted more than others, or who to contact if I needed insight on a particular matter. One of those people is an editor at the Quizzing Glass Gazette. It was rather easy donning the disguise of Lady Society.”
Horatia laughed, though there was a hint of concern in it. “Oh heavens, Cedric must never know, nor any of the others. After calling them out on their romantic entanglements over the years? They’ll want your head, even if you did help half of them get married in the process.”
“Jonathan knows, but he hasn’t told anyone.” She was convinced he would take that secret to his grave if she asked him to. “And as for the others, they deserved my interference. All that’s left is Jonathan and Charles.”
“Just Charles,” Horatia corrected. “Because Jonathan is most certainly yours.”
Before either sister could speak again, there was a knock on the bedchamber door.
“Yes?” Horatia called out.
A footman peered inside. “Begging your pardon, my lady, but I was told to deliver a message to Miss Sheridan.” His gaze turned to Audrey.
She slid off the bed at once. “What is it?”
“A message came here from Lord Pembroke’s estate, bearing ill tidings. Miss Beaumont and Lord Pembroke just left.”
“Oh dear.” Audrey exchanged a glance with her sister. “What was the matter?”
“It’s his lordship’s mother. She’s fallen ill, and they fear the worst. He left to attend to her, and Miss Beaumont went with him. Miss Beaumont asked me to tell you not to worry and that she would write as soon as she had news.” Audrey was thrilled that James and Gillian were together but saddened by the circumstances. The footman held out a letter. “And this arrived for you as well.”
“Thank you,” Audrey said. The footman nodded and vanished from view, closing the door. Audrey turned the folded and sealed paper in her hands, recognizing the wax seal as belonging to Avery Russell, one of Lucien’s younger brothers—the spy. The one who had been teaching her and allowing her to follow him on local tasks of observation.
“Go. We’ll talk later.” Her sister gave her a nudge toward the door. Audrey rushed to her chambers to read the letter.
Dear Miss Sheridan,
I hope this letter finds you well. I would like to call upon you in London as soon as you return. The matter is most urgent. Write to me at the address listed below. I trust that the matter will be held in strictest confidence.
Avery
Audrey made sure she’d memorized the address before she carried the letter to the fire in her chambers and cast it upon the logs. Flames caught on the edges of the paper, and they crawled in, turning the paper black. Audrey crossed her arms over her chest, feeling oddly worried. Did Avery have a mission for her? She could think of no other reason he would write to her.
I hope I am ready.
She would return to London tonight and reply to him straightaway. She summoned the maid and instructed her to pack up at once and have a coach brought round. She no longer worried about her attendance at the party. Her main purpose had been to bring James and Gillian together, and in that it seemed she had succeeded. There was no need for her to remain.
Then her thoughts shifted to Jonathan. If Avery had a mission for her, then her lessons with Jonathan were effectively over. There would be no more delicious nights in each other’s arms and slow, building kisses and caresses during the day. No more passion. Whatever had been growing between them would have to wait until she returned.
She knew what some of the others thought about her. That this was all a chance at adventure. That it was a game. But her sister’s brush with death reminded her all too clearly that this was not a game. It also reminded her why what she wanted to do was so important. England needed her, and that would have to come first.
I’ll leave a note. If I tell Jonathan I’m leaving, I’m sure he will try to stop me. Because he is a gentleman, no matter what he thinks. But if I am to be a spy, then I must do this alone.
She sat down at the writing desk in her room and dipped a quill into a bottle of ink, setting a fresh page before her.
Jonathan,
This last week has been wonderful and I don’t wish to let go of any of it, but something important has come up and I must leave at once for London. Please know that if you still want me when I return, then I am yours.
Audrey
Love and marriage, if they were even possible, would have to wait.
18
“Gone? What do you mean she’s gone?”
Jonathan was fuming. Lucien and Char
les both sat in the morning room, Lucien with his copy of the Morning Post and Charles with a novel and a cup of tea. The pair of them looked so blastedly silly and domestic it made Jonathan want to bellow like a bear. Audrey had run off, and neither man seemed to care one whit. What was the matter with them?
“She told Horatia a friend wrote to her, someone seeking advice on her trousseau, and Audrey’s fashion sense was direly needed.” Lucien reached into his waistcoat and pulled out a letter. “She left this for you.”
Jonathan took the paper, unfolding it to read. It said she’d left for London, but she hadn’t given a reason. And he was expected to believe what Lucien was saying? Well, he didn’t believe it. Yes, the little sprite loved her clothes, but to run away from a house party, from him, to see to some silly wedding dress? He’d grown so close to her in the last few days. Their shared intimacy was more than just kisses and heated looks; they were talking about life, about what they wanted in their futures. He’d fallen even harder for the woman, and to lose her now…
Did she run from me?
Had he moved too fast? Pushed too hard? He hadn’t demanded they make love fully, nor had she offered it. They were still playing a hesitant game, but now she’d left.
Jonathan paced the length of the floor. “You know full well she didn’t go back to London for some dress.”
Lucien raised a dark brow. “Careful, you’ll wear a path in the carpets if you keep on like that. Horatia likes that carpet too much. Red happens to be our favorite color these days.” Lucien chuckled at some private joke.
Jonathan halted and faced them both. “What is the matter with you? Both of you have become so bloody…boring. The old Lucien and Charles would have dashed off to discover what trouble Audrey was in and fight to save her.”
Both of his friends stared at him, their gazes taking an angry and offended turn. But then Charles set his cup of tea down and sighed. “As much as it pains to me to admit it, Lucien, he isn’t wrong. We are getting soft. My afternoon is free. Let’s go rescue the little hellion.” He stood and waited for Lucien to do the same.
“As boring as it makes me sound, I’m afraid I won’t be able to go with you.” Lucien set aside his paper. “I wish you luck, but I cannot leave Horatia or the baby. I would any other time, but Evan is still too fragile.”
For a second no one spoke, and Jonathan again had that sense that the League was fracturing, that the bonds that had once gripped them tight were starting to crumble. With it came a sense of pending doom that chilled his blood.
If we cannot stand together, we will all fall.
The door to Lucien’s study creaked open, and Horatia appeared in the doorway, her chin held high, a bundled baby in her arms.
“Evan is not fragile, my love, he’s growing stronger every day. And you are going to go after Audrey.” She patted the bottom of her bundle gently, walking deeper into the room and bouncing him.
Lucien stood up, his face reddening with a blush. “I’m not leaving you, not so soon.” He came over to her, curling his arms around her and the baby.
“Evan is fine, as am I. Audrey, on the other hand, almost certainly isn’t.” Horatia seemed to hesitate, and then she cleared her throat. “I didn’t believe her story. She’s been trying to play the part of the spy, and I fear the letter she received had to do with those desires. She burned the letter right afterward, something she never does. And that look on her face, fear and excitement. That was not the look of one about to go shopping.”
“A spy?” Lucien’s hazel eyes darkened, and Jonathan saw the building storm there, but Lucien wasn’t angry with his wife. He was angry at himself.
“I thought the lessons were harmless enough,” said Horatia. “But if Jonathan is worried, then that has me worried as well. I need you to go after her. Be the man I married, the rogue who faces danger no matter the risks.”
Lucien’s face grew hard, and Jonathan saw there the man he’d once been, the man who had dueled his own friend on Christmas Day in the name of love. The man who’d risked his life running into a burning gardener’s cottage to save Horatia and Cedric’s lives. That spirit was why the League of Rogues had once been unstoppable. The fine hairs rose on the back of Jonathan’s neck as he was filled with hope again.
“Who the devil ever put those silly notions in her head?” Lucien muttered.
“I regrettably have been encouraging her,” Charles confessed. “But she and Avery had already been in contact for the past year. I thought it would keep her entertained and out of trouble, little more than the gossip gathering she was already accustomed to.”
“Avery? So that’s what she’s been doing with him for the last year when the three of you would go out to dinners and balls. I will kill him!”
“You will not,” said, Horatia cutting him off. “If Audrey is hurt, I will kill him.”
Lucien sighed and sank back into his seat. “Audrey is trouble no matter what she’s doing. But if he’s turning her into a spy… No. She isn’t ready for such things. She will likely never be ready. She’s not the right sort of woman to…” He struggled for words.
Jonathan nodded, his worry growing. Audrey was too open and curious to be a spy, and her looks would attract the attention of men for miles. But at the same time, there was no denying that something drove her. A need to push herself beyond anyone’s expectations. And he was starting to have a sense of what that need was. Even proposing to her wouldn’t have stopped her from going after an adventure like this.
“While I am concerned she may be heading for more trouble than she can handle, you should not underestimate her abilities,” said Jonathan.
Lucien chuckled. “A pretty little girl like that? She is capable enough, I’m sure, but I can’t imagine what she could do and go undetected.”
“That’s exactly the problem,” said Jonathan, as the moment began to clarify in his mind. “You can’t. None of us can. How do you think that makes her feel?”
Charles seemed to understand, but Lucien looked only more puzzled. “What are you on about?”
“Allow me to put it this way. Would it surprise you to learn that she has been Lady Society since she was fifteen?”
“What?” Lucien leapt from his seat.
“Impossible!” Charles growled.
“Why, that interfering little minx,” said Lucien. “All those secrets she discovered. All those things she said about me…for years.”
“I trusted her,” Charles muttered, still fuming. But then, out of nowhere, he burst out laughing. “Wait. How the devil did she hear about the incident with the swans?”
Lucien rolled his eyes. “Everyone knew about the swans.”
“Damnation, how does everyone know about that?”
Lucien and Jonathan both shrugged. Rumors of Charles’s exploits always reached the ears of London society, in part because he couldn’t help but share bits and pieces of his more infamous escapades to friends outside of the League. No doubt he thought himself clever, never giving anyone the full story, but as people shared their individual pieces with one another…
Lucien shook his head. “Well, I must admit, if she could keep a secret like that this long, and have the resources to gather that much knowledge about London society, she might have the makings of a spy after all.”
“Be that as it may, she is likely in trouble, and I don’t want her hurt,” said Horatia. “All three of you are leaving for London tonight.”
“How do we even know she’s in mortal peril?” Charles demanded. “What if she’s just run off to be Avery’s companion at a ball?”
Horatia sighed. “Charles, darling, does Avery ever go to balls? Except to disrupt them? The last ball he went to was to reclaim Zehra Darzi from Lawrence and return her to Persia. He doesn’t do balls for fun, and as far as I understand it, he doesn’t do much of his ‘work’ in London. He almost always travels outside of the country.”
“How the devil do you know that?” Lucien asked his wife.
She r
olled her eyes. “You men forget that women were and still are the first and best spies. We are ignored frequently, if not completely by men. I have overheard quite a bit I shouldn’t have simply because men don’t think women have ears to listen. We’re just silly bits of muslin to them.”
Charles looked guiltily down at the floor. “That’s sadly accurate. I have noticed more than once that women are often treated like silly infants.” He glanced at Lucien. “If Horatia thinks it’s serious, there’s no harm in going now and figuring out what sort of trouble it might be. If they’re fine, we can return to the house party here and only miss a day.”
“Excellent. It’s settled then.” Horatia continued to bounce the baby, then handed him to Lucien. “Say goodbye to your son. Kiss him, then go pack. All of you,” she added to Charles and Jonathan.
Charles gave Horatia a courtly bow, as though he were accepting the command of a queen. Jonathan needed no convincing. Lucien hugged Evan close and pressed a kiss to the baby’s forehead before handing him back. Then he kissed his wife soundly, leaving her dreamy-eyed. A flicker of envy plucked at Jonathan’s heart. He wanted that domestic bliss with Audrey, but she kept running away from him. This time, though, she might have run too far and too fast.
“Make sure she is safe, my love,” Horatia whispered.
“I will,” Lucien vowed, then nodded to Charles and Jonathan. “Let’s go.”
The three of them left to make preparations. The League of Rogues was going to rescue Lady Society, from herself if necessary.
Audrey climbed out of the coach and faced the theater of Covent Garden. She shivered from the slight chill of the nighttime air. Her red satin gown with black lace was a risqué design with a plunging neckline, but it was rather suitable for the play tonight, which she had heard was terribly bawdy. Given the types of people already surrounding her as she approached the theater, a raucous crowd would no doubt be in attendance. Ladies and gentlemen filled the area, some wearing fine clothes, others wearing more scandalous attire.