Moving into his open arms, tender lips meet mine, igniting that fiery need between my legs. His kiss deepens, and his fingers get lost in my hair. With a heavy breath, he quickly reins himself in.
“Alex…” He pauses, then sighs, his thumb gently swiping my chin. “I’ll see you at the gym.” Whatever thought he had is gone.
I watch him leave and my heart aches as soon as he’s out of sight. Placing my gear in my gym bag, I eagerly prep, then settle on the couch to call Jane.
“He stayed the night?” Her shocked and enthusiastic tone spills through the receiver.
“He did. It was incredible falling asleep in his arms.”
“I’m sure he loved the oral too.”
A giggle escapes me. “He did.”
“This is a huge step, babe. I’m proud of you.”
“He’s taking me to the Carnival tonight. You and Kyle should come.”
“No! He only invited you. He wants to spend more time alone with you.”
“I know, but it’d be nice to have you guys there too.”
“Nope, I’m not being your crutch, babe. Tonight, you’re on your own.”
“Fine.”
Jane laughs into my ear. “Maybe we’ll see you there.”
“I better.”
“Have fun, babe. Give into lots of Carter kisses.”
“I will.”
“That’s my girl.”
***
Seeing Carter as I walk into Raise the Bar has my stomach somersaulting. Once I approach him, his eyes light up, and he kisses me, there in front of everyone. Several gazes turn our direction, and I lower my head, suddenly feeling shy from the attention. Carter raises my chin and rubs his thumb across it.
“I want everyone to know how I feel about you.”
A smile swells my cheeks. “I think everyone does now.”
“Just as long as the most important person knows.” He kisses my cheek, then takes my bag from my arms and sets it to the side.
I follow him to the mats as my chest becomes light with an amorous sensation.
“Today, I’ll teach you how to defend while standing, then we’ll move into ground techniques. Those will be the most important techniques to learn. That’s when you’re the most vulnerable.”
Perspiration bubbles on my neck and heat builds throughout my body. Flashes, quick and aggressive, rip through my mind. I sway, and Carter reaches out for me, stabilizing me.
“Alex, you okay?”
Tears burn my eyelids as I close them, forcing the memories and pain back into its box. Carter brings me in close and wraps his arms around me, locking me against his chest.
“That nightmare…it’s still fresh on your mind, isn’t it?” My head moves against him. He kisses my hair. “We can cancel today’s lesson. I’ll take you home and start that bath and massage.”
“No, I want to do this.” I wipe the stray tears away. “I can do this.”
“I know you can.” Releasing me, he sets his hands on my shoulders and rubs them. “You’re incredible, Alex. Your strength is limitless.”
His words penetrate deep, helping me gather my strength. “Let’s get started. How do I stand?”
Giving a tender caress across my arm, he steps back. “You sure?”
“Yeah.”
“All right. First, I want you to be the attacker, so I can demonstrate what you should do, then we’ll switch.”
“Okay.”
“The first thing I want to teach you is to block someone from trying to tackle you and get you to the ground. When someone is being attacked, we do what is called the reflex response. We put our arms up like this,” he raises his arms, “to block our face. You want to use that same reflex response as defense and offense. If you do what is called, the spear, and move your arms and hands forward, you can knock someone back and stop them from getting you to the ground. Now, come at me like you want to tackle me.”
Spreading out my arms, I apprehensively charge toward Carter. He puts his arms up, forward, and into my chest and neck. Resistance keeps the momentum of my body from moving forward, then he adds his own momentum, and I’m thrown back, quickly moving my feet to catch my fall.
“You see how that works?”
“I do, yeah. That worked better than I expected.”
“Good, now let’s switch.”
Instinctively, I put my hands up like he taught me in kickboxing, and as he attempts to tackle me, I lunge my arms forward against his chest and neck and his efforts to tackle me are blocked, knocking him back a couple steps.
“See how that works?”
“Yes!” My enthusiasm tilts the corner of his mouth.
“The next thing I’m gonna teach you is how to respond if you know you’re going to be tackled.”
Before long, I’m flipping Carter over my head, and as he lands on the mats, my adrenaline and excitement pump wildly.
“Oh my God! I did it!”
“You’re doing great. You’re picking this up quick. If you’re ready for it, we’ll move onto ground techniques.” Nervously, I nod. He takes my hand in his. “If at any moment you need to stop, just say so and we’ll be done for today.”
My nerves mix with my adrenaline, but I want to continue, unwilling to let the awful memories inhibit me. “Okay, let’s do this.”
“All right. Lie back with your feet on the mats and your knees up.” Carter gets on his knees and settles between mine. Rubbing his hands over my legs slows the hard thumping in my chest.
“The first technique will be how to respond if I’m on top of you, trying to punch you and knock you out. I want you to grab my shirt, pull me in close, head to chest or shoulder, and keep me against you, then start wailing on my head, face, and side. When I squirm to get free that’s when you kick at my stomach and knock me completely off.”
Several rounds of this have me breathing heavy but concentrating on the moves keeps my mind from going elsewhere. When Carter stops, my arms collapse, and I lay there, exhausted.
Lying on his side, facing me, he raises his head and rests it on his hand, not even breathing heavy. “How do you feel?”
“Drained. Ready for that bath and massage.”
“You did great today. It was a good start. I have several more techniques to show you, but we’ll do them in the next session. You ready to go home?”
“I am.” I turn to face him, resting my head on my own hand. “What time are you coming over?” I ask, a little too zealously.
“Now, if you want. I brought a change of clothes and some of my things.”
“Let’s not waste any more time then.”
CHAPTER TWENTY
—
ALEX
A sheen of moisture lingers on Carter’s hard muscles and bare chest from his shower. My gaze is frozen on him, and the wanton need plaguing me does nothing for my willpower. Through the mirror, his eyes lock on mine. Arousal hardens his expression, and he watches me, waiting for my response. I didn’t mean to catch him like this. I thought I’d get in and out before he was done with his shower, but now my body is moving on its own accord, drawn to him like an energy force needing a connection.
My hand grazes the door frame, and I cross the threshold, committing to my endeavor. Carter slips his fingers through mine as I reach for him. Turning me, he leans me against my sink counter, giving me a sensual kiss. His lips move against mine in slow, passionate motions. The need that plagued me, now burns between my thighs, begging to be sated.
Large hands take hold of my ass and raise me onto the counter. Moans erupt from my mouth between eager flicks of his tongue. Carter’s hand is placed at my waist, the other tangled in my hair as he holds the nape of my neck, gripping me with such intensity, I tingle from his touch.
There’s no place for words in this moment. I want this sensation, this desire and total loss of control to last as long as possible. My fingers slide into the waistband of Carter’s towel and pull it loose. Carter begins to pull away. Leaning forward, I claim his
mouth and reach for him. His erection fills my hand, and a subtle moan escapes him as I continue to stroke the length of him.
Releasing from our kiss, his breath is heavy. “Alex…” His hands take hold of the counter as he gnaws his bottom lip and closes his eyes, giving into my touch. Bold, blue sapphires flick open and narrow in on me.
“I need to make you feel as good as you make me feel.”
His lips slam into mine and he lifts me from the counter. Legs instinctively wrapping around his waist, he carries me to my bed and lays me on it.
“I won’t let things go too far, I promise, but I need to taste and touch you. Do you want that? Do you want my mouth here?”
Gently, his hand rubs against me and heat bursts from my core. My head tips back and I let out a desperate, needy moan.
“Yes, please touch me, everywhere.”
My clothes can’t get off fast enough, but Carter insists on undressing me slowly. Each article of clothing slides off, followed by a trail of kisses. Lying bare beneath him, he admires me as he places his hands on my waist and slides me to him. With my legs spread, he lowers himself. The moment his tongue touches my clit and begins rhythmically twirling and sucking, my body tingles, and my orgasm builds, ready to erupt at any moment.
Soaking wet and jerking my lower half against his face, Carter manages to still slide a finger into me and I cry out in pleasure. His skilled licks and strokes take me right over the edge. My body trembles, exploding into a sensation of euphoria.
It’s the first orgasm I’ve had from a man in over a year, and I lay there basking in the incredible feeling. Carter eases onto the bed next to me and raises his hand to my breast and kneads it in his palm, flicking his thumb over my hardened nipple. Covering it with his mouth, he sucks, pulling it between his lips. Arousal shoots up my abdomen and back down.
Placing my hand on his cheek, I raise his lips to mine, ready to devour him just as he did me. With my hand to his chest, I push him onto his back. Reaching down, I take his hardened erection in my hand and stroke him several times as I kiss him.
Pulling away from his kiss is a struggle, but I’m eager to please him and give him relief. I lower myself and take him into my mouth. Laying his head back, he lets out a breath. His hand lovingly strokes my hair as I move my lips and tongue up then back down.
A pleasured groan escapes him and his hand finds my breast and massages it as I take him to his climax. I know he’s near when he thickens then pulses. Hot cum fills my mouth and I swallow and lick every bit of him clean.
Carter takes me in his arms and lays me down on top of him. His erection presses against me and I don’t panic or shudder. I lower my hips to his, enjoying the feel of him against my wet folds.
Tenderly, his hand strokes my face, his thumb running along my bottom lip. Bold, blue eyes are fixed on me, and I can see the affection in them, but I know it’s more than that. Something has grown between us, and it’s happened so quickly, I was too slow to catch on to it.
“There’s something about you that makes me want to have you in my arms every night and wake up to you every morning. I want you to be mine. I want you to know I’m serious about us. I want a committed relationship with you.”
Hope brightens his eyes and before my mind can think my heart is already speaking for me. “I want the same.”
Carter’s smile lights up his face. His kiss parts my lips and his tongue caresses mine, and with his kiss, I feel it—I’m falling in love with him.
His hand strokes my hair. “We better get moving before the man down south perks up again.”
Giggling, I wiggle off him. He kisses my nose, cheek, then lips. As I turn away from the bed, Carter slaps my ass cheek. Laughter escapes me, and I glance over my shoulder to see him looking at me with a giant grin on his face.
***
Bright lights from the Carnival cast glowing shades of color across the horizon. The Ferris wheel spins and blinks as the delicious fragrance of funnel cakes and fair food meet my nostrils. Carter’s arm drapes over my shoulder.
“What do you want to eat first?”
“Mmm, taco in a bag, chili dog, barbecue pulled pork, pizza, and fried chips.”
“We’ll see how many of those you actually get through,” Carter laughs, grinning at me. “Just make sure to save room for the funnel cake.”
“Oh, I will. Don’t you worry.”
Moments later, my sticky, barbecue covered fingers feed Carter the last of our shared pulled pork sandwich. He smiles and winks at me and I use the napkin to gather the bit of barbecue sauce on the corner of his mouth.
“Taking care of me already?”
I blush, and Carter smirks before kissing me. “I like it.” His arms slide around my waist.
“Where to next?” I ask.
“I think it’s time I win you something big and stuffed.”
Handing me my own set of darts, Carter’s gaze sweeps the stuffed animals. “Which one do you want?”
I point to a fuzzy, cream-colored bear. “That one.”
Carter nods. “That one it is.”
Nine darts later, the vendor is handing me the bear I chose. I take the big, fluffy thing with black, button eyes and tuck it in my arm. It’s silly that something as trivial as this stuffed bear gives me butterflies, but it’s a symbol of something more. Carter displays time and again how important it is to him that I’m taken care of and happy. His fingers find their way between mine as we walk through the crowd and the verbal coaxing of game hosts. It’s a cooler night, but my body is humming with heat—all because of him.
Glancing at the flashing lights and swaying seats of the Ferris wheel, I look to Carter.
“You want to ride?”
“If you do, then yes.”
The line moves quickly, and we’re tucked into the bucket seat with my bear smashed into the corner for its own protection. Carter places his arm around me and I nudge closer to him. A soft caress of his fingers brushes my hair behind my ear, sending a ripple of pleasure across my shoulders and arms.
The seat jolts forward as the operator shifts the power mechanism. Blinking lights fill the corner of my eyes as I look out over the dark backdrop and the colorful specks of vendor stands scattered across it.
A graze of Carter’s thumb along my neck returns my attention to him and his handsome face.
“Would you like me to stay the night again?”
“Yes.”
“Would you still like the bath or massage?” His comforting touch caresses my arm as the Ferris wheel brings us up toward the top once more.
“If it’s on the table, I’ll take both.” I wink, and he squeezes me close before kissing me.
Leaning into his nook, I indulge in his affectionate strokes along my arm and side while we watch the painted horizon rise and fall with each rotation of the old, squeaky, romantic carnival ride.
As we descend the Ferris wheel stairs, I get a glimpse of Jane’s blond hair swishing back and forth as she waves her arms with enthusiasm. Moving through the crowd to find her, I reach her and am instantly pulled into her embrace. Her cherry blossom fragrance envelops me, snuffing out the scent of fried dough for only a moment until we separate.
“I’m glad you made it!”
“We arrived a bit ago, just finished messaging you when I saw you both.”
My phone vibrates in my pocket and I laugh. “Just got your message.”
The corner of her mouth creases as she looks at the fuzzy bear tucked in my arm. “Having fun?”
“I am.”
“He staying over again?” Jane tilts her head toward Carter who’s deep in conversation with Kyle.
“Yes.”
Jane’s toothy grin spreads wide. “I’m proud of you.”
Rolling my eyes, I place my hand inside her arm. “Help me find a bathroom.”
Jane waves her hand over her shoulder. “C’mon hot cheeks, Alex needs a bathroom.”
Kyle and Carter follow a few steps behind as we weave throug
h the crowd. They stop at a game booth to shoot guns at stars while Jane and I slip into the bathroom just ahead of the stand.
As I turn the corner my body jolts in response to seeing Elizabeth, Todd’s sister.
“I’m so sorry.” Nerves bunch in my stomach as I place my hand on her arm to steady her.
Her bright, hazel-green eyes dart between me and Jane. “Alex. How are you?”
We all move out of the path of women trying to get to the stalls. “I’m doing good. How are you? I’m surprised to see you here.”
Her hands rest on her swollen belly. “I’m very ready for this gal to arrive. Eight more weeks. We’re counting down. We came to visit Todd for the weekend, but he had some paperwork to catch up on tonight and couldn’t make it out with us.”
Relief sweeps over me.
“Congrats,” Jane tells her, pointing to her belly.
Elizabeth studies her. “Jane, right?”
“Yeah, it’s been a long time.”
“Time flies, doesn’t it?”
My foot shuffles from the awkward conversation, I’m ready to dodge her scrutinizing gaze. I’m sure she senses my discomfort, it’s practically emanating off me.
“He misses you, Alex.”
And there it is.
“He’s been torn up ever since your fight. He wants to work things out. He loves you.”
“He has a funny way of showing it,” Jane chides.
Elizabeth’s smooth voice develops an edge. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“He walked out on her again.”
“He didn’t walk out on her. They had a fight. That happens when two people love each other.” Her eyes shift to me. “He said he gave you a couple days to cool off, and when he called to talk, you broke up with him.”
“Your brother neglected to share a few crucial details with you.” Jane’s eyes narrow. She’s about to unleash and Elizabeth is an unsuspecting innocent caught in the mix.
“Jane.” She glances at me and I shake my head. Her shoulders roll back.
Elizabeth stares at me with pleading eyes. “You should call him. He really does miss you.” She affectionately touches my arm as she retreats.
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