by B. B. Hamel
He narrows his eyes. “Tell me.”
“He doesn’t have many personal items in his house,” I say. “It’s mostly things for his daughter. I snooped around but I didn’t find anything like drugs, not so much as a bottle of Tylenol. There’s barely any alcohol in the house either. He has a couple bottles of whisky, and that’s it.”
“That can’t be true,” my father says.
“It is true,” I respond, bristling a little. “I’m home alone with his daughter all day long. I have free reign of that house.”
He pauses for a second and watches me. “Tell me about the daughter.”
I frown. “She’s cute. Just a little girl.”
“How old?”
“One and a half.”
“Interesting.” He folds his hands together. “Maybe we can use her.”
I don’t like where this is going, not t all. “I agreed to help you spy on Griffin,” I say. “I didn’t agree to bringing his daughter into this.”
“We need every advantage we can get,” father snaps at me. “Do you understand that?”
“Yes,” I say. “But she’s innocent. There has to be something about Griffin you can use. Just give me more time.”
“How much more time do you possibly want?” he asks. “Don’t you hate working for him?”
I hesitate. “Of course,” I say.
But my father isn’t fooled. Say what you want about Rick Fisher, he’s an asshole and a control freak, but he can read people very well.
His smile is sweet and scares me. “You like him,” he says.
I decide to tell the truth. “I like his daughter,” I answer. “She’s sweet. And innocent.”
“Maybe. She is young, after all.” He leans forward. “But I don’t give a fuck about that, Erin. This is about the business.”
Of course, The Business. That’s what he calls it, what he’s always called it. The Business is absolutely everything to him.
“There could be something about her mother,” I say, trying to change the subject away from my feelings.
“We have had trouble identifying her.”
“I might be able to find that out,” I say. “I’m going to need more time, though.”
He sighs and pours himself another drink. He watches me for a second then shakes his head. “I never knew if I could trust you, Erin,” he says. “You’ve always been… flighty. Maybe a little weak. You take after your mother that way.” He pauses as he sips his drink. “Can you handle this job?”
“Yes,” I say softly, but I know that’s probably a lie.
If he can see through me, he doesn’t show it. “No more bullshit, Erin. No more worrying about the little girl. I don’t care if you like her, we need to destroy Griffin McGrath. We need leverage in this negotiation, otherwise he’s going to destroy everything I’ve built. Do you want that?”
I shake my head. “No,” I say, but I’m not so sure anymore.
“Good.” He throws his drink back. “I don’t want that, either. The family needs this business. You need this business. And you need to do your job.”
“I am,” I say.
“Do it better.” He glares at me. I can already see the alcohol starting to take effect. “Don’t embarrass me and let me down. Get me something I can use. Don’t prove me right.”
I take the bait. “Right about what?”
“Your weakness,” he sneers.
I look down at the ground. “I’ll try.”
“Try harder.” He pours himself another drink. “You’re dismissed.”
I don’t need to be told twice. I get up and walk quickly out of his office.
As I get into the kitchen, Ward is sitting there waiting for me. “Well?” he asks.
“Well what?” I say, brushing past him.
“Did Father tell you what’s what?”
I clench my jaw. “Leave me alone, Ward. You have nothing to do with this.”
“Yes, I do,” he hisses. “I’m a part of this company now, unlike you. I don’t think you even care about the business, do you?”
No, I think to myself, I don’t. “Leave me alone,” I say instead.
I head upstairs, leaving Ward down in the kitchen. I don’t want to hear it from him as well. I’m fuming by the time I get into my room and shut the door, locking it behind me.
What the hell am I doing? I’m twenty-four years old, and yet here I am, still living at home, still letting my awful family boss me around. They’ve been doing this my whole life, doubting me, yelling at me, embarrassing me. When I was living abroad, those were the best years of my life, because I was away from my awful family.
But now I’m back, and I agreed to do this shitty thing, all because I still crave their acceptance. I thought maybe this would be it, maybe if I did this really hard and crazy thing they’d finally forgive me for being whatever kind of failure they think I am. Maybe it would prove that I’m worthwhile.
Instead, so far it hasn’t done a thing. They still sneer at me and look down on me. In fact, the only times I feel happy and accepted right now are when I’m over at Griffin’s.
That thought surprises me. I flop down on my bed and groan a little bit. Griffin makes me feel good, and that’s so, so dangerous. Or maybe it isn’t, maybe it’s not so bad. Maybe I can let him make me feel good while still trying to win over my bastard family.
My father was just drunk. He’ll sober up and feel bad about the way he spoke to me. And forget about Ward, he’s just stressed. I can do this, I can make this work. I can let Griffin make me feel good and I can get what I need to make my family happy.
I can do everything. I just need to work harder.
5
Griffin
I’m later than I thought I would be as I head back home after a long day at work. It’s around nine at night. I called Erin earlier in the evening and let her know I’d be later, and she said that would be okay. It was a huge relief hearing that.
I head in the front door, trying to be quiet. Erin is sitting in the living room, her legs folded underneath her.
“Hey,” I say to her. “Sorry about that.”
“No problem.” She stands and smiles. “Lacey is in bed and asleep, but you can wake her up if you want to see her.”
I grin and shake my head. “I’m a single father. I know better than to wake my kid up.”
She laughs a little bit and drifts over toward me. I head into the kitchen and grab a bottle of wine and two glasses while she sits down at the counter.
“How about that drink now?” I ask her. “Or is it too late?”
She shakes her head a little bit. “Not too late. I’m young, remember?”
“That’s right, you are young.” I smirk at her. “A little too young, maybe.”
“You think so? I’m surprised to hear you say that.”
“Why?” I pour two glasses of wine.
“Well, I heard that you like them young.”
I stop and stare at her for a second before bursting out laughing. She grins at me and I hand her a glass. “Okay, fair enough,” I say. “So you’ve heard some things.”
“Just a few small things,” she says, sipping her drink.
I’m surprised she had the balls to make that joke, but I had to admit, I like it. She looks so gorgeous tonight, with her thick dark hair brushed over one shoulder, her full red lips parted slightly to drink her wine.
“What else have you heard?” I ask.
“Oh, nothing important.”
I grin. “Go ahead, tell me. I haven’t heard anything about you, so we’re not on an even playing field here.”
“That’s a good point.” She fingers her glass a little bit, nervously touching the stem. For a second, I imagine that same gesture along the length of my hard cock. “Back before Lacey, you used to party a lot. But you changed a lot since she came along.”
I laugh and nod. “That’s right. Can’t spend all night in a club anymore. Did James tell you this?”
She smirks a little
. “Maybe.”
“He’s just jealous that I can’t get drunk with him every night.”
“And yet here you are, getting drunk with me.”
I laugh again. “Not drunk. And I made sure my daughter was taken care of first.”
“Good point.” She smiles a little. “Okay, so what do you want to know about me?”
“That’s a dangerous question,” I ask, raising an eyebrow.
She glances down at the counter. “Maybe. I can handle it.”
“Okay then. Since you know so much about my love life, tell me about yours. When was your last boyfriend?”
She raises an eyebrow. “How do you know I don’t have one right now?”
“Because I don’t think you’d look at me the way you do now if you were in a relationship.”
She blushes a little bit and I feel a thrill run down my spine. “Okay, fine. My last boyfriend was three years ago,” she admits.
“Really?” I ask, surprised. “That long?” I can’t imagine this girl staying on the market for very long.
She nods, a little shy. I love that about her. So fucking modest. “And… well, he was the only one.”
“What do you mean?” I stare at her in disbelief.
“He was my first boyfriend.”
I’m totally taken aback. I can’t really believe this. “Your first boyfriend was at twenty-one? And you haven’t had one since?”
She nods, smiling a little a bit. She clearly likes my reaction. “He was American, which I think is why I liked him. He was like the only cute American living in my area. It’s a lot easier to date someone when you both speak the same language.”
“But why haven’t you had any other boyfriends before or since?” I don’t understand it at all. She’s a beautiful girl. I know men have been hitting on her for as long as she’s been an adult. Probably longer, since some guys are huge fucking creeps.
“Just never wanted to, I guess,” she says.
“What was different about that guy?”
“Mark was… I don’t know, nice. And he spoke English. I was really lonely over there.”
I nod slowly. “I understand that.” Although I don’t, not really. This girl is absolutely fucking gorgeous and smart. She could have anyone she wants anytime she wants them.
“I doubt it. I don’t think you’ve ever been lonely in your whole life.”
I shake my head and sip the wine. “Not true, actually.”
“Come on.”
“Really. When I first started Numbers, I was just a kid in my dorm at MIT. I wasn’t rich or handsome back then.”
“You’ve always been handsome,” she says, shaking her head.
I grin at her. “Thanks for agreeing with me.”
She blushes. “Not what I meant.”
“Oh, I think it is what you mean. And now I know where you stand.” I grin at her and let her squirm a little bit before continuing. “Anyway, I was more interested in creating the Numbers Group than I was in partying back then, if you can believe it. Those first few years… they were tough.”
“How so?” she asks.
“I sacrificed a lot,” I say, thinking back on those first few years. It wasn’t exactly a dark part of my life, but it was definitely stressful and difficult in ways I haven’t had to experience since. It was all worth it, of course, but I sacrificed a lot. “James is pretty much the only friend I still have from back then. People grew up, got married, but I just kept working and working. Never had time to get close to anyone. I guess that’s why I developed the reputation I have now.”
She laughs and shakes her head. “No, I doubt that’s the only reason.”
“Okay,” I say, grinning at her. “Maybe not the only one. But still, those early years, it was all Numbers.”
“What about now?” she asks.
I glance over at the hallway. “Things are different now.”
“Lacey,” she says softly.
“That’s right.” I sip my wine for a second, smiling to myself. “That first night Lacey appeared in my life, I was so scared. I’d never held a baby before, you know.”
“Seriously?” Lacey asks.
“Seriously. I didn’t have siblings or super close family, so I just never held one until Lacey. I thought I was going to break her.” I laugh a little bit, thinking back to those first fumbling days with her.
“But you didn’t.”
“I didn’t,” I agree, nodding. “I had some help early on. Hired some people. They never stuck, though. I always wanted to do it myself. Because I love that kid to death, I just couldn’t let anyone else take care of her.”
“I see,” Erin says softly, smiling at me. I lock eyes with her then quickly look away. I know what that look means, and it makes me a little uncertain.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to ramble. I must sound like the biggest soft boy,” I say, trying to change the subject.
“Not at all,” she says. “Actually, I’m impressed. Not a lot of people in your position would take to being a father like that.”
“It was hard at first. But now I couldn’t imagine anything else.”
We lapse into silence for a second as I remember those early days. I remember the fight I had with Lacey’s mother, and how much I hated her. But then I was too busy learning to be a father to think abut her anymore, and it quickly became all about Lacey. My whole life changed that night. In a lot of ways, those first few months were a lot like the early days of Numbers. I didn’t go anywhere or see anyone. I had one single task, and that was to take care of Lacey. That was the only thing I really cared about.
That’s really fulfilling in a lot of ways. Having a task to totally throw yourself into can make you feel good, especially when that task is taking care of your flesh and blood. I fell in love with Lacey instantly, but I really realized the depths of that love those first few months. I totally lost myself in caring for her and in running the business, and I basically did nothing else.
But people can’t exist that way forever. Sooner or later, you have to let people back into your life. I learned that back in the day when Numbers began to take off and I had to admit that I couldn’t control every single little detail anymore. I was lucky that I still had James to hang out with.
Now I’m starting to realize it with Erin and Lacey. I took care of Lacey all on my own until now, and it feels really good to have someone like Erin help me. I don’t know why but I trust Erin already. Lacey seems to really like her, and she seems like a really good person. I don’t know much about her, but I’m intrigued. Plus, it helps that I want to strip her down and absolutely fucking ravage her.
“Your turn now,” I say to her. “I opened up. Tell me about your life.”
She shrugs a little bit. I top of our wine glasses and she adjusts her position on the stool.
“Not much to say. I went to boarding school for most of my life abroad in Canada, and then I went to college in Germany.”
“So you grew up wealthy,” I say.
She smiles a little. “I guess so.”
“Only rich people go to boarding school.”
She grins. “Okay, yeah. My family does well. But I don’t want to rely on them.”
“That’s why you became a nanny in Germany?” I ask.
She glances away. “Sure,” she says. “Anyway, I can empathize with what you said. It’s really tough to be isolated, even if you’re fulfilled in your isolation.”
I grin at her a little bit, surprised. “That’s pretty insightful.”
She grins back. “What can I say. I’m pretty smart.”
“Yes, you are,” I say softly, sipping my wine. “So what does your family do?”
She glances away again. “Nothing special,” she says. “You know. The usual rich person stuff.”
I smirk a little. “That’s vague.”
She laughs. “It’s really boring.”
“Well, I wouldn’t want to bore you.” I glance behind her at the clock and I realize that we’ve been tal
king for nearly forty-five minutes. “Listen, are you hungry? It’s pretty late.”
She shakes her head then stifles a yawn. “No, I’m okay. I should probably get home.”
I nod though inwardly I’m disappointed. I wanted to kiss her tonight, maybe do more to her, but I shouldn’t push. We had a good conversation. I don’t want to fuck that up.
“Okay,” I say. “Let me walk you out.”
She gathers her things and I follow her down to the front door. Once we get there, I open the door for her, and she lingers in front of me as she’s leaving.
“Same time tomorrow?” she asks.
I nod. “If that’s okay.”
“It’s great.” She bites her lower lip and she’s so fucking close to me. I know that look on her face, I know what she’s thinking.
But before I can take her hair and pull her against me, she slips past and out onto the street. She turns back once to wave then hurries away.
I step back inside and shut the door. I’m smiling to myself as I head back into the kitchen to make something small to eat before going to bed.
That was good. I’m surprised at how much I opened up to her, though. Those aren’t things I normally tell people, let alone someone I barely know. And yet it felt totally natural.
Still, there was that weird moment when I asked about her family. I got the sense that she was hiding something. I don’t know why or what, but she was definitely being purposefully vague.
I’ll need to look into that. I don’t want to push, but I can’t help but admit that I’m curious. I want to know about her. I want her to open up.
And I want her to let me slide my fingers down between her legs and make her feel fucking good.
Soon, I keep telling myself. Very soon. Just be patient. She’s not the kind of girl I’m used to. I can’t play this like I normally do. She’s smarter, funnier, a better person all around. She’ll come to me, sooner or later.
I just have to be patient.
6
Erin
The next day, I feel guilty as hell.
As soon as I head over to Griffin’s in the morning and take over watching Lacey, the guilt just settles in like a heavy wool blanket. Griffin is super nice in the morning, although he’s clearly in a rush, and Lacey is just so adorable. I feel so guilty knowing that I’m spying on them for the man that’s trying to screw this nice little family over.