“I heard enough. Cole. Sex tape. And I wasn’t the other person in it.” I picked the cold washcloth up from the couch. “I’m fine.”
“So he didn’t tell you about this.” It was more of a statement than a question.
I reclined back on the couch. “Nope. Can’t say that he mentioned it.”
“I’m on my way.”
She hung up without even a goodbye, and I draped the cold thing over my face.
At least my sneezing fit had stopped. Maybe that was the answer. Live in a shocked state of confusion for the rest of my life, and my allergies would be in remission.
My phone buzzed and something told me it was Cole so I ignored it.
But it buzzed again and again.
So I silenced it.
He definitely lived in a different world than I did. One of the many reasons why this wouldn’t work. I’d never want to be taped having sex, and if I did, you better damn believe that thing would be under lock and key with armed guards.
I let out a groan as my phone started vibrating off the coffee table and rather than turn the vibration off, I turned off my phone entirely.
Maybe I was pissed I wasn’t the one starring opposite Cole in the production. But if he had been with Charlotte Hunter, it told me everything he said couldn’t possibly be true while we were making…having sex this weekend. She was no doubt the most beautiful woman alive.
Not that it mattered.
I sat back on the couch, feeling nothing less than a fool. Nick was right. I was wired to care. That didn’t make me less than, but it made my life more complicated. I thought back to Mr. Harten. I bet he never predicted this kind of interference with round two of Cole and Natty. I shook my head in disbelief.
And then my mind wandered to the tape itself. I wondered what he looked like in it, and I wondered what the production value would be like. Was it one of those shaky handheld, hey look at me videos or was it the real deal with proper lighting and everything? Probably the latter.
That would be how I’d want it done.
Cynthia suddenly seemed like the battle I’d much rather fight. I threw my head against the back cushion and groaned as a thought occurred to me.
Did Cole tape me too?
A pounding on my door spooked me right out of my speculation. Both Sophie and Nick had keys. I glanced out the window and saw a car I didn’t recognize.
“Who is it?”
“Anthony.”
“Did your brother send you to do his dirty work?”
“It’s not like what it seems. I guarantee you.”
“Whatever. Tell your brother that Fireweed is too small an island for people with honesty issues. He should have told me why he was flying to LA.”
Anthony let out a few mumbled curses, and I realized he was talking to his brother on the phone.
“She won’t let me in,” Anthony said, and then he went quiet. “I’ll tell her. Natty, he told me to remind you of your promise.”
“I made that promise before I realized I’d end up looking like a fool. Deal is off.”
Anthony put his cell on speakerphone and Cole’s voice came over. “It’s a false extortion attempt. You’ve got to believe me.”
“Sure it is, buddy. Any man who had the opportunity to sleep with Charlotte is not going to turn it down.”
“I didn’t sleep with her. I have never slept with her. There is no tape. That’s why I didn’t bother telling you. I though we could squash this before it hit the papers.”
I wanted to believe him, but rather than say a word about it I stared at the solid wood door between Anthony and me.
“Anthony, how did you get here? You’re not supposed to be driving.”
“I had the nurse bring me.”
“Why are you ignoring me?” Cole asked.
I wasn’t trying to ignore him. I honestly didn’t know what to say.
“Do these things happen often?” I asked, my arms folded in front of me.
“Not involving me, but I’ll explain everything. Promise me you’ll give me a chance. Listen, I’ve got to go talk to my lawyers.” Cole’s voice sounded distant. “I thought you’d pick up my call, Natty. Are things ever going to change?”
His words were like a million stabs to my heart because I had no idea.
“Or are we always going to be two ships in the sea sailing in opposite directions?”
“I don’t know, Cole.”
“What was that?” he asked.
Right. There was a door between us.
“Okay, Cole. I’ll call you when I get back to the house.” Anthony hung up on his brother. “He didn’t sleep with her.”
“I believe him, but our lives are so different. I don’t know if we’ll ever—”
“Cynthia is the one extorting them.”
My blood chilled.
“Are you serious?”
“No reason to lie. My foot is throbbing. I’ll be up at the house if you need anything, but I hope you give my brother a chance because I don’t think he could survive this twice.”
I heard his crutches hit the gravel and let out the breath I’d been holding in. Sophie’s key met the lock minutes after and she flung open the door to see me standing in the foyer in tears.
It was like I was destined to shut Cole out of my heart forever. I’d made my mind up eight years ago and lived my life accordingly.
“That bastard,” Sophie said, giving me a hug. “Who does he think he is?”
“He didn’t do it,” I said, between sobs.
She took a step back and looked at me confused.
“Then what’s the problem?”
“I wouldn’t answer his calls, and he had to send his brother over to get me to talk to him.”
“Oh,” she said softly.
“I don’t think he left the island with any doubts.”
“But he has them now,” Sophie finished. “I’m sure he will understand the shock of everything. We’re not used to stuff like this.”
“I know,” I breathed out. “I’ve got to get a hold of myself. If it’s meant to work out, it will.”
“But it might help if you picked up the phone. It’s a bit of a sore spot with him. And definitely answer his letters.”
I gave a faint smile and took a deep breath in through my nose. At least I could breathe now.
“Nothing like a little heartache and scandal to keep those histamines in check. It looks like you’re going to be okay so I’m headed to the Loxxy.”
“Thanks for checking on me.”
“That’s what we’re here for.” She shut the door behind her, and I grabbed my phone, turning it on to a flood of messages from Cole.
It’s not what it seems
Don’t believe what you read
It’s not true
Let me explain
Please don’t ignore me
You promised
Please just pick up
I never meant to hurt you again
Please answer me
I never thought we’d be back to this place
I’m begging you to give me a chance
My heart hurt, and I knew I needed to make a change. I only hoped it wasn’t too late. I needed to believe in second chances. I needed to believe in Cole.
It had been quiet from Cole. Seven days of quiet.
I knew he was busy with everything going on, but I worried I’d screwed up our second chance before it even started. I wanted to make things right. I wanted to set out clear expectations for myself in writing so he understood that I understood what we were dealing with, which was that I was a sensitive nut. It was tricky trying to rekindle a relationship that had so much history and with that so much heartache.
But I didn’t want to miss out on the one person who made me happy. I wanted to let this go where it was meant to go, no matter how it ended.
I sat at my laptop with Pickles by my side and began typing my heart out.
Cole,
I wanted to put this in writing in case you ever ne
eded to remind me of some bad habits I’ve developed over the years. I know you’re busy tending to things that only Hollywood can conjure, but I wanted to tell you I’m sorry for not picking up the phone. Over the last eight years, I created a life that I love. It’s my own little bubble where not much penetrates it. In fact, you need to hop on a ferry to get here.
Anyway, I like the protection of my bubble. I like that I don’t have to let anyone into my bubble. It has kept me safe over the years and happy.
It’s not easy for me to imagine us working. I want to believe in the possibilities, but I’m afraid to let myself dream. I’m afraid to let you in my bubble.
That realization became painfully clear when I refused to pick up the phone. It was almost like I’d rather end what we had now than end it later when more was at stake. I’ve got hang-ups that yoga and breathing exercises don’t fix. (Long story. I’ll fill you in sometime). I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m sorry, and I’ll try to do better.
I’ll pick up the phone if you call, even if it’s to tell me you’re engaged again (kidding).
Only not.
What I’m trying to say is that I want you in my bubble… even if that means my bubble might burst some day, at least I had you in it.
Natalie
I stared at my letter and glanced at Pickles who nuzzled against my hand that rested on the send button.
“Should I do it?” I asked.
I took her silence as a yes and hit the send button.
This was a good exercise. It made me focus and get everything out in the open. I had no idea what to expect, but I felt good about it. I stood up and tickled right behind Pickles’ left ear. She didn’t seem to mind so I tried the other one, and I even got a purr out of her. Maybe things were turning around.
I walked out onto the sidewalk and began rolling in my carts of flowers, but an overwhelming sensation rolled through me. I stopped and glanced up and down Seaview Avenue. I didn’t see anything out of the ordinary, but something told me Cole was back in town.
Or maybe this time, I only wished he was lurking at the drycleaners or something, but he was actually firmly tucked into the hills of LA.
This was exactly what happened last time, thinking I caught glimpses of Cole at every turn. It was one thing to have it happen when you’re college age, but completely another to be seeing and hearing things eight years later.
But I kind of liked it. I glanced over my shoulder one last time and rolled in the last of my flowers.
“Hey, sweetie,” my mom called after me.
I turned around and sure enough there she was.
“So you haven’t returned my texts?” she asked breathlessly.
“Since when?” I asked, placing my hands on my hips.
“Since this afternoon. What’s the point of having a phone if you don’t answer your messages?” My mom’s hair matched mine in color, but she’d had it cut short recently. It was cute.
“Believe it or not, I work and you’re not the only one who texts.”
She closed the door and wandered over to the espresso bar, noticing a brownie.
“Do you mind?” she asked.
“Do you want me to heat the brownie?”
She shook her head. “It’s just fine how it is.”
I plopped the last brownie of the day onto the plate and handed it to my mom.
“So what did your texts say?” I asked, taking a seat at the table with her.
“Just wondering if you heard from Cole yet?”
I groaned. “No, mom. Haven’t heard from him since the last time you asked.”
“I feel awful.”
“You shouldn’t. I managed to do this one all by myself.”
“I’m sure you two will work it out.”
“We’ll see, but I did write him a letter and there shouldn’t be anyone to intercept it.”
She grimaced. “Point taken. Did you want me to proofread it or add my thoughts before you send it?”
“I think I can handle writing to an ex on my own. Besides, you haven’t had the greatest track record.”
“So what did you tell him?” She ignored me.
“That it wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be to let him in my circle again.”
“Makes sense.”
“And I was willing to risk getting hurt again.”
My mom’s brows furrowed. “Why are you so certain you’re going to get hurt.”
“The odds haven’t worked in my favor yet, and things aren’t looking so hot for the future either.”
My mom sat quietly for a few minutes eating her brownie.
“I think most of the hurt you hold in your heart is misplaced,” my mom finally said. “Cole didn’t do it to you. I did.”
“I can’t go around blaming my mom for something that happened over eight years ago. I’m thirty years old.”
“And I was over forty when I made a huge mistake involving my daughter. You know…this might come as a surprise but sometimes parents are wrong. We make mistakes. We screw up our kids. We screw up ourselves.”
“Well, don’t be too hard on yourself. I think you did a great job of raising Jewels and me.”
“Speaking of Jewels, has she gotten hold of you yet?”
I shook my head. “I haven’t talked to her for a week or so, why? What’s up?”
My mom’s expression fell.
“What?”
“She’s getting a divorce.”
It felt like the ground underneath us moved, and I grabbed the table to steady myself.
“She’s never mentioned a thing,” I said, completely in shock.
“Things aren’t always as they seem.”
“I can’t believe it.”
“What’s she going to do?” I asked.
“I think she might come back to Fireweed, but it’s too soon to know.”
I shook my head, feeling even more discouraged about the idea of love. I had at least held onto the idea that my sister had found it.
Was our generation just doomed? I needed to call Jewels.
“Did you hear that the old Warren place is up for sale?” my mom asked, bringing me out of my fog.
“Really? Why? I thought the Warrens were lifers.”
My mom chuckled. “They visited their daughter in Arizona and realized that the idea of sunshine in March wasn’t that bad of an idea.”
“The nerve. It’s a pretty place. Little out of my budget though,” I laughed.
“Great view.” I caught something in my mom’s expression, but I couldn’t place it. “You always loved that house. Remember?”
“I do. I used to think I’d make millions and buy them out of their place.”
“But I love my little place.”
“As do I. It’s perfectly you. I’d call your sister tonight. She hasn’t wanted to bother you and just keep me posted on this Cole situation. I feel absolutely awful.”
She stood up and hugged me.
“Don’t. Life’s too short. Besides, Sophie explained to me that I was lucky to have experienced that love at least once in my life since some people have never experienced it at all.”
“Smart woman.” My mom’s smile widened as she turned around and let herself out the door.
I sat staring at the empty brownie plate, hoping the crumbs would read like tea leaves. It wasn’t like I necessarily waited for Cole for the last eight years. I was busy building a business and enjoying friends. I did, however, know that what I had with Cole would be impossible to create with anyone else and spending twenty-four hours in bed with him only solidified that presumption.
I went to check my inbox.
Still empty.
“Someday, we’ll look at this situation and laugh,” Nick said, glancing at Sophie. “I mean a sex tape scandal? Come on. How great is that?”
“Imaginary sex tape,” Sophie chimed in before she took a bite of her burger.
I glared at them both and sat stewing in my corner of the booth.
We were at Norma’s having dinner, and I hadn’t heard one damn thing since I sent my email to Cole and that had been over a week ago.
But that was fine. I’d let him in my bubble, and apparently, I was too much to handle.
“At least the relationship went out with a bang,” Nick said, cracking himself up, and I couldn’t help but laugh.
“How long have you been waiting to use that line?” I asked, taking a sip of my wine.
“Too long,” Nick confessed.
“Well, I don’t think this thing between you two is over,” Sophie said.
“Well, I have absolutely no idea. I think after a couple weeks of not hearing anything, all signs do not point to moving forward.”
“Do you have any regrets?” Nick asked, squeezing ketchup onto his plate.
“You know? Not a single one.” I was surprised by my own admission, but it was true. I’d enjoyed every single second of having Cole back in my life over these last few months. “It has been a wild ride.”
“What if I said it wasn’t over?” Nick asked, dipping his fry into the puddle of tomato goop.
“What do you mean?” I asked, not following where he was going.
Granted, I was on my second glass of wine, and I’d taken an antihistamine so we were lucky I was even upright at this point.
Pickles had been a lot sweeter since this last incident with Cole. I think it was because she’d seen my side while I wrote the email. I think Pickles finally understood where I was coming from. She recognized the crazy in me and finally embraced it. However, that just meant my nose was plugged eighty percent of the time now, and my eyes wouldn’t stop tearing up because she demanded pets, but it was worth it to have a happy cat.
I sniffed in and glanced at Nick. “What are you talking about?”
“I’m just asking what if it wasn’t over?”
“What part?” I asked
“You and Cole?”
“I’d say it would take an act of God.”
“Or two best friends.”
I narrowed my eyes at Sophie and Nick, who both looked too giddy for their own good.
“Actually, it wasn’t really us. Cole reached out.”
We’d already paid and our server came over and took away the change.
“With what?” I whispered, leaning across the table. “And you’ve kept this from me, while I tried to make the best of things?”
Love Redone in Hidden Harbor (Island County Book 2) Page 19