Winnie held on to Alfie’s hand to steady herself. It wasn’t easy running on such loose ground in wedges. “Alfred, you’re not going nowhere…”
“What?” answered Alfie. He hadn’t come all this way for nothing.
“An old deserted mine!” Winnie exclaimed. “No, no, no. It’s far too dangerous. And as your social worker I have a duty of care…”
Alfie couldn’t hide his frustration as they finally reached the huge metal cage that housed the lift. “But if we don’t go after the Tooth Witch now, who knows what she will do to Gabz?”
He traced his hand over the old controls that were caked in a decade of grime, searching for a button that might bring the lift up to the surface.
“Come away from there, boy!” shouted Winnie. “This instant!”
Like most kids being told not to do something, Alfie pretended not to hear. Eventually he found the large green button which must call the lift. Jamming his finger on to it, he pressed and pressed again, but the lift didn’t make a sound. The power must have been cut off when the mine closed all those years before.
“See!” said Winnie. “There is no way down. Now the best thing we can do is wait here while I call the police for help…” She fumbled in her lime green handbag for her phone.
“That PC Plank is useless!” said Alfie. “We need to rescue Gabz now!”
Using all his might, he slammed ajar the huge rusty metal door that opened on to the lift shaft. He peered down into the blackness. For all he could see, it could go down for miles. Alfie picked up a small discarded piece of coal, and dropped it. In his head he counted how many seconds until he heard the thud of it hitting the bottom.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven…
It must be hundreds of metres down.
“Come away from the edge, boy!” shouted Winnie, pulling him back sharply by his hand. Alfie shook her away, and took several paces back from the shaft.
“Oh, thank goodness…” said Winnie with a relieved sigh. Little did she know that Alfie was actually taking a run-up. As the social worker was busy tapping a number into her phone, Alfie ripped out the insides of his trouser pockets and put them over his hands to use as makeshift gloves.
“It’s ringing…” announced Winnie, as she held the phone to her ear.
Just then Alfie sprinted forward as fast as he could. He took a running jump at the thick metal lift cable that was suspended from the top to the bottom of the shaft. It was greasier than he had anticipated. At first Alfie panicked, he couldn’t get a grip, he started sliding down it nearly as fast as if he were falling. For a moment, he thought his short life might be over.
“Aaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!!!!”cried Alfie.
“Noooooooooooo!!!!!!!”cried Winnie.
As swiftly as he could, Alfie wrapped his legs around the cable and squeezed tight. Thankfully this slowed him to a stop. Using his hands, little by little he lowered himself into the mine.
“Come back!” yelled Winnie. Her voice echoed deep into the mine shaft.
It was too late. Alfie had disappeared into the dark depths below.
33
A Cathedral of Teeth
Above him, Alfie could see the square of daylight at the top of the shaft becoming smaller and smaller and smaller. As he slid further and further down, it eventually became nothing more than a tiny speck, no larger than a star in the sky. Now he was hundreds of metres underground. The muscles in his arms were tiring fast. There was no way he would ever be able to pull himself all the way back up. The only way was down. Eventually his feet touched something below him, though it was so dark for the life of him Alfie couldn’t see what it was. It was blacker than black at the bottom of the mineshaft. This is how dark it was…
Despite it being pitch-black, Alfie guessed that his feet must have touched down on the top of the lift car. No doubt it had been abandoned far underground and left to rot like everything else in the deserted mine. Stamping his feet up and down, Alfie heard the rattle of the metal telling him he was right. Groping with his hands, he eventually found what had to be an escape hatch on top of the lift, opened it, and leaped down inside. Pushing another huge metal cage door aside, Alfie noticed that far off in the distance there was a glimmer of dim yellow light. Immediately he could make out a few blurred lines amongst the shadows.
Stepping out, Alfie could feel the cold stone beneath his feet; he was in one of the hundreds of mine tunnels now. There were train tracks running along it. In fact, there were miles and miles of such tracks down here. The miners would have travelled along them to do their work, and sent the mountains of coal back in the mine cars. It was essentially a miniature railway line. With the whole place deserted, they seemed more like the tracks for a ghost train.
At the far end of the tunnel, light was flickering. Alfie walked towards it, slowly and silently. As he grew closer, and shadows danced on the damp walls, he realised this was not electric light, but candlelight. At last he reached the tunnel end, and realised it opened out into a well lit cave. He peered in.
Nothing could prepare Alfie for what he saw. The cave was vast; it seemed to go on forever. Thousands and thousands of candles illuminated the space.
At first glance there was no sign of Gabz, or the witch and her cat. Dominating the cave was an impossibly long table, but there were no chairs around it. It was white, and looked more like an altar you would see in a church. A plate and a number of goblets adorned the table. All of them white. There was a huge white chandelier hanging down from the ceiling. It held hundreds upon hundreds of candles. On the walls there were mosaics, in the shapes of what looked like prehistoric letters, or some kind of code. Alfie had seen something similar in pictures of the pyramid tombs of ancient Egypt, called hieroglyphics. On one side of the cave sat a huge imposing throne. This again was white. The throne looked big enough for a giant. It was so tall, it reached the ceiling of the cavern.
Was this some kind of temple?
Or a tomb?
Or simply a way of beating sky-rocketing house prices?
Tentatively, Alfie stepped inside the cave. He had to find Gabz, and get out of there fast. Running his fingers along one of the mosaics on the walls, looking for any secret doorways, Alfie realised the surface was surprisingly sharp. He cut the tip of one finger open on a particularly sharp bit, drawing blood, but managed to stifle his gasp just in time.
With the blood dripping from his hand, Alfie carefully made his way to the impossibly long table and peered underneath it. Taking a closer look at the table top, he realised the whole thing was made up of thousands of tiny fragments. What were they? Very gently he touched it; like the mosaics, it felt uneven and jagged. Intrigued, he picked up the goblet and held it close to his face, examining it in the candlelight. This too was made of countless of tiny pieces. Studying it, he finally realised what he was looking at.
The goblet was made up of hundreds of teeth.
Alfie dropped it in horror and it smashed to the ground. Bending down he picked up some of the little pieces. All of them were teeth. Children’s teeth. Just like everything else in the cave – the table, the throne, the chandelier, the goblet. Everything was made entirely of teeth.
The cave was a cathedral of teeth.
A Cateethdral*.
* * *
*Made-up word ALERT
* * *
Alfie wanted to scream at the realisation, but covered his mouth just in time. How many children in how many towns had suffered just like Alfie, to furnish the witch’s lair? It must have been thousands. Tens of thousands, even. Over many years. Perhaps even centuries.
Blinking, Alfie looked to the far side of the cave, where it was deepest in shadow. Squatting there was a huge sooty cauldron, as wide as a paddling pool but much deeper. As he tiptoed over, Alfie realised the cauldron was full of some foul-smelling, thick yellow gunk. A fire was raging underneath. The Tooth Witch was evidently cooking up her special toothpaste mix.
Just then
, Alfie thought he saw something moving in the shadows and looked up. Directly above the cauldron a girl was chained by shackles of teeth to some stalactites hanging down from the ceiling of the cave. “Gabz…?” he said.
“Alfie! Is that you?” she whispered. “I couldn’t make you out in the dark. I thought you might be the Tooth Witch coming back…”
“No, no, it’s me!” he said, drawing closer. “I am here to rescue you!”
“Well, you took your time!” she replied.
“Sorry, it’s just…” Alfie spluttered, before realising he was getting really quite annoyed with her never-ending sarcasm. “Look, do you want to be rescued or not?”
“Shush…” hushed Gabz. “Keep your voice down! The witch can’t be far away…”
“OK, OK,” whispered Alfie. “How am I going to get up there to untie you?”
“See if you can drag that throne over here…” she suggested.
“It looks heavy…”
“Well, the witch managed it.”
“Yes, but she’s a witch and has magical powers.”
Gabz gave him a stare, and he realised there was no point arguing. Alfie plodded over to the throne. At first he tried to rock it, but it wouldn’t move. Then he put his shoulder up against it. But it just wouldn’t budge.
“I’d better run to the bottom of the lift shaft and call up for help,” he whispered. “Stay right there…”
Gabz rolled her eyes. “Well, where else do you think I would be going to?”
Alfie tiptoed back to the opening of the cave. But just as he reached it he let out a scream.
The witch’s black eyes were staring right into his. Though her face was upside down. For a moment Alfie was so disorientated he didn’t know what was happening. Then he looked up to see she was hanging from the ceiling, like a bat. In her arms she held her cat, Fang, who hissed violently at him.
In that disturbing singsong voice of hers the witch said, “Now be a good boy, Alfie. Come to Mummy…”
34
Look to the Skies
“I knew you would come after us,” announced the Tooth Witch in a superior manner. As she spoke, Fang wrapped her tail around her mistress’s legs. “You just had to save your little girlfriend…”
“I told you before. She’s not my girlfriend!” replied the boy.
Now Alfie was himself chained to the stalactites, next to Gabz. His wrists and ankles were bound by the same manacles, made entirely of teeth. They were actually biting into his skin. It was as if the witch were a spider, and he and Gabz were nothing more than flies caught in her web. Of course, spiders are in no hurry to eat the flies they catch. They like to watch them suffer. The Tooth Witch was no different.
“Well done on your rescue plan…” said Gabz.
“You see, Gabz, that’s why I would never go out with you!” replied Alfie. “You are quite pretty but you are actually really annoying.”
“You’re the annoying one…” replied Gabz.
“Silence, the pair of you!” demanded the witch. “You’re both annoying. Getting in the way of my plan to steal all of the children of the town’s teeth…”
“Before you boil us, or whatever it is you are going to do,” began Gabz, “I would just like to know…”
“Yes, Gabriella, dearest?” the witch sneered.
“What is a Tooth Witch?” asked the girl.
“Yes. Tell us,” implored Alfie. “Prove to us you are real…”
“Still you don’t believe!” laughed the witch. “How old are you, boy? Eleven?”
“No, I’m twelve,” said Alfie indignantly.
“You look younger.”
“He is quite short for his age…” agreed Gabz.
“I am actually twelve and a half, nearly thirteen,” Alfie snapped.
“Well, children around your age,” continued the witch, “twelve and a half, nearly thirteen… you think you know it all. You suppose you’re too grown up for stories and myths and legends. You don’t want to believe in them any more. That’s why children like you are the easiest to catch…”
“All right, all right…” replied Alfie. “But what’s so special about teeth?”
The witch’s deep black eyes came flickering to life. “I covet them. Like diamonds or rubies. I have collected them for centuries. From all over the world. Moving on from place to place. Now I have settled here, and will not rest until every single child’s tooth in this town is mine!”
The Tooth Witch reached into her pocket, and held one up to the candlelight. “Rotten and decayed ones like yours, Alfie, are the most beautiful. Look at this one. It is perfection. With its gorgeous little nooks and crannies. Look how the light dances on its surface.”
“You’re nuts!” exclaimed Gabz.
“That’ll really help,” muttered Alfie.
The witch’s eyes narrowed. “If it is ‘nuts’ to desire teeth, why do the tooth fairies want them so much?”
“But tooth fairies aren’t real…” protested the boy.
The witch smiled. “Oh yes, they are. Annoying little do-gooders flapping all over the place. I think I managed to capture most of the ones flying around this town. They make a tasty treat for Fang here…”
The cat licked her lips.
“OK, so witches and fairies are real. What else?” mused Gabz. “What about Father Christmas?”
Alfie laughed at her. “Gabz! He’s not real!”
“Oh yes, he’s real all right,” replied the witch.
“Yes!” said Gabz triumphantly. “I win!”
“Father Christmas is actually quite a tiresome old codger…” continued the witch. “Going around wishing everyone ‘Happy Christmas’ all the time. And all those mince pies give him very bad wind. Just don’t stand behind him when he bends over to fill a stocking…”
Alfie didn’t want his dying thought to be Father Christmas blowing off, so he quickly moved on.
“But why do you need so many teeth?” he asked.
“So I can build my witch’s lair. Every day I need more and more. I have big plans…” The witch became quite animated now. “See that wall?”
The pair nodded.
“Well, I am going to knock through there, and have an extension built, so I can have one big open living space…”
Alfie and Gabz shared a look. They couldn’t believe they were chained to the ceiling of a cave listening to a witch’s rather tedious home improvement plans.
“You know collecting the teeth has become so easy…” the Tooth Witch continued. “Years ago, witches like me were caught, and drowned in rivers or burned at the stake. But children nowadays don’t believe in magic. They are forever watching TV and playing computer games. They never look to the skies any more. If they did, they would see my cat and me flying about the town at night, going from house to house. Fang here can smell a fresh tooth from miles away…”
The cat hissed in agreement.
“Then we fly down to the child’s bedroom window and, without a sound, fly in and snatch the tooth…”
“But why leave those horrible little calling cards behind?” asked Gabz.
The witch smiled. Her pointy fangs glistened in the candlelight.
“Because, child, I am evil. Pure unadulterated evil. That’s the really fun part! I put so much effort into those little gifts for the children. Finding the largest cockroach, flattening the toads with a mallet, keeping the pig’s eyeballs warm so they are still squirming…”
“You are sick!” shouted Alfie angrily.
“Thank you. And don’t forget twisted. Now, as much as I love compliments I am beginning to tire of our conversation rather…”
The pair gulped in unison. “What are you going to do to us?” ventured Gabz.
“This cauldron is where I boil up Mummy’s special toothpaste…”
“That stuff burns through stone!” said Alfie.
“Yes, the acid in there can destroy anything in its path. If I dunk you both in for just the right amount of t
ime…”
“If you dunk us in, then what…?” asked Gabz nervously.
“It will strip your flesh clean off you…” The Tooth Witch was savouring her words as she spoke, as you or I might savour a particularly delicious flavour of ice cream. “And all that will be left of you will be your bones…”
35
Feasting on Bones
“It is sure to be a slow, agonising death, children…” expounded the witch, “…exactly how I like them. Then I am going to feast on your bones!”
She looked down at her trusty white cat. “Guess what you are having for tea too, Fang?”
The beast’s ears pricked up, and she gazed into her mistress’s eyes.
“That’s right! Yummy scrummy children’s bones…”
Fang purred loudly.
Far off in the distance, Alfie heard an echo. The cat turned her head and hissed. The Tooth Witch cocked her head suspiciously, and then quickened her pace.
With her superhuman strength, she dragged the huge, heavy throne of teeth into position. Next she climbed up to stand on the seat, and started unfastening the chains that bound the children’s wrists. Both were now trembling uncontrollably with fear.
“I am going to drop you in the cauldron together,” announced the witch, “so you can hear each other’s screams as you die…”
“Just to say, I don’t mind if you put him in before me…” uttered Gabz, attempting a little black humour to try and lighten the situation.
“Isn’t it ladies first?” said Alfie.
Within moments, the witch had untied their wrists. Now the pair were hanging upside down, with the nasty, bubbling yellow gloop lapping at their heads. The noxious stench was so foul Alfie and Gabz could hardly breathe.
“Please, please, please, I beg you…” appealed Alfie now. “You can boil me, but let Gabz go free, she’s not done anything wrong…”
Demon Dentist Page 11