by Em Petrova
“Yeah, I have, and no, you’re not. I think most things can’t be spoken over the phone, and that’s where we’re lacking. We can only move on what we learn from listening or texts we intercept.”
“Why the hell don’t we have somebody in there undercover?” Jess passed a hand over his face and felt the cut on his brow break open again. Warm blood started to trickle down his cheek.
Sully glanced at him and tossed him a box of tissues from his desk. Jess took a few with a jerk of his hand and pressed them to his face.
“All I can say is we’re doing our part. You’re getting lots of good intel for OFFSUS, and you need to keep up the good work.”
“Bullshit,” he responded. “They’ve got me on the losing end of a battle, and the shit I hear isn’t enough to give us information on the next attack that kills a hundred people.” All Jess heard on these calls was that Moreno was a decent father and friend. He loved soccer, his kids…
And maybe helping to blow up his friends.
“Keep on it, Jess. But don’t be afraid to speak up when you need a break from it. You can’t get too close.”
He pushed out a breath. “Hazard of the job. I’m fine. Thanks for informing me about Ortiz’s death. I’ll see what I can find out.”
“Get some stitches in that cut.”
He removed the tissue wad from it. “I’ve got medical super-glue at home that’ll take care of it. See ya later, Sully.”
The entire drive home, Jess replayed the conversation with his commander as well as the intel. Ortiz killed while Fernandez and Moreno, his friends, sat in church? They were no saints themselves, and it would be a good alibi if pressed for one.
It raised more questions on Moreno too. Was it fucking possible the man was colder than Jess thought him to be? So duplicitous that he would have given warm wishes to his friend just hours before he assisted Fernandez in leaving Ortiz mangled, his face nearly unrecognizable?
There was little Jess could have done.
He grunted. Sure, he told himself that, but did he buy it?
He went into his condo and threw more dirty clothes onto the pile in his bedroom. Bare-ass naked, he walked into the bathroom and turned the shower as hot as it would go. His ribs still ached, and the new cut stung like a bitch when it got wet, but he let the water flow over it for long minutes to clean out the worst.
When he stepped from the shower and dried off, he saw a text flash up on his phone. He groaned. It better not be Sully again. He’d never admit it to the man, but he needed a damn break.
He plucked his phone off the sink and read the message, heart launching upward before sinking again.
The bungee cord effect he’d come to expect from any interaction with a woman he enjoyed being around.
It was a text from Avery.
Do you have time to meet and talk? I could use an ear.
Shit. What was even happening with her review? He hadn’t heard a peep about it, and he’d respected her wishes and hadn’t gone digging for information.
He thumbed his reply. Name the place and time and I’ll be there.
He hoped that didn’t sound overly eager. And fuck it if it did. He was finished trying to think ahead about what women wanted. Avery was just a friend asking for someone to listen to her.
So far, she wasn’t like the other women he’d been with—who liked the way he looked and asked for the dangerous sex to match his muscles, and then they left when he finally let them close enough to learn that danger was his life.
Avery wasn’t asking for anything more than probably coffee and a discussion about her internal review.
She replied with a time and place, and he grabbed a clean shirt off the top of his dresser. Part of him wondered if he should clean up his bedroom, change the sheets and do his laundry in the event he did get lucky enough to bring Avery home.
The other part said fat chance and ignored it. He finished dressing, ran his fingers through his wet hair and managed to get his cut bleeding again.
Damn, he’d forgotten about the glue. He went back to the bathroom and dug the first-aid kit from under the sink. A couple minutes later, he was patched up and ready to rumble once more.
His libido had thoughts of a roll in the sack with the beautiful and tough Avery Aarons. But that wasn’t going to happen. Most he could hope for was that she’d be wearing those sexy yoga pants again.
* * * * *
Avery rested her hands on the tabletop to keep from clenching them into fists. Outside the coffeeshop window, street traffic was at its peak of the day as people went about their normal activities. Work, lunch break, work, then home to their families.
Avery didn’t have any of that. Right now, she only had her fury and a tall latte before her and Jess staring at her with the same expression she wore.
She was pissed, and the fact he was on her behalf just let her know she really wasn’t losing her mind.
“So you think all this is a shit show too?” she asked again.
He nodded. “You’re being investigated for discharging a firearm on a man who reached for his waistband—and what you believed was a weapon. It should be cut and dry, since the guy also has a history of weapons charges. Why are they digging into your past now?”
She pushed out a breath. “There’s more.” She’d shared the campus attack with Jess, because the board had thrown it in her face this morning, saying she needed a deeper psych eval as part of the investigation. As if she hadn’t already had dozens before becoming a cop. She’d checked out in all those.
Jess’s gaze remained fixed on her face, his own battered and worn with fatigue. What the hell had he been doing to get that deep cut on his brow?
“I’m listening,” he said.
She twisted her fingers together. “When I was ten, some guys broke into the house. I was alone, my parents out for the evening with friends.”
“Jesus, Avery.”
She swallowed against the emotion those two little words of sympathy and outrage raised inside her. “I’m over it, of course. I had counseling afterward and moved on. But I feel as if the board is trying to say I’m seeking revenge on all men because I’ve experienced two personal crimes in my lifetime. Actually, one of the guys suggested that I really saw that guy in the parking lot as the same one who broke in and terrified me as a child.”
Jess leaned in, eyes flashing. “That’s what he said to you?”
She nodded. “Somebody did some deep digging to unearth that little tidbit from my past.”
“Fuckers,” he said under his breath.
She nodded. “I’m sorry to throw this all at you. It’s my problem, not yours.”
“Avery, there are things I can access… look into for you.”
What exactly did Jess do for a living that he’d have access to classified files?
She bit her lip, wondering if letting him investigate would help her in any way or just get her badge melted down into scrap metal.
“Say the word, and I’ll make a call,” he said.
“Thank you. I’ll think on it.”
He gave a single nod, the masculine move shifting her attention away from herself and the mess she was in. “Are you okay? What happened to your face?”
He lifted a shoulder and let it fall. “Ran into a rifle butt.”
“Hell.” Okay, really, what did he do for a living?
Sipping his coffee, he just looked at her. The man was all secrets while she was an open book. She was embarrassed by her blabbering.
“I’m fine. Listen, Avery, do you have someone on your side during this review process? A neutral party who can fight for you?”
“Yes. Plus there’s evidence from the security camera footage as well as a witness who was coming out of the store when I pulled the trigger. He gave a statement that he believed the man to be reaching for a weapon as well.”
Jess set down his cup and rested a hand on the back of her knotted ones. The touch was so brief, a skimming of warm, rough flesh over hers. Her
gaze flew to his.
She opened her mouth to thank him for being a friend when she needed it most, but suddenly a young girl stepped up to the table. She was dressed like any youth, in jeans and a graphic T-shirt with a flannel tied around her hips. She looked nervous, though, chewing at her lip.
Jess looked up and something passed over his features, wrecking the neutral façade Avery was used to seeing. Then it was back in place just as quickly as it had fled.
“Uh, Jess?” the girl said.
He gave a forceful clearing of his throat. “Hi.”
Was it Avery’s imagination, or was that single word heated with emotion?
“I thought that was you.”
“Are you here with your mom?” He turned in his chair to face the girl.
She nodded. “I had a doctor’s appointment, so we ate lunch before she takes me back to school.”
He nodded. Nothing special, just a nod. But Avery could swear the tension in his muscles was building underneath that army-green T-shirt he wore.
“I hope you’re not sick?” he asked.
“It was just a checkup.” She looked even more nervous. “Um, I have something I wanted to ask you. I have to do a project on a family tree. I was hoping you could help me.” She darted a glance at Avery for the first time.
Avery gave her a gentle smile in return.
She flicked her attention back to Jess, who’d inched to the edge of his seat as if ready to spring up. “Will you help me?” she asked.
“Of course I will, sweetheart. A family tree. I can do that. I’ll… get with your mother about giving you the information. Does that sound okay?”
She nodded. “Thanks, Jess.”
He swallowed hard. “I’m happy to help.”
Avery watched the young girl move back across the coffeeshop to a woman who must be her mother. They shared the same warm brown hair color.
Jess was still, gripping the edge of the table as he watched her walk away. His knuckles whitened.
“Jess, are you all right?” Avery asked in a quiet tone.
He swung his stare up to hers, and it took a second for his eyes to clear with recognition.
“You seem far away,” she noted.
“Yeah.”
“A family tree project. Is that your niece?”
“No.” His green-and-gold eyes closed off as a mist clouded them. He dropped his stare to the table and his fingertips dug into the wood. “No,” he said again in a thick voice. “She’s my daughter.”
* * * * *
Jesus Christ. She was so grown up.
And he’d just been sucker-punched in the goddamn gut.
Avery was still and quiet, watching him while trying to appear not to stare. His food suddenly went from something gourmet to rotten slime on his plate, and when he raised his coffee to his lips, it had gone cold.
What the hell did he even say now? How did a man who hadn’t seen his daughter since she was ten act normal?
When Avery reached across the table and placed a hand over his, he looked up into her eyes.
“I’m sorry for my behavior. I think I’m going to cut our lunch short.”
She nodded and stood when he did. She dumped her half-eaten food in the trash the same as him and followed him outside, still clinging to her paper coffee cup.
They walked for a bit, and he didn’t see anything except his kid’s eyes, the same damn color as his own. It might be the only fucking link to her he had.
Except now she wanted help—with a family tree project. Only he had about as much knowledge of his family as she did, namely his father’s side.
Next to him, Avery walked along, silent and unexpecting. It wasn’t a quiet that made him feel he had to ramble on or tell his story. It was just… comfortable.
He turned to her suddenly and let out a humorless chuckle. “You must think I’m crazy.”
Her brows rose, the perfect arches drawing more attention to how beautiful her eyes were. “And here I thought you must think I’m crazy, telling you about my past traumas and how they could result in me never getting back my badge. At least I didn’t tell you that I’ve always felt fate is coming for me, that I’ll die by some violent crime.” She clapped a mocking hand over her mouth. “Well, there it was.”
He gave a rueful chuckle. Rubbing his fingers against his sore jaw, he said, “We make quite a pair.”
“Look, Jess, you’ve got my number.”
“You’ve got mine.” He slowed his pace as they reached where his truck was parked.
“Oh great—you’ve got a parking ticket.”
He saw the envelope tucked under his wiper blade. He removed it and tossed it into his truck. It landed on the floor of the passenger’s side with about thirty others.
Avery peeked in and saw this. A bemused smile crossed her face. “You looking to get arrested for not paying parking tickets?”
“I’m not worried about it.”
“I see.”
“No, you don’t. You can’t, because I haven’t been straightforward with you. Look, I’m going to go home and take care of some shit. Next time we get together, maybe I’ll tell you my life story too.”
Her smile softened. When she turned her almond-shaped eyes up at him like that, he had the overwhelming urge to lean in, cup her face and kiss her. His insides clutched at the thought.
“Deal. Next time, we’ll make it dinner.”
“You’re on.” He shot her what smile he could muster before grabbing her hand and giving it a squeeze. “Later, then.”
“Later,” she echoed in his same tone, which gave him a chuckle before he got into his truck. When he pulled away from the curb, he glanced back to see Avery continuing on, walking to her own vehicle. Part of him felt bad for not seeing her safe to her car, but she could handle herself if a situation arose.
His brain settled on his daughter. Madison was fourteen now, a true beauty like her mother, who had turned his head back when he was young, dumb and full of cum. But fact was, the moment he’d learned about the baby, he’d asked Jenna to marry him. Of course, her answer had been no, and ten seconds after that, she’d dumped him.
That fateful day had kicked off a series of explosions surrounding each and every one of his relationships. The curse had begun there, but the true curse, he’d come to realize more and more as years passed, was not knowing his own child.
Now her hair was so long, her body filling out into those curves that a dad should get out a shotgun to defend.
And she’d called him Jess—not Dad.
His stomach cramped with the pain of that. God, he should have fought Jenna for partial custody. But fact was, his shift work over the years would have made shared custody damn difficult to plan. And a kid needed routines, which he wasn’t able to offer.
In the end, he’d agreed to stay out of Madison’s life so as not to confuse her, but she knew who he was, recognized him enough to pick him out in a crowded coffeeshop.
A seed of hope bloomed in his core. Maybe, just maybe, this project was a cracked door between them. He could use the opportunity to close that door or fling it wide.
She was older now, would understand why her father wasn’t around as much because of his work. He could take time for her between missions.
Throat tight with emotion, he mentally listed the people he knew off the top of his head on his branch of the family tree. His momma, maternal grandparents, brothers and their wives and children. An aunt who lived in Rehoboth Beach and her husband who was a lifer in the Air Force.
By the time he reached home, he was ready to dig into the ancestry research, but instead he came up against a brick wall when Colonel Downs ordered him to tune in and listen to the latest phone conversation between Moreno and a man he likely shouldn’t be speaking with—if he wanted his kids to have their father.
* * * * *
“Let’s go! And one… two… three… jab… four!”
The kickboxing class instructor shouted the moves, but Avery barely
heard them. Her body was a machine, moving automatically with all the energy and fight she had, even as her mind wandered.
Okay, wandered didn’t exactly describe it—her brain was a hitchhiking hippie free-bird. Roaming from one topic to the next, she’d touched on the internal review and what the board might be digging up about her right this minute, to the officer who’d replaced her and how he and Reggie were getting along. Reggie didn’t welcome a lot of chatter while on duty. He liked to concentrate. And since Avery wasn’t someone to just speak for the sake of hearing herself, they got along fine.
Then her doomsday way of thinking would kick in and she’d wonder what job she could do if they really did take her badge forever. She couldn’t picture herself as anything but a cop.
After that, she contemplated moving out of state, but she was a Texas girl at heart.
Which brought her back around to the question of why she felt connected to a state where she had no family. Her mother and father had moved to the Florida Keys, and she had no siblings or even a boyfriend to hold her here. Hell, all her friends were in the force and if she was kicked out, she wasn’t likely to be invited to holiday parties or backyard barbecues.
She jabbed to the right and to the left. The uppercut felt damn good, the roundhouse kick better. Her muscles burned, and after another half hour, cramped. Sweat rolled off her, and that increased as thoughts of Jess pooled in her mind.
The look on his face when he’d seen his daughter… God, Avery had seen big men tear up before, cops at funerals for their fallen brothers, but somehow on Jess, it had only made her interest in him grow.
She’d gone from being attracted to the man and thankful for his friendship to wanting… more… all in the scope of five seconds.
He didn’t seem to be interested in her that way, though. He’d never made a move on her and didn’t send her flirty texts despite him having her number. Perhaps he was still involved with the child’s mother or hadn’t gotten over her.
Funny how Avery felt she knew Jess in many ways but at the same time knew nothing at all.
Fact was… if Jess came anywhere near her apartment, she’d ask him to come in. And spend the night. And share breakfast.