Stirred

Home > Other > Stirred > Page 13
Stirred Page 13

by Nancy S Thompson


  He nodded. Of course he knew that. Anyone would’ve done the exact same thing. And yet, there was no consoling him.

  “I’ve often recounted my steps along the way, how I could’ve done something different with Hayley, so that she didn’t feel so abandoned and betrayed. Ultimately, that’s why this happened. She felt I deceived her when I took her to that clinic. That’s when everything changed. I saw it. And I knew something was different, that I’d altered the course somehow.”

  I shook my head. “No, Sean. It started and ended with her illness. I find it hard to believe that Hayley or anyone in her family didn’t know she was ill, that something wasn’t right. Bipolar affective disorder is not something that suddenly starts one day out of the blue, and there’s a strong hereditary component, up to eighty percent in most cases. There’s also a likelihood she knew of her illness and was under treatment, but, like many patients, was not compliant and refused to take her meds. It sounds like she experienced more mania than depression. Many sufferers often prefer to risk the lows just so they can experience the highs. What she did because of her illness is in no way your responsibility.”

  He locked eyes with me. “I should’ve just taken her home after meeting with the counselor. Or I should’ve walked away when she first started to slide. I should’ve remained on task with school and not even gotten together with her in the first place. My involvement with Hayley led to Robbie’s paralysis. No matter at which point the origin lies, I’m always there. It’ll always be me.”

  I sighed knowing I’d never be able to change his mind. So I took a different tack. “And what about Robbie?” I asked. “Does he blame you?”

  Sean looked at me like I was crazy. “He’s barely four! Of course he doesn’t blame me. He doesn’t know any better.”

  “Oh, so he doesn’t know what happened to him, why he’s in a wheelchair?”

  Again, that look. “He’s a smart kid, Eden. He knows he’s different from everyone else. He’s asked why, and we told him the truth. Not all of it, of course; he’s too young. But he knows what happened in the accident.”

  “And what does he say about that?”

  With a shake of his head, Sean shrugged and turned his attention to his feet. “He says I saved him. That I’m Superman.” He snickered. “Shit, is he ever gonna be disappointed when he figures it all out.”

  “Figures out what exactly?” I asked. “That a girl went crazy and he got caught in the middle, or that you saved him from dying the most agonizingly painful death imaginable?” I scooted closer and sat beside him, my back to the desk, as well. I nudged him with my shoulder. “I know Robbie. I’ve seen him five days a week for over a year now. He’s a happy, well-adjusted, little boy. He always has a smile on his face and a silly or kind word on his lips. He’s smart and capable, and never really gives his disability much thought. He doesn’t know any other way, Sean.

  “For as long as he can remember, he’s always been this way. He doesn’t comprehend what you think he’s missing. He believes—no—he knows he’s just as good, if not better, than any other child out there. Thinking you’ve ruined Robbie diminishes him, detracts from every single one of his accomplishments, minimizes him to somehow less than—a victim, helpless, damaged and incomplete. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. Robbie is the joy he is because of you, not despite you. He loves you, Sean. I could see that when you picked him up today. And you love him. That’s obvious, too. Don’t victimize him by thinking you’ve ruined his life. His life is good. He is blessed.”

  Sean sat still for a moment, then nodded, albeit grudgingly, but I think he understood and agreed with my observations. He smiled slightly and tilted his head toward me. Our eyes found each other, and there was an unspoken truce of sorts.

  “So now you know I’m a little fucked up. And here you are, making me see the light. How can you think we aren’t good together, Eden?”

  I smiled at first. Then I chuckled. “You are tenacious, Sean Bennett.”

  His eyes sparkled, and his smile grew wide. “Say that again.”

  “Say what?” I asked.

  “My name. I love it when you say my name, even when you’re angry. Maybe even especially when you’re angry,” he said and leaned over, as if he meant to kiss me.

  But I pulled back. “Slow down, you. I think—if we’re gonna explore whatever this is between us—that we need to move slowly. Get to know each other a little first.”

  He looked downright offended with his mouth ajar and his brow pulled low. “I’d say, all things considered, you know me pretty damn well.”

  “Well, Sean Bennett,” I started and grinned when he nearly purred in satisfaction. “I’m a bit old-fash—”

  “No way,” he argued. “You’re the furthest thing from old. You’re the sexiest, most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen, of any age.” He continued to smile, but it changed from playful to seductive, that light in his eyes glowing brighter than I’d ever seen before.

  I just sat there and stared into those warm depths, feeling like I was swimming in an ocean of delicious, melted dark chocolate. It was comforting and alluring at the same time, and I was suddenly worried I would never be able to get enough, let alone tire of him and move on.

  “Okay,” he finally relented. “We’ll do this your way.” He shifted onto his knees and faced me. “Eden, would you please go out on a date with me?”

  My brow shot up. “A date? Like…a real date-date?”

  He nodded. “Yes.”

  I shook my head, but only slightly. “I don’t know. That seems a little…risky, don’t you think?”

  He got serious, like he was trying to figure something out. Then he pointed at me and said, “I’ve got just the thing. It’ll be casual. Nowhere near here, so no one we know will catch us together. It’ll be fun. Relaxed. Adventurous. How does that sound?”

  “Hmm. And the dress code?” I asked.

  He bit his bottom lip as he studied the ceiling overhead. “Jeans,” he said with a peek at me and his signature sexy grin. “Or else I might be tempted to…well…you know.”

  My face heated with the memory of the last time I’d worn a short skirt in his presence.

  He chuckled. “Tight ones preferably,” he added with another grin. “A t-shirt is fine, but bring a warm sweater since we’ll be outside most of the time. And, while I love those long, sexy legs of yours in sky-high heels, for this, I recommend comfortable shoes.” He winked at me. “But bring an intrepid spirit. This will be unlike any date you’ve ever been on before.”

  Just the thought set my heart racing. “I think I can handle that, Sean Bennett.”

  This time, he nudged me with his shoulder. “Oh, Ms. MacLaird, I assure you, there will be far more than you could ever handle.”

  With a girlish giggle, I shook my head. “Promises, promises.”

  With worry niggling the back of my mind, I agreed to exchange cell numbers with Sean. I prayed he’d be discreet. The tautness of my nerves served only to intensify my excitement when he began to text me. They were brief messages at first—he missed me, was thinking about me, wished he could wake up next to me. It didn’t take long, however, for his fervor to tick upward, and soon those brief messages turned into long, comprehensive missives of his fantasies, of what he wanted to do to me physically, which he shared in blistering detail, each and every one.

  His words sent titillating images skittering through my mind and set my face ablaze, my heart racing—what he wanted to do with his fingers, the way he’d work my flesh beneath them, where he was going to put his tongue, and how I would feel when he did, not to mention what he planned on doing with a certain part of his anatomy, that part that both terrified and aroused me beyond reason. Even alone, I blushed when I recalled it—his size, the shape, the feel—as he slipped inside, stretching and filling me. Like nothing I’d ever felt before. Not like that. Never, ever like that.

  Sean was every woman’s carnal dream-come-true. Young, sexy, and confident, with d
ark eyes and messy hair. A tall, lean body sculpted to athletic perfection. Lips that made my flesh ripple with goosebumps. And large hands with long, dexterous fingers. He was like a classically-trained concert pianist, and I his finely-tuned instrument, each key a different part of me, begging to be stroked by an expert and singing like a nightingale when he did. He made me realize what I’d been missing all these years with Declan. I’d told myself Declan was enough, but now that I knew what was possible, I realized how completely deluded I’d been.

  Christ, Sean Bennett was literally a fucking wonder.

  At first, I was embarrassed when I read Sean’s messages, but, after each one, I grew more and more inflamed, until my excitement for our impending date began to overwhelm me. At work, I’d catch myself staring blindly out the window, as had several of my employees and teachers when they’d knocked at my office door, unable to gain my attention. And at home, I went through the motions—cooking dinner, washing dishes, cleaning house—only to realize I’d been stirring the same pot, scrubbing the same plate, or vacuuming the same spot for minutes on end. I couldn’t even concentrate enough to write.

  After each text, I’d remind Sean that he’d agreed to go slow and get to know me. He joked that he’d go slow, all right, that he’d drive me to the edge of insanity with how slow he was going to work me. Of course, my face heated at the thought. Sean then added that he probably knew me better than any other man alive, including my husband. I was ashamed to admit he was right.

  I repeatedly attempted to refocus our conversations, steering him back to our upcoming date. “Where are you taking me anyway?” I asked during a rare phone call, surprised at how anxious I was. Though we’d shared hundreds of text messages, it’d been well over two weeks since I’d last seen him.

  “It’s a surprise,” he said.

  “Come on, just tell me,” I urged.

  But he wouldn’t budge. “I will tell you one thing,” he said. “I absolutely guarantee you’ll love every minute.”

  I chuckled. “I don’t doubt that. So when is this big date anyway?”

  “When’s good for you?” he asked.

  I opened the calendar app on my phone and scanned over the upcoming week. “Will next Saturday work? Declan’s leaving on business late Friday night, though I seriously doubt the validity of that.”

  “All the more reason to have a little fun of your own, Eden,” Sean insisted, and I couldn’t agree more. “I’m looking forward to Saturday.”

  “Where should I meet you?” I asked.

  “Oh no. This is a real date, remember? I wanna do it right, the old-fashioned way. So I’ll pick you up at your house.”

  My nerves jangled, tight as ever. “Oh, no, I… That’s way too dangerous.”

  “Why? Will your son be home?” he asked.

  “Um…no, actually, he and his girlfriend are taking a college tour out in Pullman, so they’ll be gone for the weekend.”

  “Perfect! I’ll pick you up at nine a.m. I’ll be quick so no one sees.”

  “Nine? Really? Why so early?”

  “Because I want you all day.”

  His voice grew husky, making my face burn yet again.

  The days until our date dragged on, seemingly endless, at least for me. When pick-up time arrived at the end of each school day, I was disappointed Robbie’s mother drove up in her custom-fitted van rather than Sean. Silly, I knew, but the anticipation of seeing him had me wound up tight as a drum. I was seriously beginning to question my own sanity at allowing myself to become so emotionally vested in what I was sure would only lead to either disappointment when I was forced to end it, or outright disaster should Declan ever get wind of our affair. Then, with a curse at Declan’s black heart, I recalled the scene at Aurelia’s house and decided I couldn’t care less if he found out.

  There was a part of me that hoped he did, so he could feel what I felt. Then I remembered I’d only felt resentment for not feeling much of anything at all. I wondered if Declan would react the same, or if he’d be angry at my betrayal, even though it would likely only mean he didn’t take kindly to someone else poaching what he felt belonged to him. However Declan might react, I was sure it wouldn’t feel good, and while the ramifications scared me, the deepest part of me wanted Declan to hurt at the ruination of our marriage like I did that night at Reely’s.

  God, Reely… I hadn’t spoken to her in the weeks since I’d caught them together. We’d exchanged a few brief texts, with me explaining my recommitment to the school and having little free time anymore. When Aurelia twice suggested we meet for coffee at the very least, I’d reluctantly agreed, but then called and canceled at the last minute. For several reasons, I still wasn’t ready to confront her.

  First, I wasn’t sure I could hide the fact that I knew about them. Second, I knew Aurelia would notice something was off about me and would no doubt continue to badger and guess until she’d gotten it right. I was just too transparent, and Aurelia knew me all too well. So, no, it wasn’t worth the risk either way, and, truthfully, my resentment at Reely’s treachery had devolved into a bitterness bordering on pure hatred, and I was damn sure she’d notice that at first glance.

  Declan, however, didn’t seem to notice a thing, not that that was unusual. I’d spent the better part of the last ten years living in cool restraint, no longer caring what the hell Declan felt or if he cared at all. I’d simply kept up the charade. My only real concern was Ian. At seventeen, he was not only bright, but remarkably astute, though, with his current schedule filled with college tours and SAT exams, I couldn’t say for sure whether he’d seen a change in me. I wouldn’t be surprised if he had. My nerves were always on edge and pulled tight, and my cheeks seemed perpetually pink with the flush of anticipation. I could only hide so much. This was the one time I wished Ian was more like his father.

  Ugh! I couldn’t believe I’d ever have such a thought, but then I’d changed so much in the last month. My emotions were all over the place, my thoughts a disheveled mess, but while I dismayed at the disorder of my life, I couldn’t quiet the excitement, nor calm the erotic nature of the newly awakened sense of desire constantly surging through me. And honestly, I didn’t want to. For the first time in years, I felt truly alive, and though that came with an inherent risk, I was enjoying it too much to quash it. And why should I? If Declan could enjoy the benefit of a lover, so could I, and I would.

  That was precisely the frame of mind I was in on Saturday morning when Sean knocked on my door. I’d been hesitant to give him my home address, imagining all the things that could someday go wrong should he know where I lived, but, just as I’d done with all my other fears, I pushed it aside and tried to live in the moment.

  When I opened the massive wood and glass front door, Sean took a step closer, an eager grin on his handsome face. I noticed, for the first time, a single dimple on his left cheek. It was so attractive on him, I yearned to smooth my fingers over it, but, in an instant, it was gone as Sean’s eyes skated over me from my head to my toes then back up again. He breathed in a ragged breath and let it rush out as he locked on my face. He stared at me, silent and seemingly stunned. I smiled with all the furor of my emotions surely visible on my face.

  “Hi,” I greeted breathlessly, my heart hammering a crazy beat.

  Sean didn’t respond. He just stood there, staring, with a large, paper-wrapped bouquet of flowers in his hands.

  “Are those for me?” I asked then leaned forward and scooped them from his arms.

  Finally, Sean snapped out of whatever trance he’d fallen into. “Um…yeah… I mean, yes, they’re for you, of course.” He smiled, a flush of nerves creeping across his features.

  I’d never seen him embarrassed or flustered in any way. He was usually so self-assured, confident and cool. The thought I’d made him as nervous as he always made me caused a wave of delight to swell through me. I knew all too well he wanted me, but to see, clear as day, that there was more, that I affected him as he did me, brought a sense
of confidence I’d been lacking until now.

  “Come on in,” I invited with an immense grin. I couldn’t seem to help myself. “Let me put these in water before we leave.”

  I waved Sean in, and he followed me to the kitchen, his attention glued to me every time I checked over my shoulder. He didn’t seem to notice the house or the lake out back. His gaze held steady on me, until I looked away, my cheeks smudged with color.

  “Sorry for staring,” he said. “It’s just…even with all my daydreaming, you’re more beautiful than I remembered. That author photo of yours? It doesn’t even come close to capturing how insanely hot you are.”

  He stepped closer, and, once I finished arranging his gorgeous flowers in my favorite crystal vase, he took my hand and brushed a kiss along the top of my fingers.

  “What will your husband say when he sees the flowers?” he asked, his eyes locked onto mine.

  I snickered. “Knowing Declan, he’ll never even notice.”

  Sean’s gaze roamed over every inch of my face. “He’s an idiot for not seeing the beauty right under his nose.”

  He leaned in and pressed another kiss, this time to my mouth. His lips lingered until he pulled back just enough to gaze into my eyes again. Surely he must’ve read the passion there, because he closed the small gap between us, until our bodies touched and I felt his heat pulse straight through his clothing.

  I shut my eyes. That was all the invitation Sean needed, and before I knew it, he wrapped his arms around me, one pulling me in at the hips so I could feel the stiff heat of his desire. The other laced through my hair and hauled my face to his. He wasn’t gentle this time. He ground his mouth into mine, and his tongue swept across my lips, my teeth, then plunged in deep.

  My body quivered for a moment before melting into his, reveling in the dense feel of his muscles beneath my fingers. I couldn’t help my hands from sliding across his wide shoulders and down his well-defined arms, then brushing the chiseled dunes of his broad chest and sculpted abs. God, he was so perfect. Tall and wide at the shoulders, but long and lean at the waist, not one ounce of extra flesh on his masterfully-conditioned body.

 

‹ Prev