“Shut up.”
He frowned at her. “I’m just saying that if you want to leave…”
“I don’t want to leave!” she shouted with exasperation. “I want you to leave. I want you to get out of the house for thirty minutes and relax. We’re going to be fine. Trust me.”
“Olivia, you have not been here alone with them. It’s not easy.”
“Let me worry about that. I have more experience with kids than you do. Trust me, I was a champion babysitter. I can handle thirty minutes here without you. Especially when the reward is pizza.”
“Pepperoni?” She nodded. “Extra cheese?”
“Is there any other kind?”
He still didn’t feel good about it, but Jake knew better than to argue with her. “Okay, I’m going. But if you need anything, call me.”
Olivia pulled open the front door and gave Jake a final shove. “Go! In case you haven’t noticed, I get cranky when I’m hungry.”
“I’m going, I’m going,” he said as he walked toward the truck. He turned around and looked at her as she stood framed in the doorway. Something inside of him shifted. In a perfect world, this would be his night – getting dinner for his family and coming home to his wife and kids. Things didn’t always go as planned and for right now, he was grateful for what he did have.
He just needed to learn how to survive it.
****
Jake wasn’t the only one who needed to learn about survival. He had been gone almost forty minutes – she’d kill him! – and the babies were in near meltdown mode. Things had been pretty peaceful for the first twenty minutes, and then Maddie had woken up. Olivia had been thankful that they hadn’t woken up together, and she went about getting the baby girl changed and started heating up her bottle. Knowing that Ben wouldn’t be far behind, she started his, too.
Midway through Maddie’s bottle, Ben woke up. He was not happy to have to wait, and when Olivia placed Maddie down so that she could get Ben changed, Maddie started to cry. A pacifier helped Maddie quiet down for all of three minutes before she spit it out and went back to crying. Once Ben was changed, she placed him back in his carrier and ran for his bottle.
“This should be an Olympic sport,” she mumbled as she raced around finding burp cloths and getting situated back in the living room. With no other option, she placed both carriers on the floor at her feet and simply held both bottles for the babies and let them drink. Maddie was almost done and needed to be burped and when she took Ben’s bottle from his mouth so that she could lift his sister, he wailed in protest.
Scooting down onto the floor, she placed Maddie on her shoulder and awkwardly patted her back with one hand while carefully holding Ben’s bottle to keep him happy. “Thank God for Pilates,” she said as she felt herself twisted and turned in ways that were beginning to make her feel like a human pretzel.
And that’s how Jake found her. Her long hair had come out of its ponytail and she was on the floor seemingly surrounded by his babies and his gut clenched. Having Olivia in his home and around his kids was doing all sorts of crazy things to him, and if she didn’t look like she so desperately needed a hand, he would have enjoyed watching her for a little while longer.
Placing the pizza down on the nearest surface, he simply sat down beside her and reached for his son. “Thanks,” she said softly as she relaxed against the sofa and continued to pat Maddie’s back. Long minutes passed until both babies were back in their carriers and seemingly content. Jake positioned himself next to Olivia and mimicked her pose. “Not as easy as you thought, huh?”
She turned her head and looked at him with a weary smile. “I felt like they were ganging up on me.”
“They tend to do that.”
“I’ll remember that for next time.” While she didn’t want to move, the smell of pizza was too strong for Olivia to ignore. “Would it be completely inappropriate for us to just eat the pizza here on the floor? Would that be completely uncivilized?”
Jake chuckled as he stood. “Are you kidding me? This is the kind of stuff I live for.”
Olivia joined in on the laugh. “A man of simple taste; awesome.”
He was seated back on the floor beside her and opening the box before she knew it. “It’s not a matter of simple, more like a matter of lazy.”
As much as Olivia wanted to comment, her hunger won out. Reaching for a slice, she took her first bite and moaned in delight. The pie was halfway gone before either spoke again. “If this is how it feels to be lazy, then I’m all for it,” she said.
“Good thing you feel that way, because I’m telling you, with these two here, you’ll be eating like this a lot more than you ever thought you would.”
Olivia shook her head and finished another bite of her dinner. “It may seem that way now, but I think in a couple of days, a week tops, things will settle down. Before you know it, you’ll be eating at the kitchen table again like a grownup.”
“Being a grownup is highly overrated,” he commented and reached for another slice.
“Agreed.”
They finished their dinner in silence and when Jake rose to take the pizza box to the trash, he noticed that the babies were still awake and just watching them. “I can’t believe that they haven’t fallen back to sleep.”
Olivia stood and stretched. “Get used to it. They’re going to start being awake for longer periods of time, and then you’re hands are really going to be full.”
He paled again.
“You’re going to have to stop reacting like that,” Olivia said as she picked up the rest of their dinner mess and followed him into the kitchen.
“Like what?”
“Like you’re going to be sick. You do that every time I mention something new about the babies.”
“I’ll try to remember that,” he said wearily, “along with the ten-thousand other things you’ve told me today.”
She was all set with a snarky comeback when she thought better of it. Olivia didn’t doubt for a minute that she would be feeling exactly as he was if the situation was reversed. Then she realized how ridiculous that thought was and began to laugh out loud.
“What’s so funny?” Jake demanded, certain she was laughing at him.
Olivia wiped away the tears that were streaming down her face along with her laughter. “I was just imagining how I would probably be feeling overwhelmed too if it were me in your situation, and then I realized that there was no way that I wouldn’t be aware of having twins!” She burst out laughing again. “I mean, there is no way that someone can just show up and say ‘surprise, you’re a mom!’, because I’d have to be the one to give birth to them!” She bent over and continued to laugh.
“Yeah, that’s great. Lucky you,” he murmured and stormed from the room and went to check on the kids. They were just sitting and looking around at nothing in particular and for that Jake was relieved. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to handle another crying meltdown like he’d walked in on earlier.
In the background, he could still hear Olivia chuckling, and it irritated the hell out of him. He wasn’t sure why it did, but it did nonetheless. She might be able to find humor in this situation but Jake couldn’t. His entire life had been thrown upside down and on top of it, he realized just how badly he had misjudged Marilyn. What kind of woman simply walked away from her babies?
The kind that sells them for a lump sum.
While Jake had known for quite some time that Marilyn wasn’t the woman for him, he just couldn’t believe how wrong he’d been to consider marrying her. What had even attracted him to her in the first place? Sure she was beautiful, but didn’t he look for more than that in a woman? Or shouldn’t he look for more than that in a woman? With a sigh he ran a weary hand over his face. There were no real answers; the only thing Jake knew for sure was that it was going to be a hell of a long time before he’d be able to look for another woman to have in his life. Not just because he’d been burned by Marilyn, but because his focus had to be fully on his ki
ds. He was struggling enough with it right now, and he had a feeling that it was only going to get more challenging.
Olivia came and sat beside him. “I’m sorry.”
He turned his head and looked at her. “For what?”
“I shouldn’t have laughed, made that joke,” she said solemnly. “I’m not trying to make light of what you’re going through. I guess it was just a tension releaser or something. Either way, I’m sorry.”
He reached out and took one of her hands in his and almost jumped at the shock he felt at the contact. Willing it away, he gave a small smile. “You don’t need to apologize, Liv.”
“Clearly I upset you,” she said. “You have enough on your plate without me being a smartass.”
She had that right. “Like I said, you don’t need to apologize and I need to stop being so sensitive to everything. You’re here, helping me out, and for that I’m grateful.”
Something warm washed over Olivia. This was all a bit surreal to her, and while her brain wanted to keep her firmly in the present, her heart kept flashing back to the past. Why couldn’t she have been the one to attract Jake? Why couldn’t he have fallen in love with her and then these would have been their babies?
Quietly, she pulled her hand from his and put some distance between them. “They look like they’re starting to fade,” she said as she motioned toward the twins. “Why don’t we move them to their new bassinets and get them settled?”
Earlier, Jake had set the two little beds up in the master bedroom, and when Olivia lifted Ben, he followed suit and picked up Maddie. He still didn’t feel comfortable holding either of his babies; they were so tiny and fragile, and he felt big and clumsy with them. When he stood in front of Maddie’s bassinet, he looked at Olivia. “Now what?”
“Now you swaddle her up in one of the blankets and lay her down on her back.”
“Swaddle? What the hell is a swaddle?”
Olivia had already gotten Ben settled so she motioned for Jake to bring Maddie over to the bed and lay her down. She grabbed one of the receiving blankets and demonstrated how it was done. When Maddie was all snug and secure, she handed her back to Jake. “See? Swaddled.”
“She looks like a mummy.”
“Babies like to feel snug and secure. Trust me, she’s enjoying it.”
“But she can’t move.”
“She doesn’t need to move; she’s going to sleep.”
“What if it’s too tight?”
Olivia lifted the infant from his arms and placed her gently down in her bed. She left one small lamp on in the room and motioned for Jake to follow her out. They left the bedroom door partially open so that they could hear them if they cried. “Sit down,” she said to Jake.
He complied and looked up at her as she stood and began to pace the room. “You have got to stop arguing about everything,” she began. “I’m here to help you and yet every time I say or do something, you want to argue.”
“I’m not arguing; I’m trying to understand.”
She nodded. “And I get that, but you are wording everything like an argument.”
He stood and stalked over to her. “Look, in the last couple of days I have been thrown more than my fair share of curveballs, and I’m dealing the best that I can! I don’t need you telling me how I need to speak in my own damn house!” He knew that he was being loud and unreasonable, but he’d hit his limit.
Rather than shrinking back and apologizing, Olivia got right back in his face. “I’m not trying to tell you how to speak!” she snapped back. “I just know what I’m doing, and I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t question my every damn move!”
“Oh, that’s right; I forgot. You babysat like ten years ago, so that makes you the expert!”
Now she saw red. “I never said I was an expert, but at least I have some experience with babies and children, whereas you only seem capable of not being aware that you’ve even created them!” The look of pure shock on his face had Olivia realizing that she had seriously crossed a line. “Oh, God…Jake, I’m sorry. That was…”
He held up a hand and stopped her. “Just…don’t, okay? Don’t say a thing.” Without another word, Jake turned on his heel and walked out of the room. He didn’t stop until he made it out the back door and was standing in the middle of the detached two-car garage that he had converted into a workshop for the renovation.
His hands were shaking, and his breathing was ragged. He supposed he was due for a good breakdown and here it was. Grabbing the first thing he saw, he took the 2x4 and threw it against the wall and was gratified by the sound of it smashing and cracking.
Why him? Why now? Why had fate treated him this way? He was a decent person; he was a good friend and a good boss, and his life was fairly uncomplicated until now. Things may not have worked out with Marilyn, but he had been certain that there was a woman out there for him.
Or standing inside his home and probably calling him every name in the book.
That was another thing he’d have to deal with; his feelings for Olivia. If it hadn’t been for their age difference all those years ago, he probably wouldn’t be in this predicament right now. He had always been attracted to her; always wanted her. If she had been a couple of years older, he would have taken her up on whatever it was she was offering the night of her eighteenth birthday and run with it. For years he had tried to forget her, but he never could. She was always there in the back of his mind.
Of course that could be because her brother was his best friend, and therefore there was always a reminder of her right in front of him. But having her here with him now and having spent the day with her, he knew he was lying to himself. He’d always wanted her, and he was always going to want her.
And he still couldn’t have her.
Why? The age wasn’t a factor right now, but everything else was. His life was currently a mess, and Olivia deserved someone who could give her everything that she wanted. Jake had a feeling it would be years before he’d be able to give anyone other than Maddie and Ben any of his attention.
And then there was her career. Jake knew that Olivia’s photography career had her traveling all over the world taking pictures of the rich and famous and that her home base was in L.A. How could he compete with that? He wasn’t going to be traveling any time in the foreseeable future, and he couldn’t ask her to give all of that up so that she could play house with him. No matter how much he wanted to do just that.
So he’d have to keep his feelings for her to himself. Again. Forever. He couldn’t act on any of them, and he certainly couldn’t go around yelling at her simply because he was frustrated. Jake wasn’t sure what he’d do if Olivia chose to pack up and leave right now. He literally had no one to help him, and there was no way in hell he’d let his kids be raised by strangers. It was something that maybe no one else was able to understand, but it was his decision to make.
Unable to help himself, he chose another piece of wood and slammed it against the wall.
It wasn’t nearly as satisfying the second time around.
Chapter Four
Not sure what it was that she was supposed to do, Olivia went about organizing the rest of the purchases they had made that day. She had no idea where Jake went or for how long he’d be gone , but she couldn’t just sit still and wait; and there was no way she was going to chase after him. The man was entitled to a few minutes to himself especially after the week he’d had so far.
Placing the new baby clothes in the dryer – Olivia firmly believed in washing all of them first – she went into the bedroom to check on the babies. Sound asleep. She let out a sigh of relief and took a moment to simply savor the silence. Looking over at the bedside clock, she saw it was barely seven o’clock. Was that all? It felt like it should have been much later.
Tiptoeing from the room, she closed the door partially and then made her way to the kitchen to wash all of the new bottles they’d bought and get them filled and ready for the night and the next morning. Better to have
them prepared now so that no time would be wasted when the babies woke up hungry.
There was something soothing about the task. Olivia’s normal day consisted of running around barking orders at people and then having to deal with sometimes-difficult clients. The actresses were the worst; they were all spoiled brats, in her opinion, and didn’t take too kindly to the fact that Olivia didn’t ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’ over them. Olivia had yet to meet anyone that made her even want to ooh or aah, and being that she saw them all without makeup, she knew that it took a lot of work to make many of them look so beautiful. Without their makeup artists, they were no different than anyone else.
Certainly not ooh-worthy.
Carefully, she maneuvered an armful of bottles to the refrigerator and placed them on the shelf. Doing some quick math, she figured they’d have enough to get them through the night and the first bottles of the day tomorrow. By that point, Olivia knew she’d be more than ready to take on the task again.
With still no sign of Jake, she decided to clean the kitchen. It was obvious that between the renovations and the arrival of the babies, everyday housework had been put on the backburner. Her brother and Jake must have eaten a lot of takeout , because the trash was overflowing with paper bags and Styrofoam containers. She took the trash to the outside pail and then came in and washed all of the surfaces down before cleaning the sink. When she felt that the room looked and smelled presentable, she walked out, turning the light off behind her.
The living room wasn’t much better. Sure she’d been hanging out in there most of the time, but now that the baby paraphernalia was organized and put away, she realized that this room could use a good cleaning, too.
After another quick check on the babies, she found dusting supplies and the vacuum and went to work. At first she had been afraid of making too much noise but then figured that maybe it was better if Maddie and Ben got used to sleeping while there was noise going on in the house – especially if Jake was going to finish up the renovations on the second floor. Olivia didn’t know a whole lot about construction or home renovations, but she knew that it probably involved a good-bit of noise.
Baby, Be Mine (Life, Love And Babies Book 3) Page 4