“How do you know I have?”
Logan shrugged. “Heard about the talk you did for the high school kids.”
Erin felt a knot in her stomach the size of Montana. The last time someone with April mentioned his book he turned into an antisocial ass. The expression on his face didn’t change but that meant nothing. She had no clue what was going through his mind. This request could come under the heading of being bored and make for a very short evening.
That would be a shame. The batch of mac and cheese she’d made was probably her best ever and she would have to leave before having any.
“What do you say?” Logan stood his ground.
“Okay.”
The other man grinned. “I’ll set it up.”
“Let me know where and when,” Jack said.
“Count on it.” He looked at the food table. “I hope it’s time to eat because I’m going to crash it now.”
“Try the macaroni and cheese. It’s Erin’s best batch yet.” Jack smiled at the look she shot him. “What? Someone had to take one for the team and taste it. Just to make sure it’s okay for public consumption.”
“Comfort food. Yum.” April looked up at her fiancé. “Now I’m starving. Are you ready to eat?”
“Always.”
The four of them headed over and picked up paper plates and utensils before checking out the variety of food. Somehow potlucks ended up with choices to make a nutritionally balanced meal. Green salad, fruit, potato salad, macaroni and cheese. Everyone raved about it when they sat together at one of the tables. People stopped by to say hello.
Lucy Bishop was friendly and seemed to have forgiven Jack for his snit. Delanie Carlson, who was probably the first friend he’d made, sat and chatted for a while. Brady and Olivia O’Keefe talked to Jack about designing his new website. Maggie Potter and her fiancé, Sloan Holden, slid chairs over and stayed to visit. Aggie and Brewster Smith stopped to admire their costumes and ended up sitting with them.
The best part was that Jack never once made noises about leaving because he was bored.
Chapter Twelve
The party broke up just after midnight and Jack drove the jeep out of the community center parking lot. If this was a fairy tale he would be in a pumpkin right now. Kind of appropriate for Halloween. And it was conspicuously quiet on the passenger side of this pumpkin so he waited for incoming. Some form of I-told-you-so. It didn’t take long and he grinned when she cleared her throat.
“So, let’s debrief,” she began.
“Like a military operation?”
“Yes. Were you bored tonight?”
He knew one-word answers made her crazy and making this easy on her wasn’t his plan. “No.”
“At any point during the evening did you feel the urge to bail because you were not being intellectually challenged?”
“Does now count?”
“No. This is not bailing,” she informed him. “It’s called closing the place down.”
“Then no.” There was silence from the other seat. “What’s wrong?”
“I forgot the question.” She sounded a little tipsy.
“Then I’ll remind you. You asked whether I felt the need to bail because I was bored.”
“Right. Did you?”
“No.”
“Isn’t there something you want to tell me?” she asked.
“Many things.” He knew what she wanted to hear and wasn’t going to play.
“Don’t make me hurt you, Jack.”
He laughed. “Bring it.”
“Okay. Watching you tonight was like seeing a butterfly escape the cocoon.”
“Dramatic much?”
“It’s not drama if you’re dead serious. And I am. You opened up. Like peeling away another layer of an onion.”
“Metaphors must be on sale tonight,” he said wryly.
She ignored the jab and went on. “You were downright friendly in there. Could have knocked me over with a feather when you agreed to an interview for the paper.”
“I’m always friendly.”
There was a moment of stunned silence before she started to laugh. “Oh my God. That’s too funny. The first time we met I thought you were going to pick me up bodily and throw me off the porch.”
“I thought about it.”
“Seriously?”
“Of course not,” he said.
“Oh. I get it. That was to distract me, make me lose my train of thought before making my point. But I’m on to you.” She scoffed. “You were charming and funny tonight. People like you and you made friends. It’s a victory.”
“One skirmish. That’s all.”
“It was more than that. I saw the way women were looking at you.”
“Not interested.” Because none of them was her. The thought popped into his mind and blew up like an improvised explosive device.
“Okay. Maybe that’s pushing the socialization experiment too far.” There was a but in the air. Wait for it... “But you seemed to get along really well with the guys.”
“Seriously?”
“I’m always serious.” She was thinking. He could feel it.
“Let me list those guys for you,” she said. “There was the sheriff. Sloan Holden and his cousin, Burke. Maggie’s brother Brady. And don’t tell me you were putting up a front because this is me. I know you’re not that good an actor.”
“They seem like stand-up guys,” he admitted.
“And?”
“What?” He wished she would just drop it.
“Just tell me I was right and you had fun.” There was frustration in her tone.
“Now whose ego needs a jump start?”
“Jack—”
He laughed. “Okay.”
“So you’re glad you went,” she prompted.
“Don’t push it—”
There was a big sigh from her side of the car. “Why do you make it so hard? Why can’t you just give it up and admit that I was right? Would it be so bad to open up a little?”
“Because I’m a warrior, trained to resist.”
He was teasing, but the words stuck in his head and wouldn’t let go. Once burned, you pushed back and established a safe zone to keep from being hurt again.
Outside the Blackwater Lake city limit it was pitch-black without the commercial lights of town. There was nothing but darkness beyond the range of the jeep’s headlights. They were alone. She couldn’t see his face; he couldn’t see hers. And suddenly he wanted to tell her why he’d closed himself off.
“Do you remember when you asked me if I had a girlfriend or was married?”
“Yes. You said there wasn’t anyone.”
“Not now.” Except for the feelings rattling around inside of him for Erin and she didn’t fit into either of those categories. It felt like a lie to leave them unsaid, but that’s the only way he knew to protect her. “I was married once.”
“So, you’re divorced.” She wasn’t asking.
“I think that’s what ‘married once but not now’ means.”
He gave her a wry look and didn’t know whether or not she could see it in the dim interior.
“Right. Of course.” She blew out a long breath. “It’s just that was unexpected. More peeling of the onion. My comment was meant to encourage an exchange of information. And I’m officially babbling. Please feel free to interrupt me at any time and continue peeling the onion, so to speak.”
She made him smile, which was a minor miracle, what with the dark memories he’d voluntarily given up. “I met a woman in a bar.”
“Not a surprise. Apparently that’s where you meet all your friends,” she said dryly.
“She wasn’t a friend. Do you want to hear this or not?”
Jack gripped the steering wheel a little tighter. “It turned into a thing pretty fast. We got married before my first deployment. There’s something about facing danger that makes you want to have someone waiting for you when you get back.”
“How long were you married?”
“Ten years. But only because I was deployed a lot. When I left the army she left me.”
“I’m sorry, Jack. That must have hurt you a lot.”
The genuine sympathy in her voice touched him almost as if she’d put her hand on his arm. It was like healing salve to an open wound. “I’m over it.”
“Are you?”
“What does that mean?” Stupid question. He knew what she was getting at and was sorry he’d started this in the first place. “Never mind. My question was rhetorical.”
“Mine wasn’t. You have a point and I’d like to hear what it is.”
Jack slowed the jeep for a left-hand turn onto Lakeshore Drive. They were almost home. His home, not hers. She was temporary.
In a few moments the lights from the porch and the marina beyond came into view. He pulled up beside Erin’s rental car and parked. When he switched off the ignition there was an eerie silence.
Erin undid her seat belt and angled her knees toward him. “Jack? What is it you wanted to say?”
Without answering he released his own seat belt and got out of the car, then headed for the porch. Sounds behind him indicated she was hot on his heels. She caught up to him just as he unlocked the front door and opened it. Harley barked and bounded outside. He circled them, completely joyful that his humans had returned.
This human wanted to exfiltrate the situation ASAP. He pushed the door wider and started to walk into the house.
“Wait, Jack.” This time she did put her hand on his arm.
He wanted to strip off the leather jacket and feel the gentle touch on his bare skin. “Let it go. Trust me, I’m no hero.”
“Isn’t that for me to decide?”
Who was he kidding? From the moment she first showed up on this very porch she’d proven she wasn’t a quitter. There was no reason to believe that had changed. “You’re not going to let this slide, are you?”
“Not until you get to the point.”
“Okay. Don’t forget you asked for it.” He saw the concern on her face and it was too damn close to pity for his liking. Get this over with. “I was a teenage delinquent. Big disappointment to my mother. I was a crappy husband and my marriage was a bust. So I was two for two. And failure doesn’t sit well with me. My point is that I’m no good at relationships, so avoiding them is a win.”
“You only fail when you fail to try,” she said so softly he almost didn’t hear.
“Did you get that from a motivational seminar?”
“From my weight-loss support group, actually. But you were saying...”
“I’m only good at being a soldier. I don’t want to let anyone else down. The best way to achieve that goal is keeping to myself.”
“Cut yourself a break, Jack. Exercise those friendship muscles. Just do it. You might surprise yourself.”
He didn’t get her. He just didn’t. Anyone else would have given up on him by now. Thrown in the towel and said good riddance. But she was hanging in there and it was both annoying and astonishing. “Why is it so important to you that I insert myself into this town?”
“Because I don’t want you to be all alone when I’m gone.” Her gaze searched his face as she caught her top lip between her teeth.
The words were like an explosion in his heart and looking at her mouth tore his willpower to shreds. He wanted her more than his next breath and talking was optional. After pulling her inside and shutting the door, Jack took her in his arms and kissed her. He poured all the feelings there were no words for into the kiss...making it one eloquent kiss. Show, don’t tell.
Erin melted against him like chocolate left out in the sun. Or ice cream in the oven. He was right. A sale on metaphors tonight. A fire sale. This was a bad idea, but when it felt so good how was that wrong?
* * *
Jack tasted like pumpkin cinnamon spice—the cake he’d eaten at the potluck. His lips were soft, warm and full of temptation, but part of her was still resisting, right up until he tenderly freed her hair from the ponytail and let it fall over her shoulders. He wasn’t fooling around. Well, he was, in the best possible way.
When she stood on tiptoe and settled her arms around his neck, he put his hands under her butt and easily lifted her. She wrapped her legs around his waist and he headed for the hallway where the bedrooms were located. His? Hers? Erin didn’t care just as long as it had a bed. She kissed his lips, cheek, neck and earlobe.
The last kiss touched a nerve and he groaned, tightening his arms around her. “You’re playing with fire.”
“Do I have your attention?”
“Oh, yeah.”
He was breathing hard and she hoped it wasn’t the extra pounds that refused to budge from her thighs. “I’m too heavy, Jack.”
He stopped underneath the hall light and his eyes glittered with intensity. “Let’s get one thing straight.”
“If this is going to be a long discussion, you might want to put me down first. Your back will thank you.”
Very slowly he shook his head. “About that weight-loss support group you mentioned? Waste of time. You don’t need it.”
“Really?”
“Affirmative.” A slow, sexy smile curved up the corners of his mouth. “Your body is perfect.”
“Then you have pretty low standards. My legs are too short and—”
His mouth quickly and efficiently stopped the flow of her words and had warmth pooling in her belly. And then he was on the move again, turning right into his bedroom. He stopped beside the king-size bed and set her on her feet before sliding his hands to her waist. He pulled the white blouse from the waistband of her black pants. His fingers brushed the bare, sensitive skin beneath and a moan escaped.
It was like throwing kerosene on a campfire. She pushed at his shirt and her pink jacket ended up on the floor beside his black leather one. In ten seconds flat they were naked and he tugged her to him, settling his big palms on her rear end again. He lifted, letting her wrap her legs around him before bracing a knee on the mattress and gently setting her in the center.
The muscles in his arms and chest flexed, making her want to swoon, so it was a good thing she was already down. He reached into the nightstand drawer and felt around before finally pulling out a condom.
He frowned at her laugh. “Something funny?”
“Who knew condoms are like smoke detectors. You have one in every room.” She smiled up at him. “Not complaining, just saying...”
“You talk too much.”
“It’s a flaw. I’m working on it—”
His mouth silenced her for the second time as he kissed her thoroughly. By the time he moved his attention to her neck, then lower to her breast, she was too caught up in the delicious sensations to say a word.
Jack nibbled his way over her abdomen, hip and thigh until she was writhing with need, her body begging for release. He moved his body over hers, then thrust gently inside and she arched her hips to meet him. Her breathing grew more labored as he slowly moved in and out, taking her higher.
Without warning the tension inside her stretched and snapped, sending shock waves of exquisite pleasure thorough every part of her. She splintered into a thousand points of light and he held her until she came back together.
He rolled to his back, taking her with him so that she was on top. She rested her cheek on his chest, delighting in the way his heart thundered beneath her ear. When she shifted her hips against him, once then twice, he groaned and went still, wra
pping her tightly against him while he found his own release. They stayed locked together for a very long time.
The last thing Erin wanted to do was move. She’d never felt this safe with a man, not even with her fiancé before he got sick. That thought opened the flood gates and let the guilt flow unchecked. It also opened the door to all the things she didn’t want to face.
“I have to go—”
Jack didn’t loosen his hold. “Don’t leave on my account.”
The warmth of his skin and the security of his arms were intoxicating, like a drug she craved. All the more reason she needed to break the contact.
“Let me go, Jack.”
He brushed a big hand down her back before rolling over with her beneath him. Gently he touched his mouth to hers. “I’m going to get up—”
“Okay, then I can—”
He touched a finger to her lips. “I’ll be right back. I don’t want you to move.”
“Okay.” But she couldn’t look at him.
“Promise, Erin.” He nudged her chin up, just enough so that their gazes locked and he could see into hers. “Give me your word.”
Good grief he was stubborn. It was a strength and a flaw. Right up there with being too perceptive because she’d planned to make her escape. But clearly it was important to him that she didn’t.
She nodded. “I’ll stay. Promise.”
When he left her and went into the bathroom she felt exposed in so many ways. Pulling the sheet up over her nakedness only helped a little. Before she had time to blow everything out of proportion he was back and lifting that sheet to slide into bed beside her. Then he put an arm under her and folded her next to his warm body. It was a wonderful place to be.
“So, I was thinking—”
“Uh-oh. That can’t be good. You might want to shut that down ASAP.” She was joking. Mostly.
“Just hear me out.”
“Oddly enough, those words aren’t making me feel any better.”
“Keep an open mind.”
“Still not making me feel better,” she said, hoping he wouldn’t say whatever was on his mind. Somehow she knew it was going to complicate things even more than they already were.
A Word with the Bachelor Page 15