by Eric Vall
We arrived at the top of the staircase and walked into the main room of the castle.
As soon as we were on flat ground, Mephisto halted and gave me a light bow.
Your gratitude is appreciated, King Ralston. I promise I will do everything in my power to make you the most powerful Demon King in existence.
“I like the sound of that,” Eligor purred.
“So do I,” Cupiditas’ voice announced as she came through a nearby door.
“Me too,” Liby giggled and followed her Sister through the threshold.
“To think,” Ira cackled as she came around the corner of the staircase that led to the second floor, “I could soon be one of the women who’s fucked the most powerful Demon King in the universe.”
All three of the succubi strutted over to our position, and then they shook Mephisto’s hand one-by-one.
“So, you’re the Master of Whispers?” Libidine asked as she not-so-subtly tried to avoid staring at his mouth. “If you don’t mind me asking, how do you talk with your mouth sewn shut?”
You will find I am full of surprises, succubus.
The dark-haired woman jumped in shock before her eyes went wide and she stared down the demon in front of her.
“That’s incredible!” she gasped. “How can you--”
“He’s a powerful telepathic, Libidine,” Sia explained as she walked over and placed her hand on the succubus’ back. “Just like you, my dear. Perhaps somewhere down the line, he could teach you how to increase your power set? He can control other demons and Shades, you know.”
“He can?” Libidine smiled and began to bounce up and down happily. “That would be amazing! Could you really teach me how?”
Mephisto nodded.
All in due time. Right now, I must be on my way. The sooner I find those who are willing to join us, the sooner we can begin crafting a battle strategy. Who shall I pay a visit to first, my King?
“Moloch sounds like a good place to start,” I admitted. “And if he doesn’t work out, I give you permission to use your full discretion in finding the next one.”
Mephisto nodded, gave me a bow, and then turned around and walked toward the door at the far end of the room.
As you wish, King Ralston. I will not let you down.
“I know you won’t,” I reassured the demon.
Mephisto’s lanky frame slunk down the stairs and out of our sight completely.
The second he was gone, I let go of the whole “kingly” act. My shoulders slumped as I relaxed my posture and let a smile creep up my face.
“Being in charge is exhausting,” I chuckled. “How the fuck did you do it all the time, Sia?”
“Years and years of practice,” the redhead admitted.
“Please,” Libidine joked. “Being in charge suits your personality, Sister. You wouldn’t know what to do with yourself if you weren’t.”
“That is certainly not true,” Sia shot back. “Jacob is in charge now, and I am completely fine with that.”
“If you say so, Sister,” Cupi chimed in.
“Where’s Firecracker and Elvira?” Todd asked as he scanned the room. “Did they not want to join the welcome wagon?”
“Invidia is in her room, as always,” Ira said with a roll of her eyes. “And Gula, well … she’s got a nice little treat in store for our weary travelers.”
Todd’s eyes became as wide as saucers, and he licked his lips excitedly.
“Did she make us some of that fucking delicious grub?” The imp couldn’t contain his excitement as he rocked back and forth on his feet. “The Toddster’s hunger is currently at the next level.”
“Why don’t you all go see for yourselves?” Ira mused as she motioned to the staircase.
She didn’t have to tell me twice. We hadn’t eaten all day, and traveling through two deadly Circles of Hell had made me so hungry I could eat a horse. My stomach rumbled loudly in my body as I dashed up the stairs, and the rest of the team followed close behind.
We rushed past the living room, past the wing with all of the bedrooms, and then we finally came to the kitchen area of the castle. Instantly, the smell of something spicy and succulent hit my nostrils.
Gula had wanted as modern of facilities as she could get, and that’s what we gave her. There was a massive chrome sink at least three feet deep right next to an industrial sized oven with an open-flame stove top. Pots and pans made of the finest metal hung on all across the walls of the room, as did every type of knife and utensil one could think of.
Just off to the left was a room that housed a walk-in freezer and a cooler where we stored any meat the Sister of Gluttony had captured or any crops the Shades brought to us. At the room’s center sat a massive kitchen island, and that’s where Gula stood.
She was wearing a white apron covered in stains, and she was chopping up a ginger root vigorously when she saw us approaching.
“Hold it!” Gula demanded as she held up her hand. “It’s not quite ready yet. You all get into the dining room, and I’ll bring it in when it’s done.”
“Ah, come on, Firecracker … ” Todd mused as he reached out for a piece of meat laying on the island.
Gula stabbed a large knife into the table right in front of where Todd’s hand was drifting, and the imp let out a yelp of surprise.
“It’s. Not. Ready. Yet,” Gula growled.
Todd looked like a kicked puppy as he pulled his hand away and curled it around his own body.
“Alright guys,” I laughed. “Let’s leave the master alone to do her work.”
We walked into the dining room and were shocked to see Invidia already waiting for us at the table.
“What?” she asked with a shrug. “You thought I was going to miss Gula’s cooking? Not even the sweet, beautiful music of Paramore can make me miss that.”
“Careful there, Elvira,” Todd cackled as he pulled out a chair and took a seat. “It’s kinda sounding like you actually care about something.”
Invidia crossed her arms across her chest and frowned.
“Everybody’s gotta eat,” she sighed. “Might as well enjoy it while we can. Life’s just a dark void where we end up dead, anyway.”
“That’s the spirit!” the imp shot back as he leaned back in his chair.
The rest of the group sat down at the dining table, and I took a minute to admire the room around us.
The table and chairs before us were made out of pure brimstone. However, much like the dark, rocky material used to construct our very castle, this stuff was polished to look as shiny as fine marble. Flecks of black dotted the shimmering, dark gray surface, and when the light hit it correctly, you could see your own reflection in the tabletop. Down the center of the piece sat a dark red runner about six inches wide which ran the entire length of the tabletop.
Plates, forks, knives, and spoons made of pure silver sat before us, each one highly stylized with patterns of “punched metal” artwork. Immediately to their right was a red napkin, and golden goblets sat at the top right of the setting.
This was much better than it had looked under Azazel’s reign, where Gula had claimed it was nothing more than a round wooden table with some chopsticks and a few containers of tupperware.
“Alright, who’s ready for some grub?” Gula announced as she entered the dining room carrying a large platter.
“Is that rhetorical?” Todd giggled and patted his belly. “Let’s see what you got here, Firecracker!”
The Sister of Gluttony set the platter down on the table, grabbed the lid, and then lifted it up.
Underneath was a bowl filled with a reddish-yellow, liquidy concoction. It smelled somewhat spicy, with a hint of tomatoes and cinnamon. The bowl had chunks of finely-cooked meat mixed into it, and it was topped off with a garnish of almonds.
“I don’t think I’ve ever had this before,” I admitted. “What is it?”
“Oh, Jacob … ” Ira clicked her tongue. “It’s curry. You really need to get cultured, don’t you?”<
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“Hey,” I shot back playfully, “when you’re living on a budget of fifty dollars a month for groceries, you don’t really get to explore your culinary options.”
“There were many a-nights of hot dogs and ramen noodles for Jakey and the Toddster,” Todd added. “Sometimes even in the same soup. Thank god for sriracha, right bro?”
“When we could afford it,” I laughed. “Most of the time it was the generic hot sauce brand.”
“Ohhh yeah,” Todd whistled. “Macgillan’s Hot Sauce was life, bro.”
“It’s nothing special,” Gula sighed. “I just whipped this concoction together with some tomato sauce, some spices I had lying around, and some vargrat meat we needed to use up. I hope you enjoy it.”
“It’s grub, Firecracker,” Todd snorted. “I’m gonna enjoy the fuck out of it. I dunno if my intestines will say the same thing later, though.”
Gula stepped away from the table and hurried back into the kitchen. While she was gone, the rest of us passed around the steaming platter and shoveled the creamy curry onto our plates. Then, right about when we got to the bottom of the plate, the red headed chef returned with another platter.
“You simply cannot eat curry without naan,” she explained as she raised up the lid.
On the silver platter in front of us sat a stack of circular breads, each one puffy and toasted to perfection. Bubbles from the cooking process covered each side, and the pieces of naan were still steaming as I picked one up and tossed it onto my plate.
“Alright, my friends,” Gula exclaimed as she pulled up a chair of her own. “Dig in!”
The succubus didn’t have to tell me twice.
I grabbed the first piece of Naan and ripped it in half. Steam exited the airy interior as the doughy middle was exposed, and I could begin to feel a bit of drool form at the corner of my mouth. Then I dipped the bread in the curry, lifted it to my mouth, and took a bite.
Instantly, my taste buds were hit with a sensation like I’d never experienced before. I could taste the distinct zing of cinnamon, cumin, and ginger, but the spices were mixed together with another blend of flavors I couldn’t identify. There was a satisfying crunch of almonds as I chewed up my naan, and then the curry slid down my throat like soft butter.
“Holy shit, Gula,” I moaned happily. “Maybe you need to give us a taste of India more often.”
“I just threw it together from what I found in our pantry,” the succubus said as she looked down and blushed. “I promise it wasn’t anything special.”
“Gula,” Cupiditas mused, “when you cook, everything is special.”
“I must be careful with this curry,” Libidine added. “It’s so smooth and creamy it just slides down my throat without effort. Before I know it, I’ll have three whole plates gone!”
“I’m not even gonna comment on that one,” Todd said through a mouthful of curry. “It’s too easy. Everybody just make up your own ‘that’s what she said’ joke and e-mail it to me, okay?”
“It is quite good, Gula,” Sia agreed. “I must try this ‘Indian food’ more often.”
“It’s pretty good, I guess,” Invidia spoke up. “For like, sustenance purposes.”
“I’ve never had this sort of dish before,” Eligor admitted. “But, without having a baseline to judge it off of, I must say it’s satisfying.”
“What about you, Ira?” Gula asked hopefully. “You’ve been all around the world with your political affairs, so you’ve probably eaten your fair share, right?”
“I have.” Ira nodded, placed a spoonful of curry into her mouth, and shrugged. “It’s no New Delhi street food … but I think I can safely say it’s the best fucking vargrat curry I’ve ever had in my life.”
Gula bounced excitedly up and down in her chair, and I couldn’t help but stare at her jiggling breasts.
“So, it’s got everyone’s seal of approval?” she asked happily. “Ten votes out of ten?”
“Ten out of ten.” I smiled and took another bite of the smooth dish.
“Do you think it’s like, Masterchef good?” Gula continued. “Because if we ever get back to Earth Realm, I totally want to enter into that show, and a good curry might just make me stand out.”
“Firecracker,” Todd reassured her, “this shit may look the same now as it will when it comes out, but it’s fan-fucking-tastic. Chef Ramsey ain’t got shit on you.”
Gula rocked her body back and forth with satisfaction, and then she took another bite of her naan.
We enjoyed the rest of our food over the next several minutes, until both silver platters were completely empty. Stuffed to the gills, each and every one of us was now sitting back in our chairs with our hands on our stomachs, groaning intently as we drifted in and out of our food comas.
Gula scooted out her chair, stood up, and then started to waddle over to the kitchen.
“Where are you going, Sister?” Libidine asked miserably. “Please don’t tell me there’s more.”
“Unfortunately there is,” the redhead giggled. “I hope we all saved room for dessert.”
A loud groan in unison told her we hadn’t, but she continued on into the other room.
“I-I don’t know how I can fit anything else in my stomach, bro,” Todd whimpered. “Like, I may have an appetite the size of Texas, but my stomach is the size of a kickball. There’s only so much real estate it’s got before it goes kablooey!”
“I hope it’s nothing too rich,” Sia muttered. “The mere thought of chocolate right now makes me want to hurl.”
Just then, our chef came barging back into the dining room with another plate in her hand. This time, there was no lid on the platter, and we saw the approaching morsels in all their glory.
There were dozens of small, round balls of dough that looked like they had been fried. Grains of cinnamon sugar dusted each one, and the entire selection had been drizzled with syrup.
“Gulab Jamun,” the redheaded succubus announced. “Or, ‘Indian Donuts.’”
She sat the plate down onto the center of the table, and the small donuts instantly were divided up onto our plates evenly.
I picked up the sticky treat, popped the entire thing into my mouth, and then let out a moan of satisfaction as my taste buds lit up happily.
First, there was the syrupy taste of the glaze mixed with the cinnamon sugar. Then, as I crunched into the golden-brown crust of the dish, I tasted soft, spongy dough with a hint of milk and cheese. The insides of the dessert melted on my tongue, and I swallowed the entire thing with a happy gulp.
Within minutes of the platter arriving on the table, we’d eaten every single Indian Donut.
“Bro … ” Todd wheezed. “I don’t think I can feel my left arm. I think this is it. I always knew the Toddster would die due to overeating, but I always figured it’d be because I was too high to know how to stop.”
“You’re fine, Todd,” Sia promised. “But just in case … ”
The madame called golden Hellfire into her hands and then pressed it against the imp’s tiny arm. His appendage was engulfed instantly with the shimmering flames as they danced along his red flesh. When they finally subsided, Todd rubbed his arm tenderly.
“Nope, still numb,” the imp sighed. “Maybe I need to sleep it off.”
Sleep. The mere mention of the word made my eyes begin to flutter and droop heavily. I was exhausted from all the shit we’d done today, and now that I was overly full, the feeling was even more intense.
“Gula, why don’t you call some of our Shade employees?” I ordered. “They can clean all of this stuff up. I don’t know about you guys, but I want to go to bed.”
“Oh?” Ira perked up at the prospect.
“Just to sleep,” I reassured her. “I was going to ask if everyone wanted to come with me to our quarters. As much as I’d like to get there someday, I definitely don’t have the stamina to make love to all of you at once.”
“A gallon of water and a toooon of potassium, bro,” Todd suggested. �
��That’s all it takes for an intense whack-off session. You got a banana in one hand and a milk jug full of water in the other.”
“Uh … ” I started, even though I really didn’t want to know the answer. “Aren’t you forgetting something? What about your--”
Todd leapt up onto the table, scurried over to me, and slapped his hand over my mouth before I could finish.
“Shhhhhh, bro,” he whispered. “That’s for the Toddster to know, and you to hopefully never find out.”
I grabbed the imp’s hand at the wrist and gently pulled it away from my lips.
“I seriously just want to sleep,” I chuckled. “You’re all more than welcome to try and to take advantage of me while I’m out, but I can’t promise you’ll get much out of it that way.”
“Nonsense,” Ira said, and she was nearly salivating. “I can beat anything I want outta that thing.”
“On second thought, let’s not try and take advantage of the sleeping king,” I laughed.
With that, I stood up, brushed a few naan crumbs off my shirt, and then began to make my way toward the sleeping quarters of the castle. When I glanced back over my shoulder, I saw nearly all of the succubi had followed me. I counted everyone but Todd, Eligor, and Invidia.
Fairly typical.
We walked to our master bedroom, threw open the giant door, and then sauntered over to the two california kings. Without another word, the seven of us plopped down onto the mattress and snuggled in as close to each other as we possibly could.
The smell of the succubi was sweeter than honey as I laid there, ran my hand through their hair, and stared up at the ceiling. Soon enough, each one of the women at my side had drifted off to sleep and were snoring with adorable little noises.
Unfortunately, even though I was beat, my mind was too preoccupied to pass out.
Was Mephisto a Demon Lord we could trust? He was supposedly a master at convincing other people to cede control of their mind and getting them to do what he wanted. Were we just a few more names on the list of people he’s fucked over through the years?
Likewise, I was worried about Asmodeus. Our alliance seemed strong, but he really didn’t have much to bring to the table other than an army of mindless grunts and his own political clout.