by H. P. Bayne
Marc handed over his own phone. “Use mine.”
But Sully had other ideas. He’d call Dez, but he needed to talk first, to get some things off his chest, to try to get his head around what he’d seen and done today. He’d say it—all of it—now and watch for reaction. He trusted both Marc and Raiya, considered them good friends. If they absolved him, he’d tell Dez. If they turned away from him as a result, he’d know to take the events of today to his grave.
“Thanks, Marc,” he said. “But can we talk for a few minutes first? There are things….” Things he didn’t know how to say out loud. He jumped at the sound of a prolonged shriek, watched as a giddy toddler ran past, pursued by a gaggle of equally enthused young children. He watched them go, waited until they were out of earshot.
He considered how best to start before deciding a question was as good a place as any. “You said you came here to help me. How did you know I’d be here?”
“We didn’t,” Marc said. “Not exactly anyway.”
Raiya pushed her now-empty plate aside to allow her to lay her arms upon the table’s surface. “As I was meditating earlier, I sensed a change, something dark. I told you once I have a sense of you in the world, that our energies connect. I sensed a change in you, Sully. A dark change. You’ve allowed the dark part of your soul to take control before, I know, but never so fully. It felt as if the light within you was fading. I called Marc and asked him to come with me. I thought, given the power you carry, it might take both of us to stop you—recognizing even we might not be enough. I considered calling your brother, but I remembered how nervous he is around this other world. I didn’t want any dark power to be able to feed off his fear, plus I didn’t think you’d want him to see you like that.”
“Thanks,” Sully said. “You’re right. I mean, I’ve turned like that in front of him before, but I stopped before I—” He’d come to it now. The worst of his truths.
Marc’s hand settled over his arm, warmth and the support of friendship in the grasp. “Sullivan? Talk to us.”
Sully turned back to him. “What do you see when you look at me? My aura, I mean. What does it tell you right now?”
“You’re who you’re supposed to be,” Marc said. “Your light is back, and it’s strong. But when we first saw you inside the hall, it was like you were standing inside a black hole. You’re carrying something, a terrible weight, one that pains you.”
“But you don’t see it anymore? The black hole?”
“No,” Marc said. “It’s gone. I know it’s there, somewhere inside you, but it isn’t a part of your consciousness at the moment. Nonetheless, your aura tells me you’ve been through something terrible, something you’re carrying with you. Tell us what happened. Maybe talking about it will lighten your burden.”
“I doubt it,” Sully said. “Not this time.”
“Sullivan—”
The words escaped Sully’s lips before he could give them further thought. “I killed people.”
He waited, watched for reaction. Raiya didn’t move, didn’t blink, as if she’d already known. Marc flinched slightly, but didn’t look away, nor did his sympathetic expression change.
They hadn’t abandoned him yet.
“I mean, it wasn’t me, exactly. It was this other part of me, this old part.”
“The hangman,” Marc said.
Sully nodded. He sat forward, despite the fact no one was near enough to hear. “I let Thadeus take control, knowing full well he’d kill. I let him take over because I knew killing would be necessary, and I didn’t want to do it myself. I grew up around police. I know the law: Aiding and abetting a killer makes me guilty as a killer too.”
“These people,” Raiya said. “Tell us about them. What happened?”
Sully explained, taking the pair through the past couple of hours—including the brutal and horrific manner of his escape. When he’d finished, he was both surprised and relieved to find both Marc and Raiya still sitting there, their faces unhardened toward him.
“You said Thadeus took control after Lorinda pressed the button on the device,” Raiya said. “He did it to get you out of there, to save you—or himself, anyway, but it was self-preservation nonetheless. Without some otherworldly intervention, you would have been killed. And the threat remained even after you escaped the house. The men Thadeus killed weren’t good people. They were paid assassins. They were called in by the Dules to kill you, and when they failed, they threatened the life of someone you care for to compel you to go with them. After that, after the Dules were gone, they tried to kill you again. Thadeus might not be a good man either, but he still employed his own version of self-defence.”
“Those men wouldn’t have stopped hunting you, Sullivan,” Marc added. “Now, granted I’m far from an expert here, but I should think assassination contracts would typically involve some upfront payment with the rest payable upon completion. With the Dules dead, they knew they wouldn’t be receiving final payment, but attempted to finish the job anyway. That tells me they might well have continued trying to kill you had you escaped without Thadeus killing them. Men like that, they would think little of collateral damage.
“What if, down the road, Desmond had gotten in the way of a bullet, or Eva or your mom or me, even some random stranger? What would you think then? You’d feel guilt of a different kind, one I’d imagine would be even more unbearable to you than the one you face now. Death contracts can never have a good outcome. In this case, people who set out to kill ended up being killed themselves. While I don’t believe in capital punishment, there are many who’d call what happened today a form of justice.”
“I appreciate what the two of you are doing,” Sully said. “I really do. I was scared you’d think I was a monster for letting this happen. But it doesn’t let me off the hook. Maybe you’re right. Maybe their deaths were necessary to protect myself or others, but I still carry all of this inside me, the memory of what Thadeus did. To be fair, he tried to let the last one off. He gave him a chance. The guy didn’t take it.”
“Interesting,” Marc said. “The way you’ve described this Thadeus, and the way I saw his aura, there’s next to nothing redeemable about him. Yet he was willing to give that man a chance. All this time, you’ve been concerned about the impact this dark side of your soul has on the good part. What if the good is rubbing off on the bad? Maybe it works both ways.”
Sully hadn’t even considered it, this possibility he stood as much of a chance at altering this dark part of himself as he did of being corrupted by the bad. “You think that’s possible?”
“If you stay in control,” Raiya said. “The problem, I think, is that the longer Thadeus remains behind the wheel, so to speak, the stronger he gets. I don’t think he would have relinquished control had we not found you. And he is strong, no question. I could feel him, could sense the static from him increasingly as we got nearer to you. I knew then it would take a lot to overcome him, and I wasn’t even sure the palo santo would be enough.”
“Palo santo?” Sully fingered the cross Marc had given him. “That’s what Mariel’s cross is made out of, right?”
“The object I hit you with was a large piece of wood from a palo santo tree. Mariel gifted it to me after I blessed her cross many years ago. I’ve made a few items from it myself over the years, but still have a large part. Mariel said her cross came from that piece of wood. I blessed it before we left my home. I hoped by connecting the mother wood with the cross we could create a sort of energy flow, one strong enough to drive the hangman back.”
“It worked,” Sully said. “It felt like it was killing him. It was enough that I could finish beating him back from the inside.”
“My intention was never to kill him,” Raiya said. “Killing him would kill you. He isn’t a separate entity. He’s a part of you. I’ve never encountered a past life with a consciousness like his, but he is still a past life, and so a part of your soul.”
She leaned toward Sully again, reaching across t
he table to clasp his forearm. “You had a very difficult life as a young child, Sully. You were virtually powerless against the terrible people who took you in before the Braddocks entered your life. There must have been moments you wished for the sort of strength you find in this darker part of yourself. It might be that’s a large part of why you are so willing to let the hangman take charge when you’re most at risk. You need to understand something: He is you. You have the strength within yourself to fight the battles that need fought. You can stay in control and still do those things.”
“But today, that meant killing people,” he said. “I don’t want to do that. Thadeus—”
“Kills because he enjoys it,” Raiya said. “That isn’t right, and there’s a huge risk that it could go very, very wrong. The way he looked and Marc and me, I could see he was considering killing us. There’s no doubt in my mind he would have, had we continued to fight him. Sully, you’re a good person, one who has yet to fully grasp how much power can come from good. Dark power might be more immediate and more destructive, but it carries with it great danger. Know that the more and the longer you allow it to control you, the greater the chance you will lose yourself to it. I very much doubt Thadeus Dule began life as a dark entity. I think it’s far more likely that in taking in the souls of bad people, he gradually became them.”
Raiya squeezed his arm, as if to draw his attention to a final, important point. “Take in only good, Sully. Have faith in yourself, in your own power, and good will result. But go the other way, allow the darkness inside you too much control, and I’m afraid the light Marc sees in you will fade forever.”
The snow fell in heavy, wet flakes when Sully stepped outside with Marc’s phone to call Dez.
Dez answered on the first ring. “Marc?”
Just one word was enough. Pain filled Dez’s voice, a level of torment that sent a shudder through Sully.
“It’s me, Dez.”
A loud intake of breath, one that spoke to deep relief. Then, “Sully? Where are you? Are you okay? I thought you must be—”
“I’m fine. I’m with Marc and Raiya. Some stuff happened, and I need to—”
“Sully….” For some reasons, Dez’s interruption went nowhere further than that. Sully waited on something more, but nothing came.
“What’s going on, Dez?”
Another sound, one that froze Sully in place. A sob. “It’s Kayleigh. Oh, God. It’s Kayleigh.”
The worst flashed into Sully’s mind. His legs gave out, dropping him to his knees on the snowy ground. “No. God, she’s not—”
“She’s alive,” Dez said. “Lowell. He took her. He and Kindra. We’ve checked his place in the city and the estate out west. And we called over to the LOBRA offices, and nothing. We don’t know where else to look. God, Sull. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to do.”
Sully gave it a moment to process. Only a moment. He didn’t need longer. Fury swept in, filling up the space that had been taken by fear.
“First, you’re going to tell me where to meet you,” Sully said. “Then we’re going to go get her back.”
14
The sun had long set as headlights from a car came into view along the highway just north of the city.
The snowfall was lightening up, but it had already done its damage, leaving some roads impassable and most others treacherous. Marc, behind the wheel of his car, had maneuvered carefully into the spot he now occupied, on a quiet gravel road just a few metres from the highway intersection.
Several vehicles had passed already, the more foolhardy or desperate daring to leave the city despite the travel warnings.
Sully suspected such warnings wouldn’t apply to him or his family either. They’d fall into the desperate category in a way few others would.
The approaching vehicle slowed as it reached the gravel road. It made the left turn, then stopped on the opposite side, just out of the path of any oncoming highway traffic. Close enough Sully recognized Dez and Eva’s SUV.
Sully climbed out of the backseat just as the SUV’s rear passenger-side door opened. He was surprised to see Dez unfolding himself from the backseat, a space typically too small for his large frame.
After everything he’d been through, everything Dez was going through now, the broken image of his brother had Sully rapidly closing the distance to wrap Dez in a hug.
Sully didn’t say anything. Neither did Dez, his ability to talk seemingly restricted by sniffles and choked-back emotion. Finally, Dez pulled away, just enough to cast his eye over Sully’s body. “You hurt?”
Sully shook his head. “I’m fine.” Physically, anyway. He wasn’t about to get into the rest of it. That would wait until they had Kayleigh back safe.
Eva appeared next to Dez, and Sully turned to her, pulling her into an embrace that allowed him to feel her shaking even through heavy winter layers.
“We’re going to get her back, Evie. I swear to you, we’ll get her back.”
As Dez had, she squeezed him back hard enough to hurt. And as with Dez, it sounded like her intended words had become lodged in her throat.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
She pushed away and glared at him. “For what?”
“This. All of this. If I’d just confronted him earlier, dealt with him instead of running, this wouldn’t have happened.”
“Dealt with him how?” she asked. “Short of killing him, we had no way of doing that.”
Sully didn’t pursue it, but the thought was there. Between Thadeus and Ned, killing Lowell would have been as easy as getting through his front door.
“It’s my fault,” Dez said. “Lachlan and I pushed too far too fast when we confronted Kindra. We just thought—”
“We had no choice,” Lachlan said. Sully turned to see the man standing next to the SUV’s driver’s side door. “There was never going to be a good time or a good way to do this. There were always going to be risks.”
Dez turned on Lachlan. “We should have waited until my family was safe.”
Lachlan nodded, eyes turning from Dez to the highway behind them. “I know. That’s my fault, and I’m sorry.”
Eva turned to glare at each of them in turn. “No one here is to blame. The fault lies with Lowell and Kindra, no one else. Lachlan’s right. We knew what we were calling down. And I’m sorry, Dez, I know we all trust Paul, but there were never any guarantees we would be safe up at that cabin anyway. You can’t tell me Lowell doesn’t have ways of figuring out where we are, whether by getting it from someone in the Circle or using one of Gerhardt’s psychics for info. The only way we’ll be safe is to get him out of the way.”
Dez nodded, returned his attention to Lachlan. “Sorry I snapped at you. Eva’s right. I know it. I’m just—I’m fucked, man. I’m totally fucked.”
Lachlan smiled. “I hear you. Listen, we need to start asking around. I’ll start checking—”
“There’s no ‘I’ in any of this from now on,” Dez said. “We stick together. All of us. The risks are too high. After what happened to Forbes—”
Sully’s head spun toward Dez. “What happened?”
“Shit, sorry, man, didn’t think. He was shot by a fellow cop. We contacted Paul with the name Forbes provided to us, and he confirmed she’s a Circle member.”
“How bad is he hurt?”
“It’s not great, but Clark Davies called us from the hospital a while ago to tell us he came through surgery okay. The chest wound was a little touch and go, but he’s expected to live. Clark’s staying with him, and he’ll make sure anyone who comes to relieve him is well-apprised of the situation.”
“How’s he going to know who to trust? We don’t even know.”
Dez removed his phone and tapped it for Sully’s benefit. “Paul got back to us with a list of Circle members. It reads like a who’s who of the city’s elite and a cast of wannabes. Good news is while there are a couple of doctors on the list, they aren’t working in a capacity where they’d be dealing direc
tly with Forbes. We’ve passed the list on to Clark and Chief Leuvan. Clark will watch for any of them coming or going around the hospital, and so will any relief he’s got coming. As for the chief, Lachlan and I talked to him on the way out here.”
Lachlan leaned against the vehicle hood as he provided Sully with a rundown. “Ed wasn’t entirely blown away by what we told him. He’d heard of the Circle and had apparently been approached in the past about joining. He refused, said it wasn’t his thing. He didn’t have concrete evidence of it being anything more than a bunch of rich people hobnobbing, but he told us he’s had suspicions about darker goings-on. Nothing he could put a finger on, but he thought it was along the lines of financial corruption of some type. He didn’t realize it went as far as murder. We haven’t told him about you being alive—yet. But I think we should. He wants to speak with us immediately about the Circle. And I think he should speak with you.”
Sully met Dez’s eye.
“It’s okay,” Dez said. “He’s in the clear on this. Anyway, we’ll be there. Like I said, no one’s going anywhere or doing anything alone. Not anymore.”
“What about Mom?” Sully asked.
Dez and Eva exchanged a look.
“We haven’t told her yet,” Eva said. “We decided to wait a bit, hopefully until we have some better news. She’ll insist on helping us look, and we don’t want her involved.”
“But she’s alone, and you said Lowell might have ways of finding the cabin.”
“She’s not alone,” Dez said. “Paul’s with her. We didn’t tell him about Kayleigh either. Not yet. But we talked about everything else, and we decided it was best he stick around there too. With everything coming out, Circle members are going to clue in pretty quick they’ve got a traitor on board. It won’t take a genius to recognize it’s Paul.”
“He thought maybe his dad would break,” Sully said. “Is there still a chance of that happening?”