Family Secrets: Books 5-8

by Virginia Kantra

  You say you loved me, and maybe you did, but not the way I loved you. I knew it was wrong and I knew it wasnt returned, but that didnt staunch the flow. I stood there that morning wrapped in a sheet and shivering, able to smell you, feel you inside me still, while you kissed me on the forehead and told me I was a good friend, then walked out the door without turning back. You might as well have patted me on the head as if I was the golden retriever youd grown up with. I couldnt breathe, Eric. I wanted to die.

  His gaze darkened. Leigh

  I was at your dads funeral, did you know that? No, of course you didnt, and thats okay, but I was there, Eric, bleeding for you and wanting to give you my support, even when you didnt know.

  You should have told me.

  Told you what? Told you when? When you called me and said you werent coming back, that your life was in Cloverdale with your mom and Becky? That you were sorry you made love to me and would I please just go to Oxford?

  He pinched the bridge of his nose. Thats not fair.

  Life isnt. I learned that the hard way.

  Damn it, Leigh, I had no idea you were pregnant.

  Would it have made a difference? some place deep inside her longed to ask, but she refused to let the question past the wedge of hot emotion in her throat. The answer didnt matter.

  For years she dreamed of marrying Eric. For years she dreamed of creating a family of their own. But as she looked at the contempt in his eyes, the hard lines of his face, she realized no matter how badly she still longed for that family, Connor deserved better than living in a house where his father could barely stand the sight of his mother.

  I didnt want your pity then, Eric, and I dont want it now.

  Pity? he practically growled. Is that what you think this is about?

  There was no thinking about it. I know you, Eric, she said with a brittle smile. The little boy whod been abandoned by his birth parents had grown into a man determined never to let down anyone he deemed to be in his care. Not his mother, not Becky and not, if hed known she was pregnant, Leigh. I know your sense of right and wrong. If Id told you about the baby, you would have added my pregnancy to your shoulders like another burden and silently trudged on. You might have even asked me to marry you out of some misplaced sense of responsibility.

  Misplaced sense of responsibility? Were talking about my child!

  Later, she knew. Later she would fall apart. Now she had to remain strong. And Im talking about forever, Eric. Im talking about a child who deserves better than to grow up in a family where his parents married only to compensate for a mistake. She hesitated briefly before plunging on. The truth, she reminded herself. He wanted the truth.

  I grew up like that, she reminded. I grew up the child of parents who married simply because of one careless night. And I watched my mother and father come to hate each other. They couldnt look at each other, couldnt say a word, without the anger and resentment boiling through. And shed always known it was her fault, her fault her parents hated each other, her fault her mother had lived a life without the love of a good man.

  Now she felt her composure slip, the emotion shed been fighting buck up against decisions made a lifetime ago. I would have done anything, she said, anything to spare my child, spare you, that same agony.

  Eric stepped toward her. Im not your father.

  No, youre not, and I know that. But I also know marriages based on the wrong reasons never last. And I wanted better than that. I wanted more than the illusion of a family.

  Eric squeezed his eyes shut, opened them a moment later. Christ.

  The clamp around her heart tightened, making breathing impossible. We cant change the past, she said quietly.

  Outside the sun was just about gone, leaving shadows to spill into the foyer. No, Eric said, but you sure as hell changed the future. Then he turned and walked toward the door.

  Leigh sucked in a sharp breath, surprised by how jaggedly it scraped. Where are you going?

  He turned back to her, frowning. I cant be with you right now, he said in a voice devoid of all emotion. I cant look at you. I dont even know who you are.

  And then he walked away.

  One moment, one decision, one mistake.

  Leigh moved woodenly to the open door and watched him slide into his car, but she refused to go after him. There was nothing else to say. They had only the truth now, and as shed always, always known it would, it destroyed everything.

  His black Jeep roared to life, with Eric checking the sidewalk before backing out the driveway. She watched his taillights fade into the darkness, amazed that she could stand there so silently, so still, while her heart quietly and violently shattered.

  Jake stared out over the twinkling lights of downtown Chicago. She doesnt understand, Gretchen. She says Im breaking her heart. How do I fight that?

  Through the scratchy international phone line, his sister sighed. Shes still pressuring you to go back to Texas?

  Shes tired of the cloak-and-dagger routine, she says. Tired of not knowing where I am. Tired of sleeping alone.

  Can you blame her?

  No, Jake admitted. But I cant change anything. Not now. Not until he found his brothers and sisters and helped stamp out the danger threatening them all. Hed done everything he could to help Tara through this. He called her every night. He sent her flowers. Hed even hired bodyguards to make sure she stayed safe. The thought of someone nabbing heror his parentsto use as a pawn against him turned his blood to ice. Of course, Tara had no idea that the nice couple whod moved in next to her were really a former Green Beret and a martial arts expert, but for now he figured the less she knew, the better. If she knew more, shed demand explanations.

  Explanations were one commodity he did not have to offer.

  Hang in there, Gretchen advised. Are you any closer to clearing your friends name?

  Maybe, he said. A few leads look promising. We should have a second evaluation on his computer within a day or two.

  You dont think

  No. He didnt need her to finish the question. Hes not one of us. The thought, the possibility that his friend was really his brother had kept Jake awake night after night. Both men were tall and excelled with numbers, but when Jake looked at Eric, he didnt feel that distorted buzz hed felt with Marcus and Gretchen. And even when hed probed his friend, thered been no mention of strange dreams or fractured memories. No mention of a dark-haired woman with kind blue eyes or a big bear of a man who wore thick glasses. No memory of the elegant old house or the beach.

  Even Marcus had those memories.

  Plus, if Eric Jones was really one of the Proteans, as the press so loved calling them, that meant he could be behind the World Bank heist. And that Jake couldnt believe. When the evidence comes in, well know for sure, but I dont think so.

  Im sorry, Gretchen said softly.

  He turned from the dazzling parade of lights streaming down Lake Michigan and stared at the muted television screen, where the Cubs and the Mets were locked in a surprising pitchers duel. Well find the others, Gretchen. Im sure of it.

  Marcus told me he dreamed of her last nightdreamed of Mother.

  That snagged Jakes attention, brought a
quick stab of grief. Hed lost his mother before ever really knowing her. But he had his siblings. Marcus and Samantha had traveled to Gretchen and Kurts safe house on the nearly deserted island of Brunhia, where they were now planning their wedding. The same dream or something new?

  Her singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.

  Jake smiled. I like that dream.

  He doesnt remember the toys, though. Maybe he was too young.

  Probably. But Jake remembered. Boxes and boxes of fantastical toys, toys hed never seen in a store or catalog. Robotic dogs capable of carrying on conversations, puzzles that changed shape and size as you worked them.

  How are the disks coming? His gut insisted the answers to so many mysteries were contained in the sophisticated code Henry Bloomfield his father had devised to protect them all. If the truth fell into the wrong hands, the consequences could be catastrophic. Any progress?

  More every day. By the time you get here we should be close.

  Jake frowned. He wanted to be on the island with his sister and brother, be there when the code was broken, but he couldnt leave Chicago. Not yet.

  Just a few more days, he promised Gretchen, much as hed promised Tara. Shed be traveling with him, the first real quality time theyd spend together in months. Of course, the fact that theyd be traveling to Brunhia for Marcus and Samanthas wedding when their own was on indefinite hold hadnt exactly gone over well.

  Instinct warned that the tension brewing between the two of them was about to hit a full rolling boil.

  Thats fantastic news, Glenn. Tomorrow morning?

  Im pretty sure.

  Wonderful. Leigh hung up the phone a few minutes later and picked up her coffee mug, indulged in a long sip. The jolt of caffeine swam through her, punched deep. Optimism welled.

  Tomorrow. By this time tomorrow morning, one of the two private investigators shed hired, Glenn Moore, promised to arrive with a key piece of evidence to clear Erics name. The second investigator, Alice Brady, had checked in the afternoon before, announcing that she, too, had stumbled across some very interesting information.

  Please, Leigh thought, staring out the window toward her backyard. Please let this nightmare be almost over. Then she frowned. Resolving the case would not end the nightmare, not now that the truth had spilled into the open, gouging out the distance between her and Eric more firmly, more permanently, more deeply than time or an ocean ever had. Shed seen the look in his eyes, the hot, glinting light of betrayal.

  I cant be with you right now. I cant look at you. I dont even know who you are.

  Long, sleepless hours later, the words still twisted her up inside. Shed dedicated her career to defending others, but could find no defense for herself. Shed tried to explain, to make him understand, but knew some things could never be forgiven. Keeping a mans child from him was one of them.

  The doorbell jarred her. She jumped, knocking over the coffee as she swung toward the front door. Connor had gone to a friends house after church. Shed come home and made phone calls, and hadnt yet changed clothes.

  She wasnt expecting anyone.

  Through the curtains in the living room she saw the Jeep. Through the peephole, the man. The anger. He dominated her doorstep just as hed always dominated her heart, a tall man with piercing blue eyes. Every instinct she had for self preservation demanded that she turn and walk away, but shed never been a coward.

  Eric, she said, pulling open the door. Her pulse staggered and her breathing hitched, but she kept her voice steady. The attorneys voice. I didnt expect you today.

  His lips curled in a gesture far more similar to a snarl than a smile. I dont run from my problems, Leigh.

  She swallowed. I never said you did.

  I dont tuck tail and hide, either. I dont pretend.

  As she had. He didnt say the words, but they echoed through the foyer, her heart, loud and clear. I did what I thought best.

  The planes of his face hardened. And Im doing what I think is best. Im meeting with two attorneys tomorrow, one to take over the case and the other to draw up formal custody papers.

  The words, cold and emotionless, slammed into Leigh like a wrecking ball. She reached numbly for the antique hall tree, but could do nothing to disguise the sharp intake of air. Thats not the answer, Eric.

  I need someone I can trust to represent me, he bit out. And Im not going to miss another day with my son.

  Leigh stared blindly at the man standing before her, the man shed made love with, made a child with. But as had happened the night before, she saw only a stranger, an angry, betrayed man who threatened every aspect of the life shed built for herself and her son. I would never keep him from you, she said quietly.

  What would you call the past ten years? he asked, then abruptly lifted a hand. No, never mind. The past doesnt matter. Its the future Im interested in, the future I want.

  The future. A new lawyer to represent him. And his son. But not her. Do you really think Id let my sons father go to prison?

  Ive already told you, Leigh. I dont know what youd do, not anymore.

  He looked tired, she noted. As wrung out as she felt. She doubted hed found much sleep the night before, either. Do what you have to, Eric, but know Im going to do what I have to, as well.

  His eyes narrowed. What the hell is that supposed to mean?

  She lifted her chin, let a fire of her own flash in her eyes. She deserved his anger, deserved his contempt, but she would not let him bully her, and she would not beg. She hadnt set out to hurt him.

  Contrary to what you think, she said, I dont run and hide, either. I dont pretend. And I dont quit.

  And by God, she was not letting this man go to prison.

  Im not asking you to quit, Leigh. Im telling you whats going to happen.

  She curled her fingers around the edge of the hall tree. What do you expect me to say? Okay? Fine? Whatever you say?

  His mouth twisted. Hardly.

  Then go, she said abruptly. Her heart broke on the words, but she forced the attorney to remain in place, refused to let the woman bleed through. If youre not here to have a discussion, if youre not ready to listen, then turn and walk out the door.

  Eric held her gaze long and hard, then swore under his breath. Then he did exactly as she asked. He turned and walked out the door down the winding walkway, didnt look back.

  Leigh watched him go, waited until the door thundered shut behind him. Then she uncurled her bloodless fingers and strode to the bay window in the living room. The sky was a brilliant blue, a scattering of fluffy white clouds dotting the horizon.

  The truth shone as brightly as the early afternoon sun.

  The past was gone, but the future remained, and Leigh would fight for that with everything she had. Eric Jones could fire her, he could walk out the door without looking back, but he could not, would not, stop her.

  Despite the lies and the heartbreak that stood between them, she loved him far too much to turn her back on him now.

  Connor ran back on a sharp line drive straight up the center, caught it on a bounce, then spun around and fired the ball toward first half a step before the runner hit the ba
se.

  Eric surged to his feet and let out a low whistle. Good throw, Connor! The boy flashed a smile toward the bleachers, then hunkered down into a ready stance to await the next pitch.

  Pride beamed through Eric as bright and warm as the late-afternoon sun bearing down from a cloudless sky. Hed arrived at the ballpark shortly before the first pitch, having driven in circles before losing the news vans tailing him. Connor had seen him the second hed walked toward the bleachers, breaking away from his team to run over and grin up at Eric.

  You made it! hed said, his wide smile revealing the dimple he shared with his father. This is so cool!

  Erics throat had tightened. I wouldnt have missed it for the world.

  And he wouldnt have. Hed already missed so much, his birth, his first words, seeing those first tentative steps, teaching his son to ride a bicycle and throw a baseball.

  Leigh had done a good job with him. Eric had to admit that, even as betrayal again slashed through him. For a while, during the long dark hours of the night when hed stood on his patio overlooking the quiet streets of Lincoln Park, numbness had replaced the sharp edges of shock. But the second hed seen her standing in the sunny foyer and wearing a soft, feminine sundress at complete odds with the cool defiance in her eyes, the roaring had started all over again, an incessant drumming in his blood, a raw bleeding deep inside he didnt know how to stop.

  He had a son, damn it. He and Leigh. Theyd created a child. If that night had been a cheap one-night stand, a drunken slapping of bodies in the dark, then maybe he could understand her silence. But it hadnt been. Hed been blind with grief that night, and Leigh had been there. Leigh. His friend. His best friend. Theyd shared laughter and secrets, good times and bad. Shed confided in him about her lonely childhood, when shed felt responsible for her parents lousy marriage. And in turn, hed told her about the happy years with the Joneses, but the relentless curiosity, as well, about the man and woman whod given him life, then abandoned him.