Family Secrets: Books 5-8
Page 60
She would have said more. She meant to say more. She had a lot of opinions, and too few people cared about hearing them. But then the door to the big room shot open and Marcus appeared there.
What the hell got into you today? he demanded. Why did you bolt out of my wedding?
Her temper ticked again. Did it occur to you that maybe I had a legitimate reason?
You dont have a legitimate bone in your body!
On that note, I think Ill bolt again.
Honey made a beeline for the stairs door. She was all out of fight.
Max sat on deck in his favorite chair and watched the village fishermen head out to sea as the sun went down. The women milled about the cabins after seeing them off.
Why not take Eliseor whoever she wasup on what she was offering? he wondered. He was looking for a way to justify taking what he wanted, he realized. What she made him want with her outrageous, shameless pursuit of him. In all honesty, that pursuit was flattering. He could imagine that shed normally only have to crook one of those pretty manicured fingers of hers and men would hurl themselves into her bed. Maybe that was why she wanted him, he reflected, because hed resisted her. If so, was there anything wrong with that?
He couldnt bear complications in his current life of stolen simplicities, but she wasnt offering any. She would be going home soon, back to the States.
She didnt seem to want more from him than sex. She couldnt want his money because he was pretty sure now that she didnt know he had it. So would it be wrong to give her what she wanted and take something for himself in the process?
He was starting to think not when she appeared on the beach. Shed changed into those cutoffs again, the white-blue ones, and this time she appeared to be wearing some sort of bathing suit top. She stopped at the waters edge, looked out at the Sea Change and waved to him to come to shore.
Max stood and went to the transom. He shook his head at her. He had never been a rash man. He had to consider this wager business for all pratfalls before he let himself act.
She waded into the water. She wasnt going to swim out, he thought. Yes, she was. She dove over a little wave and disappeared under the surface.
Something caught inside him, something impossibly alert and ready. His blood started heating. How many times in his life did a man stand aboard his boat and watch a mermaid swim toward him with the express purpose of seducing him?
Only a fool wouldnt help her on board, and he wasnt a fool, either. Or at least, since Camille, he liked to think hed learned how not to be.
She broke through the water again eight or nine feet closer to his boat. Then she started angling toward him with clean strokes. Max was leaning over the transom when she reached it, looking down at her.
Youre out of your mind, he said quietly.
The waters freezing. Help me out of here.
He didnt reach down a hand. He didnt do it because he was as glad to see her now as he had been when shed marched up to him earlier, even knowing that thered be hell to pay for what hed done to her last night. Maybe he wouldnt take her up on her offer, not tonight, not yet, but there was no doubt in his mind that he was going to enjoy her visit.
Its September, he pointed out.
So? She held on to the stern.
Northern hemisphere. Thats why the waters cold.
Can I have my geography lesson somewhere warm and dry?
Her lips were going a pale shade of blue, he realized. The water was tepid enough at the shore line but out here the currents swept in with something more frigid. He finally put a hand down to her and hauled her up.
Honey scrambled over the transom. Ooh, strong men give me the shivers.
I think its the business about September in the northern hemisphere.
That too. Her teeth were snicking together, she realized. How very seductive. She almost rolled her eyes at herself. This was not going the way she had planned it when shed left the house. But she rallied. It might be best if I got out of these wet clothes.
Nice try. He grinned. Oh, she loved his grin when he let it go all the way. How about a shot of cognac instead?
You have cognac? How in the world can you afford that? she asked, startled.
His grin faded and his face closed down again. He gave her his back and went into the galley. Honey thought about kicking herself for the question.
She was nervous, she realized. Her shivers were bone-deep and they werent just from the cold. That was as new as the odd un-Honey-like words she kept spouting lately and the urge to cry that kept hitting her out of the blue.
He came back to her with a snifter. She took it and tossed back the shot. I have something to say, she announced after the warmth hit her. Her shivers eased a little.
Are you going to tell me who you really are now?
No.
Why not?
Because I dont want to be who I am.
It hit him like a punch to the solar plexus. He might have spoken those same words himself, and none would have been truer. Max nodded.
Honeys heart swelled. He was going to let it go at that, she realized. It was a gift unlike any shed ever been given before, and shed spent a lifetime being given more than money had any right to buy.
She leaned to put the glass down on a coffee table. Heres the thing. This started out being sort of aa game. She wagged a finger between them. Going after you. This whole sex business.
Are you going to let me in on the rules?
She owed him that much, she decided, and she nodded. This had to be removed from my real life.
Elise, I cant be a part of your real life for reasons youre not even aware of.
What Im trying to say is, this here, right now, isnt a part of that. Im not here right now for the same reason I took my shirt off last night.
You dont want sex?
At least he looked dismayed, she thought. That was encouraging. Of course I do. But I dont want it for the same reason I wanted it before.
Why do you want it, then?
Oh, God, she felt her chin tremble. To reclaim me. To take back someone I should never have let them make me lose in the first place. She understood that now, she realized. Shed fought off her familys smothering control and expectations so hard and so well, she had even fought off herself. Right now I want comfort and a haven, and youre it.
His face changed. There was something in his eyes that she hadnt seen before. There was empathy there and a misery of his own. Honey started shaking again. He finally put his own glass down.
Dont you want to get out of those wet clothes? he asked her.
The most amazing thing speared through her then. An almost debilitating flash of heat, followed by a thrumming sensation of wanting. Things tightened at the core of her. Oh, my, she thought, Im turned on.
But then he turned away.
Where are you going? she demanded.
To get you a warm blanket. Comfort and all that.
She wanted to tell him that that wasnt the comfort shed had in mind, but she was still too shaken by the awakening of her own body. And just because of words.
By the time he came back from the fore cabin, shed rallied somewhat. I just laid my soul bare, and you get me a blanket?
If your souls getting naked, Ive got a hunch that the rest of you is headed that way as well.
It happened again, she thought, but the heat was hotter and the thrumming was more intense. And things that were already tight inside her started to hurt.
He draped the blanket over her shoulders. When he was close, she angled her head up and caught his mouth with her own.
She knew immediately that he wasnt going to push her away this time. Maybe shed convinced him not to, or maybe he had already made up his mind. But the games were over for him, too. His hands left the blanket and his fingers tunneled into her wet hair. He held her head while his mouth took over, his tongue diving in a slow dance that made her crazy. She wanted to shout with the things that were happening to her body. She wanted to grab what was within her grasp now in a heated, fierce frenzy before it could get away from her again. But he held her still for an assault of agonizing deliberation.
Just when she thought she couldnt stand it anymore, his hands moved to the straps of her swimsuit top and slid them down over her shoulders.
Youre probably still a little chilled, he said against her mouth.
No. Yes.
He laughed, a low, throaty sound, and his fingers found the front of her top. He eased it down. The cool evening air wafting through the open cabin door tickled her skin and made her nipples pucker. She felt a shuddering deep inside herself.
Id ask if this is okay, but I think youve already demonstrated that it is.
Mmm. Her voice was leaving her. Then his mouth slicked over her neck, her throat, down lower. Honey felt her legs folding.
Not again! But she wasnt passing out. The need inside her was alive. She had no strength against it. Just when she thought she might mortify herself by going to her knees for an entirely different reason this time, his arms came around her. He picked her up and moved a few steps back to a sofa bunk, lowering her there.
No gossamer sheets, he said as his mouth found her breast. No elegant four-poster.
She meant to tell him that she didnt care. But her voice started escaping her in little, mewling sounds as his tongue traced her nipple, and she couldnt find words.
The tightness inside her was agony now. She wanted this to last forever, and yet she couldnt stand any more. Her hands started flying, seemingly of their own accord. Up beneath his T-shirt, over his skin, skin that still felt warm from the days sun. Her mouth found his own throat and she tasted sea salt and man. She nipped on his earlobe and felt free, soaring, touching the sky. Everything in my life has been leading me right to this moment. She had the crazy thought that shed just been in the wrong place to find it.
Her fingers found the waist of his shorts and it occurred to her that she really had no idea how to go about gracefully getting them off him. He rose off her a little and stripped them away himself.
Shed never seen a real man naked before. On film, sure. But not for real. She liked it. A lot.
A laugh bubbled up in her throat. He caught it from her mouth and swallowed it. She felt giddy, exquisitely alive. He found the zipper on her shorts and tugged it down. She wriggled to let him get them off her. Then he was pressed to her, all of him, length to length, and he kissed her hard again with a groan in his throat. And her thoughts spiraled and her mind shattered. She felt him press against her, inside
and pain exploded.
Shed expected it. She started to cry out anyway, caught the sound, swallowed it back. He froze.
Dont stop, she begged.
Elise, for Gods sake
No! Maybe it was instinct. She would never know. She rocked her hips up against him until the barrier was gone and didnt matter anymore at all.
He didnt stop. She wouldnt let him. She wrapped her legs around him and her hands moved over his skin again, heated, demanding, urging him on. She caught his mouth and begged without words. And he picked up a rhythm until there were only starbursts in her head and light rained down through her body. And the tightness inside her imploded. She felt as if pieces of herself were tumbling in, crumbling into a glorious heap of embers. He groaned and tensed and his fingers spasmed in her hair.
It was a long time before he spoke. But shed kind of expected that, too.
You were a virgin? His voice vibrated with shock, with anger.
She should have told him. She had been trying to ditch the status quo for so long, had been so busy worrying about the imminent bam-bam-bams and rat-tat-tats, it had never occurred to her to warn a man first. Maybe that had been wrong.
Gotta go. She tried to squeeze out from beneath him, but she wasnt sure she could stand.
The hell you are. His weight pressed her down more firmly.
She went with instinct. She had to get away. If he berated her, she wasnt sure she could bear it right now. You dont want anyone from the house to come looking for me, she pointed out. It was a stab in the dark, but she was right on target. That possibility, for some reason, continued to quell him.
He rolled aside to let her get up. Weve got to talk about this.
Later. After you calm down.
Im calm.
Youre angry.
Damned right Im angry! You should have told me! Who the hell are you?
Obviously not the same person who swam to your boat. She grabbed her clothing, then she went still. Dont ruin this, Joe. Im begging you. Please dont ruin it for me.
He didnt understand. She could see it in his eyes. But he let it go. He was a good man, she thought, inherently good. She could want him for that alone.
Honey struggled back into her clothes. She didnt want to have feelings for him. The absence of swooning and hyperventilation was precious enough. Because she wasnt in Georgetown, she told herself, hurrying out onto the deck again. That was all it was. That was why it had worked this time.
Honey looked over her shoulder. He was standing in the cabin door. She thought of saying more, changed her mind, then once again dove into the water.
Ten
T he sun was high and warm when Honey woke in the morning, pouring in through the east windows of the bell room and heating her skin where it reached the cot. She rolled over onto her back and looked up at the bell.
It occurred to her to pump her hands skyward and hoot. No longer a virgin! But oddly, it hadnt turned out to feel like a hooting sort of occasion. For one thing, she was reasonably sure that Joe was going to have a thing or two more to say about the virginity business. That took a little of the celebratory edge off things. But she felt liquid, too, not charged, as though her whole body had gone to melted chocolate.
Then the thought that had spiraled through her mind last night came back to nip at her. Everything in my
life has been leading up to this moment. Her stomach squeezed. But a woman could be expected to have bizarre thoughts leading up to her first orgasm, she decided, especially when it had taken her so long to grab the brass ring. There was something rather cataclysmic about the experience, after all. That was all that wayward thought meant. Shed come to Brunhia to find a lover. She hadnt come to fall in love.
She swung her legs over the side of the bed. Shed gotten away from the townhouse. That was why it had finally worked. It was just sex. How could it be anything else? She could never let him into her life. The minute he entered her real life and got anywhere near Georgetown, the panic attacks would come on.
She was halfway across the room to her suitcase when that thought froze her. She was going to have to spend the rest of her life flitting around the globe, she realized, just to enjoy the simple act of human copulation without coming undone.
Honor? Are you up there? Her fathers voice shot up the stairs, jolting her with all the reasons she couldnt work up any passion in Georgetown. I want a word with you.
Honey moved to the door and opened it. Her father stood at the bottom of the stairs, staring up. Is there a fire? she asked sweetly.
Of course not.
Then could I please brush my teeth and get dressed first?
Meet me in the dining room when youre ready. Rafaela will serve lunch shortly.
Lunch? Well, Honey thought, sex was obviously a real insomnia-buster. Will do.
She closed the door again. He could be feeling cantankerous about anything, she thought, from the way shed fled the wedding to the toddies shed made for Jake Ingram, from the way she hadnt answered her mothers summons late last nightshe couldnt bear to have Sarah ruin her mood when shed come back to the houseto the fact that military men never slept until noon, even retired ones. She had no intention of meeting with him to find out which it was. She had two more days, she thought. Just two more precious days with Joe. Two days to explore sex and revel in it. Two days to touch and to feel, to prod him and make him laugh and to be herself. She couldnt take a penniless drifter back to Georgetown with her. Would he anchor in the Potomac while she went about her life and swam out to him nightly? Though maybe the Potomac was far enough removed from the city that it would seem like a different world and her psyche wouldnt avalanche on her.