Though during the day shed seen spitting snow more than once, the night was cold but clear. The moon shone bright in a black sky that was free of clouds at the moment. Luke had insisted on driving her to the motel, even though she could have walked to the clinic and caught a ride from a soldier or even walked directly to the motel. It wasnt that far.
The short ride was silent, a little bit uncomfortable. She felt as if she should say something.
But what?
In her entire thirty-three years, Faith had been a part of two relationships that might be called, by some, romantic. Both partners had been doctors who worked in her field, and both had entered her life as friends first.
Once romance had been introduced to the mix, things had quickly gone wrong. Faith was uncomfortable with the expectations involved in such a relationship. Her own, and those of her partner. Early in her twenties, shed occasionally dreamed of finding a love and passion that made the rest of the world seem insignificant, in spite of the fact that she herself was not a great beauty and never would be.
Her two disastrous so-called romances had taught her to put aside her dreams. She would not change who she was to please a man, set aside her career for his, become second best because it was what he expected of her. That seemed to be what was required to keep a man happy.
Neither of the men shed been involved with had ever made her shiver when she looked at them, the way she sometimes did when she laid her eyes on Luke. Yes, he was handsome, but her reaction to him went deeper than an admiration for his obvious beauty.
There had been such a sparkle in his eyes when hed talked about teaching her to fish. And when hed said hed teach her to dance.
Her one attempt at learning to dance had been a disaster. Shed been seventeen at the time, and so worried about each and every move that shed become confused and tripped over her own feet. The idea of dancing with Luke was interesting, even though she knew it was impossible. He would never hold her close and guide her across a smooth dance floor while whispering in her ear. But if he did, when he whispered he would say
Heaven above! She was apparently as foolish today as shed been when shed been young and silly enough to believe in great love and passion. Again she wrote her response to Dr. Winston off to her relentlessly ticking biological clock.
No, that clock no longer ticked. It pounded. Each second roared past.
Luke pulled into a parking space at her door, put the SUV into park and turned to look at her. Ill pick you up in the morning.
Thats not necessary, Faith said, dismissing her daydreams. I will probably go in very early again. Ill call the clinic and have
I dont care what time you plan to get to work, Im going to pick you up and were going in together.
She gave in too easily. Okay. Pick me up at four.
He didnt look too terribly stunned, but there was a telling lift to his eyebrows. A.m.?
She smiled. Its not too late to back out.
No way. Four a.m. it is.
Faith laid her hand on the door handle, but before she could open the door Luke stopped her with his hand on her shoulder. I dont think I ever thanked you for everything youve done since you came here.
She glanced back. You did.
Not enough. Without your new antibiotic, there would be more infected people laid up right now, and theres no telling how many of my patients would be dead. Benjy and Tyler, without doubt, would be gone. Others too, Im sure.
I was just doing my job.
Youre damn good at what you do, he said. I might not have greeted you warmly when you first arrived, but, FaithIm very glad youre here.
Luke didnt drop his hand from her shoulder and say good-night. He leaned toward her, slowly. Gently.
Im going to kiss you, he said as he moved slowly nearer. If you want me to stop, nows the time to speak up.
Faith held her breath. Why would Luke want to kiss her? As a way of conveying his thanks? No. That wasnt it. She saw the expression in his eyes; hed looked very much this way when hed talked about fishing. His interest in kissing her had nothing to do with the virus that had brought her to Carson County. Judging by his eyes and the set of his mouth and the tension in his neck, his interest mirrored her impossibly unrealistic daydreams.
Moving away, saying good-night and jumping out of the car before his mouth touched hers would be the wisest course of action. Faith always, always, took the wisest course of action.
So why didnt she move away?
Lukes mouth was soft and warm, and he barely brushed it against hers. Faith held her breath as the sensation of his lips on hers shook her to her very core. Her bodys response to something so simplea brush of lip, the faintest impression of tonguesurprised her.
No, it rattled her. She wanted to grab Luke and hang on tight, deepen the kiss, ask for more.
If she invited him to come inside with her, would he say yes? Of course he would. If she expressed an interest in taking him into her bed, would he consent? Almost certainly. Perhaps one evening with Luke in her bed would put an end to the unexpected demands of her traitorous body.
Good-night, she said quickly, throwing the door open and stepping into the cold parking lot.
See you in the morning, Luke said, apparently not at all affected by the brief kiss.
She let herself into her room, her fingers fumbling slightly as she inserted the key into the lock. Luke didnt pull away until she was inside with the door locked behind her.
Faith got ready for bed calmly and rather quickly, her mind on everything but the simple nightly rituals. When she climbed into bed, her short cotton pajamas much too lightweight for the cool Montana night but comfortable in the warm room, her mind did not stop spinning.
The virus and all the questions still attached.
The phone call from Jake Ingram.
Luke and the way he kissed.
Fishing.
She could do nothing about the first two dilemmas. The virus would be waiting for her in the morning, and as for the phone call, she had almost completely dismissed it as a prank of some kind. If she had the time, shed research this Jake Ingram and the stories about the genetically engineered children.
But not tonight. She was tired. Exhausted, really. Much more drained than she should be. Any energy she possessed had to be directed toward ending the epidemic in Carson County. Tonight she had no excess energy.
So she closed her eyes and thought about that kiss. Faith had always been very aware of her body. Heart rate, blood pressure, body temperature. With a minimum of effort she could monitor them all. How old had she been when shed realized that not everyone had the same gift? Late into her teens, she supposed.
Right now, her heart rate, BP and body temp were all slightly elevated. Not only that, something deep inside her quivered. It was a primal craving, an instinctive cry.
She wanted Luke, in a way she had never wanted another man. She wanted him to hold her, kiss her again, part her thighs and fill her. Just the imagining made her quiver.
If she were a bold woman, she would call Luke right now. She would ask him to come back to her. Now. Quickly. Touch me.
And he w
ould say yes.
Faith didnt reach for the phone to call Luke. Of course she didnt. The days when shed been foolish enough to even consider such an action were long behind her. She set her mental clock, the only alarm she ever needed, for three-forty and drifted into a restless sleep.
Luke stood beside Abbys crib, staring down at his sleeping daughter. She was so beautiful. So pure and good. She was also the light of his life, the only thing that had kept him on his feet and functioning for the past ten months.
He should be asleep, but his mind wouldnt rest.
For ten months he had blamed himself for Karens death and mentally prepared himself to live the rest of his life alone. The guilt hed felt when hed buried his wife was not gone, but it had faded to a point where he could live with himself. There were so many reasons to blame himself for everything that had happened. He hadnt loved his wife enough. If theyd been living in a bigger city with a first-class hospital, maybe Karen would be alive today.
Logically, he knew that wasnt true. The aneurysm that had killed Karen would have killed her no matter where shed been. Shed been dead before the sheriff had called; shed died so quickly no one could have saved her. And still, knowing she had hated it here made him wonder, in the recesses of his mind, if maybe, just maybe
Luke had tried to put the maybes aside so he could function. He had Abby, he had his work. He didnt need anything else. That was how hed survived to this point. Numb. Going through life like a robot.
In a matter of days, Faith had changed that. God help him, he wanted her so bad he ached with it. He had taken that kiss tonight, knowing it was wrong, knowing he could ruin a budding friendship, knowing nothing could come of what he felt for her. One kiss, hed told himself. One quick, passionless kiss.
The kiss had been quick, but it had not been passionless. It had taken every ounce of strength he had to keep his hands off her, and quiet and still as Faith had been, hed seen and felt the deep response in her. She wouldnt have run from him so quickly if she hadnt felt some of what he did. The kiss had scared her.
Nothing could come of this. Faith was a highly respected epidemiologist who traveled almost constantly. She was intelligent and beautiful and driven, and if she wanted a man she could certainly have her pick.
Luke was a country doctor who liked his life as it was, or had until Faith had arrived to turn everything upside down. What did they have? Nothing. There was no middle ground, no grand possibilities, no hope for a future of any kind.
But they had today, didnt they? And tomorrow. And maybe a few more days after that. It wasnt enough, but if it was all he could have hed take it.
He had thanked Faith for saving the lives of so many of his patients, and she seemed uncomfortable with his genuine and perfectly understandable gratitude. How could he ever thank her for waking him from his long, dark sleep? Thanks to Faith, Luke finally realized that he was still alive. He hadnt buried his hopes with Karen; he hadnt died with her.
He could live again, and he could laugh. He could appreciate the simple power of a kiss, savor the sensation of a womans soft skin beneath his fingers. Like any man, he could hunger for a womans touch.
And maybe, just maybe, he could love again.
Seven
F aith was scared. So scared. Her heart was beating a hundred and twenty beats per minute, she had begun to sweat and she couldnt breathe deeply. No matter how she tried, she could not take a deep breath.
She was frightened and confused and running for her life, and she was ten years old again.
There were five of themand then there were four. Where was Gideon? Faiths heart began to pound. She was lost in darkness, but at least she wasnt alone. Run. Hide. Stick together, now and forever. She couldnt see, but she could hear the frantic footsteps of her siblings. She could not see their faces, she did not know their names, but she knew they were a part of her. They were family.
A loud noise, a flash of light, flames, and suddenly Faith was no longer running; she was drowning. Water filled her lungs, a strong current dragged her down, and there was a bone-chilling darkness. Im going to die.
Just when she thought there was no hope, strong arms captured her, steadied her and pulled her to the surface. She knew, with a surge of hope, who had saved her in her darkest moment. It was Mark who dragged her from the depths of the ocean and into the light. Mark. Her brother.
Faith! Mark cried. She almost saw his face, through her tears and the salt water in her eyes, but he remained an elusive figure. Breathe. Please breathe.
She blinked, and his face became more definedbut his features were not crisp enough to suit her. They faded and blurred in the most frustrating way. She wanted to see Mark so badly. More than that, she needed to see his face. He had the brightest smile.
Dammit, Faith!
The sharp words dragged her clumsily and quickly into the world of the waking. The dream was gone in an instant, and as soon as her eyes were open, she began to forget. For a moment she tried to hang on to that feeling of belonging that had cut through the fear, but it all faded, as she looked up and directly into Lukes worried face.
He sat on the side of her bed, one hand still gripping her arm too tightly.
What are you doing here? she asked, shaking off what remained of the dream.
I came by to pick you up, he explained, as planned. A muscle in Lukes jaw twitched; his neck corded with tension. He abruptly released her arm. I pounded on the door for several minutes, but you didnt answer. I got worried so I called your room on my cell phone. When you didnt pick up, I phoned the clinic to see if you were there. When Dr. Helm said he hadnt seen you since you left last night, I panicked.
Faith glanced at the bedside table. Not only had her internal alarm clock failed her, but shed slept deeply while the phone not two feet from her head rang. How did you get into my room?
I woke up Eugene, the motel manager, Luke explained. Hes the one who let me in. Suddenly the man hovering above her looked less anxious and more than a little sheepish. It was either that or break down the door.
I cant believe I was sleeping so deeply, Faith said. She realized that her gown was twistedand too thin to wear in mixed companyso she pulled the bedcover to her chest.
Faith had never had a man sit on the edge of her bed as she came awake. And this wasnt just any man, it was Luke. He was a vision any woman might like to wake up to, very masculine, enticing even to a woman who was never enticed. Dressed in flannel and denim and a heavy coat, his hair slightly mussed as if hed run his fingers through it several times this morning, his shoulders broad and his legs long, he was unexpectedly tempting. Even in her waking moments, Faith Martin never gave in to temptation!
Lukes weight made the mattress dip, and it was an effort for Faith to keep herself from gently sliding into him. She still remembered last nights kiss. How could she not? The position she found herself in this morning was very intimate, intriguing. Something deep inside her wanted to let loose and drift into and against the man on her bed. Faith pointedly ignored that temptation, as she ignored all others.
Luke reached out and touched her face, very gently. Faith reacted, tensing momentarily then relaxing and allowing herself to enjoy the caress.
A deep s
leeper, he said. Im glad thats all it was. I feel like an idiot for overreacting, but
But what?
I thought you were sick, he said gently. Youve been handling that stuff more than anyone. I know youve been careful. I know you claim you never get sick. Still He shrugged his shoulders and glanced away. Lets just say I was worried and leave it at that.
Faith nodded. What had she been dreaming about that made her tremble still? It was more than Lukes presence here that made her quiver. Something of a dream clung to her, made her blood rush cold through her veins. She could not remember the nightmare, and in truth she didnt want to. This moment was much nicer than any dream, good or bad.
The rescue was unnecessary, but I do thank you, she said. It was very nice of you to be worried.
When Luke did not respond, she glanced up to see that he had his eyes locked on her in an intense and not entirely casual way. She shivered but hid the response by shifting the covers and pulling them closer.
Whos Mark? he asked in a lowered voice.
Wide-eyed and confused, Faith answered, I have no idea.
You called out his name in your sleep.
I dont know anyone named Mark. She believed that statement, for a moment, and then a few of Jake Ingrams words penetrated the fog. Dont you remember Mark? The two of you were so close. No, she said more forcefully. I dont know anyone by that name.
Luke kept a close eye on Faith all day. He didnt understand what was happening to her, but whatever it was, he didnt like it. She looked as though she hadnt slept at all, and shed eaten practically nothing for breakfast. Hed walked into her lab once and caught her rooting around in the trash can. Shed looked so guilty when shed glanced up and found him there that he hadnt even bothered to ask what she was searching for.
The citizens of Rockland were unhappy about being quarantined, but they made the best of the situation by granting telephone interviews and sharing their opinions with the reporters who had been quarantined along with the citizens. Rockland Fever was big news, especially now that the public knew the virus had been manufactured in a lab. Bioterrorism had struck in the heartland; everyone was vulnerable. If it could happen here, it could happen anywhere.
Family Secrets: Books 5-8 Page 79