“Like I said yesterday, this is me. I’d love to play Uno with you again though. There’s more of you that I want to get to know as well.”
I instantly blush at his remark.
He stretches an arm across the back of my seat. I feel his fingers gently move across my scalp as he plays with my hair. The gesture is not lost on me. He has been all sorts of touchy feely today, and I like it.
“You want to go back to my place, and order some Chinese? If, of course, you even like it. Shit.” He shakes his hand.
“Stow your cuss words. I love Chinese.”
He nods his head in acceptance this time.
“What?” my voice betrays me with the screech in my tone.
“It’s just funny that you were mad because I lifted you off of a table where you were provocatively dancing in front of horny ass college guys, but here you are telling me not to cuss.”
Time for honesty. “That’s not me, you know.”
“Who are you then, Adaley Knight?”
I tilt my body to the side to face him. Only the center console separates us. He makes eye contact with me and then glances back to the road ahead. “I love The Jonas Brothers; I almost made it to the Olympics; and I happen to love crab Rangoon. How about some honesty from you? Who is the little boy in the photograph at the gym that you got all uptight about?”
From a few inches away, I can see all of the color drain from his face.
This is the point where he normally withdraws from me, so I’m surprised when he opens his mouth to speak. “It’s Aaron Harris. He was Richie’s older brother.”
The word was hits me in the chest.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought it up.”
“Don’t be sorry. He was a good kid. He had a lot of potential, but that only goes so far in the projects.” The look in Ryle’s eyes becomes as unreadable as stone.
“What happened? Never mind. I don’t mean to pry. You can take me home if you want.” I awkwardly clear my throat.
“Just because I made it a bad habit of shooting you down before, doesn’t mean I will now. Look,” his gaze meets mine. “I’m sorry for acting like an ass. I’m sorry for being so guarded. I want this.” His hand reaches across the center console and grabs mine. “Whatever this is. There doesn’t even need to be a label. I just want to continue to hang out and get to know you. I like you, Adaley. I may have been too stubborn to admit it before, but I’ve felt this way for a minute now.”
“A minute, huh? I’m glad to hear you say that, because you make my heart smile,” I confess. And I don’t even give a damn about how cheesy I sound.
“Now that’s settled, let’s go get some grub.”
We end up getting take-out from Number 1 Chinese and heading back to Ryle’s apartment. I’m a little leery as to what I’m going to find. After all, Zoe was just there the night before getting her freak on with Kaiser.
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Nothing has ever stopped you before,” he laughs, as he puts the car into park.
“Why did you loan your apartment out to Kaiser yesterday? You know they hooked up in there, right?” Biting my lip, I look away.
“No. Look at me.” I turn my attention back to him. “Just between us, his dad is a dick that likes to get trashed and lay his hands on him. I have a soft spot for Kaiser. He’s sort of like the brother I never had, beatings and all.”
My heart hits the floorboard under my feet. “Please don’t tell me more. Not about you, but Kaiser. I don’t want to look at him differently at work. If he wants to tell me, that’s on him. The same goes for you. I know something horrible happened in your past. I see it in your eyes. They’re always so cloudy and distant looking.”
“I had a shit childhood. End of story.”
As usual, even when he said he wouldn’t withdraw from me again, in true Ryle fashion—in the end—he does what he is best at. Jerking the brown paper bag from my lap, he quickly gets out of the car and slams the door. My body tenses at the sound.
He’s hot one minute and so cold the next. I can’t ever read him. All I know is that no one should have to be fearful of their own flesh and blood. I have an inkling that’s his big secret. Poor Kaiser and poor Ryle. I can’t imagine my father laying a hand on me. Has he ever been madder than all get out? Absolutely. But he would never allow it to fester so badly that he would harm me.
I swing open my door and slide out of the passenger seat. Craning my neck, I look around the parking lot. Ryle’s not in sight. Lovely, I think as I lean back against the doorframe. It seems like time stretches on forever as I stand there. I don’t even know where I am, and I am alone in the lot.
Whatever. I’m over this.
I pull my phone out of my pocket and text Zoe.
Me: Stranded.
Zoe: Where?
The sound of footsteps tapping against the blacktop makes me jerk my head up. I see Ryle approaching, and he looks furious. I try to disguise my frustration and fail miserably. “Why do you look pissed? I’m the one you left out here. I don’t even know where the hell I am. It was a pretty lame move, Ryle. You can either take me home, or Zoe can be on her way,” I breathlessly demand, withholding that I never even told her where I was.
“Stay,” he mutters anxiously.
“Give me one reason to.”
He reaches forward and runs a hand through my hair. Our eyes meet and hold their gaze. “Because I’m absolutely in like with you. It’s maddening. I don’t know how to act or respond in this situation, because I’ve never been in it. Not one time in my entire life, have I ever had to worry about the feelings of someone else.”
To my annoyance, those damn butterflies stir to life in my stomach. I try my best to stand my ground. “This is getting old though, this back and forth nonsense. One minute I think that we’ve overcome that obstacle and the next, you pull a little stunt like this. I know we’re not together, together, but if we both admitted that we like one another, why does this keep happening?”
“I’m a royal fuck up, that’s why.”
I cup Ryle’s face in my hands. “Don’t ever say that about yourself. Did you just fuck up? Yes. But you shouldn’t continue to beat yourself up about it,” I scold, trying to get past this weird situation.
“That word sounds so sexy coming out of that innocent mouth.”
Before I have time to respond, his mouth claims mine. My phone starts to buzz in my hand, and my core tightens all at the same time. As his mouth moves over my lips, his tongue finds mine, and he removes my phone from my hand. Without looking, he presses the silence button on the side. “That was—.” He presses against my mouth tighter, making it impossible to talk. I pull back a little. “Probably Zoe. Told her I was stranded—.” I feel the palms of his hands cupping the sides of my head.
“Stop talking, please.”
I feel my body being lifted in the air. I wrap my legs tightly around his waist and pray that no one gets a free show, since I’m wearing a dress. With each stride forward, a delicious shudder warms my body from head to toe.
Ryle flings a door open and steps inside. I don’t even care to pull myself away from him to get a look at his place. All I care about is the synchronized dance our tongues are performing.
“I’m going to lay you back on the couch, but I’m not forcing you to do anything all right? We can just lie there and kiss. I promise.”
“What if I want to do more?”
“I only have so much willpower, Adaley,” he warns through panted breaths. “I know you haven’t done this before.”
I feel as if cold water is being poured over my head. My defenses go up. “Does it matter?” I quickly say, as I tilt my head up to kiss his neck. I pray that it will feel so good that he forgets his question.
“Yes, it matters.” He sits up. My body instantly misses his expert touch.
“Why? Why does it matter?” I shoot up as well, jerking my dress down hastily in the process.
“Because it does,”
he rubs the back of his head feverishly. “No. Listen. It doesn’t mean anything bad. It just means that we need to take our time. I don’t want you to regret anything or wish that you had given that gift to someone other than me.”
“Do you like me less because…because I’m a virgin?” I can feel the heat in my face reach the tips of my ears. I cannot believe I just said that word out loud.
“What? Are you kidding? Adaley, knowing that no man has ever tasted you—touched you in that way—makes me fucking ecstatic. I thought…I really thought that you were more experienced though. I mean, you spent your first few weeks here parading yourself around and binge drinking. You’re not like any virgin I’ve ever met.” Ryle catches me scrunching my nose in distaste. “I mean, you are the only virgin I’ve ever met. But it’s not a bad thing. It’s hot, actually.”
“How so?” I try to sound as seductive as possible, while scooting closer to him on the couch.
The mood in the room shifts as the sexual tension becomes almost palpable.
I feel the tips of Ryle’s fingertips stroke the side of my arm. “You’re going to make me say it?
I simply nod.
“I’m a man, Adaley, so I don’t mean this to sound disrespectful, but to be the only guy to slide into your perfectly tight pussy…” he coughs. I blush. “It’s a giant turn on. I can’t explain it. Just know that it means something that you’re not like the rest of the college population.”
“Are you?”
“What, like the rest of the college population?”
I stifle a laugh. “Yes.”
“I’ve had my fair share of women, I’m not going to lie. But do I boast it around like some guys? Hell, like half of the baseball team? No way. I’ve never been a kiss-and-tell kind of guy. Although most of my hook ups were one-night stands, it’s still personal. Whatever I’ve done in my past doesn’t matter anymore. All that matters is us. Our future.”
“That’s some deep stuff right there.” I fight the urge to jump up and down like a schoolgirl, and try to play it cool.
I don’t know where we go from here. We’re both frozen, staring at the other. Does he want to make a move? Do I want him to? Yes. Of course. But now that we’ve opened the door to this little discussion, there’s one more thing that I want to know.
“Have you ever had sex with Naomi?”
“It seems like she’s always on your mind, so I’ll tell you the truth.” His mouth twists. “A long time ago, we messed around. I’m telling you right now, there is nothing to be jealous of. What we had, or didn’t have, is in the past. Does she still try to get under my skin? Hell yeah she does, and it’s annoying as hell. But I want you to know the truth.”
“I just don’t understand. She’s always around. She makes it seem like you two have a thing going on. If you truly don’t, then why does it seem that way?”
“We live together,” he says. His voice resigned.
I pull my hand away from Ryle’s embrace. I tilt my neck every which way, while I glance around the living room looking to find some evidence or a trace that a woman lives in this apartment.
“Wait. That came out wrong. We did live together. Our parents. Fuck. We were adopted by the same people. Naomi was there before I was. We were both screwed up teenagers who found solace in one another. Eventually, I wanted to stop. Although we’re not related at all, people knew we were adoptive siblings, and it got weird. The more I pulled away, the more she clung to me. She still does. Now that you’re in the picture, I think she’s trying to prove something. I don’t care about her though. It’s sad, and I’m going to look like a dick for admitting this, but I never did. She was strictly just someone to get me off.”
For the second time, I’m clueless as what to say to his admission. I’ve never heard someone talk so bluntly about sex other than Zoe and Tank. I wonder what they put in the water here in Biloxi?
“Are you sure you don’t have any feelings for her?”
He sneers. “None whatsoever. I never did. It may be wrong, and I sure as hell hope you don’t see me as some heartless bastard now, but I never felt anything romantic toward her. You on the other hand…I do.” He closes the distance I’d put between us. With the flick of his wrist, he gently brushes a strand of hair behind my ear. “I want you to understand me. I want you to know my past—and me—but there’s so much pain there. I want to keep it away from you so you never have to know what it feels like. You’re so pure. This version is…” he places his palm on my chest above my heart.
“This is the real version of me. The girl who drinks like a fish was only a façade.”
“I know.” He leans forward so that our foreheads are touching. “Tell me why you came here. Not my apartment, but Braxton University. I saw your application on Kaiser’s desk. I know you’re from West Virginia. I also know that they have some pretty well known colleges there. So why did you decide to come here, of all places?”
Instead of pulling back to look in his eyes, I keep my head pressed against his. My breath is hot as I open my mouth to talk. “I…” I choke on a truth that I don’t know if I’m ready to share. “I came here to get away from my life. From my overbearing preacher father, my ex-boyfriend... I wanted a fresh start. I needed to figure out who I was without all of them by my side.” I feel okay giving him a half-truth, because it’s not a lie. Those are all reasons behind my decision to come here. I just leave out the biggest one.
“I was adopted when I was in high school,” Ryle begins. “Before the Bensons, my life was chaos at all times. I would fight in alleyways just to prove me that I wasn’t a pussy to the thugs that roamed the street we lived on. I’d steal food from corner stores when our Welfare check was late, and I’d stay up almost every night with my hand on my mother’s back just to make sure that she was breathing.” He pulls his head back slightly, so he’s able to look into my eyes.
He has more courage than I do.
A lone tear falls out of my eye and slides down my cheek. I don’t dare move to wipe it away. “I’m sorry,” I mumble under my breath. Now I know why he’s always so guarded and distant. At our age, I can’t fathom having to have dealt with half the stuff Ryle has had to see. It all makes sense. The center…the soft spot he has for Kaiser because his scumbag father hits him... He deserves nothing but my honesty. Especially now that he’s opened up to me and left himself raw and exposed.
“I calculated everything but falling for you. My intentions for moving were true. I wanted…needed to get away from the sheltered little bubble that I existed in. I had an accident—.”
“You mentioned in the car that you were almost an Olympic gymnast,” he interrupts, before sliding the pad of his thumb down my face to wipe another tear that escaped.
“I am…I was a gymnast. It’s all I was. It defined me. And in the blink of an eye, the purpose for my existence was ripped away from me. That’s the real reason why I decided to transfer colleges. Everyone in my town was hell bent on watching me build my life without gymnastics. It’s like they almost wanted me to fail, just to prove to that gymnastics was all that I had going for me. So I left the only place I’ve ever known, to see who Adaley Knight could be. I admit I was a little lost at first, but from the first time that I first laid eyes on you, I was intrigued.”
“I was probably one of the first guys you saw.”
“Actually, Tank was. Remember you guys were laughing at me in the hallway. Regardless, I was smitten from the beginning, and you wouldn’t give me a second glance.” I look at him quickly, searching for a sign of objection.
“You’re right. Again, I’m sorry for being a moron. If I had known what an awesome chick you were from the beginning, we could have saved some time this semester.” I watch as Ryle’s eyes wander the room and then land back on me. They steadily roam up my exposed thigh.
“I think we’ve gotten to common ground today, don’t you?” My eagerness to move on from this conversation is visible.
“I want you to know how bad I want
you, Adaley. How sexy you are. How many times I’ve jerked off thinking about those sweet, plump lips around me. Have you done that before?”
I force the word no out as I clench my now squeamish legs.
“Come here,” he wraps his arm around my waist and, in one swift motion, he positions me on his lap so my thighs straddle his. We’re nestled together on the couch, and my core is directly above his most tender spot. I beg that he takes me today, like this. I don’t need anything fancy, or even romantic notions that might make me feel like the only girl in the world while I’m surrounded with dollar store candles and cheap wine. What is silently passing between us is so much more. It’s the real deal. It’s a freshly found love trying to bind two souls together.
“We’re going to try something okay?”
I nod, speechless.
“I’m going to walk us through this.”
“Because I’m inexperienced,” I add, my tone salty.
“Yes, and because I want my voice to be what you play back in your mind when you think about this very moment. No one can ever take this away from us.” He jabs my chin with his and nudges my face up before seizing my mouth with his. It’s a frantic, wild kiss that literally takes my breath away.
Before long, my body starts to move. The motion causes my core to rub against his. “This is called dry humping.” As soon as the words leave his mouth, I’m struck with a sense of insecurity. My boyfriend, or whatever he is, has to tell me what dry humping is, like I’m some child sitting through a sex education class. It’s mortifying.
He senses my panic and places his hand under my chin. Positioning my face directly in front of his he says, “Let your body indulge with me without tensing up and becoming self-conscious.”
I listen to his advice and allow him to dictate this moment. With each grind of my hips, I lose more control. Ryle makes wild love to me with his eyes, and I know that with each barely audible moan and grasp on my thigh, that he’s burning for me as I am for him.
Bad Intentions Page 16