Delivering Secrets

by Fiona McArthur

  ‘That’s perfectly all right, Ellie. I’m sorry for intruding.’

  Ellie frowned. ‘You weren’t intruding, and if you’d still like to come around this evening at the same time, I’ll be there.’

  June stared at Ellie, as if weighing up whether she still wanted to discuss the matter, but then she sighed. Her face seemed to sag from its stern lines into that of a sad old lady.

  ‘Please, don’t wait for me but I’ll think about your offer.’ Then the outside door opened and June looked away.

  The first patient of the day was Louise Hollows. Now at thirty-three weeks, she came bouncing in with a mile-wide smile and a bunch of flowers for Ellie.

  ‘You are my new best friend,’ Louise said as she presented the yellow roses, and Ellie burst out laughing.

  ‘Thank you.’ She sniffed the roses. ‘These are beautiful and I needed a lift. Come through. Sit down and tell me all about it. But I’d better take your blood pressure first before you put it up with sordid tales.’

  Louise tried to look prim and offended but still couldn’t keep the wicked smile off her face. Ellie quickly did her observations and then folded her hands in her lap and looked expectantly at Louise. ‘Well, go on. What did your husband do when you went home and seduced him?’

  ‘He nearly had a coronary to start with, but I convinced him it was for the health of both of us. We’ve had a delightful week, though we’ve calmed down a bit now. But there were a few times there we’ll probably remember on our deathbeds.’

  Ellie clapped her hands over her ears and then took them away. ‘And no unwelcome side effects?’

  ‘I did get a few tightenings, as you said I might, but no cramps or pains. We’re both very relaxed now.’

  ‘I’m really pleased for you, Louise. And your husband, of course.’ Ellie smiled. ‘Actually, I’m a little jealous.’ She was joking but Louise pounced on the idea.

  ‘Luke says you’re a widow and you have a four-year-old.’ When Ellie nodded Louise went on, ‘He wasn’t gossiping, I practically had to extract each answer with a knife, but I suspect he knew a lot more than he told me so I’ve decided to ask you.’

  Ellie eyed the new Louise with some caution. ‘Ask me what?’

  ‘If you’d like to come to dinner one evening with us.’ She looked hopefully at Ellie.

  It seemed a nice idea and Ellie nodded. ‘Thank you. I’d like that as long as you don’t think it will be too much work for you.’

  Louise laughed. ‘I do nothing all day and everything will change when the baby is born. I’m always having dinner parties.’

  Ellie wasn’t sure she needed to be the single woman at a dinner party. ‘So there will be other couples there?’

  ‘Probably a few more people, but it’s for fun, not business, so don’t stress.’

  Ellie supposed it was a way to meet people but being with a bunch of couples wasn’t her idea of a relaxing night. Then she shrugged. She really liked Louise. They arranged for the following Wednesday at seven. She’d ask Lil if she would spend a couple of hours in Ellie’s house while Josh was sleeping.

  * * *

  In his rooms, Luke was having trouble concentrating. Each time he saw Ellie between patients he found it harder to look away. She was so vibrant and happy and his patients loved her. And that kiss had knocked him for six.

  He’d spent the night staring at the stars and realised he’d fallen back under Ellie’s spell at her job interview. And it was getting harder to imagine life without her every day.

  But it was going to be hard convincing Ellie of that. He needed a strategy, battle plans, a counter-attack to her not wanting to see more of him.

  * * *

  By five twenty-five Ellie was clock-watching because Luke had been strange all day. She just knew he was going to corner her after work if she didn’t get away smartly. And she wasn’t in the mood to talk to him.

  The last patient was in Luke’s consulting room and Ellie had already turned off her computer. She heard his door open and Ellie picked up her bag and edged towards the exit.

  ‘Ellie?’ She jumped, but it wasn’t Luke.

  She let out her breath. ‘Yes, June?’

  ‘I might leave it until after the weekend.’ June avoided Ellie’s eyes. ‘So don’t expect me.’

  ‘Fine. I’ll see you next week, then.’ Ellie could hear Luke locking the front door. ‘I have to go.’ She opened the back door and called out goodbye to Luke, then scuttled to her car. ‘This is ridiculous,’ Ellie mumbled as she reversed out of the car park.

  By the time she’d picked up Josh and some fish for tea, Ellie was feeling more relaxed. She didn’t know what had come over her. Josh was in his pyjamas, colouring in at the kitchen table, and Ellie was wrapping the fish in foil when the doorbell rang. Ellie sighed. She definitely knew too many people in this town.

  The woman standing at the door brought back a lot of unpleasant memories. But Ellie wasn’t afraid of her.

  ‘Good evening, Mrs Farrell.’ Ellie waited. She wasn’t going to make it easier for her, even though Luke’s mother did look more aged than the ten years that had passed warranted.

  ‘May I come in?’ The voice was the same. Well bred, layered with innuendo and superficially friendly.

  ‘If you wish.’ Ellie pushed open the screen door and stood back. ‘Please, go through to the lounge. I’ll be there in a minute.’

  Ellie’s gut instinct was to keep Josh away from her visitor and she slipped into the kitchen to warn him.

  ‘Just stay in here until Mummy’s visitor has gone. We want to have a private talk.’

  ‘OK, Mum.’ Josh didn’t even look up. Ellie heaved a sigh of relief and closed the door after her.

  Mrs Farrell was staring at the poster of the cove that Luke had noticed the other night.

  ‘Is that Bell’s River cove?’

  ‘No,’ Ellie said shortly. It had just looked so much like it that Ellie had had to buy the print. Ellie waited for the woman to sit down in the chair opposite hers and then she seated herself. ‘What can I do for you, Mrs Farrell?’

  The brown eyes hardened and all pretence of civility vanished. ‘You could leave my son alone.’

  It was like Anthea all over again. She really had stirred up some ill feeling by coming back. Elsa Farrell was such a bitter old woman it was a wonder she didn’t have an ulcer. Ellie shook her head. ‘Haven’t you interfered enough?’

  ‘Obviously not. If you’ve come back.’ Mrs Farrell glared at Ellie. ‘You are the wrong kind of woman for my son. He tells me he has broken off his engagement to Anthea. He was happy with Anthea and they were a fine couple—until you came back! You’ll never fit into his life.’ She curled her lip. ‘I can’t imagine you on a hospital committee. You’re a transient and he’s a conservative country obstetrician.’ She stood up and Ellie could see she was shaking. ‘My son is too good for you and I’ve already lost one son because of an alliance to an ill-bred nobody.’

  That was almost too much for Ellie. Contempt for herself she could shrug off from the old biddy, but not contempt for Belinda. The woman was so bitter it was a wonder she woke up every day. Ellie struggled with her temper but control was hard won as she stood and then walked to the door to show the woman out. She could think of a hundred scathing things to say to this woman but that would only bring her down to Elsa Farrell’s level. So she chose to say nothing, convinced that her actions spoke more than words in this instance.

  Ellie opened the door and both women were careful not to brush against each other as the older woman left.

  They both saw Luke at the same time.

  ‘Good evening, ladies.’ His face was carefully expressionless. ‘What a surprise to see you here, Mother?’ The question mark at the end of the sentence was clear.

  Mrs Farrell tilted her cheek for Luke to kiss and smiled in Ellie’s direction, daring her to contradict. Ellie had to hand it to the witch—she couldn’t regain her own control that quickly.

  ‘I wa
s passing and thought I’d drop in. I’ve been upset by the misunderstanding we had on the phone all those years ago and wanted to apologise to Ellie. I think we’ve sorted everything out now.’

  She glanced at Luke. ‘But it’s time for me to leave. Will I be seeing you later this evening?’

  ‘Not tonight, Mother. Perhaps tomorrow evening, if you haven’t any plans.’

  She turned towards the gate. ‘Goodnight, then, Luke. Ellie.’

  Ellie didn’t say anything and Luke covered the few steps up the path to her door. ‘Has she been here long?’

  Ellie counted to ten then gave him a dark look. ‘I don’t wish to discuss your mother or her visit. We clearly disagree where she is concerned.’ She stepped back towards her door. ‘What brings you here tonight, Luke?’

  ‘Not what.’ He pulled a battered and old-fashioned child’s school case from behind his back and shook it until it rattled. ‘Who. I’ve come to see Josh.’

  That startled Ellie and she took a step back. ‘What has my son to do with you?’ A fleeting grimace crossed his face and she winced at her lack of tact.

  He smiled grimly and glanced down at the school case. ‘I found this full of my old toy cars and I thought he might like them. They live in the bag so even if you have to move, it’s easy to pack them.’

  His smile was nonjudgmental and Ellie felt herself unconsciously lean towards him.

  When she didn’t answer he lifted his brows in question. ‘Do you mind?’

  Ellie couldn’t resist him. And she needed something to take her mind off his horrible mother and her visit. But she felt guilty. Josh was off colour and lust for a man was the last thing she should be thinking of. She sighed miserably, but held open the door.

  ‘Come in. He’s through here.’

  Ellie went through to the kitchen and Luke followed. Josh was sitting up at the table—fast asleep. She cast a worried look at Luke and hurried over to where his head lay on his hands. ‘He keeps doing this and it’s scaring me.’

  ‘He’s probably just tired.’ Luke could see that Ellie was upset. ‘If you’re concerned, I have a good friend, Rob Donald, who’s the paediatrician at the base hospital. He comes up here once a week on a Friday to do a clinic—why don’t I get you an appointment next Friday and you can get Josh thoroughly checked out? We can do some blood work on Wednesday so that the results are through for Friday.’

  Ellie nodded gratefully. ‘That would be wonderful. Thank you. I’ll put him to bed.’

  ‘Let me.’ Luke scooped Josh carefully into his arms and Ellie felt like something tore in her chest. It should have been Steve carrying Josh but the tragedy was that she couldn’t wish for it not to be Luke. She hoped Steve would forgive her if he was looking down.

  ‘Which way?’ Luke was standing there with Josh in his arms and she was on another planet.

  Flustered, Ellie hurried out into the hallway. ‘Sorry. This way.’ She scooted ahead to Josh’s bedroom and turned down Josh’s duvet so that Luke could slip Josh into bed.

  Luke stepped back and Ellie bent over her son to arrange him comfortably and drop a kiss on his cheek. They left the bedroom door open as they went back to the kitchen and Ellie looked at the half-prepared meal. Suddenly she felt close to tears. ‘He hasn’t had any tea.’

  Luke came across and put his arm around her shoulders and to Ellie it felt so right. ‘Did he have breakfast and lunch?’

  Ellie nodded and felt better. She drew a shuddering breath. ‘You’re right. He won’t starve, but usually he has such a good appetite. Maybe it’s the move that’s disturbed his routine. But we’ve moved before and he’s never been tired like this. I can’t help thinking of Steve.’

  Luke hugged her once and when she didn’t respond he stepped back. ‘Steve was different. It’s probably just starting preschool but it’s natural to worry. He’s your baby.’

  Ellie half laughed at the truth of the statement and looked down at the fish again. ‘Would you like to stay for tea?’

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  ‘I CAN be persuaded.’ Luke tilted his head sagely. ‘And the coincidence is that I have a bottle of chilled Sauvignon Blanc in my car right at this moment.’

  Ellie gave him an old-fashioned look. ‘That is a coincidence.’

  ‘So, if I go out and get it, will you let me back in?’ He looked so young all of a sudden she felt like she’d been whisked back ten years.

  She blinked and then he was back to the Luke she saw at work. A different man to the one she remembered but one she could lean on if she chose to. But that would involve Josh sharing her with Luke, and Josh had lost one parent’s attention before he’d even had it. Romance wasn’t something she should be thinking of, especially when Josh was unwell and needed her.

  But Josh was asleep. And Ellie needed Luke tonight—just this once.

  She looked up at him and slowly she smiled. ‘I suppose I have to, seeing as how you’re giving me a referral to your friend and not charging me for it.’

  Later, Ellie sat dreamily hip to hip on the lounge with Luke, and his arm rested along her shoulders in the most comforting way. Desultory conversation had come and gone, with some easy silences thrown in.

  Ellie couldn’t pinpoint the gradations of the end product, this ambience, but it felt remarkably right as they sat there. Quiet music played in the background and Ellie sipped at her wine. ‘How did we get to this point already?’

  ‘We’re fatally attracted and there’s nothing we can do about it.’ His words were flippant but the tone wasn’t, and Ellie stiffened.

  ‘I do not want to fall in love with you, Luke. I’m serious about that. My life is full already and will be for the next fifteen years.’

  He turned to look at her. ‘Do you really think we can control when we do or don’t fall in love?’ He’d been trying to fall in love with Anthea for six months and the best he’d been able to achieve for her had been admiration.

  When Ellie had turned up at his surgery it had taken ten minutes to fall back in love with her.

  It had taken less than a fortnight for him to break off his sensible engagement to Anthea.

  And already he knew he had to find a way to ensure Ellie would never leave again. He hadn’t been able to control any of it. He hoped to heaven she couldn’t either.

  ‘Can’t you give us a chance?’ he said.

  Ellie looked into his face and saw a man that she admired more than any other man. His kindness, compassion and even his loyalty to his mother were all admirable facets of his character. But that wasn’t why he was dangerous to her.

  If she committed herself to Luke it would be like a holocaust. The fire would consume her as it had ten years ago. Tall, handsome, assured and absolutely besotted by her. She’d felt like a queen when he’d looked at her—which had been a huge improvement on the usual travelling minstrel persona of her teenage years.

  But even then, the longer she’d known him the more she’d come to depend on him being there. Until the thought of a day going by without seeing him had frightened her into going to extreme lengths to arrange meetings.

  When Ellie’s mother had said they were leaving, a part of her had breathed a sigh of relief that she would have to make the break. The other part had cried for a long time.

  She didn’t need that intensity again. She didn’t want to lose who she was, where she was going or all the independence that she craved. And then, when she was nothing but a part of him, she’d be at the mercy of a fickle fate that might whisk him away and leave her behind. It would be a hundred times worse than when she’d lost Steve. She was like a lemming, to have come back here.

  She and Josh were a team. And after Belinda’s baby was born, they’d leave. She just had to resist Luke for another month. And she would. But she needed him now. She’d finish it after tonight. As if in a dream, she drifted over to close the lounge-room door into the hallway and then turned back to face him.

  ‘Kiss me, Luke.’

  He pulled her gently towa
rds him and onto his lap and his arms came around her. She tilted her head to look into his face and was lost. When his lips came down on hers firmly and surely to stake a claim, she drew him into her as if this was her last chance to be a part of him.

  He groaned and his arms tightened around her as the kiss deepened and they were swept away. His hand slid from her shoulder to the buttons of her shirt and pushed the material aside to gain access to the softness of her.

  When he covered her breast with his fingers she moaned softly for the aching sweetness of it took her breath away. She needed to feel him against her, all of him, skin to skin, and she fumbled with the buttons of his shirt blindly and desperately.

  He drew back a little to give her access. ‘I want you, too, sweetheart,’ he murmured against her lips. ‘Let me help you.’ He pulled his own shirt over his head and lifted hers off just as easily. She shuddered as he pulled her back against his chest and she rubbed against him like a cat, purring with the delicious sensation of his skin against hers.

  When she reached for his zipper his hand stilled her. ‘Not here,’ he whispered, and Ellie froze for a moment as she tried to orientate herself. Of course. Suddenly her skin felt as cold as ice.

  She slid away from his arms and stood up, crossing her hands over her breasts. Feverishly she picked up her discarded shirt and she could feel his eyes on her as she tried to restore her clothing. Ellie realised the depth of his possession of her. She had been so immersed in her feelings for Luke, and her lust for him, that she had been prepared to ravish him on her lounge-room floor.

  Regardless of the chance that Josh could come in and see them.

  It had started already. Her priorities seemed to be changing, despite her resolve, and Josh’s standing was threatened by how she felt about Luke.

  And while her son was sick, for heaven’s sake. She sickened herself.

  She shivered in horror at the thought of Josh finding his mother making love with a man. It was symbolic. She had shut the door against her son. She flung open the door, ignoring Luke’s voice as he tried to settle her.