Secrets of a Sinner

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Secrets of a Sinner Page 8

by Yolonda Tonette Sanders


  “I see that someone is very happy today.” Aneetra startled Natalie when she walked into the break room.

  “Hey, what’s up?” Natalie said and put her coins into the machine. She really wanted the chocolate, but since she had only been to the gym once this week, she settled for the granola bar instead.

  “What were you standing there grinning about?”

  “Nothing...I didn’t even realize I was.”

  “Yeah—you were. You had a huge smile plastered all over your face. Is there some good news you would like to share?”

  “No.” Natalie avoided making eye contact and unwrapped her granola bar.

  Aneetra put some change in the machine and got out a diet soda. “How’s everything going with the house?” she asked, popping open her drink.

  “Good. Lynn has had several inquiries, but no one has made an offer yet.”

  “Give it time. I’m sure all will go well.” Aneetra sat down at one of the round tables in the room. “Are you staying in here?”

  “No, I need to go make a phone call.”

  “Okay, I’m sure I’ll talk to you later.”

  By the time Natalie got back to her desk, she’d already eaten her granola bar. She really didn’t have a phone call to make. She’d just said that as an excuse to get away from Aneetra. It seemed like every time she was around that woman too long, she ended up sharing more information about herself than she wanted to. With several minutes of her break still left, and nothing else to do, Natalie pulled her cell phone out of her purse, and decided to call her grandmother.

  “Hello?” Big Mama answered the phone.

  “Hi, it’s Natalie.”

  “Hey, baby.”

  “I’m on break, so I figured I’d give you a call now because I’m not gonna be home tonight.”

  “What do you have planned?”

  “I’m just gonna hang out with a friend of mine,” she answered vaguely, wanting to keep her date that evening private. Natalie had never been the type to bring her boyfriends home. With the exception of Bobby Kendall from high school, she had never introduced her mother to a single one of them, mainly because she assumed that her mother would not support her less-than-conventional relationships. Natalie’s motives for getting involved with men had always fallen into the categories of either sex or money, sometimes both. Neither was likely to warrant parental approval, so she didn’t even bother with formal introductions. Her interest in Troy had more to do with desiring companionship than wanting his money or sex...although the clearly defined muscles carved on his body made physical intimacy quite tempting. Still, Natalie didn’t think loneliness was a good enough reason to tell her grandmother about him.

  “I don’t have anything planned for tonight,” her grandmother added. “But I’ll be gone most of the day tomorrow to a women’s retreat at the church. Um...I’ve been meaning to ask you somethin’.”

  “What is it?”

  “It’s been so long since I’ve seen you, I was wondering if you’d like to come down here for the Fourth of July.”

  Natalie felt the goose bumps sprout over her flesh. Going back to Mississippi wasn’t something she was ready for. “Uh...I don’t think I’ll be able to take the time off work. I won’t even be past my probation by then.”

  “Oh, okay. I want you to know you’re always welcome here. It doesn’t have to be a holiday.”

  “Thanks. I appreciate that.”

  “I’m serious, Natalie.”

  “I believe you... Well, I’d better get off the phone and get back to work. I’ll give you a call next week.”

  “Okay, I love you, baby.”

  “I—I love you, too.”

  * * *

  Natalie and Troy’s first date consisted of dinner and a movie. It was about a quarter to midnight when they pulled into the driveway outside her home. Troy turned off the ignition and they sat silently inside his black Lincoln Navigator for a moment.

  “I had a nice time tonight,” Troy spoke in a manner that tickled Natalie’s stomach.

  “I did, too. Would you like to come in?” She tried to sound casual about it, though the sensation beneath her stomach definitely cried out for them to do more than just hang out. As much as her body craved Troy’s touch, she wasn’t really trying to go there. Plus, it had been months since she’d gotten her birth control shot, so she needed to play it safe.

  “I would love to come in,” he said and followed her up the driveway to the house.

  Natalie opened the door and flipped on the living-room light, instructing him to have a seat while she went to the back. She assessed herself in the bedroom mirror. She had on the halter dress she’d gotten the other week at Nordstrom and was very pleased with how fresh her appearance looked after hours of being out. After spraying a mist of perfume, Natalie joined Troy on the living-room couch and asked, “Can I get you anything?”

  “No, thank you.”

  “You could’ve turned the TV on.”

  “That’s okay. I was hoping you would recite one of your poems to me.”

  “Not gonna happen.”

  “Why not? I thought it was interesting when you told me during dinner that you wrote poetry. The modeling didn’t surprise me, but I would’ve never pictured you as a poet.”

  “And what does a poet look like?”

  “I don’t know. I didn’t mean it as an insult, though. Can you at least tell me what kinds of things you write about?”

  “Put it this way...I’m not one of those the sky-is-blue, grass-is-green poets. I write more about my life and feelings. Writing can be very therapeutic.”

  “Maybe I’ll get to hear one of your poems before you pack up and move back to New York.”

  “We’ll see. Enough about me...what else do you do besides lock up bad guys for a living?”

  “Honestly, my two greatest hobbies are playing basketball and Xbox 360.”

  “Xbox?” Natalie scrunched her face. “Aren’t you a little too old for that?”

  Troy laughed. “Maybe it’s the kid in me, but I love playing. You’ll most likely find me kicked back on my couch playing a game than you would in a club...unless, of course, a pretty lady like yourself asked me to accompany her.”

  “Don’t look at me. I haven’t been to a club in a really long time. It starts to get old after a while.”

  “Yeah, I know what you mean. I partied hard in college and even for a while afterwards until my best friend started getting all religious on me and then moved to Chicago. Now I might go out with one of my friends from work every blue moon, but that’s about it. Trust me, I’d rather be sitting here with you instead of with one of the fellas. You’re much more pleasant to look at.”

  “Um-hmm. I bet you say that to all the ladies.”

  “No, just the ones I find special.”

  “Uh-oh, how many special ones have there been? I’m not gonna get jumped by a dozen baby mamas, am I?”

  Troy laughed. “Not on my account. I don’t have any kids.”

  “Whatever...”

  “Why you say it like that?”

  “Nowadays it’s hard to find a brotha without children. I guess I just assumed...”

  “Well, you’re wrong. I’m not anyone’s baby’s daddy nor do I have any crazy ex-wives running around. I’ve never been married nor had children.”

  “How old are you again?”

  “I just turned thirty-five in April.”

  “And you’ve never been married?”

  “Nope.” Troy’s voice trailed off a bit when he answered.

  She was skeptical about his response. She assumed that most men in their thirties had at least attempted to settle down even if the attempt had been unsuccessful. “I haven’t been married either, but it’s hard to believe that no woma
n has ever dragged you to the altar.”

  “That’s probably what she would have to do—drag me. Getting married and starting a family is not for me. From what I can tell by watching others, both seem to complicate healthy relationships.” He looked at Natalie with an awkward smile. “I think this is the point where you throw me out.”

  “For what?”

  “Most women hear me say that and flip.”

  “Don’t worry. I can relate to how you feel.”

  “You can?” Troy looked surprised.

  “Yeah...I used to want to get married, but for all the wrong reasons. I guess I’ve never found my Mr. Right.” Truthfully, Natalie had never been looking for him. She wasn’t sure what qualities her Mr. Right would have—if he even existed. She’d never allowed herself to become emotionally involved enough even to explore the possibility.

  “What were they?”

  “What?”

  “Your wrong reasons for wanting to get married.”

  Natalie shrugged her shoulders. Telling a guy she’d just met three days ago that she’d previously wanted to marry for money would likely send up a red flag. “Let’s just say that after one very bad experience, marriage is no longer a priority of mine.”

  “It’s good to know that we’re on the same page.” Troy gazed at her for a moment. Natalie could tell that he wanted to kiss her. “It’s late. I’d better get going.”

  “I didn’t know you had a curfew,” she taunted.

  “I don’t. But I’m trying to be a gentleman, and I’m not really sure I can be if I continue sitting here.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked flirtatiously. Instead of answering her question, he leaned over and placed his warm soft lips over hers for the first time that night. Natalie squeezed her thighs together. If he made love anything like he kissed... She warned herself not to go there. She’d had impulsive sex with other men more times than she could recall and, in retrospect, the temporary pleasure didn’t erase the deep-rooted emptiness in her soul. If anything, her sexual behavior added to it. Yet, no matter how much Natalie tried fighting her lust for Troy, her body continually responded to his kisses. One kiss led to another and before she knew it they were introducing each other to their birthday suits.

  Chapter 13

  A Standing Invitation

  As Natalie waited for the elevator, she stood in the lobby thinking about Troy. They had been dating for about two months now. She didn’t know what was becoming of their relationship, but she knew it went a lot deeper than just sex. There was something about him she found addictive. The only time she didn’t think about him was when she was with him.

  When Natalie finally got to her desk and logged onto her computer, she found a global email message from Alex:

  I’m sad to announce that Aneetra Bennett’s mother, Joy Hughes, passed away over the weekend. Many of you know firsthand what a pleasure Aneetra is to work with. Those of us who have lost loved ones know that Aneetra has never failed to share an encouraging word with us. I ask that we now do something to let her know that we care and are saddened by her loss. Since none of us will likely attend the funeral service in Louisiana, I would like to send a floral arrangement to Aneetra and her family on behalf of all Dennison employees. If you would like to contribute please give your donations to Karen Tisdale or myself.

  Having lost her own mother about six months ago, Natalie’s heart ached for what Aneetra had to be going through. Immediately, she went down to Alex’s office and donated money.

  * * *

  Aneetra was off work for two weeks. On the day she returned, Natalie walked over to Aneetra’s cubicle and found her on the phone. “I’ll come back later,” she whispered, but Aneetra grabbed her arm and shook her head no. Natalie leaned against the partition and waited. She scanned all the computer-made scriptures hanging around her coworker’s desk.

  John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

  2 Timothy 1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

  1 John 4:4 ...[G]reater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.

  Aneetra seemed way too deep into the whole religion thing for Natalie, but Natalie couldn’t explain why she was starting to like her or why she was even here at Aneetra’s desk. They were complete opposites. Perhaps Natalie felt compelled to be there because of the incredible patience Aneetra seemed to have with her. Even when she brushed her off, Aneetra remained kind. Natalie had never met a friend like that before.

  “I’ll give you a call later on this week when I get them, and we’ll talk then.” Aneetra ended her call. “Hi, Natalie. Sorry about that.”

  “I just stopped by to see how you were doing. I’m really sorry to hear about your mother’s death. I know what losing a mother feels like.”

  Aneetra reached out and squeezed her hand affectionately. “Thank you so much. It really means a lot to me to hear you say that. I appreciate your kindness.”

  “You’re welcome...I won’t stay. I know you probably have a lot of work to catch up on. I just wanted to welcome you back.”

  “Don’t rush off. Tell me how things are going with you.”

  “Me? I’m doing fine.”

  “Have there been any new developments with the house? I spoke with Lynn when I was in Louisiana, but obviously I didn’t think to ask her how things were going.”

  “Good. Lynn said that there’s a couple who’s really interested. She’s working to get them financing. If all goes well, we should be able to close at the end of this month or sometime in September.”

  “Praise God!” Aneetra cheered. “That’s great!”

  Aneetra’s excitement seemed unusual considering the circumstances. Natalie couldn’t stop herself; she had to ask her about it. “How come you’re so happy?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I—I don’t know. I don’t mean to offend you. You just seem too carefree for someone whose mother passed away recently,” she spoke cautiously.

  Aneetra gave a sly grin. “You didn’t offend me at all. Actually it’s a compliment.”

  “It is?”

  “Yes. It shows that the joy of the Lord must really be working in me, because, Natalie, I don’t feel happy at all.” Her smile quickly faded. “I’m hurting bad. It was a fight for me to get up and come into work this morning. I miss my mother so much. Truth be told, I’m a little mad because I think she got dealt a bad hand. During the years when she should’ve finally been able to enjoy her life, she dealt with one sickness after another.” Natalie couldn’t bear to look as Aneetra’s eyes began to water. “But who am I to complain. She never did.”

  “I’m sorry...maybe I shouldn’t have said anything,”

  “No, don’t be. It’s wonderful that you think I’m handling it well, but make no mistake about it—what you see is the Lord working through me because I know if left on my own, I’d completely fall apart.”

  Natalie stood silent while Aneetra got a tissue off her desk and dabbed her eyes.

  “Do you go to church?”

  “I used to when I was little, but I don’t anymore.”

  “You’re more than welcome to come with my family and me anytime you’d like.”

  Natalie shook her head. “Thanks, but I’m not a churchgoing person.”

  Aneetra smiled. “I said that one time before, too.”

  Natalie sighed with relief when Aneetra’s phone rang. All this church talk was getting to her for some reason. “I’m gonna let you get that. It might be important,” she said.

  “Thanks for coming by. Always remember you have a standing invitation to church with me whenever you want.”

  “Yeah...
okay...”

  Chapter 14

  A Reason to Stay

  From the living-room window Natalie could see the orange leaves being carried in the air by the wind. It was hard to believe October was already here. It seemed like only yesterday she’d lost her mother to breast cancer. At the time, Natalie hadn’t thought she’d make it through, but somehow she had. Now she commemorated her mother’s death by supporting the fundraisers held this month in honor of Breast Cancer Awareness, and proudly displayed a pink ribbon sticker on the back of her car’s bumper.

  Everything of her mother’s that hadn’t been bought during the garage sale had been donated to the Salvation Army, and now Natalie was in the process of getting her new place together. As a result of Lynn closing the deal on the house last month, Natalie had rented a two-bedroom ground-floor apartment in northern Columbus to be closer to her job. She was busy setting up her computer desk in the second bedroom when there was a knock at the door.

  When Natalie looked out the peephole and saw Troy standing there, a bright smile spread across her face and her heart jumped. There was no way she was going to let him see her like this. “Just a sec...” she yelled, and raced across the hardwood floor to her bedroom, peeling off her cut-offs and ripped tie-dyed shirt. She threw on a pair of blue jeans and a polo shirt. Although she’d taken a shower earlier, she still applied some body spray to freshen up.

  Troy knocked again.

  “I’m coming...” She pulled her hair back into a ponytail as she raced to the door, almost tripping over one of her boxes.

  “What took you so long?” He stood, smiling slyly with his hands behind his back.

  Her heart fluttered at the sight of him. “Trust me, you didn’t want to see how I looked.”

  “It’s seeing a person at their worst that lets you know whether you really like them.”

 

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