by Lily White
Turning the bacon with a fork, I sighed, the sound disguised by the meat popping in the pan. Before answering, I pulled it out and placed it on a plate I had sitting nearby before breaking the eggs over to let them fry in the grease. “Is that a problem?”
“Think it will be for your daddy. JD is not a favorite person with Dominion at this point and I’m not sure you know everything that’s going on. I’m not one to blindside people or allow them to walk into situations where they don’t have all the information, so there are some things you need to know before we go rolling out of here.”
Before I could respond, another baritone voice that was rough with sleep answered. “It’s good to see you’re talking about me outside of my presence, Henry. Damn, you can’t even give a man a chance to explain himself can you?” A set of strong arms wrapped around my stomach and lips were pressed to my cheek. “Good morning, beautiful. How are you feeling?”
“I’m good.” My words came out on a whisper while my thoughts were still locked onto what Henry had said. What didn’t I know? What had JD kept from me?
With his arms still wrapped around me, JD bent his head low to whisper in my ear, “Sorry you heard that from him. I’ve been meaning to tell you. I just never found the right time.”
“Well, seems like now is as good a time as any.” Henry’s voice broke into our conversation and JD released me to walk over and take a seat at the table.
“You have ears like a fucking dog, old man. Stay out of private conversations.”
Henry chuckled at JD’s words before saying, “Well then stop being a dumbass and keep your private conversations where other people can’t hear them.”
There was a friendly familiarity between the two men and I finally laughed to hear someone give it to JD as good as he could dish it out. Pulling the eggs from the pan, I put everything onto the plate and carried it over to the table to sit down. “You boys need to eat.”
Both of them shot me a look and wouldn’t touch the plate until I’d taken what I wanted first. I was little thrown off by the gesture. Never in a million years had any of the men at Dominion cared whether my mom or I had eaten before taking the food for themselves. Eventually, we’d gotten smart to the way they were and saved food for ourselves in the kitchen before serving the rest.
Silence sat thick between us as we ate, the only sound being that of the forks scraping against the plastic plates. Eventually, we’d each had our fill and sat back in our chairs, an unanswered question hanging heavily in the air.
Henry was the one to finally break the silence. “I’ll give you the opportunity to tell her, JD, before I open my big mouth again.” The two men looked between each other before JD’s whiskey-colored eyes finally landed on me.
“I killed two of your father’s men when we were leaving Arizona.” He didn’t sugarcoat it, simply blurting it out as if it was a secret he was relieved to finally tell.
Shock rolled through my system and my breath rushed out of my lungs. Remembering back to the day I was taken, the gunfight when we’d fled became clear in my head.
“Which men?”
JD shrugged. “I wasn’t familiar with them. They were both young.”
Henry added the information that JD was unable to give. “Some kids named Jeremy and Butch. From what Joker told me, they were both patched in less than a year before JD killed them. The man wasn’t heartbroken about it, but that’s not to say he was happy about it either.”
My heart felt like it would come through me chest. I was torn between wanting to protect JD and wanting to be angry that he’d gunned down two innocent men. Sure, Jeremy was an asshole and deserved a hard kick in the balls, but he didn’t deserve to die. “How’d they find us? How’d they know you had me?”
Henry answered again and it was obvious JD didn’t have much information to add to the story. “From what Joker tells me, Jeremy saw you getting shoved in the trunk of your car. He called the other brothers and one rode out with him to look for you. When they saw your car driving along, they pulled out to stop it. Their bodies were found by another driver a few hours later.”
I straightened my spine, reaching up to wipe away the annoying tears that threatened to fall from my eyes. I didn’t know Butch well, but he was a sweet guy from what I remembered. Always quiet, he would play guitar during parties at the club and I’d never seen him running around with the club sluts or carrying on like most of the men in Dominion. I didn’t know why it even mattered. I didn’t want anything to do with those assholes again, but it still didn’t mean I wanted anything bad to happen to them. Family was family regardless of whether you chose it or not and regardless of whether or not they were blood. I couldn’t help caring for them.
Without allowing me the time to say anything, Henry continued. “Sweetheart, the reason I’m telling you this is because you need to understand what we’re rolling up into tonight. It’s not going to be hearts and flowers even in the slightest. Those boys blame JD for the death of two of their brothers and also for what happened to you. Ain’t nothing worse than to hear that the daughter of their Prez was…” His voice carried off and I could see him struggling with whatever it was he had to say.
Not wanting to hide from it anymore, I finished the sentence for him. “Raped, tortured … turned into a whore.”
Solemnly, he nodded. “Yeah, kid. I didn’t want to bring it up, but it’s all tied into what we’ll be facing.
As I was chasing away the nightmares that were threatening to tear me apart once again, JD wrapped his arm around me protectively before asking, “So where will we be meeting? I think it would be stupid to roll up on Dominion property considering everything that’s happened. How do we know Joker will stick to his word to not to gun me down?”
Before Henry could answer, I interrupted. “I don’t see why we need to be rolling up anywhere. I don’t want to risk JD’s life. He may have been part of the reason for what happened to me, but it wasn’t entirely his fault. If anything, it was my father’s fault. He’s the one who decided to go around fucking with everybody and pissing them off. Why don’t I just call the bastard, tell him I’m alive and leave it at that? JD and I can head east and put all this shit behind us like we’ve already planned.”
A sad look fell behind Henry’s warm eyes. “Sorry, Holly. That won’t fix anything. Your daddy wants to see you in the flesh to know that you’re really okay. If you and JD were to take off, you’ll always be running. Joker will have every brother in Dominion out there searching for you.”
“He wasn’t searching for me before. He didn’t give a shit that he was starting something that would put me in the line of fire.” Anger vibrated across my body and leaked out into my words. I hated my father. He was the reason my mom was dead. He was the reason I’d been kidnapped and thrown to the wolves. Most of all, the most hurtful part was that he never gave a shit about any of it.
Henry looked away, the truth of my words echoing loud and clear throughout the room. By the time he looked back, his expression betrayed the exhaustion that ran through his body. It was obvious the man had been through hell and back and I felt bad for adding more negativity to what he must have been feeling.
His chair creaked when he sat back against it, his voice taking on a distant tone as if he wasn’t really in the room. “You know, back when I was young and just got patched in, it seemed like things were different. There was an unspoken code amongst bikers. Sure, women were loose, but we never disrespected them. We recognized that they were somebody’s mother, sister or daughter. We were still criminals, but we never went after our own. The men would fight when they got drunk, but it was never meant to kill, just a quick black eye to teach a rowdy motherfucker a lesson. Another important thing was our children. It seemed like babies were born once a month and whenever those kids would come around they weren’t just the children of the people who created them, they were the children of the entire club.” Henry looked over at me and smiled. “You were one of my kids whether you remember it
or not and so was JD.”
JD opened his mouth to say something, but Henry raised up a hand to shut him up. “Don’t even start, son. I know there’s only 15 years between us, but biologically, it means I’m old enough to be your dad.” He winked at me before throwing a pointed look in JD’s direction.
When he returned his attention to me, he explained, “Anyway, the reason I’m telling you this is because your father still lives by that code despite what’s happened to other clubs in the area. He’s a strong man who’s directed many stronger men beneath him. But they’re loyal. I have no doubt that when Joker gave me his word that he wouldn’t kill JD, he meant it. Just like you were one of my kids, JD was one of his. Torch and Joker were good friends back in the day and he wouldn’t do anything that would dishonor that friendship.”
This was the second time I heard that JD and I knew each other before, but no matter how hard I searched my memory, I couldn’t place his face or Henry’s. “I don’t remember any of you. It seems like you both know me, but I just can’t remember.”
Henry laughed, the sound vibrating across the table from where his body shook against it. “Well, of course you don’t remember, darlin’, you were only two so I don’t expect you to remember anything.” His laughter kept slipping free of his lips when he added, “You used to chase JD around the club, pulling on his clothes and annoying him every chance you could get. We’d sit back and watch, laughing our asses off at the sullen look he’d get on his face for having to take care of you.”
Glancing at JD, Henry continued. “All you wanted was to be big and bad like the older men, but we kept sticking you with babysitting duty just because of how much you hated it. There was nothing funnier than watching you attempt to handle a rambunctious toddler.”
Surprise filtered through me and I looked from Henry’s smiling face to JD’s face. His expression was blank, but eventually he cracked a smile at the corner of his mouth. A dimple popped out on his cheek and I melted in my chair at the sight. Reaching up, he ran his hand over his head when he said, “Yeah, well, she wouldn’t sit still, always wanting to play some stupid baby game.”
When it grew quiet again, I asked, “So, I guess that means you knew my mother.”
Looking back at me, Henry smiled and nodded “yes”. “Your mother was a beautiful woman, smart as whip and sharp as a tack. I don’t think there’s another woman out there as strong and ferocious as that woman. Except for maybe her daughter.” He winked.
I was saddened almost instantly to think of her. “Yeah, well, she wasn’t that smart. Look who she married. If it wasn’t for him she could have had a better life and she’d still be alive.”
Sighing, Henry nodded again in acknowledgement of what I’d said. “Holly, I can’t sit here and let you say anything like that about your mother. That woman had more control over Dominion than your father. She didn’t need to be physically strong to do it either. What was strong about her was her heart. She was a mother to all of those boys, even the ones that were older than her. It may have seemed that she’d chosen poorly by choosing your dad, but there was a lot more to that story than I think you’re aware. Her life before Dominion was rough. Her family had nothing and she had nothing. By the time the Joker rolled up into her life, her own abusive father was about to whore her out to make a quick buck. She’d run away and was working a shitty job as a cleaning lady at a motel and that’s where she met your dad. It was instant love between those two. You couldn’t separate them and if anybody raised a hand to that woman, Joker would have shot him dead. She been raised at the hand of a man who hit her and made her feel less than what she was, but after meeting your dad, she was safe. That’s all that mattered to her. Yeah, after years, the asshole ran around on her, but she took it in stride. We all were angry with him for it, but bikers will be bikers. She knew that going in, but it didn’t bother her because she was happy in the life he’d given her.”
“It still don’t make it right.” As I said the words, the tears burning at my eyes finally fell.
He stared at me with pity in his eyes when he replied, “No. It doesn’t. But it is what it is and there’s nothing you can do to change it, so there’s not much good that can come of you spinning your wheels hating on the only parent you have left. The Saint never hated him for what he did and neither should you. All the shit that’s happened recently is what you have the right to be pissed about, but I think you need to realize that your dad has lost his damn mind. He can’t live without your mother and I think what he’s done has been more of a death wish than anything else. Unfortunately, he didn’t think far enough out to realize that it would put you in a bad position. Everybody knows that you’re all he has left because as protective as he was of your mother, he was a thousand times more protective of you. It might not seem that way now, but it’s the truth. Dominion has been riding hard trying to find you since you were taken. They just didn’t know where to look.”
I couldn’t take hearing what he was saying and I hated to cry in front of the two men. I was supposed to be stronger than this. Pushing up out of my seat, I brushed JD’s hand away when he reached out in concern. “I’m going to go get a shower and think about all of this.”
They both nodded in my direction and as I walked through the house another thought came to me. Turning back, I asked, “Henry? Is there any way that you can buy us more time? I’m not ready to leave yet. I need to digest everything you just told me. I need to think.”
Henry fiddled with the fork on his empty plate, finally looking up at me to say, “Yeah, kid. I think I can buy us another day. Let’s plan on sleeping here tonight and taking off tomorrow morning.”
Nodding, I turned back towards the bedroom, silently praying that the water from the shower would wash away all the hate, pain and anger that was crushing my tired body.
Chapter Twenty-nine
JD
Holly went back to sleep shortly after taking her shower and Henry and I decided to leave her alone to work through everything she’d learned. Using the afternoon to shoot the shit, we were drinking and laughing long before the sun started to set in the sky.
“I’m serious, old man. Play a couple hands against her. You’ll lose all the money in your wallet before losing your car, your truck, your bike and your house. You’ll be lucky to keep your clothes. She’s that good.” I was laid out on the floor, looking up at the ceiling with a bottle propped up in my hand. Even though the conversation that morning had been rough, Henry nor I brought up any more bad memories, using the time that we had to relax and laugh about bullshit. That was preferable to me because I was the type to leave it all behind, looking at bad things like nothing more than a lesson in life and an event that made me stronger, but not something I would let ride me or control me forever. Life was too short to constantly live in the past and I had dreams to fulfill and a woman who I wanted to love. That’s all that mattered at that moment.
“Wouldn’t be a bad idea for you to run her through Vegas before leaving. Might make you kids enough money to start your lives over.” His words were slurred from the amount of alcohol running through his system and I laughed at the sound.
“We had that idea ourselves. As long as everything goes good tomorrow, it’ll most likely be exactly what we do. Won’t hurt to have our pockets full when we head east.” It grew silent between us, but then I thought about something Henry had said the night before. “You know, since you’re dead and all, maybe you should ride out with us. You could leave all this shit behind.”
“Maybe so.” I could hear the couch creaking as he straightened out his legs to get more comfortable. “Wouldn’t be a bad idea, I guess. I’ve got nothing left around here and I can always come visit the cabin whenever I need to get away from your dumb ass. Besides, someone with half a brain needs to watch over the two of you.”
Nodding, I attempted to take another swig from the bottle, damn near missing my mouth. The liquor dripped heavily over my cheek and when I reached to wipe it away I co
uldn’t help but remember what it tasted like on Holly’s skin. “You don’t really think I’m dumb, do you? ‘Cause if that’s the case, I need to beat your ass right after I’m done getting drunk.”
“Boy, you ain’t dumb. In fact, I think you have the potential to learn a thing or two. So, no, I don’t think you’re dumb. I just think you’re not yet smart.” His head rolled on the pillow so he could eye me. “I’m sure that girl will help you get there. Women have a way of teaching men things whether we want to learn them or not.”
Chuckling, I asked, “So why do you keep calling me dumbass?”
“Oh, well that’s simple. Because you look like one.” He looked away when the door to the bedroom pulled open.
Craning my neck, I glanced over to see that Holly woke up.
“Mornin’ Munch.” She attempted to walk past me, but I let go of the bottle, quickly catching her ankle to pull her down on top of me. “Damn, woman, you are looking fine today.”
She laughed, the sound like music breezing throughout the room. When she smiled, I smiled in return, the whiskey in my blood warming my body, but the happiness I could see in her face was warming my heart.
Slapping at me, she said, “You’re drunk, asshole. You two men couldn’t wait until the sun set at least?”
“Nope,” Henry answered from the couch. “In fact, it’s about time we get up and get the bikes down from the trailer. Because if I drink any more, I won’t trust myself not to drop the damn thing down on top of me.” He pushed to sit up on the couch and groaned, grabbing his head. “Sonofabitch. Jack Daniels is never a nice man when you get older. Give me a second to let the room stop spinning and then you’re going to be helping me, JD.”
Glancing over at him, I couldn’t help the surprise that was written across my face. “I didn’t see a trailer last night. You brought my bike?”