He quickly shook his head as he placed the strap of his bag on his shoulder. He kept fiddling with it since, for some reason, he wanted to reach out and touch her in order to reassure her. He didn’t need to be touching Tabitha in any way.
“You didn’t interrupt anything.” He gave a dry laugh, and she gave him a curious look. “You’re part of the family now, you know. If anything, I bet you’re more of a Montgomery than I am these days.” He hadn’t meant to say the latter, and could have kicked himself once the words were out. He hadn’t meant to open up like that.
She didn’t give him a pitying look, however. Instead, she narrowed her eyes. “You’re a Montgomery, even if you don’t think of it that way right now. You’ve always been a Montgomery and not just in name.” She let out a breath, and the two of them stood in an awkward silence. “Anyway, we should get going so we can help out.” She turned on her heel, and he let out a breath of his own before he followed her.
He didn’t know what it was about Tabitha Collins that had made him open up even that little bit just then, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to find out anytime soon.
When they got inside, Storm was just walking in through the front door, a large smile on his face. Storm and Wes were fraternal twins so they didn’t look exactly alike, but out of all the Montgomerys, they looked the most alike. All of them had dark hair and blue eyes, and most of them had ink and piercings, as well. Considering a couple of his siblings owned and operated a tattoo shop, it only made sense. They made for an eclectic bunch, but they were Montgomerys so that’s all that mattered.
Or, at least, that’s all that should have mattered until Alex kicked all of that to the curb.
He shook off those thoughts and went to greet Storm. The two of them did that man hug thing he never truly understood but did anyway before they headed into the kitchen. Storm hugged Tabitha close before kissing her on the top of the head and getting to work.
“Is that how you treat your staff at work, dear?” Marie asked with a twinkle in her eyes. Alex was pretty sure Marie wanted Tabitha married into the Montgomery clan, and figured either Wes or Storm would do.
Alex didn’t count, after all.
Storm winked and kissed his mother’s cheek. “Only outside of work, Mom. Don’t worry.”
Tabitha blushed and waved them off. “If they tried it at the office, I’d kick their butts. Don’t worry.”
“It’s true,” Storm said as he searched through the fridge. “She could take all of us.”
Alex raised a brow. “Good to know.”
If it were possible, Tabitha blushed even harder before going back to work. Alex held back a frown at the reaction and set down his camera case before his mother put him to work, as well. As long as he wasn’t at home sitting alone and trying to think of something to do, he’d take whatever came next.
It took a couple of hours, but they eventually had the meal ready to go. His mom had wanted to go Italian tonight so they had a couple of pans of lasagna, an Alfredo dish, as well as pasta with meatballs for the kids. They’d even made salads, side dishes, and antipasto. Since there were eight siblings, and most of them had significant others, as well as children and people like Tabitha who had been practically adopted in, that added up. There were a lot of mouths to feed. But the Montgomerys sure knew how to take care of each other even if they were only talking about their stomachs this time.
His mother had been in charge of desserts so he knew there would be tons of sweet goodness after the main meal, as well. He rubbed a hand over his stomach and sighed. He wasn’t sure he’d have room for dessert in the end, and he didn’t want to overindulge. He’d done that enough in his life.
As the rest of the family began to arrive, he pulled out his camera. This wasn’t his first family meal since he’d gotten out of rehab, but he still wasn’t up to the full strength needed to deal with the entire lot of them at once.
His family loved him. He knew that. They were the ones who’d forced him to look at himself and had been there to pick up the pieces when he’d fallen apart. He hadn’t been strong enough to do it alone, and while he didn’t resent them for it, he did resent himself.
It was easier to be behind the lens and take photos of his family interacting than it was to actually be part of it. While he was still there, he could step away and be an observer.
He focused on one side of the room, snapping a few photos as his sister Meghan threw her head back and laughed at something her husband Luc said. Luc held their daughter, Emma, in his arms. The little girl was about five months old now if he was counting right. In fact, his three sisters had each given birth to a child five months ago, which just went to show how close the Montgomerys were. They even bred on a similar schedule so their children could grow up together. Though he knew they hadn’t done it on purpose, it was still a little weird.
His other sister, Maya, leaned back against one of her husbands, Border, while their third, Jake, held their son, Noah. Beside them, Miranda, Alex’s final sister, held her son, Micah, while her husband, Decker, stood to the side of them, smiling like a proud papa.
Alex continued to take photos, ignoring the ache in his chest at the sight of all of his family members finding their own paths and making families of their own.
He’d fucked up the family he had, and knew he wouldn’t be getting a second chance. His ex-wife was long gone, thankfully, and he wasn’t about to fall into that trap again.
He didn’t figure he was strong enough to do it a second time.
Once again, he pushed those thoughts from his mind and kept taking photos. Griffin and Autumn cuddling in the corner. Austin and Sierra wrangling heir brood in the center of the room. His parents dancing to the delight of Tabitha, Storm, and Wes. With each click of the shutter, he captured the memory for eternity without actually living it himself.
It was what he did, though, and he’d be damned if he failed at this one thing.
The timer went off behind him, and he turned as his mother clapped her hands, signaling the troops. “Okay, crew, find your seats. Storm and Alex? Come help me put the food out on the table.”
When his mother spoke, people listened, so he put away his camera and went to place the plates of food on the table. Each sibling took their turn acting as sous chef and waitstaff, so Alex took his role in stride. Thankfully, those talented with building things with their own two hands in his family had built a large banquet table to fit everyone at once. Though he figured with all the children popping up everywhere, it would be a tight fit soon.
Eventually, he found himself seated next to Jake on one side, and his nephew, Austin’s son, Leif, on the other. Tabitha sat in front of him with Storm and Wes on either side of her. While his mother hadn’t put out place cards, he had a feeling she’d had a hand in that particular seating arrangement. His mom really wanted Tabitha as part of the family.
Everyone piled their plates high with food, though he was very careful to only take small portions of each dish. Everything was so carb and fat rich, and he had to be careful and not gorge himself. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to eat everything, but now that he didn’t have drinking to binge on, and had never turned to smoking, he was afraid he’d overindulge with food. Too many of those in his program had done that, and he didn’t want to trade one vice for another. His therapist was okay with the way he policed himself for now, but Alex knew he would always be balancing on the line of obsession and a new addiction.
“Did you get enough?” Leif asked from Alex’s side. The kid was almost a teenager now, which scared the hell out of his dad, as well as Alex. “I can reach the Alfredo if you want more.”
Alex shook his head. “I’m good. I have enough on my plate. Thank you.”
Leif shrugged. “You’re welcome.”
“You sure you’re eating enough?” Storm asked, and Alex narrowed his eyes.
“Yep. I promise.” His tone must not have been as smooth as he’d have liked because the others went a bit quiet around him. �
��I’m eating plenty, I promise.” And he was, though he’d eaten more in the past. But now that he was working out more, he’d added additional protein to his diet and not carbs. He hated that he even had to justify it, but he’d messed everything up before by becoming an alcoholic so he figured his family might not trust him to take care of himself anymore.
Not that he blamed them.
He didn’t entirely trust himself.
Everyone continued to eat and talk, and Alex spoke quietly with Jake and some of the others when they asked him questions. He still wasn’t completely comfortable so it was easier to sit and observe rather than participate.
“Hey, I might have a job for you if you’re interested,” Storm said, breaking Alex out of his thoughts.
“Really?” he asked. He needed the money, and if Storm could help him find a legitimate job, then he’d take it. He didn’t want handouts, but he’d work for it.
“Yeah. Actually, it was Wes and Tabby’s idea.”
Alex turned to the others, his brows raised.
Tabby blushed, but Wes was the one who answered. “We’re redoing the website, and we want to have a couple of printed books to hand out and for the office. Hardbound for the office, but I don’t know yet about the other printed materials. We want to focus on what we’re good at and show off what we’ve done. Storm and I could easily snap a few photos, but they wouldn’t be anywhere near as good as what you do.”
“We’d pay you your normal fee, too,” Storm added. “It’s not like we’d expect you to just do it for us because you’re family.”
Alex frowned. “But you should expect that.”
“Uh, no,” Maya put in. “You all pay for your ink when you come into the shop.”
“And I get paid for doing work with Montgomery Inc. even though I’m family,” Meghan said softly. “We all work together because we’re family, but we need to make a living, as well.”
Alex swallowed hard, aware that everyone was looking at him. He felt exposed, raw, but he ignored it. He’d felt even more exposed before when he’d tried to drink himself to death, only this time, he didn’t have the booze to numb it all.
“I think I can do that. Just tell me what you want.”
He didn’t miss the way his mother reached for his father’s hand, and the two of them looked at him as if he’d made a giant leap.
He let out a breath and tried to ignore the stares. Finally, it was Tabitha who made a noise, breaking the tension. She yelped as she reached out for her water, spilling it on her lap and some of the table. “Oops! Sorry!”
She winked at him, but he wasn’t sure anyone else had noticed. He stood up to help her, but Storm and Wes were already on the case. He didn’t know why Tabitha had done that and taken the heat off him, but he sure was grateful. Soon, the others went back to what they were doing, and Tabitha came out with a new glass and more napkins.
When they were finished eating, everyone took their plates to the kitchen and picked up more drinks if needed. Alex pulled out a soda. Though he didn’t need the sugar, he wanted the caffeine and wasn’t in the mood for coffee.
Austin and Wes pulled out beers for themselves while in the middle of a conversation about Wes’s next tattoo. When Austin popped the top, the sound echoed at just the right frequency within the kitchen so that everyone heard it. In fact, every single person froze where they were and turned mortified looks toward Alex.
For the first few dinners, everyone had stayed away from drinking around him, but he’d hated that. None of his family members had ever abused alcohol and had always been really careful about who was driving even after one drink. He’d eventually convinced them to start drinking what they wanted, but it hadn’t been easy. Alcohol wasn’t evil, but Alex didn’t know how to say no after one or two drinks. It wasn’t within him to do so, and therefore, he had to stay away from it entirely. But after a long day where his family worked until sweat soaked through their shirts at their demanding jobs, if they wanted a simple beer, then damn it, they deserved it.
And he’d learned to live with it.
One step at a time.
In response to the stares, he deliberately opened his soda slowly, the pop of the top echoing just as much as Austin’s beer had. The tension in the room popped like a balloon, and he could practically see everyone take a deep breath as one.
One day, he figured he might be forgiven for how he’d betrayed his family, but it wouldn’t be anytime soon. He’d broken their trust, and he’d broken himself in the process.
His gaze met Tabitha’s across the kitchen, and she swallowed hard, her eyes wide. He deliberately turned away and headed into the living room where some of the others were. He didn’t deserve to look at Tabitha that way. She was too sweet, too innocent for a man like him.
She deserved someone who hadn’t carved his path through the world with a broken bottle. And he deserved…well, he wasn’t sure what he deserved, but it wasn’t her.
It would never be her.
Chapter Two
Tabby Collins lit her two large, fat candles and smiled. There was nothing like getting ready for an evening just for herself. It felt indulgent. And if there was one thing Tabby was not, it was indulgent. But after the day she’d had, she would take this moment.
The candles lent a warm glow to the dark wood shine of her desk, and she sighed before turning on the lamp next to her computer. She needed a little more light to do what she had to do next, but the organic wax candles she’d bought on a whim sent off a nice scent that put her in the right mood.
She turned on her music to low and swayed back and forth to the beat as she poured herself a glass of wine. Just a small glass since she still needed to focus as well as wake up early tomorrow for work, but a nice glass of Malbec after a day like today was needed. When she was sure everything was in place, she set her glass down next to her workspace and stretched her arms over her head. She’d come home from working at Montgomery Inc. that evening and had immediately put on her comfy leggings and tank. They were softer than her winter pajamas, and if she could get away with it, she’d have worn them to work every day. What would the Montgomerys say if she showed up in leggings with unicorns on them and a bright pink tank with tiny white hearts decorating the seams? They so didn’t match her normal work attire—pencil skirts, day dresses, slender slacks—and she was just fine with that.
Her body thrumming with the gentle, sweet taste of her wine and the music surrounding her, she sank into her desk chair and sighed.
While some women might turn on music and light candles to relax or even pleasure themselves, Tabby was going to find her own form of bliss.
With a soft smile, she cracked open her weekly planner. She’d spent far too much money on the accessories for it, and even though her life was also on her digital calendar, she needed to write down her daily to-do list for the next day as well as ensure she’d checked off the current day’s list. There was nothing quite like checking something off her to-do list. It was almost euphoric. The other women in her planner group online felt the same as she did, so she knew she wasn’t completely alone in her…addiction, but she still didn’t advertise her love of planners, journals, and pens in public.
She had a feeling Wes Montgomery might know since she figured he had a planner of his own, but other than that, this time, and this thick notebook filled with her goals and lists was just for her.
She opened her washi tape container and thought about what color would work for the next two days. Since she worked with a paper planner that showed her each day at a time, she tended to color coordinate by two-day periods. Yes, she was crazy, and a little obsessive, but this was what made her happy so everyone else would just have to deal with it.
She quickly finished adding the colors she wanted for the next two days so she could focus and opened her digital calendar to make sure she didn’t miss anything. Just writing things down soothed her and ensured she didn’t miss an appointment or upcoming bill with a client.
&nb
sp; Montgomery Inc. counted on her, and she would not fail them. The others joked that the Montgomerys couldn’t keep going with all they did within the company without her, but she knew it was a team effort. If her OCD organizational techniques helped them in any way, then she’d take it.
Tapping her foot to the music, she added a few notes for the next day concerning Wes and Storm. The twins ran the construction company, while their sister, Meghan, had joined recently in the landscape development arm. And Tabby made sure all three of them—as well as the rest of the staff and crew—knew where they had to be and when. And when she wasn’t doing that, Tabby worked with the clients firsthand on billing, timing, and other matters that the others couldn’t deal with. She loved her job, and felt that she kicked ass at it.
But she needed this planner to make sure she could do it all.
After she had taken another sip of her wine, she added a few notes about a new client meeting the next day, as well as a sticker to remind her to call her mother and at least one of her three brothers.
She paused, laughing at herself.
Okay, so maybe adding a special sticker to remind herself to actually call her family out in Pennsylvania was a little over the top, but she’d loved the little stickers when she saw them online, and had now found a use for them. A crazy use, but a use nonetheless.
Shaking her head, she finished up her massive to-do list for the next two days and sipped the last of her wine. She missed her family, but the Montgomerys had taken her in as soon as she’d taken the entry-level job at Montgomery Inc. She not only worked with them during the week and sometimes even on weekends, but she went to many of their weekend family dinners, as well. At first, she’d felt a little out of place, but the massively inked and pierced Montgomerys hadn’t let her feel that way for long.
Every single one of them had made her feel like part of the family. Well, maybe not all of them. Alexander had always been a little distant with her—especially when he’d been married and on his downward spiral—but he had been different since he’d gotten out of rehab.
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