She nodded, aware that they were close to one another but not touching. She needed…she didn’t know what she needed.
Tabby pressed her lips together and tried to move. Only she couldn’t.
“Oh, hell,” Alexander said under his breath and wrapped his arms around her. Unlike when Charles had touched her, she didn’t feel fear.
She didn’t know what she felt.
He brought her to his chest and ran a hand down her back, whispering to her. “I’m sorry I didn’t come in sooner. So fucking sorry.” He kept her in his arms as he called the police and told them what had happened. When he’d hung up with them, assured they were on their way, he wrapped both arms around her.
She cried in his hold and tried to stop herself. “I’m sorry. I hate not being in control.”
He let out a rough breath. “I know the feeling.”
Of course, he did. “I’m sorry.”
“Fuck, I’m sorry. Don’t be sorry, Tabitha.” He blew out a breath. “Okay, this is what we’re going to do. Once you’re healed and feeling better, I’m going to show you how to be in control, okay? I’m going to show you how to protect yourself. Because there’s no fucking way I’m going to let this happen to you again, damn it.”
She leaned back in his hold even as the police came through the door. “You promise?”
Alexander reached out as if to cup her face before lowering his hand. “I promise.”
And for some reason, that promise meant more than anything.
Chapter Four
Alex closed his eyes, forcing himself to calm down. Only when he tried to do that, he realized this was a dream and he couldn’t do anything but watch…couldn’t do anything but be too late.
Everything moved slowly here, yet he moved even slower, as if trapped in a familiar fog—the same fog that had taken years from him because he hadn’t been strong enough to save himself.
Now, he wouldn’t be strong enough to save her.
Tabitha kicked and screamed at the man who had her by the throat against the wall, and yet Alex couldn’t move fast enough. He couldn’t hear their words, only the screaming, and yet he knew if he didn’t try to get to her, it would all be too late.
In that moment, Tabitha turned to him, her bright eyes wide with panic and accusation.
“Help me.”
He saw her lips move to form the words, yet he couldn’t hear them, not over the sound of his own screaming. And he hadn’t even known he was making a sound.
He reached for her, but the sound of their shouts turned into a longer, louder buzz that woke him up. With a groan, Alex turned over and hit the button on his phone that also acted as his alarm.
He didn’t want to get started for the day, not with the shit dreams he’d had all night, but lying down in bed where all he had were his thoughts to comfort him didn’t make him feel any better.
With a sigh, Alex pulled himself to his feet and shuffled naked to the bathroom. After a long evening of speaking with cops and making sure Tabitha was okay, he’d stripped off his clothes at the foot of his bed and had fallen face-first into sleep, naked and emotionally wrung out. His unconsciousness hadn’t lasted for long.
Dreams had assaulted him, mirroring the day before as well as morphing into what had happened over a year ago. Glass shattering. Screams. Accusations. Tears. Utter horror. Despair.
And Alex in the middle of it all, bleeding on the floor and helpless when it came to others.
Wes and Storm had shown up at the office soon after Alex had called them, worry and stress evident in their features. He also thought he’d seen confusion and perhaps accusation in their eyes, but he couldn’t be sure. That could always be the demons talking once again, and Alex would be damned if he’d allow that to push him over the edge like before.
The twins had been there to see what had happened and had ensured that Tabitha got home safely after being checked out by the EMTs. She hadn’t gone to the hospital. Had instead pushed to go home. Alex wasn’t sure that had been the right move, but he hadn’t been able to speak much once his brothers had shown up.
He wasn’t sure what he’d have said anyway.
Tabitha hadn’t said a word to him, but he knew he’d see her today. She’d wanted to learn to protect herself right away, and the idiot that he was had agreed to meet her at his gym that afternoon.
He’d seen the red marks on her face that he thought might turn to bruises, and damn if the sight of them didn’t make him want to punch something. Thankfully, he’d be at the gym later, but he didn’t know if that was soon enough.
His body was riding an edge he couldn’t slip, and there was only so many ways he could calm himself. Resigned, he turned on the shower and slid in, wrapping his hand around his cock as he did so. He squeezed his shaft hard, just on the edge of pain.
He groaned, images of Tabitha coming to mind, and he was just enough of an asshole not to push them out of his thoughts. Instead, he imagined her on her knees as she sucked his balls, using her fingers to play with his prostate before licking up his dick and scraping her teeth along the crown.
He imagined his hand fisted in her hair as he slowly slid his cock between her plump lips. She would moan for him and whisper, “Alexander” as he pulled out to tease her.
Alex groaned, and using soap as well as the rushing water to fist himself, he increased his pace. He was already so close, and though he’d decided to rub one off to take that particular edge off, he also wanted to let this image linger.
He swallowed hard as dream-Tabitha rose in his mind. This way, he could capture her mouth with his and save her knees from kneeling too long. He didn’t want to hurt her. He only wanted to make her come.
To make him come.
Alex squeezed the base of his dick as he imagined taking Tabitha’s nipples into his mouth. He’d spent far too long thinking about her nipples. Would they be dark? Brown and luscious. Or maybe a pale pink he could lave with his tongue. Perhaps they’d darken to a ruby red after he’d sucked on them for hours.
Because he felt like even more of a lecher, he forced her image from his mind and pumped himself harder. Yet even as he came, he knew it was because of her.
He quickly finished his shower, aware he’d crossed a line once again, and not sure what he could do about it. After he’d dressed, he went to make himself some coffee, though he wouldn’t be leaving the house soon. He’d taken enough initial shots of his family working that he figured he could at least start to process some of them and work with what he had as he formulated an idea about the scope of the project. He also had a few other work things he had to attend to since his family wasn’t his only job at the moment. While before he might have been freaking out at having to juggle so many balls, he was just damn thankful he had the opportunity to do what he loved and had once been damn good at.
He also had an upcoming project that wasn’t on the books yet, but he’d been toying with the idea for a while now. Ever since he’d gotten out of rehab and had wondered what his next step would be, this idea had been tugging on his mind. He didn’t know what he’d do with it once he was done, but he could at least get started on it. Any form of inspiration and need that didn’t have to do with drinking and addiction had to be better than where he’d started.
At least, that’s what he told himself.
He worked for a few hours, editing images and seeing how they could come together to tell a story. He wasn’t just taking pictures; he was narrating a thread that was already there just waiting to come out into the light. Sometimes, it was easier than others as the object in his lens was usually the one telling him what came next, but he didn’t mind. This was what he loved, and he was damned glad to be back at it.
When his alarm sounded again, he frowned, pulling himself from his thoughts. He’d forgotten he’d set his phone to tell him that he should head down to the gym. It had been a long time since his work had taken him into his mind like that, and damn how he’d missed the feeling.
He
stretched his back as he stood, aware he’d been sitting for too long. Maybe he’d get one of those standing desks his brother, Griffin, had. Hell, the man even had a treadmill desk that Autumn had scored for him. Most of his family members worked with their hands enough and moved around enough that it didn’t matter if they sometimes had to sit to work. But he and Griffin had more sedentary jobs. Thankfully, Alex needed to move around to actually shoot the photos, but long days in the editing chair were going to kill his back.
That was just one more reason he worked out and fought as hard as he did.
He quickly packed up his bag and headed to the gym, trying to come up with a plan for how to help Tabitha. He didn’t know what he was doing, honestly, and now that he thought about it, he knew this was a fucking crazy plan. Just because he’d been formally trained to fight at one point and could take care of himself didn’t mean he could teach Tabitha how to do it.
He just hated to think she had nothing up her sleeve.
He could still imagine the way she’d tried to fight back and kick out but had been powerless against the much larger man. The brute who might be in jail for now, but would most likely be out on bail soon with a shiny new restraining order in his name.
Since Alex had fisted his hands on the steering wheel, he forced thoughts of the man from his mind. It didn’t do him any good right now where he had nowhere to let go of this rage. That was how he’d fallen into the bottle in the first place. Instead, he thought of Tabitha and wanted to curse himself once more.
He pulled up to the gym, oddly revved and on the verge of a breakdown at the same time. How was he supposed to help her when he could barely help himself? He’d started boxing and fighting because it had kept him focused on what he put into his body, and later, he’d had the additional fun of kicking ass in the ring.
Alex rolled his shoulders, grabbed his bag, and headed into the small gym that had been his refuge for the past year. He was still learning how to be a Montgomery again and blend into his family so he could actually feel useful, but for some reason, he felt that connection in this small, stone building that smelled of sweat and looked as if it needed a few coats of paint.
The guys he worked out with here weren’t his family by blood, but they’d taken him in and hadn’t asked too many questions. Harper and Brody had become another support system, and he knew he could never replace them. The Montgomerys might be his family in truth, but they’d known him before the booze and during. He’d wanted a clean slate with at least one person in his life, and Brody and Harper had filled that spot.
Tabitha would be there soon, and he’d have to figure out how to help her. Since she was probably going to be sore as hell from the night before, he’d probably just show her how to stand and talk to her about what they would do next. He didn’t want to overwhelm her.
Hell, he didn’t want to overwhelm himself.
Harper and Brody were both in the gym working out with jump ropes near the ring when Alex walked in. Harper set his things down first and frowned.
“I heard about what happened. Everything okay? Tabby wasn’t at work today since Wes told her if she showed up he’d carry her out over his shoulder himself.”
Alex didn’t like the odd tug in his gut at that thought. There was no reason to be jealous of Wes since Alex had nothing to do with Tabitha like that. Wes and Storm were the ones his parents wanted for Tabitha, and hell, either of them would be better for her anyway. She could also do the unthinkable and not be with a Montgomery.
“She’s on her way here,” Alex said with a frown. “I haven’t seen her all day, but I told her I’d help teach her how to defend herself.”
Brody’s brows rose. “You need help with that?”
Alex shook his head. “I think I’ll be okay, but just in case, you guys going to be around for the rest of the evening?”
Harper nodded. “Brody wanted to spar so we’ll be in the ring for a bit.”
Alex relaxed a bit. He’d been afraid he’d be all alone with Tabitha and end up fucking things up. At least he’d have a buffer here.
Brody’s eyes darted over Alex’s shoulder, and they darkened with rage. “I hope you beat the shit out of that fucker.”
Alex turned on his heel as Tabitha hesitantly walked into the gym, her eyes wide as she seemed to take everything in. He probably should have taken her to a nicer place or even the gym his brother-in-law, Decker, had built in his basement, but he’d said the first thing that had come to mind when he’d seen her shaking as he had. He might regret being this close to her when he was still trying to figure out who he was, but he’d be damned if he saw that look in her eyes ever again.
“You’re here,” he growled low. For some reason, he thought she might have changed her mind and stayed away. He didn’t want to think about the feelings inside him that wanted her there right then. The ones that wanted her by his side. Wanted her with him.
He paused to clear his throat before moving toward her. The bruises on her face were a stark shadow against the creamy paleness of her skin. His hands fisted at his sides, and he forced himself to loosen them as he studied her face.
She hadn’t bothered with makeup that day, or at least for the evening—meaning she hadn’t hidden the bruises from him. He didn’t know why that pleased him, and he couldn’t afford to worry about that right then. She’d left her hair in that ponytail she loved—the same one he’d imagined wrapping around his fist—and it kept the long mass away from her face. That only made the blues and blacks on her face, the evidence of that bastard’s hand on her soft skin, stand out.
She wore a thick hoodie over her workout gear, and had a small bag slung over her shoulder. If it weren’t for the vivid fear in her eyes and the palpable tension in her shoulders, he’d have figured she was ready to go. It seemed that they were both off their footing a bit here, and he was just going to have to figure out what to do about it.
“I’m here,” she finally said after a moment. She gave the place a quick study before raising her brow at him. “I know you said this was a gym, but I didn’t quite picture this.”
He frowned. “People work out here. It’s a gym.” It wasn’t as steel and mirror-covered as some, and didn’t have peppy music and people in bright spandex, but it was a gym. His gym.
She pointed over at one of the boxing rings in the center of the room. “You do more than work out. But since that’s why I’m here, I can hardly complain. And I wouldn’t be complaining anyway.”
She paused, shifting from foot to foot.
He moved closer, aware Harper and Brody were behind him and hadn’t said anything. They were most likely listening in on every word and had their eyes on the two of them, but he ignored them for now. This was all about Tabitha.
Alex did something next he knew he might regret, but he did it anyway.
He cupped her cheek, being very cautious of the slight bruising on that side of her face. She had more on the other side, and all he wanted to do was kiss them away.
So he didn’t.
“What is it?” he asked, his voice low.
Her eyes widened at his touch, and her lips parted as she let out a gasping breath, her chest rising and falling in the motion.
“Thank you.”
He frowned. “For what?”
She narrowed her eyes, and he’d never been so eager to see that spark of temper. That meant she hadn’t lost any of her fight. She just needed to fortify it.
“For before and for now. Don’t pretend like you don’t know.”
She stepped back, and whatever moment they’d been having broke. Alex wasn’t exactly sorry about that either. Nor was he too relieved.
Hell, this woman confused him, and he wasn’t sure he could afford to be confused right now.
“Hi, Harper,” Tabitha said as she leaned around Alex. “And it’s Brody, right? I saw you at the shop with Austin.”
Did Tabitha have a tattoo somewhere? And why was he spending so much time thinking about that?
The guys chatted with her a bit as he gathered his thoughts. He needed to get his head in the game if he were going to accomplish what he’d set out to do and actually help Tabitha take care of herself.
“You ready to go?” he asked, and she turned to face him. Nervousness slid over her features, and he swore to himself that he’d do his best to never see that again on her face. “We can go back to a room over there if you want privacy.” He paused, thinking over his word choice when she gave him a curious look. “Unless you’d rather not be alone with me.” There were thousands of reasons for her not to be alone with him. The fact that he couldn’t stop thinking about her was only one of them.
She shook her head. “I trust you. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.”
He swallowed hard at the truth in her gaze.
She trusted him.
If only he trusted himself.
****
“Keep your arms up a little higher.”
Tabby shifted in front of Alexander, all too aware of how big he seemed. How…everything. She was all too aware of him in general these days, and she didn’t feel like she could hold herself back as well as she had before. She’d known from the first time she’d walked into the small gym that seemed to hold a piece of him that this whole thing might have been a mistake.
But she’d been so freaking scared about what had happened at the office, and she’d latched on to what she could. Even being here for twenty minutes while Alexander spoke to her made her feel better. Safer.
She may not ever be able to fight like he apparently could, but she’d at least be able to help herself a bit more.
“Okay, don’t hold your thumb like that. You’ll end up breaking it.” He put his large hand over hers, and she forced herself to not suck in a breath at the heat of his touch. With each correction, each graze of flesh, she couldn’t help but want him.
Yes, she was here for a reason, but in the humid room with only the two of them there to sweat, touch, and move closer, her brain couldn’t help but imagine. She could glimpse part of his ink as his shirt shifted, and she wanted to see all of it, wanted to taste it.
Ink Exposed Page 5