by Kimbra Swain
“Don’t you dare clam up on me!” I demanded.
“I am your humble servant. When we return, I will swear the same blood oath to you as I did your father,” he said.
I trembled as the reality of my life shifted from trailer park to legend. Suddenly, a town in the middle of Alabama seemed so small and insignificant. “How do I go back?” I asked as if I meant leaving the dream, but in actuality, I meant back to Shady Grove.
“Just wake up, Blanchefleur,” he said. “Just wake up.”
I closed my eyes, leaning on his shoulder. His soft words melted into my head. I relaxed while he supported my weight. When I opened my eyes, I pulled away from his embrace. We stood inside a glowing white circle of power. Outside of it, I saw the concerned faces of my friends. My family.
Finley released his tension by leaning into the wall behind him where Nelly nuzzled up to his side. Tabitha and Jenny stood next to each other, waiting for either of us to speak. Luther seethed but calmed himself when he saw me awake. Rowan stood alone, holding her bow. She wore a green cloak that draped around her shoulders with a leather satchel on her side. Something in her eyes told me that she was leaving, and it didn’t surprise me. Joey and Devin sat on a bench behind me. They both looked concerned. Riley stood just beyond the doorway in the shadows along with Stone and Bronx.
Astor steadied me, then allowed me to stand on my own. He pulled a dagger from his belt. Dragging the blade across his palm, he knelt before me offering his bloody hand. The sight of the blood unnerved me, but I motioned for the dagger. I pulled it across my palm, then placed my hand in his.
“My blood is your blood. I swear my fealty to you, Queen Gloriana, Daughter of Oberon, Queen of the Exiles,” Astor said.
“Your blood is my blood. I accept your service from this day forward,” I said remembering the words my father had prompted me with when Tennyson swore his fealty to me. Astor didn’t pause. He jumped to his feet, then broke the circle with a quick swipe of his foot. He took the dagger from me as Tabitha rushed up to my bleeding hand.
“Did you have to cut yourself?” she asked.
“Sister, you know the blood oath requires it,” Astor said, producing a white cloth from his pocket. He wrapped my hand with it. “Joseph, there are bandages in that box on the table. Bring one to me.”
Joey hurried over to the wooden table, then quickly produced the cloth for Astor who wiped the dagger clean. He tossed the bloody rag into the fire watching it burn completely.
Sweat poured down my cheeks, streaking down my neck. “It’s hot in here,” I said.
“It’s the blood. Just take a deep breath,” Tabitha urged. “Really, Astor! This could have waited.”
“She knows,” he grumbled.
“She knows what?” Tabitha asked.
“Everything,” I responded, looking up to meet the deep green eyes of Jenny, the grindylow. She flinched under my gaze. “Jennifer, perhaps you and I could talk.”
“Grace, I’m cursed,” she said.
“Damn straight you are,” Rowan responded. “I’m not sure why you are even here.”
“He told her to bring me with her. I wouldn’t deny him now,” Jenny shouted back to her.
“Why not? You managed to sleep with his best friend and his enemy,” Rowan said.
“I didn’t give it freely to Mordred!” Jenny protested. “But I loved Lance!”
Astor ignored them. “This fight will never be over,” he whispered. “Come sit down, Grace. You are pale.” He guided me over to the bench next to Devin, who scooted away allowing Astor to sit down next to me.
“He’s was always misguided when it came to you,” Rowan shot back at her.
“Why are you upset? You have him now, and I have nothing!” Jenny’s voice grew louder. Her skin tone shifted from pale to olive.
“Enough!” I said. “Where are you going, Rowan?”
“I didn’t come here to guide you all over Summer. The tree wasn’t on the agenda. I’m here to finish something I started a long time ago,” she said.
“Sorry that I didn’t follow the plan,” I snipped at her.
“You will never get close enough to kill her,” Riley said.
“I have to try. She’s lost her mind. The tree cannot be compromised. Astor, what were you thinking swearing fealty to her? She isn’t your queen! She’s not even your fiancée! You must protect the tree,” Rowan said.
“She’s right about that,” Tabitha added.
The argument was getting out of hand. Old battles. Old loyalties. Old agendas. This is what I hated about my father’s court.
Oberon’s court.
Arthur’s court.
“I am protecting the tree by protecting the heir to the throne of Winter. No matter what Grace decides to do, I am convinced that her life is more important than standing guard here,” he said. “Plus, I know a way into Winter.”
The sisters continued to argue, but I focused on Astor. “You know how to get into Winter? Through the tree?”
“Yes,” he said.
“You will go get him for me?” I asked.
He touched my cheek again sending warm pulses through me. “I will do whatever you wish me to do. It is dangerous, but I am sure that I can retrieve your bard.”
“I’ll go with him,” Finley said moving closer to us. We ignored the growing argument between the women. “We will get Levi.”
The well of tears I’d held back broke. I lunged into Astor’s arms. He held tight as I sobbed. “Please. Oh please, bring him home.”
AN OIL LAMP illuminated the bedroom as I laid on my back with my eyes closed. I tried to piece together the characters in Taliesin’s books to my Father and my current list of friends. Astor sat in the corner in a chair looking terribly uncomfortable.
“I wish you would go rest,” I said.
“You ordered me not to clam up, remember?” he smiled.
“I did, but you will find I say a lot of things I don’t mean,” I said.
“I look forward to it,” he said.
“Rowan is Elaine?” I asked.
“She is. Elaine tricked Lancelot into sleeping with her. He was oblivious to the spell until after it happened. She gave birth to Galahad who was my best friend,” he said. He rubbed his face with his hands.
“I order you to go rest,” I said.
“Not until you are done asking questions,” he said.
“Now!” I said with all the force I could muster. The fact was, I didn’t have much force at the moment. “Ugh. I’m sucking it up as a Queen.”
He walked over to the side of the bed, sitting on the edge. “Your father had all the faith in the world in you. That is good enough for me.” Tennyson had said the same thing. I was beginning to see how tight-knit the brothers were. They might as well have been blood kin. I wondered why father originally chose Percival and not one of the other knights. Once I got back to Shady Grove, a visit to the well would be necessary. Perhaps Astor would want to go with me to see Father.
“Will you please go and rest? We have to do this tree thing,” I said.
He picked up my bandaged hand, kissing it lightly. “As you wish,” he said, then slipped out of the room. Tabitha stepped inside as he left.
“You hiding in the hallway?” I asked.
“Just giving him some room,” she said. “He’s waited for this for a long time.”
“He is a good man,” I said.
“He would have been a good mate,” she sighed. “Our mother messes everything up.”
“How does she fit into all of this?” I asked.
Tabitha shook her head. “Astor opened a giant can of worms with this one. Morgan Le Fay. She is your father’s half-sister. Sorceress. Sworn enemy of Arthur and the Knights. However, there was a time around his death on earth that they reconciled.”
“Ugh. My head hurts,” I said.
“I’m not surprised,” she said. She poured water over a cloth in a basin across the room. Walking over to me, she suggested, “
Why don’t we work on this more tomorrow? You have to take care of your child.” She pressed the cloth to my forehead, and I sighed deeply. I wondered if there was any magic in this simple gesture. It felt like it was because my eyelids drooped, and I fell into a deep sleep.
The room had no windows, so the only light in the room was the continuously burning oil lamp. Across the room through a door, I could see Tabitha asleep on the bed in the other room. The light flickered on the ceiling. Rolling over to accommodate my belly, I sensed someone else in the room. Astor sat in the chair again watching me.
“You are creepy as fuck,” I said.
He laughed, “Yeah, I know.”
“What do you want?” I asked.
“I couldn’t sleep. I felt like I dropped a bomb on you,” he said.
“You’ve had two lives. I’ve only had one,” I said.
His smile grew. He knew I had more questions. “Those of us from the old stories found the Grail and the Tree. We were given the choice to start a new world here to protect the tree. Both sides agreed after the long bloodshed of the war. However, it wasn’t long before old grudges and tempers flared. It was disheartening for those of us who hoped for a better outcome. We are spiraling toward that bloody end again.”
“Shit,” I said. “It does seem inevitable.”
“Maybe not. And if it is, perhaps we get another chance with what you are building in Shady Grove. It is a beacon to those of us who truly wanted to make something of this world, but failed,” he said. “I haven’t figured out how, but I want to go there with you if you would have me.”
“Can you leave the tree?” I asked.
“I intend to ask it when you feel up to making the journey. However, I must warn you, that it is my plan to visit the tree, then pass straight into Winter with Finley. He and I discussed it last night. We have a plan,” he said.
“I would love to have you in Shady Grove. We could use a few good upstanding fellas to help keep the peace with the many races we have there. It’s not just fairies, but shifters too,” I said.
“I think that is how we messed this up. Every supernatural race should have been invited. Not just fairy folk. Shifters. Creatures like your Phoenix. We should have worked together,” he said.
“It sounds easier than it is. I had people up in arms about a werehog living in a fairy neighborhood,” I said. “People find plenty of things to fight about no matter where they are.”
“You resolved it?” he asked.
“My council and I,” I said.
He leaned back in the chair, lifting his eyes to the ceiling. “Somehow I think you aren’t giving yourself enough credit,” he said.
“No. I’m definitely not perfect when it comes to ruling. I feel like I’m missing some key ingredient,” I said.
He mumbled something but swallowed his words. “Your father gave you his knowledge.”
“He did, but revelations come to me only right when I need them. It’s like there is something holding back the flood of knowledge he intended me to have. It’s been stronger here than anywhere,” I said.
“Hmm,” he hummed.
“What?” I asked. “You know something.”
“If it has come to you more here in Summer, imagine what it would be in Winter,” he said.
“Shit,” I replied.
“You like that word,” he said.
“I like fuck better,” I said. He blushed, then dropped his eyes. “Sorry. I’m brash.”
“That’s putting it lightly,” Finley said at the door. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m fine, despite all this nonsense,” I said. “Did you know all of this?”
“Of course,” he said.
“I hate you,” I said.
He laughed because he knew it wasn’t true. “You need to go home after this visit with the tree. Go home and wait for us to come back with Levi. Keep that baby safe.”
“What about the jar? I can’t leave here without him,” I said.
“We don’t know if that is him,” Finley groaned. “He wouldn’t want you here jeopardizing the baby. Perhaps someone else could stay behind and figure it out for you.”
“I can’t do this without him,” I said.
“Yes, you will,” Finley said.
“You won’t be alone, Grace,” Astor added.
“He’s right. You’ve got family. A lot more than you ever realized,” he said.
“Why didn’t Tristan swear a blood oath to me?” I asked.
“That’s another long story, but for the most part, it was because you didn’t know who he was,” Astor said.
“And father didn’t want you to know any of this. He was preserving you from these old fights. You saw Jenny and Rowan going after each other. Some fights never die,” Finley said.
“Are you a knight?” I asked Finley.
“Hell no,” he said. “There are some of us, like you and I who are first lifers. This is our first chance to get this right.”
“How many chances do you get?” I asked the knight.
“That is up to the tree,” Astor said.
“I’m starving,” I blurted out.
Astor stood, patting Finley on the shoulder. “I’ll start breakfast,” he said. “Grace, stop asking questions and rest.”
“He’s right. You should be resting,” Finley said.
With that, I swung out of the bed. “You morons, I’m not an invalid. I’m just pregnant.” I said. “I’m going to get a shower, or bath, or whatever is in that tiny bathroom.”
“There is a bath in there,” Finley said.
“Bath it is,” I replied. “Women have been having babies for ages. I’m no different.”
“Fairy-Phoenix baby,” Finley corrected. “I wouldn’t be a good uncle if I wasn’t concerned. Don’t go all feminist on me.”
“I’m not going feminist. I’m going maternal on your ass,” I said.
“Even worse. Go get your bath. I will round everyone up,” Finley said.
I wobbled into the bathroom, trying to adjust my shape again. I wondered if the ages upon ages of women who had babies all felt like oversized ducks.
A LARGE MEAL FEATURING EGGS, bacon, sausages, toast, jams, and fruit enticed us all to the table. It smelled glorious. My stomach rumbled with anticipation. I hadn’t eaten much since the beginning of my pregnancy, but now I was starving.
“This looks wonderful,” I said.
Astor beamed, “I hope you enjoy it. Please take my seat.” He offered me the seat at the head of the table. I walked up to the seat next to it and sat down.
“I’m your guest. I will sit by your side, if you wouldn’t mind,” I said.
He looked ashamed for a moment, then nodded. Everyone formed around the table taking their seats. Rowan was missing. I didn’t know what I was going to tell Tennyson when we returned. Hopefully, she would show back up before we left the Otherworld. Perhaps he and Jenny could reconcile. It’s not like my father could have her anyway. I’m not sure that he ever did. I saw the way they interacted without even looking at each other. The feelings were deep. Those kinds of things don’t go away easily.
“May I say a blessing over the food?” Astor asked.
“Of course,” I replied. I remembered the old blessings from my childhood.
Astor stood holding his glass high. Staying seated, we held our glasses to mimic his. “Bless those gathered here. May your blessings be more, and your troubles be less. May this food fill our bodies, and the company fill our souls. So, may it be.”
“So, may it be,” we echoed then took sips of our glasses. The wine touched my lips, and I savored its taste. A sweet wine made of grapes and something dark like blackberries. It danced around on my tongue. It washed away any craving for the hard liquor back home.
“Crap,” I said sitting down the glass. “It’s wine.”
“Does it taste bad? I’ll get you something else,” Astor said.
“No, it’s wonderful, but I’m pregnant,” I said.
Tabitha paused with a piece of bacon poised at her lips “That wine won’t hurt the baby. Drink up.”
“You sure?” I asked.
“Doctor’s orders,” she said, shoving the entire piece of bacon in her mouth. She took some kind of white cream cheese, mixing it with honey, then spreading it over her toast.
“In that case, I’m going to need a refill,” I said. Astor refilled my cup before I could take another sip. “It’s really good.”
“We make it here,” he said
“Really?” I asked.
“We don’t have much to do. Had to pick a hobby,” he laughed.
“So, this is your concoction?”
“Yes,” he continued to beam.
“It’s fabulous,” Luther purred, then hiccupped.
“You better not get sloshed! I’ll tell your old lady,” I teased him. Our friends all laughed, but they all seemed quite satisfied with the meal and the wine.
“I’ll just take her some too,” he said.
“Yes, we have plenty. Take some home with you. I can arrange for regular shipments if you would like,” Astor offered.
“I’m not sure,” I said wondering what the Queen would think of him shipping his goods out to the real world.
He placed his hand over mine. The warmth from him transferred to me. I felt dirty drinking it in, but it felt so good. Even better than the wine. “She won’t say a thing,” he assured me. “Eat.”
I ate until I felt like an elephant. With my growing belly, I already felt twice my size, but with a stomach full of wine and food, I felt positively behemoth. The meal satisfied me more than I expected. There was no talk of knights and roundtables or fairy queens and kings. Just friends, laughing and joking about life.
All the things I’d learned since stepping into the Otherworld had always been here. It didn’t matter that I was just now finding out about it. All that mattered was the future. The old fights of the past needed to die, and we needed to make a better way for our offspring’s sake. I thought about Winnie as I leaned back in the chair holding my enormous belly. I hoped she would be waiting for me when I returned home. Even if I had to leave here not knowing whether Dylan was alive or not, I had my children. I would live each day for them, and there was no better way to do that than to be Queen.