What He Fears

by E. M. Denning

  Thankfully, Andrew listened. Rory’s stomach clenched, and he broke out in a cold sweat. Andrew laid on the floor at his feet, he linked his hands behind his head. The robber pointed the gun at Rory and tossed a couple of canvas bags on the counter. “Fill them. Make it fast.”

  Rory had no desire to piss off the man with the gun. With shaking hands, he grabbed the first bag and walked around the counter. He opened the display case, grabbed a handful of jewelry and shoved it in.

  “Hurry up.”

  Rory tried to go faster, but the more he tried to hurry, the more his hands shook. He managed to fill the first bag, and he moved to the next counter. Rory dropped the first bag on the counter and opened the second. He shoved necklaces and bracelets into it until the case was empty and the bag full. He set the second bag on the counter and watched as the robber snatched it.

  “Get on the floor. Don’t move.”

  Rory lowered himself to the floor and stretched out on his stomach. Footsteps. The bells above the door jingled and Rory exhaled. One minute there had been a gun pointed at him and the next minute, Andrew’s hands gripped his biceps. Rory blinked the world back into focus and he stared dumbly at Andrew, who knelt next to him.

  “Roar, we need to call the police.” Andrew was pale, and his wide eyes and pale skin made him look terrified.

  “Yes. Absolutely. Lock the door, will you?” Rory came back into himself slowly. As he forced himself to his feet and fumbled with his phone, he tried to recall the last few minutes. There was Andrew, and Rory’s dirty thoughts about him. Then the guy with the gun and Andrew on the floor while Rory shoved jewelry into bags. What Rory remembered most was the gun and the way it trembled in the hands of the robber.

  Andrew plucked the phone from Rory’s hands and made the call to the police. Andrew gathered Rory in his arms and held him close. “You’re not hurt. I’m not hurt. He took some things, but you probably have insurance.” Andrew squeezed him tighter. “Do you need to sit down? You’re shaking.”

  “I’m fine.” Rory said automatically.

  “You’re not. I’m not either.”

  Rory gripped Andrew’s shirt and exhaled. He swayed a little, and clung tighter to Andrew, who was positively the only thing holding him up. He buried his face against Andrew’s chest. He tried a few deep breathing exercises as he attempted to calm himself, but they helped only marginally. He was vaguely aware of Andrew talking on the phone again. He’d kept one arm looped around Rory while he talked to someone who had to be his boss.

  His phone rang, and Andrew answered. “Yeah, we’re fine. Promise. We’ll fill you in when you get here.” A pause. “He’s pretty shaken. Yeah. Okay. See you soon.” The call ended and Rory knew it had been Nick on the phone.

  Once he got off the phone, Andrew wrapped his other arm around Rory. He rubbed Rory’s back in long, slow strokes. “Nick’s on his way.”

  The tension in Rory’s shoulders started to ease. “You’re good in a crisis.” Rory mused.

  “I’m okay.” Andrew kissed the top of Rory’s head. “You’re okay, too.”

  Rory laughed, and the strangled, watery sound that came out instead, shocked him.

  Andrew held him tighter. “The police are here, Rory. I have to let them in.”

  He’d expected Andrew to let him go, an icy fear flooded through him at the thought, but Andrew kept an arm looped around Rory’s waist and he walked them both to the door. The click of the lock disengaging made Rory flinch.

  Andrew let two police officers in who Rory might have recognized on a good day. He did his best to stay focused and answer their questions, but it was hard to stay focused when he was counting down the minutes until Nick arrived.

  The bells above the door signaled another arrival and Rory found himself enveloped in familiar arms.

  “Fucking hell, Roar.” Nick croaked. “Andrew, you guys are okay, right?” Nick pulled away and Rory nodded. “What happened? I heard the call on the radio. I got here as fast as I could.” Nick asked, he didn’t seem to know who to touch or who to look at, and Rory understood that feeling. Right now, all he wanted was to go home with his men and curl up in their bed together and kiss them and touch them and convince himself that they weren’t going anywhere. Rory needed Andrew to hold him tight, and he needed Nick to kiss away his fears and as he gazed at them, both so calm, as Andrew detailed the event, Rory suddenly wondered if either of them needed him at all.

  The thought made him queasy, but he couldn’t shake it. Andrew and Nick had each other, and Andrew had taken charge of the situation, while Rory stood there using all his available mental capacity to keep his quivering bowels from trembling him into embarrassment.

  When Andrew pulled Rory against him again, it was hard to let himself feel the same level of relief that he’d felt earlier. Right now, he had everything. He wouldn’t care if someone had taken every bit of jewelry in his store, he had Nick and Andrew. He tried to hold on to that thought, but the fear that he could lose them was greater.

  He stood there, as more police showed up, and answered questions by rote, giving what little information he could. Nick was the bigger help. He retrieved the security footage for his colleagues and took control of the situation. Andrew tugged Rory into his office and made him sit down while the police conducted their investigation.

  “Come on, Roar.” Andrew said as he coaxed him up out of the chair. “Let’s go home.”

  Rory blinked almost sleepily as Nick stepped in front of him and cupped his cheek. “Are you okay, Roar?”

  Rory closed his eyes and nodded. “Just take me home.” Rory reached into his pocket and pulled out his car keys, which Nick promptly confiscated. “Hey.” Rory balked and tried to reach for his keys, but Nick pocketed them.

  “Andrew is driving you home. You look exhausted. I have to finish up here, but I’ll be home soon, okay.”

  Rory wanted to argue, but then he saw the look of concern on Nick’s face and he relented without a fight. “Okay.” He kissed Nick. He didn’t know if he should, seeing as how Nick was on duty, but it was just the three of them in Rory’s office so he indulged himself and quickly brushed his lips against Nick’s. “See you soon?”

  Nick nodded. “I need to wrap things up here, but I’ll be home as soon as I can, okay?”

  Rory nodded and gathered his jacket and let Andrew take him home.

  Andrew, it turned out, was not only good in a crisis but also in the aftermath. While Rory was still a quivering mess of terror and nerves, Andrew stayed calm and collected. He took Rory home and brewed him a tea, then took him out to his sanctuary just off their bedroom. It was Rory’s favorite space, and it meant a lot to Rory that Andrew knew to bring him out here.

  “Sit down, Roar.” Andrew said as he set Rory’s tea down in front of him. Rory, feeling suddenly frail and helpless and not at all himself, wrapped his hands around his tea cup. The ceramic was shockingly warm and Rory absorbed the heat.

  Andrew shot him a strange, sad look and Rory felt a pang of guilt, so he offered him an apologetic half-smile. “You’re good at this, you know.” Unlike me. “And you were good back at the store, too.” Unlike me. “And during…”

  “I thought I was going to shit myself when I saw that gun.” Andrew sat next to him. He slung an arm around Rory and tugged him closer.

  “You seemed so calm.”

  “I was freaking out on the inside.” Andrew glanced at him. “Sort of the way you’re doing right now.”

  “I’m fine.” He meant to sound insistent, but the tremor in his voice and the way water pooled in the corners of his eyes gave him away. Rory covered his face and sucked in a deep breath.

  “Roar. Roar, look me.”

  Rory forced himself to take his hands off his face and look at Andrew. He stared at Andrew, unblinking for a long moment and finally saw the fear that he hadn’t been able to see before. Rory furrowed his brow. “You called me Roar.”

  “Nick calls you Roar. I didn’t think you’d mind. I so
rt of like it.” Andrew’s cheeks pinked.

  “I sort of like it too.” Rory’s stomach clenched as he thought about the gun being pointed at Andrew. And him. Either one of them could’ve been shot and killed. Rory had seen it before. Not in person, but in a million stories on the news. Lives torn apart. Families mourning their lost loved ones. And Rory could have lost it all. The knowledge that there was so much left undone, so much left unsaid, gripped his heart.

  “Is there room in there for one more?”

  Rory turned so fast, he sloshed his tea. He yelped a little and wiped his hand on his pants. “Nicky. I didn’t expect you home so soon.”

  “I’m magic, what can I say?” Nick smiled at Rory, but it was tight and his face looked pinched. “You okay, Roar?”

  Rory rolled that question around in his head. Neither he nor Andrew had been injured. Things could be replaced. He had good insurance. The most important things in his store were tucked away in the bottom drawer of the desk in his office. Scratch that, Rory thought.

  The most important things were right here. Rory exhaled for what felt like the first time in hours. “I’m okay. Today was awful, but it’s over now.” Rory rolled his shoulders to loosen the tension and he took another deep breath. “Today was shit, Nicky, absolute shit, but today helped me realize something.”

  Nick arched an eyebrow as he stripped out of his shirt. “Yeah? What’s that?”

  “I love you.” Rory brought his gaze back to Andrew. “And you. My men. My everything.” Rory kept his gaze on Andrew and said words that were meant for them both. “I love both of you.”

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Andrew

  Andrew wasn’t afraid of love. It was the expectations that came with it. And it wasn’t that Nick and Rory didn’t have expectations, everyone did, but they never tried to force him to be something he wasn’t, or feel things he didn’t, or do things he wasn’t ready for. They expected things like honesty, with the knowledge that everything else, like trust and respect, was earned. And honesty was something that should be given freely because people you cared about deserved to hear the truth.

  “I love you, too. Both of you.” Andrew exhaled. His life, up to and including this day had been ruled by fear. Fear that he was broken because he wasn’t programmed like other people. He’d been afraid of his bisexuality for a while, mostly back when he still thought he loved Everett and when he’d been too afraid to admit his feelings.

  Since meeting Nick, Andrew had valiantly tried to overcome his fears, but it was an uphill struggle for Andrew, who worried, despite all the evidence to the contrary, that he wasn’t enough for Rory and Nick. But while honesty had to be given freely, trust had to be earned. And Andrew trusted them.

  After today, Andrew doubted he’d be scared of telling anyone how he felt. There were things in life that were a lot more terrifying than rejection or hurt feelings. Death. Unfinished business. Holding on to things that were left unsaid. Being left with regret. Andrew saw Rory swipe a tear from his cheek, then another. “Roar?”

  Rory faced him, all smiles and watery-eyed. He swiped more tears away. “I’m fine. More than fine. Get over here and kiss me, both of you.”

  Rory swiped a tear away as Andrew leaned in, then Rory grabbed Andrew’s face and kissed him hard on the mouth. He pulled away and smiled at Andrew. “You beautiful boy. You’ve given us so much. You’ve given me everything.” Rory kissed him again, slower, with more tenderness than Andrew ever thought possible. When the kiss ended, Rory smiled at him, then looked up at Nick and reached for him. Nick took Rory’s outstretched hand and hauled him to his feet. Rory wound his arms around Nick’s neck and brushed a brief kiss against his lips.

  Rory broke the kiss, then leaned against Nick. He held his other hand out toward Andrew. “Come here, you.”

  Andrew stood and stepped into the embrace. He watched Rory bite his lip and glance back and forth between him and Nick.

  “Move in with me.” Rory blurted. “Both of you.”

  Andrew could see the happy twinkle in Nick’s eyes.

  “Really?” Nick asked.

  The earnest way Nick voiced the question, so full of hope and mild disbelief, it shouldn’t have been funny, and Andrew felt ashamed for laughing but he couldn’t help it.

  “Sorry.” Andrew said once he was able to get himself under control. “But Nick, the only thing living in your condo is a plant... a very dead plant. You already live here, you just haven’t made it official yet.”

  Nick grinned at Andrew. “Fine then, wise ass, move in with us. I want you here. Roar wants you here.”

  Rory slid a hand around Andrew’s waist and pulled him closer so he could bury his face against Andrew’s chest. “Please. I want you both here with me.”

  “Yeah.” Andrew’s answer, given so freely and without hesitation, shocked him for a moment. He was used to turning every decision over in his mind until he’d thought of every possible outcome. He realized, that he did that out of fear. He’d often hoped that if he took long enough to think about a problem, that the perfect outcome would somehow present itself. But that wasn’t him trying to make the right decision. It was him avoiding making any decision at all because he feared what would happen if he chose wrong.

  Rory and Nick weren’t the wrong choice. They were the only choice.

  Bliss flooded through Andrew when Rory pulled him into a toe-curling kiss. He gripped the sides of Andrew’s face and crushed his mouth against Andrew’s. The hand that snaked down his back and cupped his ass could only belong to Nick, Andrew thought as Rory plastered himself against Andrew, like he was trying to get as close as possible but couldn’t get close enough.

  Nick settled in against his back, Rory in front. Four hands groped at his body. Nick gripped his hair, tugged his head to the side and bit into his neck. Andrew bucked against Rory, who pulled away, made eye contact with Nick over Andrew’s shoulder, then looked at Andrew.

  “Take him into our room, Nicky. Strip him down and lay him out on the bed.” Eyes the color of faded denim pinned him in place. “We’re going to play with the cub.” Rory reached up and cupped Andrew’s cheek. “Show him how happy he makes us.”

  Nick took Andrew by the hand and led him back into the bedroom. Andrew grabbed the hem of his shirt and was going to strip it off when Nick grabbed his hands and stilled them. “No, Cub. You don’t need to do anything. You don’t need to think. You need to let go and let us take control.”

  Andrew exhaled and relinquished control. He lifted his arms so Nick could tug his shirt over his head. Nick spoke to him in a quiet, but firm voice. “We’re going to take care of you. We’ll always take care of you. We’ll never do anything to hurt you.” Nick winked. “Not in any way that you don’t like. And if you want it to stop…”

  Nick trailed off, waiting for Andrew to answer. “I say red.”

  “Good boy. That’s exactly right.” Nick popped the button on Andrew’s pants and shoved his hand down the front, gripping Andrew’s cock, he gave it a few rough pumps. Andrew gasped and trembled and Nick yanked his hand away, then carefully stripped Andrew out of his clothing. “Get on the bed, Cub.”

  Andrew climbed onto the bed and stretched out on his back. He leaned back on his elbows and stared at Nick as he stripped out of his clothing. Palming his cock, Nick looked at him and grinned. “Lay flat. Lace your fingers behind your head.”

  Andrew did as he was told. He wanted to raise his head so he could see Nick again, but he didn’t want to do anything wrong. He didn’t want to disappoint them or make them think he wasn’t cut out for this kind of thing.

  “What’s wrong, Cub? Look at me.” Andrew turned his head and saw Rory. Naked, glorious and his. And Nick’s. Theirs. The thought that Andrew got to have this floored him. He wasn’t anything special. Not like Nick with his quiet confidence and his need to help people. Or like Rory, who owned who he was unapologetically. But maybe, Andrew thought, if they were special, and they chose him, that meant he was s
pecial in some small way.

  “Andrew?” Rory stood next to him, his beautiful uncut cock hung heavily between his legs. Rory leaned down and raked his fingers through Andrew’s hair. “Relax, okay? You’ve gone all stiff.” Rory grinned like the Cheshire cat. “Well, we like you stiff, but only certain parts.”

  “I don’t want to mess up.”

  Rory’s smile softened, and he leaned down, kissing Andrew on the forehead. “Everyone makes mistakes, but people who love you, love you even if you do make mistakes sometimes.” Rory kissed him on the mouth, his lips softly caressed Andrew’s and his tongue licked its way inside Andrew’s mouth, but only briefly before he pulled away. “Close your eyes. Your only job is to tell us when you’re going to come.”

  Andrew let out a breathy laugh, then closed his eyes.

  “Kiss him, Nicky.”

  The bed dipped, and a warm, familiar body settled over his. Legs straddled him. A cock brushed against his own. Broad hands slid up his torso. A set of lips barely grazed his.

  “I didn’t say to kiss his mouth, Nicky.”

  Nick pressed a kiss to Andrew’s jaw. Then his throat. He peppered kisses across his collarbone. Down his chest. He flicked Andrew’s nipple with his tongue. And Rory kept commanding him to go lower. Nick kissed a trail down his stomach. He licked at the base of Andrew’s cock.

  “Lower.”

  Andrew whimpered. His legs twitched as Nick kissed the inside of his thighs. Nick’s hands roamed Andrew’s flesh, touching him everywhere he could reach, except his aching cock that bobbed in the air, leaking pre-cum, painfully devoid of friction. Andrew shuddered and twitched, arched his hips and humped mid air as Nick kissed down the inside of his thigh.

  “Higher.” Rory commanded and finally a lube slick hand grabbed his cock. It had to be Rory’s hand, stroked him hard and fast. His grip was tight and almost painful, but so fucking good that Andrew bucked his hips, needing more.