by Ellie Rose
I feel my face heat as I touch the soft fabric, making Anna giggle.
My mom comes over to see what we are looking at, and her face beams when she sees the dress I’m holding up. “I love it!”
When I try it on, I know the dress is for me. I know that this dress is the one I am going to wear to homecoming.
I open the door to the sound of gasps from my mom and Anna.
“Yes! Definitely!” my mom exclaims.
“My brother is going to love it!” Anna sings out.
As I look at myself in the mirror, I can’t remember the last time I felt like… me.
On our way home after dropping off Anna, I know it is time to tell my parents.
Chapter 22: Present
Figuring out how to tell my parents was a lot harder than I thought. I wasn’t sure how I could tell them and see their faces after. They let me go to a public school because I begged them, and if I know my mom, she will blame herself.
A week later, the Tuesday before homecoming, I told Seth and Anna my plan.
Seth and Anna exchange a look on the bench they were sitting on as they took a break from fighting each other in the ring. “You are?” Anna asks.
“Yes… I’m just not sure how to.”
“How do you think they will react?” Seth asks, eyeing me.
“Honestly… I’m not sure I want to know.”
Since Anna found out, she has been inviting herself along when Seth and I go to the gym. If Seth had an objection to her coming, he didn’t show it.
Having them both there with me helped me more than either of them realized. I not only felt like I was becoming stronger with each day, but I felt like I was becoming emotionally stronger with them next to me.
“If you need me to be there when you tell them… I can be,” Anna tells me.
“Thank you. I appreciate it. More than you will ever know.”
Seth gets up from the bench and stretches. “I don’t know about you guys, but I’m thirsty. I’m going to go get something from the convenience store next door. You want anything?”
Asking for water, Seth leaves us, and Anna turns to me. “Can you tell me more about Beth?”
I know she wanted to know more about what happened but didn’t want to ask and upset me. “We became friends on my first day of school.”
“So like us?”
I nod my head at her. “Yeah, that was also the first day I met Joshua. I knew from the beginning something wasn’t right, but to be friends with Beth, I had to be okay with Joshua hanging out us.”
“Wait. Joshua and Beth? Does she know?”
“She’s the one that set me up to go to him that night.”
Anna’s mouth drops open in shock. “Are you kidding me? She’s the reason? Are you sure?”
“I can only guess. There was another girl who became friends with Beth and disappeared after something happened between her and Joshua. I asked Beth about it once, but she blew it off like it didn’t matter.”
Anna sighs in astonishment. “Wow. Just wow. I feel like I’m on some mystery show. I mean… There are just so many puzzles with missing pieces.”
“A mystery show I wish I wasn’t a part of. I have so many unanswered questions. Like, why did she do that? What did I do to deserve it?”
“Why not ask her?”
“I can’t. I haven’t talked to her since. And who’s to say she’ll answer my questions truthfully? She might lie. Who knows what else she lied about during our friendship? I think I’m afraid of her answers too.”
“I get it.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Beth. Everything is still painful to talk about.”
“Don’t be. I understand. She happened before I met you. The only thing that matters now is what happens after we met. Is she the reason you don’t have any other friends?”
“Honestly, I’m not sure.” I try to think back to when I became friends with Beth and her friends. “When we met, she introduced me to them. They’re known as the genius group, but I didn’t know that yet.”
Anna raised an eyebrow. “Genius group? What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Those who are fortunate to have good brain cells… at least that’s what Joshua told me.”
Anna’s mouth drops open. “Please tell me your joking?” When I shook my head, she rolls her eyes. “Wow. Just wow. And George hangs out with them? It makes me wonder if he’s just as bad as Joshua and Beth.”
“No, I don’t think he is. We never really talked because, half the time, his nose was in a book when I hung out with them at the lunch table. But I can’t say anything good or bad about him.” I bump my shoulder against hers. “You should get to know him. Find out for yourself.”
Anna’s face grows red. “I don’t even know what to say to him. I have had crushes in the past, but I have never actually talked to them. I have never even been kissed.” Anna whispers the last part as she looks around to see if Seth was back from the store.
“Well, other than being shy, what’s keeping you from talking to him?”
“Maybe because he’s smarter than me? Or maybe because I’m ugly? I mean… Have you seen my teeth?” She shows me her teeth. “Compared to him, I’m pretty sure I’m low on the totem pole when it comes to girls.”
“Anna, not all boys care looks, or how smart a girl is. It’s called personality. If a boy likes you only because you are pretty and smart, then is he really the right one for you? You are an amazing person. Look at me. Just from your bubbly personality, you brought me out of my depression. You have no idea how much you are helping me get through this. If I didn’t meet you, I’m not sure how I would have been able to get through this on my own. So, tomorrow you will talk to George, and just be yourself. Boys love that. And if he can’t see how beautiful you are, then he isn’t the right one.”
“Boys love what?” Seth said, coming back into the room with a bag in each hand. Anna and I exchange a look before answering: “nothing” at the same time, causing us both to laugh.
Seth gives us a confused look but doesn’t push any further.
The following day during the drive to school, Anna fidgets in the front seat the whole way there, and when we arrive, I pull her aside. “Are you okay?”
Anna nods her head. “Yeah, just feeling nervous about talking to George.”
I grab her hand and squeeze it. “You got this. If he doesn’t see how beautiful your personality is, then he’s not right for you.”
We head in the direction of the double doors when I hear my name being called behind me. I turn around to see Beth heading in my direction with a few of the girls from her cheerleading squad. The satisfied looks on their faces makes my stomach do somersaults.
Without thinking, I reach for Seth’s hand, and when Beth comes to a stop in front of us, her eyes stray to our joined hands before she looks back up at me.
“We need to talk,” Beth states.
“About what?”
“I know you slept with Josh while we were friends.” Beth’s eyes flash in anger, and the girls behind her snort in disgust.
Seth began to step forward, but I squeeze his hand, causing him to look at me. I shake my head at him before turning back to Beth. “Who told you that? Joshua? Or your sidekicks?”
Beth rolls her eyes. “It doesn’t matter who told me.” She glances over her shoulder at her friends for encouragement. Turning back to me with a flip of her hair. “What matters is you slept with my boyfriend.”
“For your information, I didn’t.”
Beth’s eyes flash with anger. “Leave.” She commands the girls before she looks between Seth and Anna. “Can you go?” She snaps out.
“No,” they both say together.
Beth looks taken aback but quickly recovers. “Fine, meet me in the locker room after cheerleading practice.” Without waiting for my reply, she walks off.
“That was strange.” I hear Anna say.
“Yeah, it was. Let’s go,” I try to walk again, but S
eth tightens his grip on my hand, keeping me where I am. Anna looks back at us questioningly. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, Anna. You go ahead. Paige will see you after class,” Seth says gently.
Anna looks between us both before she walks away from us.
“You don’t have to go to the locker room, Paige.”
I told Seth most of what happened that night one day after the self-defense lessons. He held my hand tightly as he listened to me talk through my tears.
“Seth, as much as I don’t want to go, I think I should,” I tell him.
“I can’t stop you, can I?”
When I shake my head, he sighs. “At least take Anna with you.”
“No, I’ll be fine. You guys can wait for me in the parking lot while I talk to her. It shouldn’t take that long.”
Seth doesn’t look convinced, but he nods. I give him a small smile before turning around to walk again. My hand stays connected to his.
The school day ended quicker than I would have liked.
“I can go with you if you want?” Anna says when I tell her my decision.
I shake my head at her “No. It’s okay. I can ask my mom to pick me up after. I’ll text you later.”
Anna’s face reflects how worried she is, so I reach over to hug her. “I’ll be fine. I promise.” I’m lying, though. She smiles slowly and throws me one last anxious look before she turns away and heads for the parking lot.
I head to football field at the left of the school, where cheerleading practice takes place.
I arrive at the bleachers a few feet away, as the cheerleaders begin their cool down. Beth is at the front of the pack; she must be the head cheerleader this year.
I sit down in the bleachers, and if Beth notices, she doesn’t acknowledge me.
I remember when I used to stay after school to watch the cheerleaders in their formation. Sometimes Beth would let me come down to be part of the practice when one girl was out sick.
I’m writing in my notebook when I hear someone clambering up the stairs and sliding next to me on the bench.
I instantly tense and slowly look sideways at the person. My body relaxes when I realize it is Anna.
“What are you doing here?” I ask her in astonishment.
“I told you what happens before we met doesn’t matter, but what happens now does. You’re my best friend, and I’m here for you.” Anna watches the cheerleaders as they begin to climb on one another to form a pyramid.
Warmth spreads through my body, and I put a hand on her shoulder to get her to look at me.
“Thank you.”
She smiles at me before turning back to the cheerleading practice.
We sit together in silence, watching the practice below us until I remember something. I grab Anna’s arm. “Hey, how did the talk go with George?”
Anna shrugs with a frown on her face. “Like you said, he’s not the right guy for me.”
“Oh no. What happened?”
“It’s not important.”
“Anna…”
“He basically ignored me and was too busy studying his book of anatomy.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. There is someone better out there for me. What is that favorite saying that everyone likes to say? ‘There’s plenty of fish in the sea,’ or something like that?”
I give her a side hug. “There is. Somebody, someday, will see that your beautiful inside and out.”
A few minutes later, the cheerleading practice ended, and my nerves feel on edge. The cheerleaders head for the locker room with Beth leading them.
“You ready?” Anna asks me.
No, I’m not. But instead of saying this, I nod my head, my lips pressed firmly together. We stand up and head to the locker room.
At the door, I turn to Anna, “Can you wait out here while I talk to her?” Anna hesitates at first but nods her head.
I enter the locker room and notice that some of the squad is still in there. They look over at me in wonder.
“Leave us,” Beth’s voice comes from somewhere in the locker room.
The girls all look at each other before gathering their things and leaving the room one by one. Beth comes around the corner of a set of lockers and leans against the end of it. Her blue eyes on me.
We stare at each other for a few seconds in silence.
“So, you want to talk?”
Beth says nothing right away. She moves away and walks toward her locker at the end of the row. She opens her locker and pulls out something from her backpack.
“My mom died.”
My mouth drops open in shock, “What…? When…?”
“A few weeks ago. Her body couldn’t deal with the stress of cancer, so it gave out on her.” Her voice has no trace of emotion.
“I’m—”
Beth shakes her head, stopping me. “Don’t.” She doesn’t want to hear my empathy. We are no longer friends, but even after everything that has happened, I felt an overpowering urge to give it.
“Do you want- “
“I know.” Beth opens her hand, and looks down, her face pale.
My stomach clenches as my heart starts to race. “You know what?”
Beth turns around, and without looking at me, she puts what in her hand on the bench between us. It is the necklace she brought me at the mall. “I know what happened to you.” She whispers, looking slowly up at me, tear streaks down her face.
“Where did you find that?”
“Underneath his bed. When I asked him about it, he said that you came over and threw yourself on him.” She sits down on the bench. “I acted like I was angry and left.”
Shock and confusion washes over me as what she says starts to sink in. None of this makes sense. “But you knew about it. You texted me to meet you at Joshua’s house.”
“I didn’t text you. I haven’t texted you in months.”
“The fourth of July. I was heading back from the fireworks when you texted my phone. I went to Joshua’s that night to talk to you. You weren’t there. He raped me, and you let it happen,” I choke out as tears sting my eyes.
Beth’s mouth is slightly ajar as she takes in the information I am telling her. She shakes her head at me. “My mom passed away the day before. Joshua took me to a college party that he knew about so I could drink. When I woke up the next day, Joshua was gone and so was my phone.”
Shock ripples through my body. I drop to sit on the bench next to her. “So, you didn’t text me that night?”
She shakes her head at me, and a sudden wave of nausea hits me. “He set it up. He planned the whole thing.”
“He’s like that. He needs to always be in complete control.” She lets out a short, mirthless laugh.
“Wait,” I turn to her. “You know what Joshua did?” Then I notice. She’s looking down at her lap. Her shaking hands are clasped together shaking. Her face is pale like a sheet.
Something clicks in my head, and I gasp. “Beth?” I don’t want to ask her this question, but I need to know the answer. “Were you his first victim?”
Seconds seem to pass before she slowly nods her head. Tears falling fast down her face now.
“Tell me what happened.”
She stands up from the bench and turns away from me.
I wait for her to talk, but when she doesn’t, I get up from the bench to walk out of the locker room, snorting in anger. “Of course, you won’t tell me. You took his side with Wendy. Why would I be any different?”
“I… I don’t remember.”
Her voice is tiny and barely audible, but it stops me in my tracks.
I wait for her to continue. Several heartbeats pass before she does. “It was the night of the first football game. We had only been dating a few weeks. He asked me to go back to his house because he forgot something…” She pauses and takes a deep breath. “While we were there, he gave me a drink. I’d never had alcohol before, but he made it seem like everyone at school was trying it. I figured it
wouldn’t hurt. I felt faint and don’t remember much after that. Now and then, I have flashes of him above me, but that’s it. I woke up the next day with him in bed next to me. He told me we both got drunk, and one thing led to another.”
She turns around then to look at me, tears streaming down her face.
“What happened to Wendy and what happened to you, it was my fault. He convinced me to be your friend. He has a thing for new girls.”
“What do you mean for new girls?”
Beth swallows and paces before me. “When Joshua was born, and his mother died in childbirth, his father wanted nothing to do with him. He pushed him off on to Joshua’s grandmother. His grandmother did horrible things to him. She would lock him in closets if he did something wrong, she would beat him with belts, and she used to give him sleeping pills so he wouldn’t bother her when she had company over.”
Beth sits down on the edge of the bench and puts her head in her hands. “Everyone knows about his past. Everyone who has grown up here knows what happened with his father and grandmother. So, whenever there was a new girl, he would go after her. At first, it was like a game. He would get me to become friends with the new girl and would follow them around. He would win when the girl would come to school the next day and not remember a thing. He enjoyed it so much. Instead of just a game, it turned into far worse.”
“Wait a minute. How many other girls have there been?”
“I… I lost count. No one has ever come forward. He slips them GHB at parties, and when they wake up in a bedroom, they don’t even know what happened.”
All the pieces of this never-ending, bizarre puzzle seem to fall into place. Joshua has been doing this for a while, and nobody has come forward, except—
“What about Wendy?”
I can hear sniffles coming from Beth as she continues to break down in front of me. “She remembered everything. It was like the GHB didn’t work. Joshua was furious. He demanded I get rid of Wendy, but I didn’t know how to do that. I told her I didn’t believe her, and no one else ever would. She told me she would say something anyway and didn’t care if no one believed her because at least she would warn others about Joshua. And then…” She sighs. “She just disappeared. No one ever saw her again, and no one knows what happened to her.”