by Tim Blagge
“Bill, in my travels around Velador, it has become apparent to me that the people here have lost much of their cultural tradition and identity.” Brenda began to philosophize. “Like Earth, each State or country has a long and diverse history. Over the eons, this diversity has blended together so that most people dress, act, talk and think similarly. Joanna and I decided to honor this planet’s past distinct identities and make a statement that being different and holding on to traditional values is not a bad thing.”
“Jerry and I went with typical Veladorian attire but instead of the usual off white color, we are wearing navy blue. And to differentiate us, I’m wearing a red sash and Jerry’s wearing a yellow one. When we tried on our outfits, we both agreed we looked a lot like Karate fighters so it appealed to our macho self image.” I explained.
You’re the macho man in my world Bill,” Brenda confessed, “and I can’t wait to get my hands on you.”
“Why wait Brenda?” I offered. “What’re a couple days among friends?”
“In this situation Bill, it’s not about friendship, it’s about lust and believe me I’m as anxious as you. But two days won’t kill us.”
Grandma walked into the room and asked Brenda, how the preparations for the ceremony were going?
“Grandma, I really don’t know what to expect. Stella’s production company is handling all the details and because they have the rights to broadcast it globally, I think they are making it a big event. They said they wanted to surprise us. Since I have no idea how to organize anything here, especially on short notice, I was glad to let them do it.”
“I did explain to their representative that we needed some kind of ordained minister to preside but I’m not sure they understood the term ‘ordained’. I also gave them some minimum requirements like the vows we would say to each other and the fact that Pops was giving us away and that a marriage license was a requirement. Other than that, we’ll just take everything as it comes.” Brenda added.
“Are you going on any kind of honeymoon?” Grandma asked.
“I think so.” Brenda answered. “Rolf’s friend in Utah, CEO Blosh, offered to let us stay at his vacation house or estate. It’s in an area of Utah that has one of the more tropical climates on Velador and it’s on a beach. Bill and I, and Jerry and Joanna will be staying there. As I understand it, the place is big enough so privacy won’t be an issue. Why don’t you and Pops join us, Grandma?”
“I’d love to Brenda, but Pops and I have too much work to do getting all the new factories up and running. There will be plenty of time to vacation after this threat is behind us. I am so looking forward to the wedding, though. You and Bill are meant for each other and I know he loves you dearly and has for years.” Grandma said in her typically sincere manner.
.
The next afternoon, Pops arrived back from his factories to get ready for the weddings.
“Bill, is Jerry here?” Pops asked. “I figure it’s my duty to take you guys out for some kind of bachelor party. When I tried to explain to a couple of my engineers what I had in mind, they gave me the name of this bar or establishment in Prossfell. I’m not sure what to expect but I thought the three of us could go out tonight.”
“Jerry’s still at work but he should be home soon.” I answered. “That sounds like fun Pops and I’m sure Jerry will be up for it.”
When Jerry got home, I told him about Pop’s plan. We all showered and met in the living room to say bye to the girls.
“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do young man,” Brenda cautioned.
“C’mon Brenda, I’d like to have some fun. It’s my last night as a free man and I haven’t sown any wild oats, well, maybe ever!” I added.
“It’s not wild oats I’m worried about Bill. Just take care and go ahead,” Brenda smiled and said. We all kissed and hugged our respective women and went outside to look for a transporter.
When we gave the location of our destination to the transporter driver, he turned to us and asked if we were sure we had the right address.
“I think so,” Pops replied.
“Okay then. We’ll be there in a couple minutes,” the driver said.
The driver proceeded to manipulate some levers and the transporter rose straight up to a height above the buildings and made a bee line about two miles to the North. He then came down and parked in front of an older looking building in what looked like a less affluent part of town.
“They do serve food here, don’t they?” I asked the driver.
“Yes they do,” was his answer.
We exited the transporter and went into the building. As soon as we went through the door, the male host looked at us, pushed a small device on his lapel and announced over a loud speaker to the patrons. “We have some special guests who have just arrived! Our friends from Earth are here and if you’d like to get a close-up look at them, come on over.”
About forty people rushed over and all gave us their understanding of an Earth handshake. The host eventually cleared the area and we were seated at a booth in the corner in the next room over. As we entered the room, it became obvious to all of us. This was a Veladorian version of a strip club.
“Who would have thought that strip clubs would exist in a culture this advanced,” Jerry commented.
“I guess that proves that sex never goes out of style,” Pops said and added, “I wonder if they have beer here. I haven’t had a beer since the day we left Earth.”
A significantly endowed young woman came over to us and asked if we would like to order something. Her hair was in disarray and the front of her tunic was open to her waist showing more than I cared to see.
Pops spoke into a portable translation device that his engineers have built for him. He spoke English into and it translated the words into Veladorian. “Do you have beer?” Pops asked.
The questioned stumped the waitress so for the next few minutes Pops explained how beer was made in an effort to make the woman understand what we wanted. A light seemed to go on in her head and she nodded and went to the bar. A few minutes later she brought back what looked like three beers in an extra large tumbler with a straw. She called it Planshoo.
“Okay,” Pops said. “Who’s going to play guinea pig and try this stuff?”
With that challenge Jerry picked up his glass, put the straw to his lips and took several sips.
“It doesn’t taste like beer, but it’s not bad,” he said.
We all began to drink the beverage and Jerry was right. It had the effervescence of beer but had more of an unidentified fruit flavor. When our waitress came back to take our order, we asked her if there was any alcohol in Planshoo. Again we got a blank stare. So we decided to keep drinking and ordered dinner from the menu. Since no one knew what any of the symbols represented we just pointed. The waitress realized our illiteracy and pronounced each dish as we ordered it. The translation in our earpiece sounded like it could be some indigenous animal but we were only guessing.
When our meal came we were about three quarters through our drinks and I was starting to feel a little tipsy.
“How do you feel Pops? I’m starting to feel this drink a little.” I said.
“Me too” Jerry said and Pops agreed.
We asked the waitress if the drink produced a hangover. Again she didn’t understand that question either. When we asked her if a person felt sick the next morning if they drank too much of the stuff; she still looked confused.
“Bill, call Stella or Rolf and ask them what’s in this drink.” Jerry said.
I went into another area of the joint where it was a little quieter and made my call. Stella answered and I explained our situation to her. She was laughing and said she was aware of our visit to the underbelly of Prossfell as she called it. In fact she informed me that Jerry was dancing with one of the female performers at that very moment.
“How’d you know that?” I asked.
“My guess is that someone in the establishment called a local TV station and l
et them know you were there.” Stella explained. “They began broadcasting your visit about thirty minutes ago and have been giving us one minute updates ever since. Don’t forget you are all celebrities here and your adoring public wants to know what you’re up to. And Planshoo; don’t have more than one. It won’t leave you with a hangover but two would make it hard to find your way home.”
“Thanks for the info Stella. I’d better go save Jerry. I don’t want our fiancés to see our little escapade. See you tomorrow.”
When I reentered the main room, Jerry was sipping on his second glass of Planshoo and was dancing with one of the ‘entertainers’. He appeared to be having a good time but his dance moves were awkward. The music they were playing had an irregular beat; first it was fast and then it slowed. Jerry was trying to keep in time with the music and he wasn’t. His failure seemed to be an endless source of humor to him and the Veladorian onlookers.
I approached Jerry on the dance floor and said, “Hey buddy, let’s finish dinner and get back to the apartment. I just found out that we’re all over Veladorian TV.”
Jerry gave me that ‘oops’ look and we went back to our table and we completed eating our mystery meal.
When we arrived back at the apartment, we were nearly sober. I don’t know what Planshoo is, but it didn’t stay in our systems long and I was thankful for that.
“Hey, boys, did you have a good time?” Brenda asked laughing.
“You tell us, Brenda. I suppose you saw everything, didn’t you?” I said.
“Yes, we saw it all and on world-wide TV too!” Joanna answered. “What have you got to say for yourself Jerry Smith?”
“I love you, and I’m going to marry you tomorrow whether you like it or not.” Jerry answered talking directly to Joanna as he went over and kissed her tenderly.
“And Bill, I’m going to bed, I’m tired,” Jerry added. “And I want you to know it also gives me great pleasure to ask you for the very last time; when will you be retiring?”
“I’ll be there soon, honey.” I answered.
-Chapter 13-
At Grandma’s urging, Jerry and I awakened early so we could leave before the girls got up. Pops went with us and we all went to breakfast at a local eatery and proceeded to a waiting room in the building where the ceremony was to be held.
As we engaged in small talk, Stella and Rolf walked in.
“Greetings, fellow Veladorians” I said as I gave them the Mr. Spock split finger salute.
“Have a great wedding, men.” Rolf said and added. “I know you are all busy today but unless you disagree, Stella and I will accompany you to Utah after the ceremony. We can meet tomorrow and go over any changes to our plans. And Pops get as many vessels built as fast as you can. We’re going to need them”
“We should have six more vessels coming off the line today and tomorrow so if you have pilots trained, that should help some.” Pops said.
“Pilots and crews are trained and on the way to your factory now.” Rolf said.
Rolf shook all our hands and Stella gave us a ‘good luck’ hug and they left.
We proceeded to the hall where the ceremony was to be performed. We waited about a half hour until the minister came in and introduced his assistant named Scogmifsox. “Scogmifsox ‘bok’ Gopher,” Jerry said.
Gopher seemed a little star-struck when he met us and explained that ours was the grandest and most heavily broadcast ceremony ever on Velador. “I just saw Chancellor ‘B’ and four State CEO’s in the audience. I’ve never been so close to this many important people.” Gopher gushed.
“So Bill and Jerry,” Gopher continued. “Here is the plan for the ceremony.” At Brenda’s direction, the beginning sounded similar to weddings on Earth.
Jerry and I were to enter the raised, stage-like area first. Jerry would be on the left and I was to be on the right. After we were in position, Pops was to walk Grandma down the aisle and seat her in the front row. He was then to walk back up the aisle, get Joanna and walk her to the front and present her to Jerry. She was to take Jerry’s arm and get positioned next to him while Pops returned down the aisle to repeat the process with Brenda and me.
The minister was to say a few words and then each couple would be invited to the center, in front of the podium, to offer personal vows and exchange rings.
“It’s time to go,” Gopher said.
Jerry and I walked slowly up the center aisle and were amazed at the crowd. At least five hundred of our currently unknown, closest friends were seated in the large hall. We took our positions on the stage. I was impressed because there was an orchestra of about twenty musicians playing an odd song in the same uneven tempo of the songs we’d heard at the bar we visited the prior night.
After Pops seated Grandma next to Stella, Rolf, Chancellor ‘B’ and what looked like other dignitaries, he went back for Joanna. As he started to bring her up the aisle, the band actually played a Veladorian version of ‘Here Comes the Bride’. The tempo kept changing, so Joanna slowly walked up the aisle ignoring the beat of the music. She smiled at the crowd and especially at Jerry. She looked beautiful and I was touched by how mature she looked. In what seemed like just a few months, she had blossomed from being my kid sister into a confident woman.
After Joanna took her place beside Jerry, Pops went back for Brenda. As they walked up the aisle, the crowd began to cheer. Brenda in her travels around Velador, with her consistent message of hope and her infectious enthusiasm, had become a favorite of the people. Brenda looked around at the excited crowd, smiled, waved and mouthed the words ‘thank you’. I figured the people couldn’t read lips, especially in English, but they didn’t care. They just kept on cheering!
As Brenda approached the stage, her gaze turned toward me and she had me. Her look said I love you and I want you. I tried to return the visual message because that’s what I felt. When she arrived, I took her in my arms and hugged her. The crowd cheered wildly again.
The minister, who was quite tall, was dressed in a black robe and looked a little like a judge back home. He motioned for the crowd to be seated and began.
“I want to thank everyone here for attending and everyone across Velador for watching this union between our friends from Earth. Even though most of us have never met these people personally, we have all lived their tumultuous lives right along side of them the last several months. It makes us feel that we are offering our best wishes to some very special friends; friends who now are devoting their courage and tenacity to helping our beloved world!”
Another cheer from the crowd erupted and this one was the loudest yet. When the noise subsided, the minister called Joanna and Jerry forward. After some references to a higher being and universal consciousness, he invited them to offer their vows. Jerry spoke first.
“Joanna, I have known you all your life. In the last few months, you have shown me the tender, giving and loving person that you are. I promise you with everything in my being to love you and support you and keep you safe. I am looking forward to a long and wonderful life together.”
“Joanna”, the minister continued, “is there anything you would like to say?”
“Jerry, one of my earliest recollections is you being my brother’s best friend. I looked up to you as an honest, loyal and strong, older boy who was always beyond my reach.
Jerry, you have become one of the most honorable men I have ever known. You are brave and faithful and you make me feel loved and cherished.
I freely give you my love forever and am looking forward to spending the rest of my life with you.”
After the Minister went through the ‘do you take thee’ part and the ring exchange, he pronounced Jerry and Joanna husband and wife. When he turned toward me, I expected to get nervous but I didn’t. It was a pleasant and surprising development. The minister invited me to deliver my vows and I stepped forward, turned and looked at Brenda.
“Brenda, I think I have loved you since the first time I saw you in High School. While I was
an academic and you were at the top of the social popularity pyramid, I knew that I would never have the opportunity to date anyone like you. I thank Jerry for daring me to ask you out. His challenge brought me out of my shyness to begin what is turning out to be a lifelong union. If there were words to express my joy at marrying you this day, I would say them. If I could love you more I would, but it’s simply not possible.
Our lives together have already taken some weird and wonderful twists and turns and I think I’d better warn you; they are probably not over. Brenda I pledge you my lifelong fidelity, devotion and love.”
“Brenda,” The minister continued. “Please give us your vows.”
I’m not sure if it was what I said, how I said it, both, or if she was rethinking the whole marriage idea but Brenda had tears rolling down her cheeks as she stepped forward.
“Bill, I want you to know that you are the most exasperating and wonderful man I have ever met. You are smart, witty and best of all you love me. My time away from you during college made me realize how special you are. No one else I’ve ever met can match your fire, resolve and down to earth approach to life’s dilemmas.
I promise to always love you and be the friend and partner you deserve. To reinforce your comment, our crazy life in the recent months and an unknown future will only produce a stronger, lasting and growing love.”
After the Minister completed Brenda’s and my part of the ceremony he pronounced us husband and wife. Brenda took my arm and we proceeded down the aisle, followed by Jerry and Joanna, Pops and Grandma, Rolf and Stella and the other dignitaries. When we got outside, the strangeness in our lives ratcheted up a notch. Waiting for us were two of the ‘bumper car style’ vehicles that were common transportation in Prossfell. The difference was that these had had the tops removed looking more like a large convertible.