by Burke, Dez
It took several moments for him to get his breath back, his elbows planked on either side of her, holding most of his weight off her body. He rested his temple against hers, his chest heaving raggedly.
“That’s going to improve,” he whispered, darkened eyes now scanning her face.
Angela stared at him wondrously. “Trust me, there’s nothing to improve. Holy shit, Shane. I’ve never felt like that. I don’t think that will be so easy to top,” she breathed with more than a little awe.
Shane gave her a small smirk and she gasped inaudibly, sensing the thickening of his shaft deep inside her as he growled, “That’s what you think….”
Chapter Twelve
Two months later…
How had Angela managed to be so blind?
He hadn’t needed a mindreader to tell him why she’d walked away. He’d been devastated when he’d woken up that morning and she was gone, after the best night of his life. After Angela had given herself to him, he’d been so sure he had it all worked out. That like him, she felt it; that electric surge between them that was like a force of nature. Something too powerful and precious to deny or cast aside.
It pained and tormented him each day since then to find out he’d been wrong.
Hating himself for his weakness even as he succumbed to it, Shane slowly pulled out something from his locked drawer. The latest file on Angela, gathered by the investigator he’d hired. Every new picture of her showed her even more beautiful and alluring than the last. His heart pounded and then tightened with emotions he couldn’t define as he stared at her smiling as she walked into a studio accompanied by one of her co-actors. She’d been all over the news lately. One of the first black American women to land a lead role in a major crime series. Critics were praising producers for taking the risk as well as commending Angela Neil for giving an impressive performance at the auditions.
Shane was happy for her. That her fairy tale was coming true. He’d always wished he could give her the world and now she had the world at her feet. She wouldn’t need him. Probably already forgotten, happily so, that he’d ever existed. But for him, she was never far from his thoughts; his dreams.
Angela had struck his heart in so many ways. She’d never acted turned off by his face. He thought money could buy him anything. But Angela showed him she was different. She’d chosen to face the uncertain world of chasing her acting career, then spending a few more months with him at whatever price he wanted to think up. Shane had intended to make it one generous enough to make her find it impossible to refuse. But she’d never given him the chance to make an offer and deep down, he guessed she’d never have agreed to it anyway. She couldn’t be bought at any price.
He wanted her back. With all his soul and mind. However, she’d obviously moved on and he had no right hoping that somehow, she’d find her way back to him.
And yet…maybe he didn’t have to wait and hope. He wasn’t going to keep staring into the horizon wishing and wondering. He’d been scarred by rejection too many times since the attack. But this time, here was something worth fighting for.
He could win her back. He knew it. All he needed to do was become a man she’d be proud to be with.
Grabbing his cellphone, he quickly punched in a number.
“Chandler. It’s Shane.”
“Hey buddy,” his friend answered, still groggy from sleep. “Kind of early on a Sunday morning to be calling, don’t you think?”
“Yeah, sorry about that. I’ll cut to the chase. How is my car? Is she tuned up?”
“Hell yeah, buddy! You know I keep her in tip-top shape. Why? You thinking about taking her for a spin?”
“Can you load her up and bring her to the track? Say in an hour? I’ve already made some calls and reserved the track time.”
“Hot damn! You bet your sweet Jesus I can! Beverly, wake up and get dressed,” Shane heard him say to his still sleeping wife. “Shane wants to drive! Holy shit! This is the best news I’ve heard in forever. See you in an hour, buddy.”
****
Angela had done everything she was supposed to do to get her break in the film industry. She’d managed to land a dependable agent, and she’d built up a composite as well as her resume of acting classes plus all those plays during high school and college. She’d always wanted to do this; it had been either acting or modeling. But since her love for the stage had been far more attractive, she’d focused on being the best actor she could be.
Angela had tried to avoid going the predictable route such as focusing on finding roles in African-American movies. She’d hoped in some way she could cross-over not just parts but genres as well. That feature film had looked like a way to open doors for her. But ever since she’d committed the blunder of dating her producer she’d needed to step back and recoup.
Megan, her agent had done a great job of securing Angela as many interviews for parts as she could. Aside from the one episode of getting Angela involved with Shane Davis, everything had been going along fine.
But that was in the past now. How long had it been again? Two months? She’d numbed herself to the agony of watching the days crawl by after that last, unforgettable night. She still woke up in the middle of the night, bathed in sweat and her panties soaked in memory of Shane’s indefatigable passion. The rush…the mesmeric high he gave her with each passing orgasm. As for those, she’d long lost count how many she’d received at his hands, his lips – and at the end of his cock.
How she’d managed to walk away she’d never cease to wonder. He’d said he only wanted, needed one night so she knew what was coming in the morning. She’d fled while he was still sleeping. The one thing she couldn’t bear was him telling her goodbye before sending her on her merry way.
She’d thrown herself into work to survive. Though she wasn’t the superstar celeb actress she’d dreamed she’d be at this stage she couldn’t help but count her blessings. She still had friends in the business who never got anything more than a walk-through in the background of local commercials. She was lucky to never have had to go through that.
To keep herself busy, Angela had done as much networking as she could squeeze in. Only last week she’d attended an actor’s guild event where she’d met Kirk Stone who was well known for going all over the country scouting for major studios based out west. He had a couple of auditions lined up there in LA, where Angela had moved for the next few months.
He suggested that her agent call him to fix her up for the auditions. “There’ll be a full production set with video equipment and a handful of other actors alongside so that we can do a few screen tests. I think you’ll be perfect for the part.”
His green eyes had raked over her with more than mild appreciation. Angela had felt surprised to note the interest in his demeanor. He was very good looking, with only slightly receding wavy blond hair tied back in a ponytail.
She didn’t know what to say when he invited her out to dinner with him sometime that week.
“It’ll give us more time to discuss the upcoming role and everything entailed in getting it. From where I’m standing right now, I can say your chances of landing the part are all but foolproof.”
Yes, but at what price, Angela wondered shrewdly, recognizing the game for what it was. “My agent will love to call you. I just finished auditioning for a crime series interested in using a Black-American female lead. So I’m happy for more opportunities. And as for the dinner…I’ll let you know soon.”
But Angela knew her answer would be ‘no’. Kirk was very good looking and influential, but she didn’t roll like that. She’d vowed from the start not to sleep her way into anything. If she wanted to take a man to bed it would be on her terms and not with an incentive attached.
Angela was used to the pressure from men in the industry: even from other actors. Especially those traditional Hollywood types; tall, handsome. Promising to get her that one step ahead. Angela wasn’t about that life.
Angela had a lot in her history she already wasn
’t proud of. She didn’t want to add any more to it. As she turned away from Kirk’s good-natured yet disappointed smile, she walked away with a polite nod and smile of her own. With her drink in hand she eased herself into the crowd of guests, once again feeling the dreariness that crept up to her in times she least expected. Even with a roomful of people, she still felt gloomy and alone. She didn’t want to think of him. Wonder what he was doing. Who he was with now. Definitely someone more suited to his social circles and standing. Yeah. She wished him luck with that.
Actually, no, she didn’t. She wished him the best in life because he deserved it. She hoped he found someone who loved him, really hard. And who would stand up for him and fight for what she knew in her heart was a future that was theirs. All the things Angela had not had the courage to do…
****
Angela sighed and took a quick gulp from the glass of wine she held. Why was it that when she was meant to be at her happiest, thoughts of Shane crept up in her mind? Tonight, all her closest friends and colleagues were gathered to celebrate her, all thanks to her newly acquired lead role in the highly anticipated crime series which would start filming over the next few months.
She’d been shocked and overwhelmed to be picked in the end. She didn’t know how it happened. The people at the studio and the TV company told her they’d been impressed by her past roles in the one small feature film and on stage. She was exactly what they were looking for in the character, they said. After they'd seen her at the auditions they hardly bothered to look at anyone else. It was sealed when they watched the tapes again and they’d wasted no time in giving her a callback.
Now that she’d been signed on, she couldn’t wait for production to begin. She already had the script and the rehearsal schedule. Understandably, she was still walking on a cloud.
But just when she least expected it, she’d think about Shane and the smile would falter on her lips. Her heart would thump with an agony that made her feel breathless. Oh God. She couldn’t take this. If she went on this way, she knew she’d break down one day, and give in to tears of pain and regret at the fact that the one thing able to complete her happiness was gone forever.
I don’t want you to fall in love with me. In the end we’ll both go our merry way.
Those were one of the first things he ever told her. And that was the one part of the bargain she hadn’t been able to keep her side of…
“Great party, Angela.”
There was a trace of humor in that deep, familiar voice that had Angela spinning round.
“Kirk!”
He held his arms out for an embrace. Angela hesitated for a moment before stiltedly walking into a hug that seemed drawn on too long. Smiling politely, she drew back.
He waved his arms about expressively. “You didn’t think I’ll let your big day go without helping you celebrate?” He smiled warmly down at her, looking with appreciation at her body encased in a beautifully styled gown designed by a fast-rising West African designer based in the United States. “You look fabulous.”
Angela was surprised and touched to hear the sincere note in his voice. “Thank you, Kirk. That means a whole lot.”
“Will you dance with me, Ms. Neil?”
Angela’s lips couldn’t keep from smiling. Nodding in assent, she put her hand in his and followed him to a clearing in the crowded dance floor of the club hired for the occasion as she internally decided to make a better effort at enjoying her own party.
****
Shane didn’t notice any of the stares the other guests at the club gave him. Some recognized him, and some simply stared for the sake of his scars. He’d had his hair cut today; something to keep the unruly mane more tamed and yes, less able to conceal his disfigured side. No more masks, he’d vowed. In more ways than one, he was laying himself bare.
In his hands were a bunch of beautiful red roses. He felt a little out of place in the brightly lit club filled with the fun-loving crowd, but he hid it well. He’d taken care in his dressing, wearing something semi-formal and trendy. He’d wanted to look his best when he showed up, trying to win Angela back.
But then when his eyes found her at the other end of the room, what he saw made his heart constrict. Lord she was beautiful. Like a dream. She wore a strapless black number that emphasized the gentle slopes and valleys that were her curves. Her hair was pinned up in a fashionably messy bun, with tendrils teasing her shoulders and nape. Her neck was bare of jewelry and all she had on to complement the outfit were tiny gold bracelets on her left wrist, a slim gold watch on the other, and strappy high heels on her feet. Her face was in profile and she chose that moment to turn her face in his direction. There seemed to be a cloud of sadness beneath her beautiful eyes, her full lips pursing slightly as she seemed to sigh before taking another glass of wine.
He wasn’t sure what made her look so sad, and lonely. All Shane knew was that he could sense it. And every part of him wanted to rush to her side and chase that look away. Replace it with a smile of happiness and contentment, all which he hoped to give her and more.
Ignoring the low murmurs of a couple standing nearby who hadn’t stopped staring since he arrived, Shane began to make his way over to Angela. And then Shane saw him.
Shane felt his hands tighten on the bouquet of roses as Kirk opened his arms for Angela to move into them. He stopped dead in his tracks and viewed their exchange. He watched the tell-tale flush on Angela’s face as her hand was taken in Kirk’s. Then they shared a look that seemed intimate and even tender. Shane had to keep from dashing through the crowd and forcibly pulling Angela away.
But he didn’t do that. Instead, he stood there in the middle of the floor and watched Kirk lead Angela away to dance. She stepped shyly into Kirk’s embrace as they began to sway to the sultry music. Her hand rested on Kirk’s shoulder, while her other was held in Kirk’s grip which was also around her waist. Kirk whispered something in Angela’s ear and she threw her head back and laughed. It faintly reached Shane and even with his anger and hurt, he felt his cock stir hearing her sweet, soft mirth.
He couldn’t do this.
He must have been out of his mind. Coming down here, believing that anything he said would make a difference. As if. Angela would do just fine without him. He would only be an unwanted distraction. A man who’d rather pay a woman to play his girlfriend, than actually date in a normal relationship. Shane hadn’t wanted either him or the woman to get emotionally involved, hence his decision to get a fake girlfriend. But now he realized he had not only become emotionally distracted and involved, he’d actually become totally fucked.
He couldn’t live without Angela. But he couldn’t stay. Couldn’t let her know he’d been about to make an utter fool of himself.
Shaking his head at his own stupidity, Shane turned swiftly and made for the exit.
****
Something moved the hairs on the back of her neck, sending a chill down her spine that Angela couldn’t shake off. That was when she looked up, her eyes searching the crowd.
She was just in time to see an unmistakable figure turn and begin to walk in the direction of the exit. Angela’s heart almost stopped beating.
Shane.
It had to be him. She knew that shape of head anywhere; that well-formed slope of broad shoulders and the way he carried himself. His hair was far shorter, and he seemed a little leaner in his perfectly tailored suit. But just one glimpse and she knew her eyes, heart and mind were not deceiving her.
“Please, would you excuse me a minute Kirk,” Angela said somewhat dreamily, as she slipped from the surprised hold of her dance partner. By the time she was walking swiftly from him, she’d already forgotten he existed, her mind solely on catching up with the retreating figure.
She couldn’t call out for him because of the noise from the crowd and the music. All of a sudden she wished she could make the whole club part down the middle so she could make her way to him faster. Shane, here. He’d come for her. Why was he leaving? Please,
come back! Her heart cried over and over.
He must have seen me with Kirk, and drawn his own conclusion, Angela realized. She could only imagine how it must have looked. All she could think of was that he’d made it here, in front of all these people just so he could see her. Her heart swelled and broke at the same time, knowing he’d felt he wasn’t welcome and decided it was best to leave.
By the time she made it outside, she was breathless. She looked to the left and right of the street and was just in time to see Shane at the end of the road, entering the back seat of a black, chauffeur-driven Audi.
No, stop!
Angela felt swept by the feeling of helplessness as she made to run faster but saw the car already begin to drive away. In moments it was disappearing round the corner and she stumbled to a halt on staggering heels, her heart heavy and bleeding with loss.
Chapter Thirteen
Angela went to see her father that weekend and he looked better than the last time which was weeks ago. She knew she’d find less and less time to be with him once shooting for the first season began. She was so happy to see him looking stronger and now sitting out in the roofed patio of the facility, enjoying the gentle breeze entering from the garden.
He couldn’t talk much, which was fine since Angela was happy to do all the talking. She needed a listening ear even more than she needed words of advice, which was why she was there. Her younger sister Sasha had been a pillar of support. Sasha heard all Angela had to tell her about Shane, and had only one conclusion: what’s it worth to you to have him back, she’d asked?
Angela had never known Sasha could be so wise. Sasha had laughed when Angela had said exactly that. “Not wise, sis. I’m just thinking with my heart, which is what you should be doing. If it’s worth more to you to move on with your life than to go back and see where things go with you and him, then by all means, move on with your life. But if not…”