30
Rita
The One with the Voicemail from Rita
March 5th, 10:35 a.m.
“Eddie Cannavale! It’s your favorite agent, Rita Baskin. Good news, sweetie. I just got word from Debra Silver.
You got the part.
Everyone over there was blown away by your take on the character and the reading.
Blown. Away.
You did it.
We did it!
Are you glad I put you up for this, or what? I’m a genius. Go on, you can say it.
They’ll have the deal memo to me tomorrow and we’ll get you a contract soon.
Pre-production starts early June in LA right after you wrap End Zone in Vancouver, so it’s all good.
Welcome to the Big Time, kid.
’Kay, I gotta jump to the other line. Talk later. Bye.”
EPILOGUE ONE – Eddie
June 7th, 10:45 a.m.
“Hey babe. We just finished with the script read-through, so I should be able to meet you for lunch. It went incredibly well—I can’t even believe I get to work with these people. And it’s all because of you.
Oh, and one of my costars would like to speak to you. Hang on…”
“Hello, darling… Oh, it’s an answerphone message? Yes, hello, Birdie Beckett. This is Benedict Cumberbatch. I hear you’re a fan, and I just want to say that the exquisite taste you display in English actors clearly does not extend to your taste in boyfriends. I mean, how many abs does this guy have, like six? Come on. You can do better. He does have a fantastic butt. However, I will tell you that my hands are significantly larger than his. Just saying.
Seriously, it’s a great honor to be working with Sir Edward McFancyFace. Bit of a diva, but I think we can all learn a lot from him—especially Hiddleston and Cavill. They had to leave right after the reading, but I’m quite sure you’ll be meeting them soon.”
(muffled in background) “No you won’t, babe!”
“Right, then. I look forward to becoming great friends with you… The name is Sherlock Holmes, and the address is 221B Baker Street… Your boyfriend wants to speak with you again.”
“Seriously? You still consider Cumberbatch to be a sex word after that nonsense? See you at lunch. Love you, bye.”
EPILOGUE TWO - Piper
February 15th
Dear Diary,
Well, it’s official. All of the Cannavale brothers are married now. It has been just over three years since the Cannavales became a part of my life, but I can no longer legally marry Eddie, LOL, because he is legally married to Birdie. I’m not even jealous of her, because they’re basically the cutest couple ever. (Insert GIF of Rachel from Friends saying, “I’m so happy and not at all jealous.”)
I also was not at all jealous when I heard about how Eddie had proposed to Birdie. Apparently, it happened the night after #Maclan’s wedding. January first. At that point, Eddie’s movie had come out and there was tons of Oscar buzz. Not for Eddie specifically—for the film in general—although he had gotten so much great press because of his performance and he had already booked two other great movie roles soon after he shot that one. Because End Zone was canceled. My friends and I were super bummed about that, and we even signed a petition to The CW to keep it on the air. But it was a good thing for Eddie, because that meant he was free to be in movies all year long, and it was also a good thing for Birdie because it meant that Eddie’s perfect Cannavale butt wasn’t up in Canada for months and months.
Anyhoo—the proposal. It was a beautiful winter’s night in New York. The stars shone bright and the moonlight reflected upon the newly fallen snow. Well, everyone knows the story of how Eddie and Birdie made the journey from friends to lovers on the train from LA to Chicago, and then Eddie missed the train from Chicago to New York. So, when they were still in New York after #Maclan’s wedding, Eddie rented out a vintage train car in the New York Transit Museum and had a private dinner served for him and Birdie there, as well as a four-piece classical music band. Because he’s a classy guy!
After dessert, the servers and the band left the two lovebirds alone, and Eddie got down on one knee before his unwitting girlfriend. He told Birdie that his only goal for that month was to become her fiancé, and the number one goal of the rest of his life was to be her husband. She covered her mouth and got all teary-eyed. She said yes, of course! And she allowed him to place the beautiful vintage princess cut diamond ring on her finger. Then she pulled out a folded-up piece of paper that she had kept tucked inside of her bra and handed it to him. Eddie unfolded the paper and saw that it was Birdie’s list of New Year’s resolutions. Number one on the list was, “Ensnare Eddie Cannavale into becoming my fiancé.”
And that just says it all, I think. They’re both different in a lot of ways, but they both want the same things for themselves and for each other. So it works!
Would you believe that Eddie’s bachelor party was super mellow—because even his cousins from Ireland and Boston have chilled out. Well, you shouldn’t believe it because JUST KIDDING! I mean, they are all pretty chill now, but they still partied pretty hard. I heard they all got on stage at a Backstreet Boys concert. Someone ran down Sunset Boulevard naked. Declan tried to adopt all of the cats at a cat café and cried when Aunt Maddie talked him out of it over the phone—because how were they supposed to get twenty cats back to New York to live in their penthouse?! Someone woke up under the Hollywood Sign. But they all made it to the wedding on time, looking camera-ready!
The wedding was perfect. One for the history books, as Birdie would probably say! I mean, it’s only the second one I’ve ever been to, but it was just as nice as Maddie and Declan’s. I even got my own invitation! I think Declan and Maddie asked Eddie to invite me so I could look after the baby when they got up to dance, but that’s okay! I love Ciara—and being around all that Hollywood actor eye candy did not suck at all! OMG LOLOL understatement of the century!!!
Oh yeah, by the way—I’m in Los Angeles!!! That’s where the wedding was because Birdie’s family is from here. I flew out here with Maddie and Declan and Ciara, and we’re staying at a hotel by the beach!
The wedding venue…drumroll please…was Union Station—that place from which they began their fated journey on the Love Train. Can you believe it??? It’s a beautiful Spanish-style building in the middle of downtown. Certain people from Eddie’s side of the family, in particular his nonna, may not have been thrilled that they did not have their ceremony in a Catholic church, but even Nonna was impressed by the location.
All of the decorations were rose-red and violet-blue with hints of pink and white. Birdie wore an elegant shimmering white gown with pretty pink beading and a bouquet of roses and violets. And the best part?! She wore glasses! She was the most beautiful nerd bride ever. I guess it was a surprise for Eddie, because when he saw her coming down the aisle, he laughed at first, but then he got all choked up and it was so cute. I took so many mental pictures of the way he looked at her, to keep in my heart-hug bank (which is the opposite of a spank bank).
Since they got married on February fourteenth, their vows were Valentines that they wrote to each other.
The final one that Eddie said was:
“Roses are red,
violets are blue,
you’re the love of my life,
and it’s about ducking time I get to marry you.”
The final one that Birdie said was:
“Roses are red,
violets are blue,
you’re my best friend and lover,
and my ducking husband now too…”
There was not a dry eye in the train station.
During the reception, there was a video projection of their friends and family who couldn’t make it to the wedding and guess what?! Benedict Cumberbatch recited Shakespeare’s Sonnet 116 aka “Let me not to the marriage of true minds…” It was pretty baller. I’ll have to ask him to do that for my wedding too LOLOLOL. Well maybe—who knows?!
&nb
sp; I guess Eddie Cannavale is just one of many crushes that I won’t end up marrying, and that’s fine. It really is! Every crush door that closes just leads you to the door that the love of your life will be waiting behind. Hopefully, the love of my life will be my best friend too—who also happens to have the world’s finest butt.
And here’s the thing… If Eddie hadn’t married Birdie and if they hadn’t invited me to their wedding, I would not have experienced the FIRST REAL KISS OF MY LIFE!!! No Spin the Bottle, no Truth or Dare, no Seven Minutes in Heaven. An actual spontaneous free will kind of amazing kiss. On Valentine’s Day, no less. It was like a dream come true. And as you know, Dear Diary, my dreams are pretty romantic, always awesome, and very BUTTASTIC!!!
But I’m going to write about that in my extra-special super-secret diary—the one that you don’t know about, Mother! That’s right. I know you still read my journals. I’m sure I’ll tell you all about it one day when we’re sipping daiquiris by a pool, celebrating the release of the blockbuster romantic comedy that I will one day write with the screenwriting software that I had to purchase for myself with babysitting money because my parents never bought it for me.
I’ll just end this by saying that yesterday was the most EPIC VALENTINE’S DAY EVER, and I’m so happy that Eddie and Birdie’s beautiful love story got woven into the most EPIC FUTURE LOVE STORY EVER TO BE WRITTEN…Mine!
THE END
More Very Holiday books are coming in 2022!!!
The One With All The Acknowledgments
To Jen Mirabelli—all my thanks and love and ALL the Friends GIFs. Thanks for helping me with basically everything, including Commageddon.
Thank you so much to Chelsea George and to Royal Reads for the very stellar beta reads and feedback! https://www.royalreads.net/
Thanks to my editor, Jenny Rarden, for being consistently great.
I will never stop thanking all of the wonderful readers, bloggers, Bookstagrammers, Facebookers and lovely authors who have been recommending A Very Bossy Christmas—ever since October 2020. The word of mouth for that book has been stunning and I’m so grateful.
It feels like the magical creatures that are Bookstagrammers were working overtime to recommend Bossy Christmas and the results were nothing short of miraculous.
I would hug each and every one of you if I could, but I haven’t showered yet today, so you’re lucky I can’t.
My love for narrators Mackenzie Cartwright and Connor Crais is real and it’s their voices in my head that make everything funnier and sexier. So thanks for not being terrible, you guys, and I can’t wait to hear the audiobook in February…
I am especially grateful to Connor Crais for being my Shakespeare consultant, and to Mackenzie for being The Official Voice of Kayley Loring’s Lady Parts. Also, thank you to Dane Anderson for inspiring the Gavin character, who quickly became a favorite!
Cheers and ta very much to Louise Brown, for being my Britspeak consultant on this one!
Thanks, thanks and more thanks to Viviana Izzo for the Audiobook Lovin’.
Special thanks to the citizens of Kayleyville, my Facebook reader group. You are the wind beneath my wings, the cat’s pajamas, and my favorite people to share pics of models, Bridgerton actors and baby animals with.
Thanks to Wildfire Marketing Solutions and Give Me Books for the promotional support.
Thanks to Benedict Cumberbatch for being such a good sport (just kidding I haven’t met him…yet).
P.S. I have never read Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace… How is it?
P.P.S. The cover model is Sergio Carvajal. He’s so sweet and he’s on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sergiocarvajal7/
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Also by Kayley Loring
All of my books are available in Kindle Unlimited!
A VERY BOSSY CHRISTMAS (Declan and Maddie’s story) - listen to Connor Crais and Mackenzie Cartwright perform the audiobook narration!
SLEEPER (Shane and Willa’s story) – listen to Teddy Hamilton and Mackenzie Cartwright perform the audiobook narration!
CHARMER (Nico and Kat) - audio is performed by Jason Clarke and Mackenzie Cartwright!
TROUBLEMAKER (Alex and Emilia)- audio is performed by Zachary Webber and Mackenzie Cartwright!
(The New York/Brooklyn standalones)
REBOUND WITH ME (available in audio)
COME BACK TO BED (available in audio)
TONIGHT YOU’RE MINE (available in audio)
THE PLUS ONES (available in audio)
THE BROOKLYN BOOK BOYFRIENDS: a collection – contains Rebound with Me, Come Back to Bed, Tonight You’re Mine and The Plus Ones, plus bonus epilogues for all four novels! You can get the audiobook bundle for one Audible credit! Narrated by Teddy Hamilton and Mackenzie Cartwright
BACK FOR MORE (available in audio)
HELLO DARLING – in audio and narrated by Shane East and Mackenzie Cartwright
SEXY NERD
EVERY INCH OF YOU
The Work Less/Play More series of standalones
A Very Friendly Valentine's Day Page 18