by Cathy Quinn
“Well,” she said defensively. “I’m just wondering. I’ve always wanted to know. Is it a biological or a medical fact? Or is it just the invention of some bored sex therapists that need subjects to write books about? And if it does exist, is it in all women, or just some? And where the heck is it?”
He was still laughing. “Don’t worry,” he finally managed to wheeze, when she’d almost forgotten the absurdity of her question and the consequent heat wave in the room, because he just looked so darned wonderful with laughter animating his face. “I’m laughing with you, not at you.”
“Never mind...” she muttered and opened the window wider. She really should get air conditioning. Maybe a few fans.
Robert sobered up. There was still a smile in his eyes, but they were no longer spurting tears of laughter. Big improvement, but it didn’t do much for the redness in her own face. “Sorry. It’s a valid biological question. You just took me by surprise. I suppose I could draw a diagram of where it’s supposed to be, as for it being in the medical textbooks, I’d have to check and get back to you.”
She gave him a suspicious look. “You’re not even going to offer to show me yourself?”
“Too easy. Give me some credit for subtlety. Do you have paper and a pen?” His grin, teasing and sheepish both at once, dug deep into her psyche and warned her to be careful. It would be all too easy to fall in love with him, and that could not happen, not unless she could be sure he could respect the decisions she had made for her life without compromising his own needs.
“Paper and pen?” he repeated, one eyebrow raised, and she realized she must have been silently staring at him for quite a while.
Almost flustered, she found her purse, lifted out her diary and tossed it to him. “There’s note paper at the back.”
Robert flipped to the back and got to work. She sat down next to him and watched him sketch all sorts of discomfiting things and just when she thought she couldn’t possibly get any more embarrassed, he started naming assorted areas, using clinical terms in his teacher’s voice. She closed her eyes and prayed for a kid or two to wake up and start screaming.
“Anyway,” he wrapped up, and she risked opening one eye. “It should be there.” He stabbed the paper with the pen. She jumped.
“Okay. Um, thank you.” She reclaimed her diary and pen and crammed both back into her purse. Denial didn’t work anymore. Her face was flaming as she searched madly for a way to close this subject. Nothing better than the subject they’d previously escaped came to mind. “I hope things go okay between Eric and Holly.”
His face darkened immediately. “Yes. I really wish I could dive down there and confront him before Holly gets there. I don’t know if it would do any good, but I’m worried about the state Holly might find him in.”
“Well, let’s do it, then. I’ll come with you. Maybe he could use a woman’s perspective.”
“Huh?”
“Tomorrow morning. We’ll drive down there and confront him. I don’t trust you alone, with all your punching talk, but together maybe we can talk sense into him. We need to go get the diapers anyway, and their house is on the way.”
“It’s only an three hour drive there and back, but I’d guess it was something like a ten hours drive to that motel Holly mentioned and back. We can’t take the kids on such a long trip.”
“You’re right.” She slumped back. “We’d have to get a babysitter. So.” She pursed her lips. “Who do we know who can baby-sit four children?”
“The National Guard? The Marines?”
She snapped her fingers. “Nora and your dad!”
Robert sighed. “You’re not serious. We’re not leaving four miniature terrors with a lovesick eighty-something couple.”
“Didn’t you pay attention during out visits? There are over twenty old people there, all in good health, all in love with the kids at first sight, and they don’t have much to do all day. There are also quite a few staff members, equally in love with the kids,” Linda countered. “The head nurse couldn’t stop fussing over them. Remember, she even offered to take them to the staff lounge for a while if we wanted peace to chat with your father and Nora. They’ll love it. It’s perfect.”
“Didn’t we already have a little talk about the word ‘perfect’ and its effect on my blood pressure?”
She kissed his cheek and rose. “I’m off to bed. Just go get George and then get some sleep. See you in the morning.”
Chapter 7
He wasn’t sure how she did it, but somehow the chief nurse agreed with a smile to change her wing into a nursery and the rest of the staff and inhabitants were equally enthusiastic. Robert unloaded the necessary baby stuff from the car in three trips, while Linda filled them in on all necessary details. Then they kissed four baby cheeks, and left the building, feeling they were missing a vital organ or four.
“Ah... do you hear that?” Linda sighed as she slid into her seat and laid her head on the headrest.
He knew exactly what she meant. Silence. “Yes. It’s wonderful. And we’ve got ten hours to enjoy it.”
She reached out and squeezed his hand. “Let’s go. Bob. They’ve got our cell phone number. We might not even get out of the city before they’re begging us to come back.”
Robert looked at her sideways as he started the car. Now that he had her to himself for a while, he really could think of better things to do than to go after his obnoxious brother. Like that shower that had been playing in his head since they’d bathed the kids. Or even just that kiss that still was evading them.
“So. Has your plan succeeded yet?” he asked.
“My plan? What plan?”
“The anti-baby plan.”
“Ah. That. Er, no. Not yet.”
“Amazing,” he muttered, feeling the effects of almost a week of sleepless nights. “As much as I love all of them, it’s almost working on me.”
She patted his knee. “It’s your own fault for not getting any sleep last night. The next nightshift is mine, and this time you won’t get away with nasty tricks like hiding the baby monitor.”
He smiled at her. “That’s very sweet of you, but this is my problem, not yours. You’re doing enough already.”
“I’m the one on an anti-baby campaign, remember? Sleepless nights are something I need to experience.”
“It’s really not that big a deal. Each of them wakes up maybe once. I can handle it.”
“The mother of your children will be one lucky woman. I can think of at least five of my friends who’d be happy to change their husbands out for someone like you.”
He laughed. “I had a baptism in fire, being alone with them for the first few days. With you to help it is comparatively easy. Actually, it’s not so bad. As long as I don’t have to give birth or breastfeed, I think I’ll be fine.”
“They’re not still being breastfed, are they?”
“Thankfully not, or we wouldn’t have had it so easy. I don’t think Holly ever had enough milk for all of them.”
Linda crossed her arms on her chest and shuddered. “They’ve got teeth. Nothing with teeth is coming near my breasts.”
A surprised chuckle escaped him. “I see. That’s an interesting rule.”
Linda groaned. “Someday, I’m going to teach me mouth to consult my brain before speaking. Please forget I ever said that.” She fidgeted for a while. “So you do want kids of your own someday?” she then asked.
He shrugged. “It’s one of those things I’ve always assumed would happen someday.”
Outside the landscape flew by, but Linda was silent. He could guess what she was thinking – whether to head off this thing between them on ground of offspring-incompatibility. He wasn’t about to let her get away with it. There was time enough to reach some sort of compromise on that issue, if it would ever come up.
She was so good with the kids and with the chimps, and so much more than he’d originally thought. They had fun together, but not only that, they fit, in some inexplicable way. In fact, he was no
t only 100% in lust; he was half way in love already.
He was pretty sure he would just need that one kiss to push him off the precipice. He groaned. From this week’s experience it didn’t look like they were ever destined to actually get that far, but a man could only hope. And pray.
And possibly even pull over and throw himself all over her while he still had her all to himself.
Linda sighed as the horizon flew past behind the grimy window. She was falling for him. Bigtime. Her master plan had been to tell men upfront, which would then result in all the men determined to have babies running away.
This one wasn’t running away, but he did want children. So, either he was only thinking short term, which she could handle, or worse, he believed he could change her mind in case they got closer. She shook her head. Better not think about this now. She did not want to push him away over some ridiculous thought about what the future might or might not bring. She’d never felt like this about any man before. There wasn’t only the attraction, but the closeness and the fun they had. Being with him, even playing house with a whole horde of babies, felt right. As if they belonged together. It was too intriguing, too precious to throw away for a flimsy reason like their genetic contribution to the future of mankind.
Her musings were interrupted as the car slowed down. Robert was turning off the road.
“Why are we stopping?”
He switched of the ignition and turned towards her, putting his arm over the seat. His fingers tangled in her hair once more and he pulled her gently towards him until the seatbelt stopped her. “I need to kiss you. Right now. I need it badly.”
“Oh, wow,” she whispered. “Badly?”
He nodded, looking serious, but very very determined.
Smiling, she touched his cheek, then undid her seatbelt so she could lean all the way across and return that nose kiss. She was about to take a risk, but she had a feeling it might be worth it. “I like you, Bob. Do you still think I’m nothing but trouble?”
Thin stripes of red colored Robert’s cheekbones, telling her he was just as deeply affected as she was. His smile was.... sweet. That was the word for it.
“Robert. And you are trouble, Blondie. But I like you anyway.”
That was-kind of-the most romantic thing she’d ever heard.
The harsh knock on the window had them jumping apart. Glancing over Robert’s shoulder Linda saw a uniform just outside the window, and blinking lights beyond.
“It’s the police,” she groaned. “We don’t get a break, do we?”
“I can’t say I’m surprised,” Robert muttered as he rolled down his window.
“Everything okay here?” the officer asked, peering into the car.
“Yes. We’re fine. Just has to pull over for a minute because my friend got carsick. She might be coming down with something.”
Linda tried for a sickly smile and hoped that her red cheeks would be attributed to a fever instead of the hormones of a severely kiss-deprived woman.
“Do you suppose it’s a conspiracy?” Robert asked ten minutes later, when they were back on the road.
“I can’t imagine what else it could be,” she grumbled. “When the kids are back with their parents, let’s lock ourselves away somewhere, okay?”
“I’ll hold you to that.” He peered into the rearview mirror “I think we’ve lost the police car.”
Linda turned around and scanned the highway. “Nope. He’s still there.”
“We’re probably not off the hook until we cross the state line.”
“Are you sure necking on the highway isn’t a federal offense?”
“We didn’t even get to do any necking,” he protested. “I’d gladly have served time if I’d gotten to commit the crime.”
She giggled again. “You’re weird, Bob.”
“No, I’m a pretty normal guy. Just desperate.”
She answered his grin with one of her own.
“So, do you suppose we have any chance at fixing this thing with your brother and his wife?”
Robert shrugged. “I don’t know. Probably not, if he’s really cheating on her.”
“Cheating or not, I can't believe he just walked out on his wife like that. No warning or anything, and leaving her with all this bunch. It's hard enough for two to handle them, let alone one.”
He nodded. “He's always been somewhat irresponsible. And actually, so is Holly. They tend to do things without thinking of the consequences to other people. I think they’ve settled down a bit after the children came along, but they both have a reckless streak. But they are good parents to the kids.”
“Your brother is a good father?”
He nodded. “It's very unlike him to do this.”
There was silence for a while. “Your father seems quite a character,” Linda then remarked.
Robert chuckled. “That he is. I can appreciate him now, but he was not the most brilliant father figure when we were growing up.”
“Did he raise you alone?”
“Hell, no. He would never have done that. After mom died, his sister took us in. Me and Eric. She wasn’t too happy about it, but putting us in foster care would have compromised the family name.” Robert shrugged. “Anyway, dad dropped by twice a year or so, filled our pockets with money and left.”
“I’m sorry. Must have been tough.”
“I was the oldest, and I should have been a role model for my brother, but a lot of good I did him. To run out on his wife and four children shows he is the same irresponsible coward as our father used to be.”
There was old bitterness in his voice, along with self-recrimination. Linda opened her mouth to respond, but noticed they missed their exit.
“Weren’t we supposed to turn here?”
“It’s better to take the detour for the diapers now. It will be dark on our way back.”
Before long they were driving through a quiet residential neighborhood. Then suddenly Robert slammed his foot on the break. Linda grabbed the dashboard to steady herself. “What’s wrong?”
Robert pointed to a small house to their right.
“That’s Eric’s car.”
“Oh? So he’s back? That’s great.”
They were at the door when a sound drifted down from above. Laughter. They looked at each other. A woman’s laughter.
“Holly?” Linda offered. Robert shook his head. “She was far north when she called last night, and heading to New Hampshire.” His voice was trembling with anger. “She couldn’t have made it back already. I can’t believe he would bring his mistress here, knowing his wife is out searching for him.”
“Maybe he wants to be found,” Linda guessed.
“Oh, he will be,” Robert said grimly. “Just not by Holly. Not if I can help it.” He unlocked the door with the spare key, grabbed the door handle and yanked the door open.
He didn't care in what kind of state he would find his brother and his mistress, all he was thinking was teaching Eric a lesson. All his life he had been looking out for Eric, dragging him out of scrapes and defending his actions. He’d had enough. Eric had made his own bed, and if he was going to cheat on his wife in it, he’d take the consequences.
“Wait!” Linda caught up with him at the bedroom door. “Shouldn’t you knock?”
“I should. But I’m not going to.” He threw the door open.
Inside, half-covered by red sheets, was his brother, laughing. Beside him, a woman's bare legs were sticking out from beneath the sheets, and her blonde curls were at his neck.
“What the hell are you doing?” Robert thundered, and with satisfaction watched his brother bolt upright, panic written all over his face..
“It’s not what you’re thinking, Bobby.”
“Eric, even you can come up with a better line than that. How could you do this? In your children’s home, in your bed, while you’re wife is traveling the country alone looking for you? You’re despicable.”
Beside him, the woman clutched the covers to her ches
t and glanced his way, eyes wide open with shock. Robert took a step back, bumping into Linda.
“Holly?” he asked in disbelief. The couple on the bed looked at one another. The guilty look on both their faces did not evaporate and an all too clear picture began to form of the situation.
Robert crossed his arms on his chest and waited for them to explain. Okay, so he had walked in on his brother and sister-in-law naked in their own bed. He still wasn’t backing out until they confessed to the fairytale they’d created.
Beside him, Linda pulled on his arm after long minutes of silence from all parties. “What do you mean, Holly? You mean he’s having an affair with his own wife?”
Eric drew in an indignant breath. “You thought I was having an affair?” He put his arm around his wife and looked wounded. “I would never cheat on Holly. Never. I can’t believe you would accuse me of such a thing. You owe us both an apology.”
“I owe you an apology?” Even hardened Eric winced at the sarcasm of big brother’s voice. “Your wife dumped your four children on my doorstep to go chasing after you, who reportedly had run out on them because you “needed space”. It was not really a stretch to imagine you might be involved with another woman.”
Eric put on his familiar expression. The one that said he was sorry and wouldn’t do it again. Robert was unmoved. He’d seen that one hundreds of times before. “Bobby, you couldn’t understand how desperate we were. We’ve been stuck in that house with the kids forever. We really needed some one-on-one time. You’d understand if you were in love. You’d understand if, every time you tried to kiss the woman you love, a dirty diaper comes between you, someone needed you to wipe their nose or threw oatmeal in your face.”
Behind him, he heard Linda gulp as she backed out of sight. The reason wasn’t lost on him.
“We love our kids,” Eric added. “Of course we adore them. We miss them, and Holly can’t even stop talking about them. But we were desperate to be together, just the two of us for a couple of days.”
“I don’t mind looking after the kids, Eric. That’s not the point here. Why didn’t you ask me to look after them? I could have come here and you could have gone away for a weekend.”