“It’s not your fault,” she stated softly
I just sat in stony silence. How dare she? How dare she come in here and ply me with cookies and then say something like that? Of course, it's my fault. I stood by and did nothing.
“It’s not your fault,” she repeated more firmly. “Serena was told not to go into the portal.
Julia warned her of her fate, but she did it regardless."
I jumped out of bed and wobbled for a second from my lack of inactivity over the past few days. I threw the covers back violently before stomping around to the bathroom.
“Don’t you walk away from me." she yelled. “It’s not your fault."
"Yes it is,” I screamed. “I could have saved her. I should have dusted that prick with my fire; instead I stood by and let her die."
“It’s not your fault."
“Stop fucking saying that,” I continued. “It is too."
“No,” Winifred said. “It’s not your fault. It's not Serena’s fault. It's not Julia’s fault. It was the Rau’s fault."
"But I could have…"
“Could have what?" she interrupted. “Shot at him with your fire? They were grappling all around the room; you would have most likely hit both of them, there's nothing you could do."
“There was,” I said “There was a moment when I dropped my scent…"
“A moment that took all of a split second,” she finished. “It’s not your fault sweetheart."
I sat back down on the bed and rubbed my face with my hands. Tears threaten to spill from my eyes again, but I pushed them back when I realized something.
“Did you just call me sweetheart and you brought me cookies too?"
Winifred just raised her eyebrow at me and walked over and sat down beside me. “What in the world you are blabbering about now?"
"Did they start playing hockey games in Hell as well?" I asked confused. “Jesus, how long was I asleep?"
“Did Julia know? Did she realize what was going to happen?" I asked quietly
“Julia had two different visions. One of Serena dying and one of you taking care of the situation all by yourself." she answered
“Then why didn’t she tell her this? Reassure her that I could handle it?"
“Didn’t you read the letter she wrote in the journal to Serena?" Winifred asked quizzically.
“No." I answered. “I assumed they were private."
All except for the one to Matthias I added silently
“Willa,” she said. “Don’t ever lose sight of who the real enemy is in this world."
“Believe me, I never will." I said.
“Kathleen is having a memorial service tomorrow morning,” she said. “It would mean a great deal to her if you would come."
“Of course,” I replied. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world."
“I’ll ask Riah to come and get you at nine o’clock?" she asked as stood up and looked down at me.
“No, I’ll drive myself. Where is it?"
“It will be held at the chapel on the castle grounds,” she answered. “Are you going to be ok? I can stay longer. We can play a round of cards?"
“I’m good. Thanks though, for everything, especially the cookies." I said with a small smile.
Winifred looked at me for a moment before she grabbed my hand and squeezed it somewhat awkwardly. Our relationship had shifted this morning. We still had a long way to go, but we were finally on the road to moving past our first few meetings and learning to accept one another.
“Don’t you have somewhere to be?" I asked. “Some poor soul you need to berate or boss around?"
“I’m sure I can scrounge up someone to be rude too,” she smiled
“Your father is still always going to be my favorite though." she said as she swept out of the room.
Life does go on, I said to myself, before heading into the shower.
The next day was sunny and cold. I wished it would rain and be cloudy and gray so the weather could match my mood. I puttered around the house first thing in the morning, trying to distract myself from what was to come. I was almost relieved to receive a reply to my email I sent to Jon and Eric last week.
After plowing through the ‘Oh My God’s’, I finally got my answer. They were extremely excited to buy the bakery from me for way below the market value.
Even though, it broke my heart to sell Yummy Yuma, it's the right thing to do. I was just happy it was going to be turned over to great people. I knew they would take care of what I had built and enjoy it.
I did tell them to make sure they enjoy working with Susannah. Jon replied with a picture of a woman dressed up as Marie Antoinette giving the camera the middle finger.
I made it my screen saver.
Finally, I had no choice but to get ready if I wanted to make it on time. I choose a very simple outfit of charcoal gray slacks and a black wrap sweater to wear for the day. I added a little more makeup than I normally use because my face looked so pale and washed out. I grabbed my black pea coat, bundled up and was just heading out the door when a large brown and white head nudged my thigh.
“You can’t go with me,” I said to Cupcake, who had glued himself to my side since I got home that night.
Cupcake whimpered and after much eye rolling and discussion I relented. I walked out of the house and stopped dead when I reached the driveway. There sat my kick ass golf cart.
Memories of Christmas Eve washed over me but instead of wallowing in grief, I smiled to myself and hopped in with my faithful companion
.
I drove up to the castle with my stomach turning in big circles and my throat starting to tighten up with dread. This would be the first time I saw Kathleen since that night and the last time I would see Serena again before she was to be laid to rest. I had reconciled with the fact that what happened was not my fault, but I suppose, I would always feel guilt and regret.
The small chapel stood on a hill to the back of the castle and overlooked the sea. The yellow and gray stone walls glowed warmly in the sun, and the stain glass windows that lined either side shone brilliantly from the rays that shot through them.
I parked my golf cart around the side and got out telling Cupcake, very firmly, to stay. Making my way to the front, I saw all the Guardians were lined up around the front door and down the walkway. They formed a veritable wall around those that walked by them.
All except for four Guardians, Mathias, Frank, Riah and Leona, held the shiny brown casket with Serena's body near the entrance. They waited in a stoic silence while the guests all went in before they would follow.
I caught Mathias’s attention the moment I stepped around the side but I averted my eyes quickly against his piercing stare. Today was not about Mathias and me. Although I knew we had a lot of things to talk about, now was not the time to go into all of that. Today was about honoring our fallen Guardian and friend.
The ceremony was short but moving. After the sermon from the Priest, Winifred got up and delivered a lovely memorial, followed by an equally emotional one from Julia. In the end, we all filtered out and made our way to the cemetery located over a small hill on the side of the church.
The sight that greeted us mourners took our breath away. Several dozen island residents had all come out to pay their respects to Serena and lined up and down the hillside holding battery operated candlesticks. The little lights should have been obscured by the bright sunshine but with so many of them glowing brightly their small brilliance was breathtakingly beautiful.
I looked at the islanders and thought how amazing their response was to a Guardian’s death. They were respectful of a being that their ancestors may have accepted but always somewhat feared. That’s when I realized that Serena had not been looked at as just a Guardian but also as an islander as well.
The graveside emptied out an hour later. Most islanders went back to their homes, while some went on to the castle for the reception that my grandmother had decided to host. I had said my final goodbyes and was exchanging pleasantr
ies with Frank and Leona when I saw that Jeremiah stood alone by the grave.
I excused myself and went over to talk to him. Even though now was probably not the time, I had a question that I had to ask him regarding Serena. I couldn’t help but remember when the three of us had met in the courtyard after my three day mental health vacay. The silent exchange, the haunted look in Serena’s eyes that she tried to hide, and Jeremiah’s curt attitude, little things that been traded between them that had made me confused.
“Hey Jeremiah,” I greeted him apprehensively.
“Hello Willa,” he replied, “Beautiful service."
“Yes it was,” I agreed. “I was blown away by all the people that came out to the graveside, holding the candles. It was so touching."
“The islanders never fail to amaze me and their capacity to love and accept everyone. It’s quite marvelous."
“Jeremiah?" I asked tentatively.
“Yes?" he asked absently
“Did you love her?" I finally asked after a moment of hesitation.
“Who? Serena?" he asked before answering. “Of course, I cared about her very much. I had known her since I was a kid."
“But did you love her? As in I never want to live without you, kind of love?"
Jeremiah seemed so taken aback that I rushed on with what I wanted to say. “I saw you both that day, you know in the courtyard? You both acted...weird towards each other. I also saw it a few more times, but I never wanted to ask her or you about it."
He took a deep breath and looked off into the distance before finally speaking. “Serena and I had a great relationship all the way up to a few weeks after my mother had been taken. That’s when she found me and the person she was in love with together."
My mouth opened slightly, and I couldn’t find my voice. Luckily Jeremiah kept talking. “I was distraught over my mother’s kidnapping and all I can remember is thinking that life’s too short. I didn’t want to waste another minute, another second, worrying about what was right or wrong, what is forbidden, what is acceptable. None of that mattered."
He gave a short laugh. “So I finally tell the person who I had been in love with for a very long time what my feelings were for them and much to my surprise they felt the same way. Before I knew it, we got swept up at the moment."
He paused for a moment. “Then Serena walked in and at first I thought she was in shock because I was locked in an embrace with a vampire. I realized later it's because she was in love with Veronica as well."
“Veronica?" I asked dumbfounded. “Mathias’s secretary?"
He nodded in silence, allowing me to digest his words before he began talking again. “I never knew. I never once suspected it. Veronica had an inkling, but I was shocked."
“I didn’t know either. She never said anything. When I saw your rather awkward exchange, I thought that maybe it had to do with something between the two of you." I said
“Makes no difference now; Veronica was so horrified to be discovered by another colleague that she pretty much pushed me away,” he said almost matter of fact.
“I’m sorry Jeremiah." I said
"Me too,” he smiled sadly. “Veronica started coming into the library about four years ago. She and I both share a love of Greek mythology. We started talking and soon those little chats turned into long, in depth conversations. I found myself enchanted by her."
“When Serena found us, my first thought was that her reaction was due to the fact I am a Clan Prince and Veronica is a Guardian. Then I started to think that maybe she had feelings for me, and I missed it. It wasn’t until her and Veronica started speaking that I clued in on the situation." he said.
“Veronica is so sensitive,” he said. "She was in of turmoil because Serena had feelings for her, feelings she didn't return. I think some of the harsh words Serena said to her began to wear on her. So she told me, in no uncertain terms, that what happened had been a mistake and that the only thing that would come of our relationship would probably lead to disaster and heartbreak.”
“So what are you going to do?" I asked “I mean; you can’t just walk away, you can’t give up on her. If you love someone, you fight for them."
"I will never give up on her but there’s a fine line between fighting for love and being a stalker. The best thing I can do is be there waiting for her when she is ready. If it takes one day or one hundred years, I will never give up hope that she and I will be together."
“What about the whole Vampire, Gypsy, thing, the ‘don’t get intimate with a Guardian’ rule?"
"Where is that rule written?" he chuckled. “Yes, it's frowned upon for a clan member to get involved with a Guardian but the times are changing. You saw the people that came out for Serena today. They didn’t come just because a Guardian died. They came because someone who they have come to like and trust died."
“I know that certain people, including our grandmother, may have a hard time with the idea. But in general I don’t think anyone cares about that anymore. The Guardians have proven their loyalty over and over again. How can we look at them with any inferiority? They’re the same as you and I, only much faster, stronger and have a different diet,” he continued
“I agree, but it seems, for so many years, they were treated differently because of their curse. They probably feel inferior because of that to begin with,” I said. “I think the Guardians probably have more social issues to deal with than us."
“Exactly,” he agreed. "For my sake, I hope that they get over it sooner rather than later."
I thought about what Jeremiah had said, and of course, that led me to Mathias. Although, in his case, I was pretty sure, there were many other contributing factors to his issues, starting with his father from hell.
“What do you say we go and have a drink?" he asked, breaking into my thoughts
"Sounds good, although I have to warn you, I have a 130 pound puppy that is probably going to want to tag along."
Jeremiah put his arm through mine, and we started walking away from the grave.
“Well it’s a good thing I have plenty of whiskey." he smiled
We walked into the large receiving room on the second floor and were greeted by family, friends and Guardians alike. All were in a quiet, reflective mood that is until Cupcake bounded in the room, tongue hanging out and tail swishing. My grandmother was very displeased when his massive bulk bumped into a small table and sent a vase flying to the floor, shattering instantly.
“Whoops,” I said guiltily. “I hope that wasn’t old...or valuable."
“Yes,” Winifred replied exasperated. “It was very old and extremely valuable."
“He can’t help it, he’s just a baby. A 130 pound baby but nonetheless…" my voice trailed off uncertain
“Nonetheless?" she yelled. “What that dog needs is to learn some manners."
“He’s a little kitten trapped in a big dog’s body. It’s not his fault." I said as I leaned down and petted his silky fur.
"Willa,” Gussie said my name as she came over and drew me into a hug. “I know we were never introduced but I just want to say thank you for everything that you did. Some people might have discounted Julia’s journal as rubbish, but you didn’t, and I for one am horribly grateful."
“How are you?" I asked. Her ash blonde hair looked like it had been cut and colored back into the same stylish shoulder length bob that I saw in the picture from Julia’s room. Her face still looked washed out from her time spent underground but there was a definite spark back in her eyes.
“Better than I have been that’s for sure, Cuddy has been spoiling me horribly since I’ve come home. It will take some time but I am determined to embrace all that life has to offer now. Having my sister home with me is the best gift imaginable." she answered
I smiled in response but before I could continue chatting, Julia and Cuddy came over to us.
“Willa,” Julia said as we stared at each other. It was odd, I felt like we had known each other our whole lives. She had obv
iously seen me in her visions, but I had only read her journal and met her briefly, once, in the heart of our rescue mission.
“Julia,” I replied. I was not an overly emotional person, I preferred to make jokes and brush things off but my time here on the island had changed all that. I suppose it’s because I never until recently had to deal with any major upheaval in my life. Now I was crying at the drop of a hat and opening my arms to receive bear hugs from strangers.
We held each other for a moment before pulling away. I looked into her eyes and realized that everything we had done was worth it. I’m sure even Serena would’ve agreed that bringing them home, by any means, was the right thing to do.
The Skye Trilogy: Isle of Skye, Isle of Night, and Isle of Dawn. * Bonus: Scrumptious Skye Confections Cookbook* Page 31