At Peace

by Kristen Ashley

  She’d mentioned Dennis Lowe, the serial killer that made Feb and Colt’s life a living hell and that was when I knew who Susie Shepherd was. I’d read about her in the articles about that whole mess. At the end, Dennis Lowe had held her hostage and shot her.

  This shocked me. Something like that happened to me, I would likely not be wandering strip malls, randomly picking fights with my ex-lover’s girlfriends. Hell, I’d never do that.

  That was just me though. Maybe she was experiencing post-traumatic stress or something.

  “Josie –” I started.

  “You the one toilet papered Tina’s yard?” Susie, eyes to Josie, asked over me.

  “Nope but I’ll give you ten guesses as to who did it and I’ll bet you still won’t figure it out ‘cause there’s probably a hundred women in this town who’d do it,” Josie answered. “Both of you tryin’ to cozy up to our men, talkin’ shit about what we do and wear, makin’ trouble,” Josie said. “You know, Susie, anyone shot me because I was a bitch, I’d learn my lesson. Maybe you should take some of your Daddy’s money, go somewhere quiet and reflect. For, I don’t know, say,” she paused then finished, “a hundred years?”

  Susie paled and whispered over the wind, “I can’t believe you’d say that to me.”

  “And I can’t believe you’d get in Violet’s face when her brother was murdered three weeks ago!” Josie snapped. “Let me set things straight for you, Susie. Your Daddy’s money didn’t give you carte blanche to traipse around town bein’ like you are and you can’t trade on the tragedy of what happened with Denny Lowe to be like you are. We all know you sold Colt and Feb’s story to that reporter. We didn’t think much of you before, now we don’t think anything at all.”

  “Josie –” Chip started, Josie jerked her head to look at her husband and lifted a hand.

  “I’m done,” she stated, turned to me, switched topics and turned off her attitude so quickly I wasn’t keeping up. “You two come over for dinner. Maybe I’ll get Colt and Feb to come over too. I’ll make my pot roast. That’s a winter dish but my pot roast kicks ass. I’ll call,” she offered this invitation again like she wasn’t standing in the pouring rain and like she hadn’t just laid it out for Susie Shepherd in an extremely brutal way.

  She came up to me and gave me a cheek kiss even though Joe still had me in his arms and I didn’t resist and cheek-kissed her back mostly because I was a little scared of her. Then she moved away, smiled at Joe and trotted over to her husband while I could do nothing but stare.

  “Sorry, Cal,” Chip muttered.

  “Nothin’ to be sorry for,” Joe replied and since his arms had loosened, I pulled a bit away and looked up at him to see he was looking at Susie.

  “Later, Vi,” Chip called.

  “Bye Chip,” I said and Chip and Josie moved away.

  “You done or is Vi gonna have to put up with your shit every time she sees you?” Joe asked and I looked to see he was speaking to Susie.

  “You gonna threaten me like you did Tina?” Susie sneered and I stared again since I couldn’t believe after that scene that she still had a sneer left in her.

  “Nope, just not gonna pull her off you next time,” Joe replied.

  “Whatever,” Susie muttered and started to turn away.

  “Why?” Joe asked and Susie stopped.

  “What?” she asked back.

  “Why are you such a fuckin’ bitch? Honest to God, I don’t get it. You have everything and you always had.”

  Susie’s face twisted briefly, a flash of pain then gone.

  Then she snapped, “Not everything, Cal. Didn’t have a Mom.”

  I almost felt sorry for her before Cal replied, “No excuse, woman, I didn’t either.”

  They locked eyes and I was acutely aware that I was enduring their staring contest while standing in the wind and rain with a possible tornado approaching.

  “Joe,” I whispered and Joe’s arms tensed around me.

  “Learn from today, Susie,” Joe advised.

  She rolled her eyes, flicked out a hand and repeated, “Whatever.”

  “She won’t learn from today,” Joe muttered, let me go, took my hand and turned us toward the Mustang.

  I noticed Vinnie and Gary’s cars were gone. We’d had to take three to fit everyone in what with Dad coming along, we were one over. This turned into a good thing as they had plenty of room to get everyone in and they’d all disappeared.

  Joe moved me to the passenger side, bleeping the locks as he went.

  He had the door open and I was about to fold in when we heard Susie call.

  “Cal!”

  We both looked at her.

  “Don’t piss me off, Susie,” Joe warned.

  She pulled her wet hair from her face and held it at the back of her head. Her eyes moved to me then back to Joe.

  “I can make a man happy,” she announced.

  “Seriously?” I whispered, my body getting tense and Joe put pressure on my back to push me in the car.

  “I don’t mean you!” she shouted and her head jerked to the side and back to the front swiftly, reflexively, making her look like she’d suffered an invisible blow and something about that made me get even tenser but not with anger, with surprising compassion.

  She was struggling with something and whatever it was, it was big.

  “Why can’t I –” she started but Joe interrupted her.

  “Jesus Christ, it’s rainin’, Susie. What the fuck?” Joe asked.

  “Joe, listen to her,” I whispered urgently, my eyes glued to Susie.

  But at Joe’s impatience she’d lost it. Her face closed down and she turned away.

  “Forget it,” she shouted over the wind. Lifting a hand and dropping it in a weirdly defeated way, she jogged away, her ruined-sandaled feet making splashes in the puddles as she ran until she was under the awning that came out over most of the sidewalk in front of the strip mall and then she kept running until I lost sight of her because Joe pressed me into the car.

  He slammed the door behind me, jogged around the hood as I wiped wet off my face ineffectually since my hands were just as wet and he folded in beside me.

  “We’re goin’ to Florida, buddy, first fuckin’ chance we get,” Joe declared the minute he slammed his door. He hadn’t even put the key in the ignition and we were both dripping rainwater into the seats and carpet.

  “Joe –”

  He turned to me and cut me off. “Fair warnin’, there’s nothin’ there. Just the house and the beach, a coupla houses either side. Nothin’ to do but fish, cook, sleep, eat, fuck and read.”

  “Can the girls come?” I asked and watched his face darken to a scowl.

  “You ask shit like that again, I’ll turn you over my knee.”

  I felt my stomach flutter. He’d turned me over his knee the night before, part of him being creative, and I’d liked it.

  I smiled, leaned into him and whispered, “Joe, not sure that’s a deterrent.”

  His eyes dropped to my mouth and he didn’t answer though his lips twitched.

  “Still think the day couldn’t go any better?” I asked and his eyes came back to mine.

  “Your mother-in-law make good sangria?” he asked back.

  “The best,” I whispered.

  “Then let’s get the fuck home,” he growled.

  I laughed so hard, I had to close my eyes.

  This meant I missed the first part of Joe coming in to kiss me.

  But I didn’t miss the rest.

  * * * * *

  “Therefore,” I finished as the girls sat at their stools in front of me, “getting physical is never the way to go.”

  I was giving them the hardest lecture in a parent’s arsenal. The lecture where you try to teach them not to do something you yourself had done.

  These lectures, by the way, never worked.

  Kate and Keira’s eyes went over my shoulder. Then they both fought smiles.

  I was standing at the kitchen counter
in front of them and I turned around to see Joe behind me, his hips leaned against the back counter, his arms crossed on his chest, his feet crossed at the ankles, his head bent and he was looking at his boots.

  “Joe?” I called, his head came up and I saw he was biting his lip and he was doing this in a clear effort not to laugh. “Joe!” I snapped.

  It was relatively late. We’d come home, changed clothes, dried off and I’d done needed repair work on my hair and makeup. We’d had sangria. We’d had steaks Joe braved the storm to cook on the grill and loaded baked potatoes. And we’d had chocolate cream pie (Joe had two slices, partly because he was being nice, mostly because it was the bomb).

  The tornado warning turned to a tornado watch and then the storm became rain.

  Everyone was gone. All of them, even Dad, were staying at the hotel by the highway overnight and were coming over for pancakes tomorrow morning. Everyone had avoided discussion of me jumping a blonde woman on the sidewalk for no apparent reason for all they knew. Everyone that was except Uncle Vinnie who every once in awhile when he looked at me would snicker and twice he out-and-out laughed.

  Now it was just us, I needed to address the issue with my girls and I didn’t need Joe mucking up the works.

  “This isn’t funny,” I hissed at Joe.

  “Baby –”

  “It isn’t!”

  “Vi –”

  “Stop laughing!” I demanded because he wasn’t laughing but he was smiling big and I knew, inside, he was laughing. “This is serious!”

  “Buddy,” Joe’s voice sounded strangled, “fuck me, baby, but you took her down.” He uncrossed his arms, lifted a palm ceiling up and smacked his other hand down on it making a huge clapping noise before the heels of his hands went to the counter and he burst out laughing.

  So did my girls.

  “Joe –”

  “In the rain,” Joe choked out.

  “Joe!”

  “Both of you wet,” Joe continued.

  “Joe!”

  “You coulda sold tickets to that shit,” Joe went on.

  “Joe!” I shouted.

  “Word gets around, honey, gonna have to beat the men back,” Joe finished.

  I glared at him and then I swung my glare to the girls who were both giggling their asses off. Keira had her elbows to the counter, her face in her hands. Kate had collapsed onto her bent arm on the counter.

  “I’m glad you all think this is so funny!” I snapped and then moved to flounce out but I was caught at the waist and pulled into Joe’s arms. My head jerked back and I demanded, “Let me go, Joe.”

  “Baby –”

  “Let… me… go!”

  One of Joe’s hands curled around the side of my neck and his grinning face got in mine.

  “Vi, honey, shit happens, you gotta laugh. You can’t laugh, you’re fucked.”

  “You don’t know what she said,” I whispered, hoping the girls were still giggling so hard they couldn’t hear.

  “I heard enough to know she deserved a busted lip and then some and any woman talks to Kate or Keira like that, I hope they got enough attitude to do the same fuckin’ thing.”

  My body got tight and I informed him, “Girls don’t do that.”

  “Maybe they should. Tina and Susie had that lesson taught to them a long time ago, maybe they wouldn’t be such bitches,” Joe replied.

  This, I had to admit, was a point to ponder.

  “Okay, I don’t want my girls doin’ that,” I amended my statement.

  “You’re tellin’ me, some woman comes up to them and treats them to what Susie did to you, you want them to walk away?”

  “Yes,” I kind of lied.

  “What’d Susie do to you?” Keira asked from behind me and I turned in Joe’s arm but didn’t move away because his arm was now around my belly and it tightened, pulling my back into his front.

  “It doesn’t matter. I was hungry and emotional but I still shouldn’t have acted that way,” I told Keira. “The better woman turns the other cheek.”

  “Then she gets the upper hand,” Joe put in, I got tense and twisted my neck to look up at him as he kept talking. “Maybe wrestling with them on the sidewalk in the rain isn’t the way to go but don’t let anyone treat you like shit. No woman and especially no man. Anyone talks trash to you, you walk away. It follows you, you deal with it. You wanna know how, no matter where you are, you call me and I’ll tell you how.”

  “Okay, lecture over,” I announced before Joe got on a roll.

  “Thanks, Joe,” Keira said and I sighed because I had a feeling everything I’d said to her during my ten minute lecture about how physical violence was never the way was totally forgotten but Joe’s last words about getting the upper hand were etched into her brain.

  “Yeah, Joe, thanks,” Kate said and added, “And thanks Mawdy, we’ll start with turnin’ the other cheek.”

  “Great, start with that. Makes me feel better,” I muttered.

  Kate smiled at me then said, “I’m gonna listen to music and put my new CDs on my MP3. Is that cool?”

  “Sure, baby,” I answered.

  “I’m goin’ to my room to get on Messenger and tell all my friends my Mom got in a catfight at the strip mall today. Is that cool?” Keira asked, Joe chuckled, Kate giggled and I looked at the ceiling.

  Then I looked back at my daughter. “Laptop confiscated, you do that.”

  “Right,” she muttered and grinned, “then I’ll put my new CDs on my MP3 player.”

  “Good call,” I told her.

  They moved off to their rooms and Joe’s mouth moved to my neck where he kissed me then said in my ear, “You know, even if Keira doesn’t share, that shit’s gonna get around. Josie Judd’s got a big mouth.”

  I sighed again then turned back to face him. I put my hands on his chest and leaned in deep.

  “I know.”

  He grinned. “You’re gonna be a local hero, buddy. Susie isn’t real popular.”

  I bit my lip, lifted a hand to fiddle with the collar of his tee and watched my fingers doing this.

  “Joe,” I called and stopped speaking.

  “Vi, you’re pressed up against me, baby.”

  I looked up at him. “What happened to Susie’s Mom? Do you know?”

  Joe’s head tilted slightly to the side and he answered, “More ‘burg lore. Drunk driving accident.”

  “Oh,” I whispered, thinking that was awful.

  “The person drivin’ drunk was her Dad.”

  I felt my eyes get huge and I repeated, “Oh.”

  “He walked away without a scratch. She broke her neck.”

  “My God,” I breathed.

  “Spent the rest of his life makin’ it up to Susie by spoilin’ her rotten,” Joe continued.

  This explained a lot and it also made me feel extremely guilty for busting her lip.

  “Get that shit outta your head, buddy. It sucks that happened. But it doesn’t excuse bein’ a bitch,” he said.

  He was right, it didn’t. Or at least not that much of a bitch.

  “Life’s pretty fucked up for everyone, isn’t it?” I asked.

  “Pretty much,” Joe answered.

  “You think,” I pressed my lips together then went on, “the girls… Sam, Tim, what happened today?”

  Joe’s brows went up. “You think they’ll turn into bitches?”

  I shook my head. “I just worry that all of this –”

  Joe cut me off. “Look at you.”

  I blinked and asked, “What?”

  He didn’t repeat himself. He gave me a squeeze and said, “Look at me.”

  “Joe, I’m not following.”

  “You lost your husband and your brother and you got some asshole fuckin’ with your head and you keep on keepin’ on. My wife killed my kid and my Dad died and the last thing he knew in this life was that shit went down. It took me awhile but now I’m here. You think Katy and Keirry won’t make it through?”

  “But �
�”

  “Susie’s weak because her Daddy was weak. That’s what he demonstrated when he got behind the wheel of a car smashed. That’s what he taught her then and kept teachin’ her. With what I’ve seen of your Dad and Mom, got no idea where you learned yours from but I got mine from Vinnie and Theresa. Bonnie didn’t have a moral compass and didn’t pay attention when I tried to give her one. When Nicky came into this world she should have automatically found one and she still didn’t. Weak.” His arms gave me a squeeze and his face dipped to mine. “Your girls have one, buddy, one they’ll never lose. They aren’t weak, never will be. You got nothin’ to worry about.”

  “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger,” I whispered the words Feb said to me days ago.

  “Yeah,” Joe whispered back, “at least for some of us.”

  Suddenly I smiled and I felt something light and golden bubble up in me. Something I used to feel a lot, almost every day. Something I hadn’t felt in nearly two years.

  “Shit, Joe,” I was still whispering, “I got in a catfight today on the sidewalk at a strip mall.”

  Joe smiled back. “Yeah, honey, you did.” I felt my body start shaking and Joe’s smile got bigger. “In the rain,” he reminded me.

  “In the rain,” I repeated on a suppressed giggle.

  “In a skirt,” he went on and my giggle erupted. “That might be my favorite part, outside you bein’ wet,” he continued and my giggles took control and I collapsed into him, my cheek to his chest, my arms tight around his waist and I laughed out loud.

  When I got control of my mirth and was back to quiet giggles, I moved my head so my forehead was pressed against Joe’s chest but I didn’t release my arms.

  “Worth the wait,” Joe muttered and my head tipped back.

  “What?”

  “Every bit of it. Every day, every week, every year, every fuckin’ second, buddy,” he kept muttering, his eyes intense, his face serious and my breath caught, “this. All of it. Worth the wait.”

  “Joe,” I whispered.