“Terrible,” she replied, “but I’m much better now that you are back.”
It was said with such honesty. He smiled. “Would you care to walk with me?” he asked.
“I would be delighted to,” she replied softly.
“Good.” He turned to Lord Tananguard and Connor. “Marcus, Connor. Do you mind if I bypass your company and take Lady Allana for a walk?”
“Of course not, but when you return, I would like to meet with you if you don’t mind,” Lord Tananguard said to Declan.
Declan nodded in reply. He turned back to Allana and offered her his arm. “Shall we?” he asked.
It was a cloudy day outside with a small breeze that teased at the stray strands of Allana’s hair. Declan couldn’t help but watch her. She truly was beautiful. They walked in silence along the long driveway before turning onto the grass and heading toward the gardens.
“How was your trip?” Allana asked, breaking the silence.
“Long and tedious,” he said with a smile. “I am definitely glad to be back.”
She laughed lightly. “And why is that?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” he asked, looking directly at her, no smile or teasing in his eyes, just a look which said she was the reason he was glad to be back.
Allana blushed deeply and looked away, but she seemed more pleased by his frankness than embarrassed. Hope overshadowed his doubt.
Silence spread thick. Declan yearned to hold her, but he dared not act on his desires.
He cleared his throat. “How have you really been, Allana?” he asked seriously, trying to focus his attention on something—anything—besides his need to pull her to him.
“I am doing as well as can be expected. My injuries have healed nicely, but my ribs are still slightly tender. Nothing to be concerned about, though,” she added quickly.
Inwardly, he smiled at that. Surely she was telling him what he thought she was.
“You were asking about my injuries, were you not?” she asked hesitantly.
“Yes, I was. I’ve been very concerned for you the entire time I’ve been away. I’ve hardly been able to think on anything else.” He looked at her and saw her blush yet again. “How is Lancelot faring?”
“He has been rather skittish since it happened. He won’t let anyone near him except dear Freddy and myself. He is completely healed though. I feel so terrible for him. If only I had done something differently, this might not have happened,” she said truthfully. Sadness entered her eyes followed by doubt. She looked away, growing distant.
Declan watched her demeanor change as she thought. What was going through her mind? She looked pained and even afraid. He wanted to hold her and wipe away those feelings.
“Allana, what is it?” he asked with concern.
She glanced his way and quickly looked away. “Nothing,” she answered quietly.
He sighed, but did not pressure her. Instead he changed the subject to the wedding and continued walking toward the rose garden. His secretary had set up the necessary arrangements with the vicar and church, both of which resided on Westbrook. Connor, Lilly, and Marcus had done their share of the arrangements while Allana had been recovering from her injuries. Everything was ready; they simply needed to wait for the day to arrive.
They were in the garden now, standing by the small bench. Declan glanced Allana’s direction and saw her do the same, as if she too was remembering their last encounter here. Declan couldn’t resist any longer. He needed to hold her and feel her lips against his. He needed her touch to erase the doubts which clouded his mind toward her. He reached for her to pull her to him, whispering her name in the process.
Allana gasped sharply, recoiling—almost jumping—from his touch. There was fear in her eyes as she stared at him, and her breathing was ragged. She blinked several times as if trying to gather her bearings. Suddenly, her look turned horrified. She seemed stunned by what she’d done.
“Allana?” Declan whispered questioningly.
A hand came up and covered her mouth. She shook her head, stepping backward. “I’m sorry,” she said barely audible.
Declan clenched his jaw tightly. She was sorry. Was she rejecting him? Was the truth finally coming out? Had she truly been pretending this entire time? If so, then why had she looked so afraid?
“Allana, please, what is it? I don’t understand what is going on.” He tried not to sound angry, but it was difficult keeping it from his voice when his thoughts were where they were. She was afraid because she’d been caught unprepared. There hadn’t been time to ready herself for his touch. In the past, she’d always had time, and perhaps there had even been a time she wanted it. After all, Lucas had betrayed her just days before Declan discovered her. The new-found attention may have been welcome. Something had occurred since then, however, and now she was being forced to feign interest.
“I…,” she began. She stared at him, an inner struggle obviously occurring. “I cannot,” she said as tears began sliding down her cheeks.
Declan’s heart froze. She wasn’t acting at all. She was being truthful with him. She could not pretend any longer. Her heart had been reclaimed by Lucas.
Allana stepped even further away from him. Declan didn’t stop her. She stared at him, something akin to sorrow upon her face. Then she turned and fled, sobbing as she did so. She did not flee in the direction of the house, rather the direction of the stables. Declan wasn’t surprised by this. He sighed heavily as he watched her go. He would not chase her this time.
Anger welled up inside as feelings of betrayal scorched his soul. He was a fool. The rumors he’d heard in London were true. For whatever reason, Allana had forgiven Lucas. He was the one she wanted, not Declan. How could he have been so stupid to believe she had feelings for him? Hadn’t he learned enough from his first wife?
Rebecca had betrayed him in the worst way possible. She’d lied and snared him in a trap using her feminine guile, and now Allana had done the same. But Allana he loved. He never loved Rebecca. Her betrayal had not stung as Allana’s did. Allana’s cut him deep almost to the point of hatred, and the only way to get back at her for this injustice was to marry her. Marry her and cause her misery…or his own. No, it would be her misery. He was getting what he wanted—land. With that decided, Declan returned to the house to have words with Marcus.
* * *
Declan’s demeanor confused Connor. The man had seemed so pleased to see Allana earlier, but now he seemed cold and distant. Something had happened. Connor waited as patiently as he could for Declan to say something that would relay what had occurred. But his final words only baffled Connor more.
“I must know the truth of what happened to Allana,” Declan said insistently. “How did the accident really happen? Where was she? She and Lancelot know this terrain too well to go near dangerous areas, even at night. What are you hiding from me?”
Declan’s eyes betrayed a hurt man inside, and this baffled Connor even more. What had happened between Allana and Declan to cause him to be so guarded, and how the hell did he know they were hiding something from him?
“What do you mean?” Connor asked, trying to hide his surprise.
“I heard rumors while I was in London, Connor. I know something was afoot here, now tell me what it was,” Declan demanded.
“What kind of rumors did you hear, Declan?” Lord Tananguard asked quietly. “You know how mangled the truth gets when it passes between people.”
Connor did not like this at all. Who had started those rumors? Nobody was supposed to know anything outside of the six people who knew the truth, unless Allana’s attacker had boasted of his deed.
“If you tell me the truth, the rumors will not matter. Please. It won’t affect my decision to marry Allana. That I promise.”
Connor was tempted to tell Declan the truth. He was positive it would dispose of Declan’s reserve, but Connor had promised Allana. He looked at Declan long and hard, debating what he should say.
“I am sorry, Declan.
Only Allana can tell you,” Lord Tananguard said before Connor could make a decision. “Know this, though. I believe she has very strong feelings for you, and I believe you will be happy together.”
Declan looked doubtful. Something was very wrong here. What rumors are being spread about my sister? Connor wondered angrily.
“Very well. I suppose I will have to accept your answer then,” Declan replied bitterly, ending the conversation there. “I should go now. I doubt I will be back until sometime later in the week. I have to catch up on some work at Westbrook. Please give my apologies to Allana.”
“Yes, of course we will,” Lord Tananguard replied.
“Thank you. Good day, gentlemen,” Declan finished, bowing to the two men.
“Good day, Declan,” Lord Tananguard replied.
Connor simply watched Declan go without saying a word. He was astounded as to what had caused the change in the man. He wanted to corner Allana immediately and find out what had happened between her and Declan, but he couldn’t find her.
“Jennings, have you seen Lady Allana?” Connor asked the butler.
“No, Sir, I have not. Would you like me to look for her?” Jennings replied.
“No, I will find her,” Connor said in return. He searched the entire house for her without success. He headed for the stables and found Lancelot missing. Where had she gone?
“Connor, she’s fine. Trust me. She will return,” Lilly said reassuringly.
“But what if she is in danger and no one knows where she is. Her attacker could be cornering her as we speak,” he finished with concern on his voice.
“We cannot always live in fear. I believe she’s all right, Connor. She used to disappear like this all the time when she was younger. It does no good to worry,” Lilly replied.
He couldn’t help it though. Allana had to be upset, and that could not be good.
Connor waited by the stairs for her when everyone else went to bed. Finally, late in the night, she returned.
“Where have you been?” he asked his groggy-eyed sister when she crept into the house. “You’ve been gone all day. I was worried sick, especially after the way Declan behaved when he returned from his walk with you.”
“I went for a ride and fell asleep,” she said with sad eyes. Her beautiful face looked hollow, and her eyes were red from crying.
“Allana, what happened?” Connor asked.
“I did something irreparable, Connor. I did not mean to, but my body simply reacted. It was as if I was not in control of my actions,” she spoke as fresh tears began to fall.
“Did he hurt you?” Connor asked frantically.
She looked horrorstricken when she heard the question. “Oh no. He would never hurt me,” she said in his defense. She looked down before adding quietly, “I’m afraid I’ve hurt him, though.”
“Tell me what happened, Pet.” And she did. She told him everything.
“I panicked when he touched me. I felt myself wrench away from him, and the fear must have been obvious upon my face. It all happened before I had a chance to realize what I had even done. He looked so stricken afterward, then angry. I’ll never forget that look.” She herself looked defeated.
Connor ached for his sister. Her happiness had been shattered. He was determined now, more than ever, to catch the man who had attacked her.
“Allana, you’ve got to tell him the truth. He will understand.” Connor had tried to tell her this before, but she’d always shunned the idea. Now, maybe she would listen to him.
“I can’t,” she said.
“Allana, surely now—”
“No, Connor. I cannot. I tried to this afternoon, but I could not get the words out. I simply cannot do it, and I will not.” She sounded fierce and determined. Connor knew better than to argue with her when she made up her mind. She was simply too stubborn.
“Then you will have to show him in another way just how much you love him,” Connor said sadly. The next few weeks and possibly months were going to be difficult for his sister.
Chapter 24
The wedding was beautiful. It was held in the small chapel on Westbrook. There were fresh flowers of every kind, and the sun was actually shining. Allana wore a lovely white dress trimmed in lace with white flowers spun throughout her auburn locks. She had a circle of pearls about her neck and a bouquet of white and red roses from her garden.
Declan’s pained heart skipped a beat as he watched her. Her father escorted her down the aisle toward him. Bitterness filled his soul. How was he to ignore the fact that she was to be his? Could he simply avoid her when she was living in his house? He didn’t know if he could do it. Declan had made the decision to marry Allana out of anger and the need to punish. After deep thought, he had made the decision to marry her to spare her family the dishonor which would come if he rejected her. Rejection would confirm the rumors in London, causing humiliation to fall on the Tananguard household because of Allana’s misdeeds. If Declan married her and then something happened, such as Allana leaving him to be with Lucas, the humiliation and dishonor would fall on his shoulders instead of Marcus’s.
Declan was accustomed to being in such a position, but it was the last thing Marcus and Lilly needed with a new baby on the way. A voice inside Declan’s head seemed to ask him if this was the only reason he was still agreeing to the wedding, causing him to grind his teeth irritably. He hated to admit it, but there was still hope Allana might eventually return his feelings. He was in love with her. How could he not hope? He wanted her beyond anything he had ever wanted, but he was too hurt and humiliated to give into those desires. All he wanted was to get this wedding over with, and then avoid Allana the rest of the day and possibly the rest of their marriage—or at least until she ran away with Lucas. Unfortunately, he had to spend today with her, and if he wanted the guests to believe he wanted this marriage to work, he needed to erase the bitterness and pretend he was in love with the woman walking his way. Then maybe he could dismiss the rumors about him only wanting her for her land. When she did leave, he would look the victim instead of the heartless bastard who had forced her to marry him so he could have half of Tananguard.
Thus, he covered up his contempt for her and smiled pleasantly, taking her hand in his and looking at her like a man in love.
* * *
Allana cherished that look and kept it close to her heart. She wanted it to be real, but deep down she knew it wasn’t. Something was terribly wrong between the two of them. Declan had avoided her for the past week. He came by yesterday just long enough to make certain everything was in order for today, but he hadn’t even bothered to let her know he was there and left before Connor could call for her. She’d hoped she could show him her love before the wedding, but he never gave her the opportunity. Now he was pretending everything was as it should be, so she was too. She erased her sad disposition and basked in his presence, making their happiness almost seem real.
Everyone was fooled. Lilly, her father, and even Connor seemed to think everything was as it should be, but it wasn’t.
Allana wondered what it would be like when she was alone with Declan. Were they to be one in all ways? She would not let him take her unless his actions and feelings for her changed. She would not suffer his indifference toward her and allow him to bed her like some courtesan, even if she was his wife.
She let him guide her around throughout the day, hanging on his arm to show everyone it was indeed her choice to be with him. They danced together, they chatted idly with others, but they barely spoke to each other. Finally, it was time to retire. People were leaving Westbrook Manor and bidding them the best of wishes. Carmon cried as she hugged and kissed Allana, telling her how lucky she was. Edmund gave her a wink and a few words of wisdom before escorting his new bride out of the house. At last the crowd dissolved, and all that remained was Allana’s family.
Allana hugged Lilly tightly, feeling emotions ready to overflow. She was frightened to be alone with her husband and feel his rejection of her
all over again. Their feigned day of happiness was coming to a close. Soon she would see how he truly felt toward her.
Lilly’s stomach gave a thumping lurch into Allana’s, causing her to back away in surprise.
“Oh,” Lilly laughed. “He’s simply wishing you the best like the rest of us. Now if only he would come out of there,” Lilly said, rubbing her belly tenderly. She still had a small amount of time before that would happen.
Lord Tananguard followed Lilly, hugging Allana and congratulating her on getting such a fine husband. Connor was the last to leave, pulling Allana aside while Declan said goodbye to Lilly and their father.
“Are you going to be all right, Pet?” Connor asked with concern.
“Yes, Connor. There’s no need to worry,” Allana replied, smiling at him to ease his worry.
“Well, you two may have fooled all the other nobles who came today, but I know you better than they do,” he said.
“I know, and honestly, I am scared. But everything will be fine. You’ll see,” she reassured.
“I still think you should tell him the truth. That’s all he wants from you. The truth would mend everything,” Connor pleaded once more.
“I will think on it, but I still don’t think I can,” she replied. “Now give me a hug, and wish me luck.”
He sighed in frustration, but obeyed her.
“Good luck, then,” he said in her ear.
* * *
Declan watched Connor and Allana. There was a small argument occurring, but it seemed Allana won. Declan almost smiled at that. He really had enjoyed this day even if he hadn’t spoken much to Allana. It had been pleasant to pretend everything was perfect, but he knew the pretense was coming to an end.
“Connor,” Declan said, announcing his presence.
Connor turned. “Cunningham. You are getting an incredible woman.”
“Indeed,” Declan said in reply. “If only I were worthy of her.”
Connor laughed. “You are the only one worthy of her. So you had better take care of her.” Connor’s pleasant demeanor changed very serious. “Make her happy, Cunningham.”
The Lady and the Earl Page 22