by Piper Rayne
“I told you, three is a crowd,” one woman says to another and they laugh.
I roll my eyes.
“We were always in competition. Who got a better grade? That night, I stole Vic out from under your nose and you’ve never forgotten it.” Pete crosses his arms, a smug look on his face like he’s won the argument.
“I saw her first,” Reed fires back. “You may have spent the better part of a decade with her, but she was always mine. And you know it.”
The buzzer drops from my hands and they both look over at me.
“What?” I ask quietly.
Reed steps toward me, reaching out but I back step until I hit the metal barrier.
“No.” I shake my head, putting the eyewear in my hand on my face. “I’m some sort of prize in a sick game between you two?”
“No. That’s not it.” Reed fights for me to listen to him, but Pete stays in place, happy with what he’s accomplished.
I hit the timer, grab the baseball bat and a can of spray paint and push past the barrier toward the car.
Jumping on the roof, I swing the baseball bat down on the windshield, hitting it over and over again until it shatters. For the next five minutes, I stomp, hit, pound and generally go ballistic on the scrap of metal. My shitty marriage to Pete wham, Reed only being with me to get back at Pete wham, my feelings for Reed wham, the fact he’s leaving me wham...all the tension and emotion that’s been whirling around inside of me unleashes.
The buzzer goes off and I wipe the sweat from my brow before I pull out the can of spray paint. In big pink letters on the hood, I spell out what must come first. ME.
I drop the bat on the pavement and walk past Reed without a word. Everyone else is standing around like I’m Negan from The Walking Dead.
Haven’t they ever seen a woman let off a little steam before?
Chapter Thirty-Three
I’m not even to the street before Reed’s hand is clasping my arm.
“Hold up. Let me explain.”
I stop and turn, showing him my tear-stricken cheeks. There’s no more hiding how much this man means to me. How much what was said hurt me.
“Come here.” His arms tighten around me and I bury my head in his chest. “He’s making it sound bad, but it’s not. I promise.”
I look up at him, waiting for an explanation.
“Come.” He leads me to that same park again, sitting me on a swing this time. “He’s right on one thing. I saw you first. That night you met Pete, I was there.”
I try to remember him being there, but I was enamored with Pete immediately and I was in college and drinking, so the details are fuzzy.
He sits down in the swing next to me. His large body and the small swing gives him the illusion of a giant.
“I pointed you out, but you were having so much fun with your friends I didn’t want to be that douche who approached you and took you away from them. My eyes were on you the entire night. The more attention I drew to you, the more Pete was intrigued. I went to the bathroom and by the time I came back, you were talking to him and laughing at something he said. I paid my share of the tab to my other buddies and left.”
“Why didn’t you say any of this before?”
He looks at his feet digging a hole into the wood chips. “How does it sound?”
“Sounds like you had a reason to chase me.”
He raises his eyebrows. “That’s not why I’m dating you.”
A small smile creases my lips. “I know.” I do. Deep down I know Reed and he wouldn’t use someone to seek revenge on Pete.
“You do?” The chains creek as he turns the swing so he’s facing my direction. “Have I always been attracted you? Yes. Even when I shouldn’t have been? Yes. I like to think fate interceded and gave us a second chance. If I’d barged my way in there that night, Jade might never have been and she’s the true light in your eyes. As much as I was pissed at Pete and hated him asking me to stand up there to watch you marry him, it wasn’t for naught. It was for Jade. I’d never wish things were different.”
I lean forward and place my hands on his cheeks and plant a kiss on his lips. “You truly are a prince.”
“I only want to be your prince.”
I sit back, twisting the swing.
“Vic?”
I have to do what’s right. “You have to go to New York.”
He shakes his head and I nod mine.
“You do. You have to do it for yourself. You’re right, I have Jade. Reed, you’re something out of a fairy tale. As selfishly as I want to keep you in Chicago with me or pack up Jade and move to New York...I can’t. I know you’re not Pete, I do. But I can’t give up on myself. This time around I have to pick me. I choose me.”
He exhales a long, ragged breath.
“I’ll support you. We’ll do long distance until your graduate. We’ll spend the summer getting Jade acquainted. You can search for a job. It won’t be like it was with Pete. I’m your biggest supporter. You can have your independence and me. I promise.”
Tears burn in the corner of my eyes and I do my best to keep the tears from falling. “I can’t.”
He stops fighting for a moment though I know the lawyer in him is thinking up his next argument and it’s only a matter of time. He wants to win this case and I wish he could, too, but he needs to go to New York and I need to stay here. There’s no way around it.
“We could do long distance. I can fly back every weekend,” he says, desperation in his voice.
“That’s not a relationship, you know that. Even when you do come back, I’ll have Jade with me every weekend.”
“Why are you fighting this?” he stands up, pacing in front of me, threading his hands through his hair.
“I told you, I need to choose myself and you should do the same.”
He falls to his knees in front of me, wood chips flying, his hands resting on my thighs. “I’ve fallen in love with you, Victoria. Can’t you see that? I love you and I want you in my life.”
My hand runs down his cheek. “You want me in your life on your terms.”
His head drops to my lap and my fingers thread through his hair one more time, attempting to memorize the sensation since it may be the last time I get to do this. He stands up again without warning, the adoring expression he usually bears while around me gone. “I’m constantly being punished because of him.”
“That’s not it.”
“It is. You can’t open up and let happiness in, even when it’s the real thing because of everything he put you through.” He’s back to pacing, with each step taken farther from me.
“I can’t go to New York and leave my entire life behind.” My eyes burn as the tears finally escape and roll like a river down my face.
“That’s just an excuse. New York is your way of pushing me away again. Fine”—his hands fly up in the air—“you win. I fold.” His expression slices me open, flays me and opens all my wounds for his inspection. “Bye, Victoria.”
His back hunches as he walks away in the direction of where his car is parked. I watch him climb in and drive off. He doesn’t squeal his tires, or stick up his middle finger, but just as easily as he walked back into my life, he leaves it yet again.
Chapter Thirty-Four
The next day, I’m in a taxi with Pete and Jade. Jade wanted to spend as much time with her dad as possible, so I agreed that we’d go with him to the airport. Ok, so it was partly so I could make sure he actually got on the plane.
“I’m going to miss you, Daddy.” Jade nuzzles into her dad.
He kisses her head. “I’m going to miss you too, but I’ll be back soon. Promise.” His eyes glance over her head to me. “Maybe you can come out this summer.”
“And play at the beach?”
“Yeah.” He raises his eyebrows.
I look out the window not answering him. He’ll fight me if he really wants her, but as soon as he’s back in his office, his attention will be consumed, so there’s a chance it won’t happen
anyway.
The taxi pulls up to the curb at the airport and we all climb out, Pete paying.
“This is where we say goodbye, Bug.” My hands slide down her long hair, fisting it in a ponytail and releasing it.
“Can’t we go in with him?” she whines.
“They won’t let us past security.”
She pouts. Pete grabs his bag out of the trunk and sets it on the curb, then crouches down with his arms out. “I’ll miss you, Bug,” he says, holding her tight.
I have no idea how he does it. How he’s able to leave her for months at a time. Our situation sucks, but how can he not have a more active role?
His eyes close and then open. “Be good for Mommy,” he says, his voice quivering.
“I will.” He stands up and Jade comes to my side.
“Get your hair done or something,” he says to me, a crack of a smirk on his face. He’s testing the waters.
“Use that gym membership,” I say back.
We hug, patting each other’s backs and keeping at least five inches between our lower regions. It makes Jade happy to see us gracious to one another.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers.
Pulling back, I nod, tears pooling in my eyes. It’s the second time he’s apologized since everything went down. Not only for arguing with Reed, but for saying he still wanted me. Apparently two minutes after it flew out of his mouth he realized how ridiculous that was. So, he’s not a complete idiot.
Jade and I watch Pete go through the sliding doors, one last wave in our direction before the crowd swallows him up from sight.
Jade hugs my leg, tears free falling down her cheeks.
“Oh, Bug,” I say, the tears I was holding back, finding their release.
As we get back in the taxi, we each cry for two very different men who mean the world to us.
* * *
The next Monday, my heart is my throat until I drop off Jade and see Ned walking Henry up to the door.
Darcie and Georgia side-eye me but don’t approach. It doesn’t escape me that in their minds I went from two men to none. Not that what they think of me is high on my list of things to get me down.
I hug Jade, tighter than I usually do and head toward the train. By the time I get to work, I’m ten minutes late because of a train delay.
“You’re late,” Chelsea says, placing a coffee on my desk with a muffin.
I take off my coat, hanging it up and taking my bags to my desk.
“You didn’t have to.” I motion to the coffee and muffin.
“You’re my girl and I know you’re hurting. Carbs make people happy.” She smiles sitting down in front of my desk. “I hate to ask, but the steak…”
“Packing his stuff for New York is my guess.”
She nods, biting her lip. “Do you not want to talk about it?”
I shake my head and pray I don’t cry at my desk.
“Okay.” She stands and disappears into her office.
I type in my password and a lone tear slips because I stupidly put hottiereed as my password. I lift my notepad to write down the messages from the weekend to see a folded-up Post-it note stuck to my desk.
You’re a very dirty girl, but I’ll totally lick you clean.
~ R
My head falls to the desk with a thump. He must’ve left it there the last time he was in here, but I’ve only just noticed.
“What’s this?” the door opens and Hannah waltzes toward my desk, concern in her dark eyes. “Are you sick?”
“She’s heartbroken,” Chelsea answers from her office.
“Why? What happened?” Hannah sits down in the chair in front of me.
“I’m a horrible person.” I rub my forehead.
She leans forward. “No, you’re not. Talk to me.”
“Reed got offered the DA position in New York City, he asked her to go, she declined. Hence the defeated head on the desk position.” Chelsea joins Hannah by sitting in the chair next to her. “I brought her a muffin. I’ll totally fill in until he’s out of your system.”
I sit up, grab a Kleenex and pat under my eyes. “What if I never get him out of my system?”
“You will.” She reaches forward and pats my hand. “Men are like that killer pair of heels in the shop window. They look so good, but you just know in the end, they’re going to hurt like a bitch.”
“That’s helpful, thank you.” Hannah looks at Chelsea with a what-the-fuck expression.
“She just needs to find another pair. How could he think you’d just drop your life and follow him?” Chelsea asks.
Hannah’s questioning gaze lands on mine. “Did he?”
I nod.
“What are you thinking right now?” she asks.
“That I want to run down to his work and tell him I’ll follow him to Africa if he wants me to.”
She laughs. “Thought so.” She stands. “My advice is to give it some time.”
My heart splinters thinking about more time away from him. I know it was the right thing to do for everyone involved, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less.
“You’re taking the rest of the day off.” Hannah walks to the coat rack, holding out my jacket for me.
“No, Hannah, I can work.”
She shakes her head. “Nope. You’re going home.”
I stand, my shoulders slumped as I slide my arms into my coat and Chelsea hands me my bags. They each pull me into a big hug. “You’ll get through this,” Hannah whispers.
“He wasn’t that hot,” Chelsea offers, and we all laugh a little because we know Reed actually was that hot.
“Now, you go.” Hannah opens the door and motions for me to leave.
I walk out, and when I reach the sidewalk, my mind wanders, wondering if Reed is in that building down the street. Is he packing a brown box to take with him? What could have been between us if the timing was right?
I shake my head. Weeks from now he’ll be gone, and I won’t have to worry about running into him. That should help me. Yeah, right.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Two weeks later…
* * *
To say I’m finding my footing again would be a complete lie. I go through the routine of my life. I drop Jade off, I go to work, I attend school, I take care of what I need to. None of it with a zest for life. None of it with a smile.
“Mommy,” Jade says interrupting my internal thoughts. She skips along the sidewalk, more chipper than usual for a Monday morning.
“Yeah?”
“Henry said Reed went to New York City?”
Jade hasn’t asked me much about Reed and I see she’s been getting a lot of her information from Henry.
“Yeah.”
“When’s he coming back? He’s been gone for a long time.” She doesn’t look at me and I know she doesn’t understand what’s going on. She thinks he went for a vacation, not to live there permanently.
“I don’t know, Bug. He moved there for a job. He lives there now.”
Her feet halt on the cement and she twirls around, her hands landing on her hips. “What?”
“He got offered a job there, so he moved.”
“Why would he do that?”
I tighten her ponytail, easing her forward with my hand on her back. “You’ll understand when you’re older.”
“Why would he leave you?”
Talk about a question that’s like throwing a boulder at me, but in the weeks since Reed left, I’ve learned to compartmentalize. “He didn’t leave me.”
I pushed him to leave.
“It was a really great opportunity,” I add.
Her hand weasels into mine and she leans into me. “I’m sorry, Mommy.”
I squeeze her hand. “Thanks, Bug.”
I smile down at her and Reed’s words come back to me. She truly is my light. But he was a close second.
We break the tree line and even though he hasn’t dropped Henry off in three Mondays, my throat still tightens on the ridiculous chance Abe will
pull up to the curb and Reed will walk Henry up to the school.
Jade circles around me, waving and saying hello to friends.
“Bug, you gotta go to school.”
She continues circling. Darcie and Georgia have moved on to someone else to pick on now. Most of the drop-off and pickup parents now ignore my existence which is fine by me.
“In a second. I’m waiting for Henry.” She continues circling me, her hands running along my shirt as she rounds each side of me.
I glance at my phone. “It’s getting late, maybe he’s not coming.”
“He’s coming,” she singsongs, not stopping.
“One minute, Jade then you have to go into school.”
“He’ll be here.” She skips around me.
I roll my eyes, waiting for the minute to be up.
“Jade doesn’t want to go to school today?” Darcie asks, and I glance her way.
“You know Mondays.” I’m polite instead of telling her to piss off and mind her own business which is what I really want to do.
“I knew it,” Jade murmurs.
I turn, and the familiar sight of Abe’s car unleashes the butterflies in my stomach.
Henry runs out, heading right toward Jade and my breath is stuck in my throat waiting to see who else is in the backseat.
“Ready, Jade?” Henry asks.
Jade hugs my legs. “Bye, Mom.”
“Bye, Bug.” I pat her back, my attention solely focused on the car.
The back door opens on the street side. A few cars passing by honk and then he circles around—a silver tie clip gripped between his teeth as he ties his tie. Just like the first time I saw him again, his blue suit is pressed and tailored to his body, his hair gelled to messy perfection. I refuse to take my eyes off him in case I really have lost it and my imagination has conjured him up.
He holds up his finger in my direction, walking past me and up the stairs to the school. “Henry,” he says, holding his fist out.
They fist bump and then he descends the steps, his eyes never leaving mine. I’m still in a state of shock as he comes to stand in front of me.