“My need to be bonded to you was so strong that I let my instincts get the best of me. I regret that you didn’t understand what we were doing and how profound it was for us, to me.” His fingers flex and dig into my hip. “But I would do it all over again. Can you honestly tell me you don’t feel the same pull toward me? That when we are together like this, it doesn’t feel right?” He stops and holds his breath.
It catches me off guard for a minute. I believe that Nato cares about what I’m about say. That I could have the capacity to shatter his world. Strange feelings rise in my chest, and it gets hard to swallow. I’ve never had this power over anyone, and it’s so foreign. I think it’s good. I am wanted. Needed, even. Isn’t that what I have been looking for? Isn’t belonging to someone and caring deeply for each other, isn’t that a form of purpose?
Is it such a big deal that he bound me to him without my consent? Ugh. That sounds really bad when I say it in my head like that. I can’t even pretend it’s okay. Let’s try this again. I do have an unexplainable pull toward Nato. Toward all the guys. Nato and I are going to be tied together for the rest of our lives, assuming he told me the truth, and you bet your bottom dollar I’m going to be checking the facts as soon as I can. Anyway, back to spending our lives together. I believe him when he says he was going off instinct, and even jealousy, though he didn’t come right out and say it. Do I want to start this relationship off by holding a grudge?
No, I don’t, even if he deserves it. I don’t know a lot about relationships since I’m a hermit whenever I don’t have to work, but I love to read romance novels. If there is one common theme, it’s that to make any relationship work, you need to have a lot of forgiveness. Forgiveness for your partner, forgiveness for yourself. No one is perfect, and you have to be able to forgive and move on. I would like to believe that a person’s ability to love directly correlates to their ability to forgive. Not forget, but forgive.
Starting today. Now. I am going to be the person I want to be. Someone I would admire and respect.
I realize I am holding my breath too. Nato looks anxious as I work out my thoughts in my head. I didn’t realize that I went silent on him for a few minutes. I exhale slowly through my nose and decide to put him out of his misery.
“I won’t lie to you, Nato, and say I don’t feel it. I do. But all of this is new to me, and what you did was not right. You can’t take my choice away ever again. No matter what happens, you can’t do it again, or any relationship we are trying to build will be over. Do you understand?”
“Yes. I promise, I will not ever take decisions out of your hands again,” he blurts out.
“I still don’t get it. You said that you won’t ever take any other partners, but I will take three more. You say that like it is already a given. Aren’t you afraid of the jealousy that kind of relationship brings? I know I am. I never considered that as an option for domestic bliss. I can’t even wrap my head around it.”
“Beautiful, you are all I need, and yes, you need to take three more partners to come into your full powers. It will be impossible for us to accomplish what we need to without you gaining full powers from each house. Do I think I’ll get jealous? Sure. I might, but I also understand what this is. This is all uncharted territory for you, so I know it will have to set in. It helps that I’m hoping the other three will be my brothers. That would eliminate jealousy because I love them already.”
“I don’t even know how to respond to that.” I shake my head.
“You don’t have to. Just spend some time here and get to know us. Learn about our people and how to use your Zien powers.” He squeezes me a little tighter.
“Okay.”
When I disentangle myself from Nato and get out of bed, I notice a small stack of boxes with a shabby comforter lying on top. Opening the top box marked clothes, I see they are in fact my things. From the outside looking in, I guess it’s a little sad that all of my belongings from the studio apartment amount to a few boxes and bags. They must have left the furniture, mostly thrift store and yard sale finds, behind.
I tilt my head back and count the swirls on the popcorn ceiling as I regulate my breathing. It’s not really helping. I’m pretty sure that this relationship thing is new to him too, and it’s as clear as Fuji water that this is going to be an uphill battle. I sigh. It’s going to be so hard because the guys don’t even realize that I should be making these decisions for myself. And I say guys because Nato couldn’t singlehandedly pack all my stuff and haul it over. They act like it’s their right to take care of me any way they see fit. My feelings are irrelevant.
“I’m trying really hard, Nato, to go with the flow here. But every time I turn around, I find something else that shows how completely you guys control my life right now.”
He places his hands on my shoulders and turns me around to face him.
“I understand. This had to be done, though. After we took you from the diner, they would have had people all over your apartment when they realized that you weren’t coming back in. While I was getting you, Egan cleared your studio out. We wanted to make sure you had your clothes and any sentimental items. If the police had gone to your apartment first, there is no telling when you would actually have been able to collect your things, given that you are technically missing.”
That makes sense. I still don’t like it.
Shame on me for not even thinking of these things. When police start snooping around and find all my belongings missing, they’ll conclude that I left town. That totally works in Nato’s favor, leading me to believe he has more ulterior motives than he wants me to believe. I narrow my eyes at him, and his widen in mock innocence. I’ll keep this suspicion to myself for now.
“Promise me. Promise me there will be no more decisions like this and that we will discuss our options and make a decision together. I need this, or I won’t stay here.”
His body tenses, but he quickly relaxes.
“That’s fair. I can promise that.”
He leaves me to get dressed, and it feels really good to have on my own clothing. Nothing says happiness like a clean pair of underwear.
As I leave the guest room and enter the main living space, I take in the guys in varying corners of the living room and kitchen. Egan is sprawled on the couch, watching the outside world. Jari is in the chair working on a Rubik’s cube, and Nato and Sage are in the kitchen doing some kind of food prep.
Something I said to Nato comes back to me. I said we would make decisions together. Not sure if Nato caught the whole meaning, but I meant that pronoun to include all four guys. I already consider this group of people mine. Like I belong to them, and in turn they belong to me. That all on its own is pretty freaking scary.
CLAPPING THREE TIMES in quick succession, I angle myself so all the men are in sight.
“All right. What’s the plan, and who wants to tell me what the hell that was with that guy Rand this morning?”
In my head, I’m jumping around in excitement. I am finally going to get some answers, and it feels so, so good. No more passive aggressive behavior for Isolde. This bitch is getting down to business.
They all exchange an indecipherable look before settling their attention back on me.
“Sweets,” Jari starts out in a placating tone. “Rand has some very questionable allegiances. I know we promised you access to others of our kind, but we also have your best interests at heart. I don’t think any of us here feel comfortable with him in the same vicinity as you.”
I stare at him. Jari stares at me. Finally, I look around at the rest of our little assembly and wait for someone, anyone, to keep talking.
No one makes the first peep. They must think I will accept whatever they say, and that’s the end of the conversation. Yeah, no.
“And…?” I lift my eyebrows. “What about his allegiances are questionable? I’m going to need more information than that. Not that I don’t trust you all. But frankly, I don’t trust you all. Don’t lead me blind. Draw me a fucki
ng map.”
“He’s a dick, that’s what,” Sage mumbles, crossing his arms and leaning back against the kitchen counter.
“What Sage means is that Rand does not have the most delightful of personalities. Do you remember when we spoke of some of our settlements being attacked close to the portals? Rand and his band of merry men believe those attacks are originating from the human world. They are lobbying to actively take over the human realm,” Nato explains.
What the what? I do a mental head shake, feeling almost like Scooby Doo in the old cartoon. I totally need a clue. Are they trying to tell me we have some quasi Nazi group thinking they can take over the human realm? Only they’re worse than Nazis because these people have supernatural powers.
On that note, it’s time to make sure I know where these guys stand.
“What do you all believe?” I draw it out nice and slow.
“That those attacks are very important, and we need to pay close attention to everything and everyone when they occur. But we do not believe humans are to blame. Or if they are, that the majority not be punished for the acts of the few. We need more information before we can make any decision to act.”
Nato seems to be the unofficial leader. While the others have no problem speaking up, he generally directs the conversations. What he says rings with truth. It also makes sense. He isn’t condemning an entire planet based on a few assumptions. Good.
Egan speaks up. “Rand is part of a select group that is headed by his father. They are the drivers of the whispers going through Fennina, encouraging and planning the invasion of the human realm.”
“Yowza. That’s not good at all.” I turn away, not wanting to believe any of what I am hearing. A race of magical people who are currently being targeted and are divided about planning retaliation against the naive human race. Fantastical is what it is.
Egan sidles up next to me and grabs both of my hands in his, linking our fingers. “Issy, we are doing everything we can to prevent any attacks on the human race. That is why you are so important. We need you if we are to prevent such an extreme loss of life.”
I lift my chin and get caught in his gaze. Such a vibrant green, it provokes an intense desire in me that takes me by surprise. I draw in a deep breath that shudders out.
“That’s a lot of pressure to put on a girl’s shoulders.”
“You are not to bear it on your own. You will have four mates who will bear it with you. You get to choose those mates.” He pauses. I can tell the moment he realizes what he said. His eyes widen, and his mouth goes slack. “I mean, you will get to choose your remaining three mates.”
Egan’s skin is so fair it’s easy to see the blush rise high on his cheeks. It makes him extremely adorable, or as adorable as this sexy beast can be. Similar to saying that a lion is cuddly and loves the squeezes. I burst out laughing and loop my arms around his waist in a hug.
“It’s fine. I get what you’re saying.” He slowly lifts his arms and squeezes me back. I inhale his clean, masculine scent, and it drives me a little crazy.
I drop my arms and attempt to step back, but Egan holds me tight in his embrace. He buries his nose in my neck and inhales, growling softly. Fisting my hands in the sides of his shirt, I open my eyes. Nato is standing directly behind him and meets my eyes. I am afraid of what he sees. I know I must look like a lusty bitch right now with half-closed eyes, drooping even more by the second as Egan’s warmth presses into me. Four achingly sexy men to cater to my needs. They are all on board, and maybe I should be too.
Nato smiles softly, encouraging this show of affection. Such a weirdo. This whole thing has been like an adventure in the Twilight Zone.
I can’t figure out if he really believes everything he told me earlier or not. His features show no sign of jealousy or even discomfort; it appears he really doesn’t have an issue with the whole sharing-is-caring concept. I’m still having a hard time wrapping my head around it.
Egan pulls back and takes my hands again. “I promised you that we would introduce you to more of our kind. There is a lodge not far from here that serves as both a meeting place and training center for Fennin. We’ll leave as soon as you’re ready.”
“Now?”
His mouth curves into a sinful smile. “Unless you have something else in mind?”
“No. Nope. No,” I squeak.
They all have a good laugh and head to their own rooms.
Sage is the first to walk back into the living room, with Egan, Jari, and Nato close behind. All in black, moveable material as if they plan to take in some of their own training. I look down at my own T-shirt and jeans. I shrug. Oh well, they can take me or leave me.
“Got a twitch there, sweets?” Jari asks as he walks around me to reach the door.
I flip him the bird, earning an abrupt laugh from Jari and Egan.
“I was thinking there was a dress code and then decided it didn’t matter.”
We walk down the porch steps to a large black SUV. Jari proves chivalry isn’t dead by opening the front passenger seat for me. Way to redeem himself. I’ll take it.
“Thanks.” I grin at him.
He brings his hand to my lower back to help guide me in, and heat seeps through the thin material. His thumb is also rubbing small circles in my back. Damn. I exhale. They are constantly stoking my fire with all their small, intimate touches. The fact that I haven’t had a lot of human contact in the last fifteen years amplifies every touch and caress, no matter how light. I wouldn’t be able to tell you the difference between their hands and hot lava. That’s how much they affect me.
These boys are playing a game. A game they plan to win, and one I’m not sure I can resist. Or whether I even want to. I mean, come on, what girl doesn’t want a bevy of super sexy supernaturals all vying for the chance to pleasure her?
Of course, Nato is driving.
“So, where are we going exactly?”
“About twenty minutes west of here to a mountain lodge,” Nato says.
“All the attendees will be Fennin?” I probe.
“Yes, all Fennin.” Nato switches on the turn signal.
“Who are we going to be meeting tonight?”
Jari leans up through the back seat and lays his chin on my shoulder. I tilt my head sideways to see him more clearly.
“At this time of day there shouldn’t be too many people there. We thought that would be best for your first introduction. The team who runs this facility are good friends of ours. I think you will like them.”
“As long as you don’t like them too much.” Nato cuts me the side eye.
I laugh. “You are something else, you know that?”
They are probably getting tired of all my questioning, but I’m drinking from the water hose here. The more I learn, the more I learn I don’t know.
After a few more questions, the drive passes in companionable silence. Low music hums in the background. We head deeper into the mountains and finally arrive at a small lodge. It’s really quite impressive for the size, rustic beams and large, front-facing windows, set in a small copse of evergreen trees.
There are four vehicles in the driveway, and I’m starting to get nervous. I could be meeting anywhere from four to twenty Fennin. Here’s to hoping they’re friendly.
As we make our way up to the door, it swings open and a tall, willowy woman pops out. She sprints to Sage and jumps, wrapping her arms and legs around him. I hate to admit it, but her long limbs look good wrapped around him. Her fair skin and honey-blonde hair complement him perfectly. She kisses him fully on the mouth and laughs with such abandon it is almost painful for me to watch.
Who am I kidding? My hand raises subconsciously to my chest and rubs over my heart. What is this pain? I don’t even really like Sage. He’s a first-class asshole and has been nothing but rude to me. No, I won’t let this bother me. There is no reason it even should bother me.
Sage stiffens and stands perfectly still as she kisses him. He unwraps her legs and arms from
around him and sets her down gently to her feet. Although he doesn’t outright reject her, she must know something is wrong. Even I can see her confusion from where I am standing.
Sage looks pained but doesn’t make any effort to explain his restraint. Nato and Egan are looking at him in disapproval, and Jari watches without expression.
“Sage, what’s wrong?” Her voice is low and husky. Just as appealing as she is. It makes me hate her a little bit.
My resentment surprises me. I have never been a sister hater, and I’m not about to join the club now.
Both of their emotions flit plainly across their faces. Sage’s expression goes from surprised, to sad, and then something akin to regret. I wish I knew what caused the last emotion to grace his face. On hers, it’s a quick downward crumple from elated, to perplexed, and then settling on despair. She must realize something is not right in her world as far Sage is concerned.
I feel like an intruder on this private moment. I step backward toward the lodge. No one is paying any attention to me, and none of the others appear to want to leave. They can suit themselves. This chick is making like a tree and getting the hell out of dodge.
Did I mention I’m a crier? Commercials where the animals are abused or children are starving make me bawl like a baby. So yeah, this scene is quickly choking up my emotions, and I don’t like it. The air is so pregnant with unsaid feelings and broken memories between these two that it takes massive effort to keep walking backward.
Everyone’s attention is rapt on the scene playing out in front of them. Sage gently moves her an arm’s length away from him. I take another step backward. He’s looking anywhere but at her until his gaze lands directly on me. I tense but take another step back. Another array of emotions plays across his face. Too many, too quickly for me to catch all of them this time. But I’m certain he is as confused by his actions as I am.
Marks of the Mazza: Reverse Harem (Mazza Series Book 1) Page 6