by Shelly Davis
She was right about one thing, I definitely wasn’t ready to hear those words.
I didn’t stick around to hear any more. Rushing out of the building, I hopped into my Jeep and peeled out of the parking lot. I needed to get away. And later, when she called and texted numerous times, I didn’t answer.
I’m a fuckin’ coward.
***
The next two weeks were a whirlwind of activity, between the gym and the restaurant. Things progressed much faster than I imagined. Most of the key family members were interested in selling, especially once they saw my plans for the building.
It seemed what I wanted to do was right in line with their uncle’s renovation and redecorating plans. He had just upgraded the entire kitchen and had started in the main room when he passed away, and my plans were similar to his, right down to the menus. I wanted a more eclectic menu, serving home-cooking favorites instead of focusing on one type of food, which was similar to what their uncle had planned.
There was still one family member, a great nephew, who was holding out, but Monique believed he would relent soon. Since the rest of the family was on board with selling, he had little room to negotiate. With no experience and no money, none of his family was willing to sign the building over to him.
The gym was also a bustle with activity. As we progressed into December, we were heavy in the planning phases for training Julius’ entire pit crew. We had to redesign and remodel the entire private gym area to accommodate his team. Since it was a joint undertaking, Julius insisted on helping financially with the renovation. He said it was to improve his team, but I had a feeling it was his and Toni’s way of helping Cade and me since we now had a loan out for the restaurant.
It seemed we would do much of the training at the gym until the weather broke, then Cade would start to train them at the track at Fuller Enterprises where they could practice on a live car. Cade’s ideas were brilliant and would hopefully plunge our gym into the spotlight with other teams in the area.
With all of the activity at the gym, we hired another manager to help Faith. After talking to Uncle Bobby, I found out Emma’s husband, Derek, had recently lost his job, so Cade and I decided to bring him on at the gym.
Focusing on the gym allowed me to keep my distance from Mia. I didn’t know how to handle what I heard, but I knew I definitely wasn’t ready to deal with it. So I did what I knew best, I hid in my work.
Mia texted a few times over the past two weeks, but I either ignored it or answered with one word answers. I was a coward and I knew it, so instead of dealing with my shit, I buried myself in everything else. Training new people at the gym, meeting various family members who were in control of the restaurant, making business plans and helping with the gym renovation all occupied every moment of my spare time and let me avoid Mia.
The only time I saw her was when she was at the gym. We talked in passing, promised to make plans, but it never happened.
I hadn’t told her about the restaurant. I wasn’t sure what held me back from sharing with her, but for some reason I kept the prospect of owning my own restaurant from her. Did it make it too real? Was it the fear of the unknown? She was just as much an unknown as the restaurant. Even though she did everything she could to keep her ex away, he still was around. Did I fear the possibility that she’d return to him?
“Jake, I need to talk to you and Cade. Where are y’all?” Monique said the moment I answered my ringing phone. She sounded flustered.
“We’re at the gym in the back area where the pit crews are gonna be. What’s up?”
“I’m on my way. I’ll be there in about fifteen minutes.”
I hesitated. Something must’ve happened with the restaurant, she wasn’t usually this abrupt. My heart sank a little. Maybe the nephew who had been holding out finally came up with a plan on his own to keep the place. I knew the whole thing was kind of a pipedream, but with all the planning and the visits, I was finally excited about potentially having my own restaurant. I’d even gone as far as to talk to my mother about the possibility. I never wanted to get her hopes up if something was never going to happen.
“We’ll be here,” I said hesitantly.
She hung up without another word, telling me just how rushed she was. Monique was always on the run, like the ‘Energizer Bunny’, she constantly moved and never seemed to stop. Even speaking a mile a minute. If you zoned out while talking to her, you could miss an entire part of a conversation. It was tiring just watching and listening to her sometimes. But the way she acted was odd, even for her.
I walked into the almost completely finished training room where Cade had a couple of the new trainers moving equipment around. Every spare moment anyone had was spent in this room getting it ready to go. The moment the holidays were over, training would begin for the pit crew, and the new trainers would be set free with their clients.
I had hoped to begin working in the restaurant, but that might not happen now.
“Moni’s coming here, she said she needs to talk to us,” I told Cade the moment I walked into the room.
“What’s up?” Cade asked, a look of concern crossed his face. We both knew it was rare for Moni to ask to see us, something was going on.
“I don’t know. She should be here soon.” I looked around, the room was pretty much perfect. It looked like a pit stall. One of Julius’ old cars sat in the middle of the room, ready for practice. There was an area designated for speed and agility drills, an area with parts of axels sticking out of the wall for tire changing drills, and strength training equipment, all ready for team use. Everything we designed was meant to increase speed and stamina.
I looked around the room, pleased with the results, but the brief conversation with Monique had me thinking. Could I be happy with this forever? Was this gym enough to keep me happy? I guessed it would have to be, if the restaurant fell through, who knew how long it would take to find another.
“Where’s Mia been?” Cade asked. I didn’t confide in him about our dates or the fact that I couldn’t just sleep with her like I had the others. Hell, I wasn’t sure I was even ready to understand what that meant. I’d wanted her; I’d always wanted her, but the reality of what was happening between us was too much at the moment.
“She’s been around,” I said. “She’s here every day.” She was always around; so close yet so far away.
“Yeah, but not with you. You’ve barely talked in weeks.”
“Been busy. We’re workin’ eighteen hours a day here and when I’m actually not here I’m sleepin’ or tryin’ to figure out what’s goin’ on with the restaurant. There ain’t time to figure out what’s goin’ on with Mia.”
Cade shook his head and scowled. “You’re gonna fuck this up, aren’t you?” He paused and sighed. “This place can’t be everything. Work can’t be everything.”
“Who the hell are you to lecture me? You haven’t been with one woman for how long?”
I wasn’t sure what I was doing when it came to Mia. I wanted her, but part of me still didn’t trust her.
“This ain’t about me, brother. This is about you. You’ve wanted this woman for years and now that you can finally have her, you’re gonna push her away? That’s stupid and pretty screwed up.”
“Jake? Cade?” Monique called out in a loud, questioning tone, putting an abrupt end to our conversation.
“Yeah,” Cade said, popping up from behind the car. “We’re right here.”
Turning to me, he said one last thing. “You’re my brother and I’d like to see you stop screwin’ up your life and finally figure yourself out. If Moni’s here with bad news, we’ll figure it out. This isn’t the only building for sale.”
I didn’t want to say this was the only one I wanted. Yeah, there were other buildings, but none of the others even compared.
We walked toward her silently. I tried to read Monique’s expressionless face, with no use. There was no telling what she was going to tell us, but good or bad, I’d deal with it. Cade w
ouldn’t let me dwell if it was bad news, and I had a feeling he’d force me to look closer at some of the other buildings we’d recently viewed.
I forced a smile when we approached, even though I felt like I was going to be sick. I knew whatever news she had was going to be bad. It had to be, why else would she want to see us immediately?
“Well damn,” she said. “You look like shit.”
“Depends on what you’re here to tell us.” There was far too much honesty in that comment. Her news could either make or break me.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Mia
Two weeks. Two weeks of short answers, text messages, and empty promises of spending time together. Two weeks of passing glances and longing. He wasn’t completely ignoring me, but it certainly felt like he was pulling away. I wasn’t even sure what I did wrong this time.
Jake ran around the gym, constantly busy with preparing new trainers, coaching customers, and organizing the new addition to his and Cade’s business. He hardly looked my way.
Monique strode through the gym, long legs stretching beneath the short, black skirt she wore. Her six-inch heels probably made her barely shorter than Jake. Her thin body looked perfect in the professional skirt suit she wore. She was gorgeous and she knew it, and even though they both insisted there was nothing between them, I had a hard time believing it. Especially when she walked straight into the back area where I knew Jake was working on the new addition.
Why was she welcome back there, but I felt like I didn’t belong? Why couldn’t I have the confidence that seemed to come so naturally to her? I wanted to know what was happening back there and why she was there, but I’d never go see for myself. I’d just fume and push myself through my workout.
“Why do you look like you’re ready to kill someone or cry?” Derek asked as he neared me.
Emma and I worked a shift together last weekend at Uncle Bobby’s bar. She was excited when she told me Derek was hired at the gym. I knew once Jake found out Derek had lost his job, he would do something to help him out.
“I’m not,” I said, rather unconvincingly.
“Bullshit, Mia. You look like you’re ready to tear someone apart, specifically the woman who just went back to see Jake and Cade.”
My whole body deflated. “I don’t know, Derek. I don’t get it. Things were goin’ well with Jake, but now I’m not sure. He’s barely talked to me in weeks and now she’s here and she’s goin’ back there.”
“He’s just busy with everythin’, Mia. You gotta give him a chance to get it all straightened out.”
“Yeah, but he hasn’t invited me back there. He coulda asked me to visit with him if he wanted. He coulda asked me to help.”
The more I talked, the angrier and sadder I became. He could’ve asked me for help or made some kind of effort to see me for more than a moment in passing. Hell, he’s even had other people walking me to my car when I leave to make sure Grant wasn’t around and following me. If he was so worried about me, wouldn’t he make a point to at least make sure I got home safely?
Grant hadn’t been seen in the past two weeks, but I always knew he was around. He made sure I knew. He’d leave little notes or a single flower on my car or on the sidewalk outside of school or the bar. The last time I bartended, there was a letter or something taped to my bedroom window. I didn’t find out what it was because Julius and Toni found it and burned it before I had the chance.
Irritated beyond words, I stood and looked up at Derek. “I’m leavin’. I’m goin’ home now. See y’all tomorrow.”
I tried to storm past him, but his hulking frame stood in front of me and wouldn’t let me pass.
“Don’t leave pissed off, Mia. Let me go get him so you can talk. I’m sure that woman doesn’t mean anything.”
“He’s fucked her, Derek. They’ve been screwin’ around for years. They both promised nothin’ was goin’ on. Hell she made it a point to tell me there was nothin’ there between them anymore. But explain why he’s seein’ her, but he’s barely talked to me.”
By the time I was done with my rant, my cheeks were wet and Derek looked incredibly uncomfortable. I actually giggled to myself at the sight of Derek’s dumbfounded look.
“I’m sorry, Derek,” I giggled out. “You don’t need this shit. Anyway, I’m goin’ home.”
“Well, at least let me walk you out.”
I nodded. “Thanks, Derek. Just let me get my things.”
The drive home was uneventful, except for my ringing phone. One glance at the screen told me it was Jake calling.
Now he was going to call me. He’d basically ignored me for weeks and now he wanted to talk? Derek probably ran back there the moment I left and told him how unhinged I was.
I pulled around the back of the bar and sighed. Toni and Julius weren’t home and the house was completely dark. She had texted earlier in the day to warn me she’d be at Julius’ for the night. So the darkness shouldn’t have been a surprise.
But I didn’t feel like being alone.
“Mia,” a voice called from the shadows.
I froze at the sound of my name. Turning around, I couldn’t see where the voice came from, but I knew to whom it belonged.
“Mia, stop,” Grant growled low from the shadows.
“You aren’t supposed to be here,” I said turning around, trying to see him before he came out. My heart raced and my breathing was ragged. My limbs trembled and I was terrified I’d stumble with my legs trembling like gelatin.
“I’m not playing this game with you anymore,” he snapped. His voice clipped with every word.
“I ain’t playin’ games, Grant. You ain’t supposed to be near me.” I slid my hand in my pocket and without even looking, I pressed the screen on my phone. I didn’t know who, but I was calling someone. It should be either Bobby, Emma, or Toni at the top of the list. I just hoped whoever I called answered and heard there was a problem.
“Don’t worry, Mia. I’m not here to hurt you. I just want to talk.” He stayed to the shadows, but his voice sounded nearer. My stomach tumbled and rolled, so scared I was planted in my spot.
“Grant, I don’t wanna talk to you.” I tried to keep my voice calm and firm, but I could hear the tremble in my words. “You need to go and leave me alone, or I’ll have no choice but to contact the police.”
“Mia!” Emma shouted from the backdoor of the bar. “You okay, honey?”
“I’ll be back, Mia,” Grant growled. “We’ll talk soon.”
“Em, Grant’s out here. Get Bobby,” I shouted, but I knew it was too late. The sound of an engine rolling over and revving echoed through the silent mid-December evening.
I hurried through the parking lot and stepped onto the porch just in time to see Bobby burst through the kitchen door and come outside.
“Where is he?” he shouted.
“He left,” I whispered. “But he said he’d be back.”
“Son of a bitch. Why were you out here alone?” he asked harshly. I flinched at the accusing way he questioned me, like it was my fault Grant was following me around and hiding in the dark waiting.
“I ain’t gonna be a prisoner, Bobby!” I snapped. “I didn’t do anything wrong. All I did was drive home from the gym.”
“Where the hell’s Jake?” he barked. “He’s supposed to follow you home. He’s supposed to be watchin’ you.”
“Well he was busy. Everyone has their own lives and no one has time to babysit me. Besides, I can take care of myself. I ain’t gonna hide and be afraid of that asshole.”
Settling down, Bobby breathed out a long, frustrated breath. “Honey, I’m sorry. I ain’t mad at you, I’m just pissed nothin’ seems to get through to that cocksucker. You shouldn’t be out alone. That guy’s unstable. Followin’ a girl around just because she broke up with you ain’t normal.”
I nodded. “I understand. I’m just so sick of havin’ to look over my shoulder.”
“Is this the first time you’ve seen him since we got the re
straining order?”
I looked away, not wanting to admit the truth, but I shook my head. Grant never went away. He was always near. He always let me know he was close.
“Dammit, Mia. Have you told Jake?” Bobby asked.
“Why would I tell him? We barely talk. We ain’t together.”
“I thought …” he said, his voice trailing off.
“Well, you thought wrong,” I huffed. I pushed past him and into the bar. I was sick of this conversation.
I sat down at the bar and waited for Emma to come over.
“What can I get you?” she asked with a smile.
“Rum and coke, and a shot of tequila,” I demanded with a determined voice.
Emma just stood there and stared at me for a moment. When I didn’t say anything she finally spoke.
“Are you sure, Mia?” she asked.
“Yeah, Em. Thanks.” I said, noticing her look over at Bobby before turning and pouring my drinks.
The liquid went down easier than normal, and I downed the shot. I nodded to Emma for another. She didn’t say a word; she only filled my glasses every time they went empty.
The music was loud and the other barflies were louder. My head was fuzzy and I felt like I was floating above and beyond the room. I’d lost track of how many drinks I had and why exactly I’d started drinking in the first place, which was probably the point. When I looked around the room, I felt like I was moving in slow motion. My mind raced with nonsensical words and thoughts, but my body felt sluggish and weighed down.
One moment I was laughing giddily at nothing at all and the next moment I was ready to dissolve in a puddle of tears. If I weren’t feeling so good, I would’ve been embarrassed by my rampant mood swings. But there was no embarrassment, no worry, just alcohol-fueled happiness.
What didn’t I have to be happy about? After all, I had some great friends – none of which were here. I had a great job I loved – but it wasn’t enough. And I had Jake – but I didn’t actually have him, did I?
Tears, there were the damned tears again. My muddled mind couldn’t grasp why those thoughts brought tears streaming down my cheeks. It wasn’t so bad being alone. I liked being alone, I was used to it.