by Clancy Nacht
One of the men on the team, Keith, peered at Sloan, his jaw clenched briefly, and then he returned to grilling the woman on the side chair, presumably a candidate for wedding planner.
Upton nodded, took Sloan gently by the arm, and nudged him past the team and up the staircase to the loft area. “Probably shouldn’t look too obviously like I’m giving you a tour. This ran over. But over here is the guest room, and back here is um, our room, I guess.”
Sloan peeked into Upton’s room, taking in the tasteful furnishings, the comfortable looking bed. He’d slept so well beside Upton, better than he’d expected. What would it be like to be close enough to Upton to just climb into bed with him, cuddle up, and sleep?
Even as Zane, he’d enjoyed holding him. There was something sweet and hapless about the blond despite his power and wealth, something that begged Sloan’s embrace.
He realized belatedly he was staring at Upton and tore his gaze away, clearing his throat and staring at their shoes as his ears burned. He pulled it together and then met Upton’s gaze. “It’s beautiful. Really bright and...” He chuckled softly. “Nothing like my place.”
“I’m just going to…” Upton pulled Sloan in and shut the door behind them. “No one will think much of engaged people in a closed bedroom.”
Upton was blushing, too. Had he noticed Sloan gazing at him? Perhaps.
He sat shyly on the bed. The room wasn’t big enough for much beyond the bed, two nightstands, and dresser. There was a television above the dresser, though Upton didn’t seem like he watched much beyond the news. “What’s your place like?”
“You’ve seen my bedroom, that first time we talked,” Sloan reminded him with a faint smile.
Upton’s eyes widened and he blushed as he apparently remembered that first meeting. He swallowed and nodded. “Right, right.”
“It’s all that that. Dark, heavy furniture. Upscale masculine. Lots of blue, lots of leather. Just the one bedroom, though. One bathroom. I wanted to live in the Gayborhood, but it’s pricey.” Sloan paused and looked around, admiring the furnishings, all chosen for their perfection, not their economy. “Guess that’s not much barrier to you. Did you decorate yourself?”
Upton peered around and nodded. “Kind of. I mean, I guess so. I picked out a bunch of things that I liked, the art I liked, the purple couch, lime green chairs.”
He looked around. “You know, I thought my mom did a lot of this, but yeah, I guess it was mine. The place was pretty empty for a while. I’ve had this bed since college. Guess it’s sort of… ridiculously small.”
“Yeah, it might be a squeeze.” Sloan walked over and joined him, sitting on the bed beside him. Then he rolled over to stretch out on one side, gazing at Upton with a little smile, feeling playful. “If we were anybody else, we’d be planning to move me in, redecorating to suit both of us, buying a new bed for a new start, bigger and lacking ancient boyfriends’ jizz in the weave. Lucky for you I don’t expect jack. I’ll bring my pillow with me after the wedding and call it a day.”
“We can redecorate.” Upton joined Sloan, stretching on his side. He rested his head on his arm. “I could do with some more masculine and leather in my life. Bigger bed, whatever from your place that you really love. The bedrooms here are pretty small. All the rooms are. What really sold me on the place was that there’s a little cubby under the stairs that made me think of Harry Potter. Ridiculous, right? But I was in a hurry, and that stuck out. And the deck...which I never use. Do you hate everything here?”
“You got this place because it reminded you of Harry Potter?” Sloan could barely process the rest. Wow. A wide grin spread over his face. “You are such a nerd, Upton! Oh my god.”
Sloan laughed helplessly, rolling onto his back to stare at the ceiling, still grinning. “Why don’t you sleep in the cubby under the stairs? Really enjoy your boy-wizard fantasy? Wait, if I move in here, can I sleep there? And maybe have a pet owl?”
“It’s not a big enough cupboard under the stairs. I was hoping to find a traumatized orphan that I could keep nice and small that could grow into that space.” Upton smirked and raised a brow. “Plot twist, you’re marrying a Muggle.”
“Oh my god, no.” Sloan rolled back onto his side, gaping in feigned horror. Then he relaxed, pulling one of the pillows down to rest his cheek on. “But really, it’s a nice place. I can’t really afford to contribute to redecorating or whatever. I know that’s probably not a big deal to you, but I don’t want to...” It was on the tip of his tongue to say “live like your kept man” but Sloan bit it back in time, remembering how sensitive Upton was about things.
Instead, he finished, quietly, “I don’t want to turn your life upside down. It’s going to be changing enough because of me.”
“You can bring what you have in, and we can see how that works? Unless you’d rather put it in storage. I mean, I understand if you don’t want to mix your things in. I’m already eclipsing your life enough.” Upton placed his hand between them. “It’ll be a busy few weeks. You’ll have school, and apparently these wedding things take months to prepare usually.”
Upton rolled his eyes playfully as if he didn’t know anything about weddings. “We can revisit the decorating thing. I mean, it might be good to be seen shopping for furniture anyway, right? Sell the whole thing more convincingly.”
“Maybe.” Sloan didn’t know how to discuss the subject really. He’d never been in this situation.
He lapsed into silence, considering. Then he asked, “Did your mom set a date? How long do we have before...” Sloan raised his eyebrows eloquently and then smiled. “My maid of honor wants to meet you, by the way. Best woman? I don’t know what it’s called when a groom has a female stand with him.”
“That’s part of the interrogation. She’s trying to figure out how fast she can get it done. What do you think? I mean, obviously on summer break so it doesn’t interfere.” Upton eyed his hand and then pulled it back to rest against his chest. “I’d love to meet her. Maybe next weekend, or whenever. I could go to your place if you wanted to invite your friends. Or they could come here. If the press lays off, we could do something on the deck. I had stupid ideas about margarita parties back there. Brunches. Whatever. Would’ve worked out better if I ever met anyone to do brunches with. If you want to bring your friends over to do that sort of thing with….”
“I don’t...” Sloan stared at Upton’s hand for a moment, realizing belatedly that maybe Upton had intended Sloan to hold it. God, he was such a fuck up. Upton was so nice, so sweet, and Sloan just didn’t notice.
Exhaling heavily, Sloan closed his eyes and pursed his lips. When he’d ordered his thoughts, he looked into Upton’s eyes. “I only really have the one friend. Lots of classmates, but Sierra’s the only one who really... If we’d really been in love, she’s the one I’d have told, but I’m not...”
This was so hard to talk about. Sloan hated the whole thing, but what could he do? At least two powerful politicians wanted him permanently silenced, and he needed the Bennetts to protect him.
Bulling onward, Sloan said, “I’m going to keep lying to Sierra. She can’t know this isn’t real, Upton. I’d rather her believe I’m just this secretive than put her in a position to lie for me.”
“All right. I’ll make sure she believes when I meet her.” Upton took a deep breath, then he reached out with a tentative hand and stroked Sloan’s jaw line. “I can be busy for the time being, until you feel better about maintaining the lie for her. It might be too raw right now. We’ve rushed into so much, I don’t want to rush you into meeting your friends. Or friend.”
Upton gave him a wan smile. “We’re a team. You tell me when you’re uncomfortable, and I’ll try to fix it as much as I can. Some things I can’t. Some things you may not want me to. Just let me know when I’m stepping on your toes.”
“You’re a good one, Upton.” Sloan leaned in slowly, heart pounding as he watched Upton for a signal he should back off. Then he brushed his lips gentl
y across Upton’s before pulling away again, returning to his side of the bed. “Thanks.”
Upton blushed and then smiled. It wasn’t one of those million-watt ones that he flashed on television, but a real one. The more time Sloan spent with him, the more he realized that Upton only smiled like that on TV. He had a sweet smile on his own, a little lopsided, and his eyes lit up. The Upton on television was quite different than the one here on the bed.
“When you’re in the public eye, sometimes you just have to make room for yourself, things that are just for you. That’s the only way that I keep sane. Think about what’s yours, and what you can keep doing that you did before, like volunteering.” Upton placed his hand between them again. “If your arrangement doesn’t work, we can find you another one. When I was in school, I took calls for a crisis center. People didn’t know who they were talking to. It was a lot, but it was also nice to feel connected and that I was making a difference.”
This time Sloan took the cue, trying to mentally adjust to the bizarre couple-ness of it. He rested his hand over Upton’s and squeezed gently. “I’ll keep that in mind. Think I’m gonna try to keep doing what I’ve been doing all along, but...” He laughed humorlessly, embarrassed. “I’ll have a lot more free time now I’ve quit my job. Guess maybe I’ll spend more time working out?”
“If you want to. You’re welcome to take a more active role in the wedding or… you could intern. Be an aide. If you’re interested in fixing, Mom might let you intern with the team. Would probably be more research than active work. If you want a job, I’m sure we can find something for you. Might be boring, bookish, won’t pay that well, but it’s something.” Upton turned his hand over and threaded their fingers together. “I can ask around. We can find somewhere that you can work in peace if you want that.”
“Do you...” Sloan blew out a noisy breath and then shifted his weight, wriggling a little in his discomfort with the situation. “Look, I have some savings. I can support myself for a little while yet. I’ll get a job soon, I promise, and I appreciate your help, Upton, I do. But maybe I should just lay real low for a little while.”
Sloan didn’t know how to admit to himself, let alone to Upton, that he wasn’t ready to deal with the fallout of people knowing he’d been a sex worker. It was one thing to be unashamed of it. It was another to deal with people actively judging him for it in a workplace. He’d expected to have a few years to prepare for that, to make the choice himself, and now.…
“Sure, whatever you want to do. If you want to spend your time working out, do it. I wanted to make sure you knew that you had options. If you decide you want to take crisis calls, you can do that from the privacy of the condo. Or wherever you’re comfortable. Don’t worry about money, all right? Whatever needs covering, we’ll deal with it.” Upton gazed at him sweetly. “I know you want to do things on your own. I want you to. Whenever you’re ready. I’ll support you.”
There was a knock at the door, and Keith ducked his head in. He frowned but shrugged, like he didn’t know what to think of them on the bed. “Candice is ready for you.”
Upton nodded and helped Sloan up. “Coast is clear.”
He wrapped his arm around Sloan as they came back down the stairs, a couple.
“So, Mom, what do you have planned for us?” Upton smiled. He detached from Sloan to hug her again, and then she gestured he sit on the lavender couch.
“We’re going to try marrying you in June. We debated a destination wedding, or we can have it in the back yard. No church; don’t want to start that argument. So, destination? Not Vegas, but maybe Hawaii, or Italy? France is romantic.” Candice sat back and studied them.
Sloan sank onto the couch beside Upton, trying to catch up to this new information while their upstairs conversation still whirled through his head.
“I’ve never really traveled,” Sloan admitted quietly, looking from Upton to Candice. Sure, he’d traveled to Cleveland, Chicago, Boston, seeing clients further afield who wanted to pay for a few days at once. But this was not something he’d ever imagined would be part of his life.
Flushed with embarrassment, he looked at Upton, as if he’d find reassurance there. “I’ve always wanted to visit Italy. Italian’s one of my languages.”
“One of?” Upton raised his brows. “Meaning you speak it?”
Keith stood behind Candice with his lip curled. “Or do you mean it’s a language you want to speak?”
Upton tilted his head at Keith, brows drawn together, then turned his attention back on Sloan.
Sloan gave Keith a slow once-over. What the hell was his problem? Then he looked back at Upton. “I speak a few. Italian, Spanish, French. I’m learning Korean now, which is a big departure but really fun.”
He shrugged and looked at Candice and Keith before directing his gaze at Upton again. “Usually I practice online, speaking to native speakers on Skype. They want to practice English, and I want to practice my languages, so we take turns conversing, but actually going to Italy would be so much cooler.”
“You are full of surprises.” Candice smiled and eyed Upton. “Italy, then?”
“Italy in June. Did you have a passport already? I think you said something about studying abroad before.” Upton bumped his shoulder against Sloan’s. “I’m marrying a polyglot. If this all works out, maybe I can appoint you an ambassadorship somewhere.”
“Yeah, I got a passport a couple months ago, just to be ready for my semester abroad.” Sloan could hardly believe this was happening. He leaned in and kissed Upton’s cheek in excitement and then sat back and beamed. “Italy then, and someday President Bennett can engage in some nepotism.”
Maybe Upton was just teasing, but how amazing would it be to become an ambassador? Some of the dread around the wedding fell away, replaced by enthusiasm. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to be yoked to Upton. He was really cute, and nice, and there were worse fates than being his future ex-husband.
“Sounds like we’re in consensus, then. Keith, make a note to call George, see if we can’t use his place.” Candice winked at Sloan.
Keith rolled his eyes but typed something into his phone. “Didn’t think he was taking your calls after last time.”
She smirked and reached back to swat Keith. “Hush. So, destination wedding, then. That will help keep the guest list contained.” Candice leaned in and gave Sloan a serious look. “Is there anyone you want to invite to Italy, Sloan? Also, how fluent are you? We could see about building up reasons for you to use your language in front of the press.”
Grinning and feeling more at ease, Sloan answered in Italian first and then repeated in English. “I speak it a few times a week, so pretty fluent. And I need to bring my best friend Sierra with me. She’ll stand with me at the wedding. I don’t have any other guests I really want there, although we might consider inviting professors Upton and I have in common.”
Just having Candice focus on him like that, like she was seeing Sloan as more than a sex worker who’d doomed her son, made all the difference. Sloan wanted so badly to make this worth the sacrifices, to be the person they were trying to shape him into, at least on the surface.
And maybe, deep down, he wanted a mom to like him, even if she wasn’t his.
“She’s another student.” Upton rested his arm along the back of the sofa. “I’m going to meet her soon.”
Candice nodded and smiled. “Who’s going to stand for you, Upton?”
“Do you think Winston would?”
“Winnie? Oh, I haven’t thought about him in years.” Candice sat back; she didn’t look entirely happy.
“He wrote my recommendation to graduate school.” There was an odd pleading tone in Upton’s voice.
“Surely there’s someone closer to your own age. What about Keith?”
Upton sighed, and Keith didn’t look any happier about that suggestion. “This is not a plus one situation. It’s weird having your mom’s employee as your groomsman.”
“Any weirder than having
your father’s best friend?” Candice sat straighter and adjusted the hem of her skirt. “We’ll talk about this later.”
That got awkward quickly. Sloan studied each face, taking in the tension humming through the others. That Keith had been Upton’s plus-one in the past made sense; no wonder he’d given Sloan the stink-eye for lounging in bed with him.
Had he expected things to go somewhere someday? Even if he hadn’t, he couldn’t be happy about the situation.
As for Winston—apparently Alistair Bennett’s best friend—what was wrong with having him stand up for Upton if he really wanted?
But how weird was it that Upton didn’t have friends his own age to stand with him? Not a single old college buddy?
He’d always thought Upton seemed lonely, but that was eye-opening. Sloan always thought of himself as the most pitiful kind of lonely guy, but even he had Sierra. Maybe he didn’t spend much time with her, but he had her. She was invested in him.
Of course, Upton had an entire nation invested in him. What must that be like? Pressure, probably. So much pressure. And even more isolation than Sloan felt when he had to keep secrets from Sierra.
Sloan shifted closer to Upton across the couch and dropped his arm around Upton’s shoulders, drawing him close. He kissed Upton’s temple and then rested their heads together as he looked at Candice and Keith. “This is going to be difficult enough for him. If having someone comforting there will help him get through it...” Sloan smiled faintly. “Let’s just consider it.”
Then he turned his face to look into Upton’s eyes and leaned back a tiny bit. “If I’m going to be your husband, I have to start practicing having your back, right? That’s how that works?”
Upton melted against Sloan and slid an arm around him. He beamed, more naturally than that wide smile he put on for the camera, much more radiant. That smile was beautiful; it changed his whole face. “That is how it works. Thank you, fiancé.”
He smirked and squeezed Sloan in a side-hug.
Candice narrowed her eyes at them, but her lips curled up as she shook her head. “What about Professor Wylie? He knows you both.” She paused at Upton’s impatient huff. “Have you spoken to Winnie lately?”