by Clancy Nacht
“Not a bad way to kick off a week of luxury, hm?” Sloan sighed, sounding blissful and spent, and hugged Upton against his broad chest. “Next time I’ll be a little more inventive. You just felt too good to draw things out.” He purred his approval and nibbled at the bruises on Upton’s throat, reminding him anew of all the marks left on his skin. “You want a next time, don’t you?”
“Yes, I do.” Upton wrapped his arms around Sloan and smiled. “I was a little worried that you wouldn’t want me.”
He traced the spots on his body that were still sore, where there were likely teeth marks he couldn’t see or feel except by virtue of the pain of bruising. “Taking advantage of being able to mark me up, hm? That was… and you aren’t required to be more inventive or anything you don’t want to be. You felt amazing.”
“But I want…” Sloan lifted his head to gaze into Upton’s eyes, his own still black with his blown pupils, irises sparkling almost gold around them. “I want to… I don’t know. Am I crazy to want to take whatever I can from this? To… build on…” He frowned and chewed his kiss-swollen lips. “You aren’t Elton, and I know that, honey, but… Zane was part of me, and that part really wants to… This could be amazing, maybe. Even if there’s not the kind of love they write songs about, there could be teamwork, and loyalty, and mindblowing kinky sex. And if we can have that, I want it.”
Upton looked down, cheeks hot. “I wasn’t very good at separating Elton and myself anyway. I mean, I tried. It was just all pretty new to me. I thought that… I mean, I didn’t want you to feel like that’s why I agreed to marry you. Outside of saving your life. I had just given up on...I mean, I thought that it was the right thing to do to give up on learning more about that side of myself. But if you’re willing and interested... “
He turned his head and kissed Sloan tenderly. His stomach fluttered as he traced Sloan’s nape. “That would be amazing for me.”
“As long as it’s…” Sloan searched Upton’s face. “As long as it’s for both of us. What we did at the hotels… That was for you. It was focused on what you wanted to explore, and you were in charge, and I was just…facilitating your desires. If you understand that this is going to be about meeting my needs too, then… I’d like to see where we can take this.”
Sloan stroked Upton’s skin in long, slow loops, over his shoulder and down his spine, caressing his ass and swooping back up, trailing drops of water that cooled in the sea breeze. “You’re sexy, Upton. You’re a good man. And you’re my husband for at least the next few years. It seems like it would be win/win if you want this too, if you’re willing to take on board my needs in return for me honoring yours.”
“As long as we can go slow if it gets too…” Upton traced Sloan’s brows, gazing at him, feeling a slight dread that there was a fixed end date to their relationship. But that was so far away. “I don’t need to be in charge, as long as I can say no if things are... “
Upton looked up at the clear blue sky. “I haven’t had a lot of sex, kinky or otherwise, beyond the basic. I wasn’t really sure what to do with being in charge. What… What were you thinking? What are you into?”
Sloan gave Upton a wry look that didn’t quite hide the sadness in his gaze. “Most of my experience with it happened incidentally, learning what I liked by giving other people what they wanted. I’ve never really…been in a committed relationship like this, where I could explore my own desires. But I do know that exploration is what I want, what I crave. I want to…test your boundaries, discover what makes you tick, what gets a rise out of you. I love when you get so embarrassed and do what I tell you anyway.”
Smiling faintly, Sloan tipped up his face to claim another kiss, nipping at Upton’s lower lip playfully. “I like making you beg. I’d love to make you wait to come, make you beg and do dirty things before I let you get off. Cover you with marks beneath your thousand-dollar suits so you’re on the floor of the House black and blue in secret.”
He grinned wider and cradled Upton’s face in one broad palm. “I wanna take you apart and put you back together again in all the best ways. Fill you up with me or toys or whatever and watch you squirm and blush and come because you can’t even help it. Show you what a dirty boy you could be for me.”
He paused, that dirty smile still curving his lips and crinkling his eyes, and then asked, “You game, honey?”
Upton was so hot that he was pretty sure the water was cold in comparison. He bit his lip, sure that if his body could manage it, he’d get hard again. “Sounds like we’re on the same page.”
Kissing Sloan again, Upton pressed his hand over Sloan’s heart. “I’m excited to explore and learn about each other and ourselves. Not happy about the circumstances—how could we be?—but it seems as if this could be good for both of us. I like when you take charge and make me beg, as embarrassed as I may get.”
Toys. Upton did really enjoy that toy, but thinking about it made him shy and blushy. “So, uh, these marks, they going on Instagram, too?”
“Oh yeah.” Sloan grinned broad and filthy, looking so pleased with himself Upton had to laugh. Sloan leaned in for another kiss and then stroked Upton’s cheek with his fingertips, following the line of his jaw. “The stubble burn too. Your poor sweet face is all red. You blushing, or did we forget the sunscreen?” Sloan nuzzled him and budged Upton off his lap. “You need some SPF, sugar, and then it’s time for a photoshoot. World won’t know what hit ‘em.”
Upton ducked his head and laughed. “I am blushing.”
Sloan laughed too as he rose from the Jacuzzi and rifled through that huge stack of towels, spreading some of them out on the deck to one side of the tub, making a comfortable looking little nest. Then he produced a bottle of sunscreen and waggled it at Upton. “I promise not to get your cute little ass in any of the shots, but if you don’t sunbathe on your French Riviera honeymoon, what is your life really? C’mon up here and let me rub you down, my porcelain doll.”
Upton took a deep breath, controlling his innate shyness when it came to his body. Definitely blushing. He thought he’d gotten a little color from the jogging he’d been doing, but compared to Sloan, he was very much a porcelain doll.
Peering around as if the press would swoop in out of nowhere, Upton stepped from the tub and into the nest Sloan had created. He lay down on his stomach and stretched out. “Definitely not a view my constituents are used to. But I guess if the scandal has done nothing else, it’s making people face the fact that I’m a real gay man who has sex. And who married a vampire… or a wendigo.” Upton looked over his shoulder at Sloan and grinned.
“Well, they certainly think I’m some kind of bloodsucking, flesh-devouring monster anyway. All the bruises will merely serve their confirmation biases.” Sloan smirked at Upton and crouched beside him on the towels, picking one up to dry him thoroughly.
Upton blushed harder at the way Sloan touched him so casually, sliding the soft terry cloth between Upton’s thighs and ass cheeks, drying every nook and crevice. Then he started rubbing the lotion into Upton’s skin, massaging it in and leaving Upton to bask in the attention. Upton exhaled and relaxed into the touches, more than pampered.
“Is that what they think? I’ve tried to stay away from the media and the opinions. I know the truth, I know that even when we were…in a different situation together, you were incredibly giving. I know it was what it was, but it did mean a lot to me.”
That was probably an awkward confession. Upton wasn’t sure what to say. “I guess I like seeing another physical manifestation of the mark you’re leaving on me. Whatever anyone else thinks about who and what we are, these things are ours. We only have to share what we’re willing to.”
“If I’ve ever seemed…distant, Upton, it’s…” Sloan paused in his massage, his hands flexing against Upton’s shoulders and going still. “I know I’m a giving person. Perhaps too much so. When I’m…wary, or perhaps too aware of your power or your wealth or… It’s not personal. It’s that I’ve been draine
d dry, siphoned of my energy and my will, and… I have at times given too much to the wrong people without realizing it.”
Then he resumed stroking Upton’s back, his hands certain and gentle, his voice matching them. “As I know you more, I relax into this new role. I…push at its boundaries and see what it means. When you give me room to do that, I can trust you better and…maybe I’ve decided it’s okay to give you more than I thought I could.”
Upton felt a little glow in his chest that he was pretty sure had nothing to do with the contact, or the sea air, or the sun kissing his skin. He felt that small piece of Sloan, one Upton wanted to protect and keep safe. He rolled enough onto his side that he could look at Sloan. “I appreciate that, Sloan. This is all new to me. I— My only intent is to protect you with that wealth and power, but I understand how it’s suspicious. I can’t… pretend I don’t have walls up. I want to give back; it’s okay to ask me to. Or to tell me to.”
He bit his lip, then sat up enough to give Sloan a clumsy kiss on the corner of his mouth. “I liked the biting. It made me a little nervous, but I like it.”
“Wendigo husbands are gonna be the hot new thing. You’re a trendsetter. Just wait.” Sloan smiled, and for whatever reason, it had to be the most unguarded Upton had seen him. He looked young, and happy, and devastatingly handsome. And he was Upton’s now, for as long as this lasted.
Really his, and not just in name only.
Then Sloan gave Upton a little shove back to the towels and reached for his phone. He stood and aimed the camera at Upton, grinning broadly, and then snorted. “Uh, not gonna…”
Sloan knelt quickly, picked up the discarded condom with a chuckle, and tossed it out of the shot. Then, clearing his throat, he straightened and lined up his shot again. “Now then, Mr. Bennett. Say ‘cheese’.”
Upton wrinkled his nose at the condom and grinned back at Sloan, not his giant media smile, but his slightly dopey one that was only for friends and family. And, apparently, for Instagram. He leaned into the shot and sighed happily.
Chapter 11
The week went by faster than Sloan anticipated, and he got far more comfortable with Upton than he’d ever imagined possible. Most nights, as they fell asleep spooned together, it was easy to forget that this was all a matter of convenience, of safety, of respectability.
Sometimes it felt so real.
Sloan experimented with Upton every chance he got, though some of his desires would have to wait until they were back in D.C. and he had access to his toys. Upton never completely lost his shyness or modesty, but the way he pushed through it likewise never lost its appeal. Sloan loved baiting him, challenging him, and watching Upton blush bodily as he lived up to whatever bar Sloan set.
It was thrilling, and intimate, and far more satisfying than his profession had been. It felt nothing like a job, and as much as Sloan had enjoyed his work, as proud as he’d been of his skills, getting a new beginning excited him too.
If he weren’t so dependent on his new husband, if he trusted him more, it might be damn close to perfect.
The response to their Instagram posts suggested it looked perfect from the outside. Every one of their honeymoon snaps had thousands of likes and comments ranging from “aww” to obscene suggestions of what the commenter would do to get in a sandwich with them. It apparently drove down paparazzi demand for their photos, though, because not a single photographer manifested in their vicinity and the yacht was left in peace.
The “reputable” news media was less sanguine about their union, however. No one outright suggested their marriage was fake—it would be a difficult sell, considering the photographic evidence and several well-placed guests’ social media posts about how in love the couple seemed at their reception. Still, commentators from the right weren’t yet tired of speculating on the pernicious nature of queerness and how gay men couldn’t control their drives, even at the expense of their careers and constituents. Left-wing commentators focused instead on how easy it would have been for Upton to choose a better pedigreed spouse and how much rehabilitation his reputation now needed to keep him competitive in his district.
Whatever Upton said to the contrary, this was Sloan’s fault. He’d led the reporter to Upton’s door. He’d made a bad call, done something unforgivably foolish, and endangered a good man’s promising career, destroying his own in the process.
It was easy to smile when Upton was looking at him, easy to get lost in the pleasures on offer. But when Sloan was alone with his thoughts for long, guilt and frustration crept back in.
Whatever relief he gave to Upton in preventing their marriage from being a sexless sham, Sloan doubted this could ever be more than it was. Not when he’d endangered Upton the way he had. Not when Upton had to marry Sloan to save him from the sharks he’d been swimming with.
God, it was all such a mess.
A beautiful mess, but a mess just the same.
“Hey, honey,” Sloan greeted Upton as he returned from a masseur rub-down.
Sloan lay on a lounge chair on the deck overlooking the Mediterranean, admiring the perfect blue water with a tablet grasped loosely in one hand where he’d tired of reading the news. He set it aside and scooted over, making room for his husband to join him on his chair rather than sit in the other.
As awkwardly as they’d begun, after a week of practicing breath control and orgasm denial—among other delights—Sloan didn’t think twice about inviting Upton into his personal space.
Upton looked hazy and happy. He smelled of lavender from the massage oil and his skin glistened around his tiny swim shorts. He’d finally gotten comfortable walking around mostly naked, which Sloan counted a personal victory.
Dropping into the spot next to Sloan, Upton leaned in for a kiss as he gestured to the tablet. “Tell me you weren’t depressing yourself with whatever those bozos are saying.”
Sloan just stared at Upton, marveling at the changes in his body and attitude.
Upton raised a brow and smirked. “I think I got my answer. But hey, no dick pics, so there’s that.”
“Don’t tease me. It’s not my fault your body’s massively distracting. I was contemplating whether you’re more of a ‘golden ivory’ or a ‘lightest tan’ now. These are details I’m ninety percent sure a man’s expected to know about his husband.” Sloan grinned and ran his hands over Upton greedily, shifting his weight to help Upton settle in closer against him. “Anyway, let’s not talk about how the universe thinks I’m the worst thing to ever happen to you. Let’s talk about how we’re going to spend the last day of our honeymoon.”
“The universe might be worried about my poor little ass getting the workout of its life.” Upton traced Sloan’s nipple and smiled. His cheeks bore a faint blush. “The sort of which I’ve always wanted, so the universe can go kick rocks.”
Sure, he said that now, but how was he going to feel once they were on land, surrounded by others? The gossip was still hard to read, though, and Upton had been avoiding it. Then again, Upton had seemed always steadfast in his dedication to their marriage.
Upton pressed his finger to Sloan’s lips. “We should do something wonderfully decadent together. Did you have something in mind? Something you’ve been wanting to do?”
The way Upton gazed at Sloan—as if he’d hung the moon—made Sloan feel powerful, as if he really could ask Upton to do anything in the world and Upton would do it.
“Wonderfully decadent, hm?” Sloan already knew what he wanted, what he’d been fantasizing about from the start. Complete control. His beautiful, refined, modest husband at his mercy. “I’ve been saving most of my ideas for when we get home, when the setting and supplies are ready at hand. But if you want to do something to remember...”
Sloan traced his fingertip over the bow of Upton’s upper lip and gazed into his eyes. “What if I tie you up and see how wild I can drive you before you’re begging to come for me?”
“Oh.” Upton blushed and bit his bottom lip. “Goodness.”
“Can you tie me up slowly? Make sure that I don’t… I mean, no one’s ever… Would you blindfold me?”
Sloan raised an eyebrow and leaned in for a gentle kiss. Then he settled back and gave Upton a questioning look. “Would you like to be blindfolded? I was going to save that, but if you’re game...”
“I’m not sure. I might.” Upton slipped his arms around Sloan and hugged him tight, a gesture Sloan found endearing, particularly since it seemed to signify Upton’s nervousness. Rather than push Sloan away, Upton pulled Sloan close and hid his face against Sloan’s neck. “Show me what you want. Surprise me. I’m yours to do with as you want. This is just for you.” Upton stroked Sloan’s lower back and pressed kisses against his neck.
“Mm, I love that.” Sloan relaxed against Upton, moving into his touches and relishing being center of attention, like he was the one whose wants counted. He rocked his hips forward to grind against Upton, sighing in bliss as his cock hardened from the friction and his anticipation. Upton’s shorts stretched to contain his erection. Upton’s shorts stretched to contain his erection.
Sloan forced himself away and to his feet and then held out a hand to Upton, beckoning with quick flicks of his fingers. “I’d carry you, but you’re still all slick from that massage. C’mon then. Let us go forth into our den of iniquity.”
The staff dispersed, quickly clearing a path to the room. There was something heady about them knowing what Sloan was going to do to Upton.