Lost

  It was simply a perfect moment.

  Chapter 68

  He watched her run out of the house with the little girls holding her hands. They put stuff by the table, and the girls took off. A second later, she ran past them. Her long legs ate up the ground, and then she was flying through the air to splash in the water. The girls jumped in after her, and a few minutes later, he saw eight of them all in the water. He could hear their laughter.

  Images were running through his mind, like a movie on fast forward. He saw the kids playing in the water, he got glimpses of her running next to him, holding his hand as they walked. Mundane things, things that spoke to a good life. A happy life—one he had been a part of.

  One he wanted again.

  Chapter 69

  “You want a silver bullet?” Mark Ranger owned a gun shop, and Ethan had been getting supplies from him for years. “Are you joking?”

  “First of all, I don’t want one bullet. I want at least 12. Second, yes, I’m serious. Do I look like I’m joking?” Ethan leaned forward just a bit so that Mark could see his eyes.

  Whether it was the tone of Ethan’s voice or the look on his face, Mark kept his mouth shut. He thought for a minute.

  “Yeah. Alright. I think I can do it. Want to tell me why you need them?” Mark asked.

  “No.”

  Chapter 70

  We had a great afternoon. Dinner was low key. We just warmed up the chicken and took it outside. The boys had built a fire pit a few summers ago, and they had put small benches around it. We ate out by the pit, and we were watching Sam trying to build a fire.

  “I think you’re doing it wrong,” Ant told him.

  “You want to do it smart ass?” Sam looked up, and Ant just held up his hands and laughed.

  After a few minutes Sam had a roaring fire going, and he smirked at the younger boys. The girls had already found sticks so we could do s’mores, and I was opening up the graham crackers.

  Karie had brought her iPod dock, and we had the window open so we could hear the music. We sang along and told bad jokes. Jimmy and Ant asked Carey about some of the teachers they were going to have once school started, and the girls told Karie all about their new school clothes, while she braided their hair.

  And me? I just sat there and took it all in.

  None of us knew that the next day would bring hell right to our door.

  * * *

  I woke up early the next morning. I was going to run over to Costco to get some things we forgot. I wanted to make sure I got some freezer pops. The kids always liked those, and they were cheap. I had ordered some deli platters and two large cakes as well, so I needed to get those. The fridge and freezer were working like champs, so we had plenty of storage space.

  I crept into the boys’ room after I showered and dressed and tapped Sam on the shoulder.

  “I’m going to run to Costco to get the cakes. Watch them, okay?”

  He gave me a drowsy nod and stretched. “You don’t need any help?”

  “No, I’m good. I think we got everything. I’ll be back in about an hour or so. Eat what you can find.”

  I crept back to the door and looked back at my boys. I smiled and shut the door quietly.

  Chapter 71

  He saw her come out of the house. The sun was up. He guessed it was maybe 9:30. She was alone.

  He watched her drive away, but decided to stay with the children.

  Then the air shifted around him. He felt it. He took a deep breath and readied himself.

  The Woman was coming.

  Chapter 72

  “What did Mark say when you asked for silver bullets?” Walter chuckled, already picturing it.

  “He looked at me like I was an idiot, but he came through,” Ethan said into his phone. “You know you don’t have to do this, Walt. You have Cindy.”

  “And you have Nathan. It’s done. I’ll call you later.” Walter hung up.

  He looked over at Cindy. They’d been together almost 30 years. They were high school sweethearts, but he was pretty sure he fell in love the first time he saw her—they were both in eighth grade. Here she was at 44 years old, and she still took his breath away. She was still the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.

  “Hey, Cin?” He called to her. She was in the kitchen doing the dishes. If he was home, he always made her breakfast, and she cleaned up the kitchen. After so many years, they had it down pat.

  “Yeah?” She answered, not looking up from the pot she was scrubbing.

  He walked into the kitchen and looked at her. She had her back to him. She was a tiny woman, only 5’2”—about a foot shorter than Walt. Her thick brown hair was still shiny, while his was mostly gray. Every time he looked at her, he asked himself what the hell he had done to get her to agree to be his wife. He walked over to her and reached around, taking the sponge from her. He spun her around and picked her up, putting her on the counter next to the sink.

  She laughed and wound her arms around his neck. “What’s gotten into you, mister?”

  He smiled at her, and he hoped she didn’t notice that the smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Nothing. Just love my wife.”

  And he showed her exactly how much he loved her, and he prayed that it wouldn’t be the last time he held her in his arms.

  * * *

  “Hi, Ethan. How’s it going?” Melissa, his ex-wife, answered the door.

  “Good, good. Hey. Thanks for letting me stop by,” Ethan said, awkwardly coming into the foyer when Melissa motioned him in.

  “No problem! Nathan was thrilled! Some of his friends are out of town, so he’s been bored,” she told him, and then called up the stairs. “Nat, your dad’s here!”

  They heard a crash and smiled at each other. Their son could be a bit clumsy. He came running down the stairs, and Ethan prayed he didn’t fall.

  “What was that?” His mother asked.

  “Nothing,” Nathan replied.

  “Really?” Melissa pushed.

  “I tripped over my baseball bag. It’s cool.” Nathan looked like a younger version of his father. He was only 14, but he was big for his age. He was all arms and legs, but he was growing into his height. His hair was a bit too long for Ethan, but he knew that was the style now.

  “Hey, Dad!” He gave his father a hug, and Ethan closed his eyes, enjoying it.

  Melissa caught Ethan’s expression and tilted her head, giving him a look. He just smiled at her and opened the front door.

  “I’ll have him home before dinner,” he told his ex-wife.

  “No problem. You guys have fun.”

  Ethan suddenly felt a rush of sorrow, and he stepped back up to the front door.

  “Lissa?” He hadn’t called her that in years, not since well before their divorce.

  She looked at him. “Yeah?”

  He felt at a loss, but he stepped forward and gave her a hug. “Thank you.”

  She laughed and hugged him back. “For what?”

  “For not being a bitch of an ex. And letting me see Nathan as much as you do. For just… you know… For not holding it against me.”

  She knew what he meant. He had loved her, dearly, but he also loved his job, and he understood why she left. And though she had cried and been upset when he agreed to the divorce, she got over it—quicker than many woman in her shoes would have. She had moved on and found someone that could make her happy, and she had truly hoped he would do the same. And though he hadn’t, he was at peace.

  “Are you okay, Ethan? Is everything alright?” She was concerned.

  He released her and stepped back, suddenly embarrassed. “No, no. I’m good. Just been doing some thinking, ya know?”

  She gave him another look, but eventually nodded and accepted his answer. “You know I’m here. I still care about you.”

  Oh, how he hated those words. And yet he knew she meant them. She didn’t love him anymore, but they still had a bond, and that meant something to her.

  “I’m good. We’ll s
ee you later.” And he walked away, leaving her to stare after him.

  * * *

  “What’s going on, Dad?” Nathan was a smart kid, and he asked his dad when they were seated in the back of Flo’s Diner.

  “What do you mean?” Ethan avoided his son’s gaze.

  “Aren’t you on the night shift? You should be resting. But you pick me up on a Friday, hugging mom. What’s the deal?”

  Ethan put down the menu and looked at his son, really taking him in. He was a good kid. He was kind, smart, and funny, but Ethan couldn’t tell him what was really going on.

  “Hi there. What can I get ya?” They were interrupted by a young man with a notepad.

  “Umm… can I get the Full Stack, a side of bacon, and hash browns. And coffee. Black,” Ethan said, handing him the menu.

  “Sure. You?” He pointed his pencil at Nathan.

  “Two sticky buns, some scrambled eggs, and a large orange juice,” Nathan told him.

  They went there almost every Sunday, and every Sunday they ordered the same thing. It was their thing.

  Once the waiter was gone, Nathan turned back to his Dad. “Well?”

  Ethan gave a laugh. “Nothing’s going on. I just wanted to see my son.”

  Nathan snorted and looked at his dad.

  Ethan met his gaze. “Look, son. I love you. You know that, right?”

  “Of course.”

  Ethan continued, “I want you to be a good man. I want you to grow up and know that doing what’s right isn’t always easy. Hell, sometimes it’s fucking scary.”

  He never censored himself with his son, and the crude language didn’t take Nathan aback.

  “I know, Dad. Look, are you alright? You aren’t sick or something, are you?”

  Melissa’s father had just fought a lengthy battle with lung cancer. He was doing okay, for now, but it had been an ugly fight, and Nathan had been there for all of it.

  “No, no. I’m fine. Getting old, but I’m fine. I just… well… I don’t think I tell you enough, that I’m proud of you. School, baseball, that kind of thing. But, you’re growing up too fast, and I want you to start thinking of your future… okay? Be a good man. A strong man. Help Carl take care of your mom.”

  Nathan, like his mom, was perceptive, and he knew that something was going on, but he chose to respect Ethan’s privacy and didn’t push for more than Ethan felt he could give him.

  “Dad, I know,” he said gently.

  “Yeah… no. I know you know. I just… If I’m not around, just remember that I love you.”

  That was the closest he would get to telling his son that he might die.

  Chapter 73

  The cakes were ready when I got to Costco, and I put them gently in the cart I was wheeling around. I grabbed some ice pops—300 to a box, so I picked up two and put them under the cart. The deli platters were resting on top of the cakes, and I walked toward the registers.

  They had roses for sale, beautiful lavender ones, and I couldn’t resist. I went over and picked up a bunch, inhaling deeply and letting the memories take me back. Whenever I went to Costco, I would drag Brian along. We always had at least one of the kids with us, and he would give them a 20 to buy me some flowers. They always picked the lavender roses. I loved the soft purple color and the sweet smell.

  I laid them in the cart and decided to get another bouquet. They would fill the house with their scent, and I loved that idea.

  After paying I wheeled the cart out and loaded up the van. It was a beautiful day—nice day for a carnival if you’re into that kind of thing. I know the younger kids were excited, and I reminded myself to stop at the bank to get some cash for them. I started up the van and pulled out of the parking lot. The bank was just up the road.

  After a moment’s drive, I pulled into the drive-through ATM.

  I dug my wallet out and got my ATM card out. I figured 100 dollars should be plenty.

  Better be plenty!

  Once I got my cash, I stuck it in my pocket and set off for home.

  * * *

  I opened the door to chaos. The girls were yelling at Carey, and Sam was trying to get them to quiet down.

  “Enough!” I said, only raising my voice slightly.

  To their credit, they all shut up and looked at me.

  “What’s going on?” I asked them.

  And boom, they all started talking at once. I held up my hand, and once again, quiet.

  “Carey?” I asked.

  “They’re being brats. I told them if they didn’t stop bugging me, I wouldn’t take them swimming.”

  “Sounds fair. Girls?”

  “No way, Mom. He said we were little shits!” Jessie told me.

  Maggie nodded. “He did! So we said we were going to tell you, and he said if we did, he wouldn’t take us swimming.”

  I turned to Carey. “True?”

  “I might have called them that, but only because that’s how they were acting,” Carey said in his defense.

  “Girls, you are not little shits. Carey, watch your mouth. Done?”

  The girls looked down at their hands. “Yes, ma’am.”

  “Carey?” My voice held a warning.

  “Yes, ma’am. Done,” Carey said, a tad sheepish.

  Sam let out a breath and gave me a look. “Sorry. Things got loud really quickly.”

  I shrugged it off. “Just part of the fun. Where’s everyone else?”

  “Jimmy and Ant are out back. I think Jimmy dug out the old fishing poles. Karie’s in the shower. Everyone ate, and I just loaded up the dishwasher.”

  I nodded. “Carey, run out and get the deli platters. They need to go in the fridge. I put the cakes in the fridge already, so they’re fine where they are. Sam, go grab the box of freezer pops. Let’s open them and put them in the freezer. If we leave them in the box, they take too long to freeze.”

  I barked out orders and made a mental list of what I still needed to do.

  Cut up the cabbage for coleslaw and mix up the vinaigrette. We had tons of old beach towels, so I wanted to get those down. Needed to wash the ones from the day before, but I decided I’d just hang them outside on the line. I had some old folding tables in the garage, so the kids and I could just set those up for the food. We had some chairs as well, and I would have to get those out and hose them down.

  “What can I do to help?” Karie came into the kitchen. I smiled at her. She was so much like her parents.

  “Well, we have tables in the garage that need to come out, and chairs in there somewhere. We probably need to hose them down. I won’t bother cutting up the cabbage until tonight, that’s easy stuff.”

  She nodded and ran to get her sneakers. The girls were still sitting at the table, looking at magazines.

  “You guys help me out for an hour or two, and then we can go swimming again. Okay?” I asked them.

  “Sorry, Mommy,” Maggie said, actually looking contrite.

  “Mommy, he started it!” Jessie, didn’t look quite as sorry, but both girls hated it when I was annoyed at them.

  I sat down at the table. “You know what? I don’t want to hear it, okay? He’s your older brother. Sometimes he’s going to be a jerk. And sometimes, you guys really do act like little brats. So let’s let it go, move on, and do what we gotta do. Got it?” I put my hand on Maggie’s shoulder, and my other hand reached out to Jessie, who grasped it.

  They both nodded, and I told them to run and grab their Crocs. I could hear the kids in the garage, and looking up, I saw that Karie and Jimmy already had two of the tables set up. Ant was coming over with the hose, and Carey and Sam each carried out another table.

  This party is going to be a breeze.

  Chapter 74

  “Walter, I don’t know what’s gotten into you! But I like it!” Cindy reached over and took her husband’s hand.

  For almost three years, his wife had hinted that she would love a pair of diamond earrings. The ones he could afford were tiny, and his wife deserved more. Walter d
idn’t like to think of himself as cheap. He was frugal, careful with his money. If something happened to him, he didn’t want his wife saddled with debt. But now—

  He shook the thought out of his head, and watched his wife admire herself in the store window. He’d made love to his wife right there in their kitchen. He kissed her like her love could sustain him, and then he’d told her to get cleaned up. He had a surprise for her.

  When he drove into Miller’s Crossing and parked, she’d just looked at him. He hated shopping, but he was a man on a mission. He went right into the jewelry store and picked out a pair of two carat diamond earrings. Each stud was one beautiful, flawless carat. Cindy had just stared at him, but he took out his “emergency” credit card, handed it to the clerk, took the tiny beribboned bag she handed him and gave it to his wife.

  “I should have bought these for you a long time ago,” he told her.

  She wordlessly took the bag and tore through the tissue paper. She lifted out the small box and opened it up. She inhaled deeply and brought her hand to her mouth.

  “Oh, Walt. They’re beautiful.” She asked him to hold the bag, and she put them on right there as they stood on the sidewalk.

  They aren’t half as beautiful as you, Walt thought to himself. And they weren’t.

  His wife was a fourth grade teacher, and she loved to regale him with stories of her students. They would laugh over their tiny dining room table, each one silently sad that they didn’t have children of their own to share the laughter with. Over the years, they’d talked about adoption, but for some reason, they’d just never pursued it. Now, more than anything, Walt wished Cindy had someone. He wished that he could have given her a piece of himself, so if something happened to him, she wouldn’t be alone. They were still young enough to adopt from some other countries. If he came home, maybe he would ask her if she wanted to pursue it.