“What can I get you?”
“Two cups of coffee and two cinnamon rolls, please.”
“This isn't going to work,” I told her.
“How do you know? You haven't even had a bite, yet.”
I toyed with my silverware without looking up at her. “Whatever.”
We sat in silence until the waitress appeared with our order. Molly wasted no time digging into her cinnamon roll.
“Oh, yeah. That's the thing. Eat.”
I took a bite as she commanded, and as it melted against my tongue I uttered a low moan of delight. From across the table Molly's grin outshone the lights overhead.
“See? You were the one who introduced me to these. I'm just returning the favor.”
“Thanks.”
“You know, I ate my heart out for more than a year over Quinn. He was right there in front of me at school every day—close enough to touch. I saw him in the halls, and at the pep rallies. In the cafeteria. And then there were our gaming sessions.” She paused to chew thoughtfully on another bite. “But I couldn't bring myself to do anything about it until the day I was sure that I was about to lose any possible chance I might have with him forever. So I went all out to get what I wanted more than anything else in the world, and now we're together and I'm happier than I've ever been.”
“Do all of your stories have to have a moral?”
“Only the ones with happy endings.”
“Well, not everybody gets those.”
“True. My point is that you have to work for them. All of us did, Allie. We all had to take chances, to risk our hearts. Risk being rejected. It wasn't easy for any of us—especially me.”
“So I'm a coward?”
She shook her head. “You just haven't gotten desperate enough to risk everything for your heart's desire, yet. One day you will. Just make sure it isn't too late when it happens.”
“Thanks for the pep talk. And the cinnamon roll. Can we go home now?”
Molly pursed her lips then shrugged. “Fine. I give up. But remember what I said—don't wait too long. Once that chance is gone, you'll never get it back again.”
Her words came back to haunt me far sooner than I had expected. As I was leaving my literature class Monday morning Dylan stopped me in the hall. His bright blue eyes were shadowed with pain and his mouth turned down in anger, and I took a step backwards in surprise.
“How could you do it, Allison?”
I shook my head in confusion. “What are you talking about?”
“Gail. Miranda. Kylie. I overheard Dannika and Delaney in physics. They were talking about Dani's matchmaking hobby, and Delaney mentioned Kylie.”
“Dylan, I can explain.”
He plowed on without listening. “So I started thinking about how convenient my love life had gotten since that night at the party and Caroline's. And I texted all three of them and we started comparing notes.”
I stared down at my sneakers, which was where my stomach seemed to be headed, unable to meet his eyes. My heart felt like a boa constrictor was squeezing it.
“Why, Allison? If you wanted to get me out of your hair so you could go out with Seth, why didn't you just say so instead of manipulating me?”
“It wasn't like that!” I protested.
“So you and Dani didn't go behind my back to set me up with those girls?”
“Yes, but—”
“You're unbelievable.”
“I just wanted you to be happy!”
“Well, thanks for nothing. I knew I couldn't trust you. From now on, you two play your little games with someone else.”
He stalked away and I watched until he disappeared into the crowd. Whatever hope I'd still nourished crumbled to dust in his wake.
Chapter Eleven
The rest of the day passed in a daze. I went from class to class like a zombie and hardly knew what was going on around me. After the first shock of Dylan's words passed I was left numb and empty. This latest blow was simply too much. The universe wasn't just out to get me—it hated me. I was beaten, ready to lie down and give up. All of my plans and dreams had gone up in smoke.
Seth and Dylan were gone, and when word got out what I'd done no guy would want anything to do with me. There was nothing left to do but get through school for the next year and a half until graduation, then start over in college. I'd have to keep my head down, but I had my friends and my books so it wouldn't be that bad.
Then I remembered that I'd still have to see Dylan every day in class and a fresh wave of pain crashed down in an avalanche of agony. Somehow I was going to have to suck it up and deal with it. It was only for a few months—surely I could handle it for that long. If I had any classes with him next year I'd find a way to transfer out.
But even as I reached my lowest point, a fire awakened inside of me. Nothing was truly hopeless, was it? I couldn't just give up. There had to be some way to fix this, if I could only find it. I'd tried doing things my way, and I'd tried doing them Dannika's way. Both had failed. It was time to try something new. I needed advice, and I knew exactly who to ask.
Delaney was studying at Nicole's with Molly for a test, so I was pretty sure Walker would be at home. He looked suitable baffled when he opened his door and found me waiting on his porch.
“Laney is at Nicole's,” he said.
“I know. I came to talk to you.”
He quirked one eyebrow up with a teasing smile. “You trying to get me in trouble with Laney?”
“No, I'm trying to get myself out of trouble with Dylan.”
“Well, in that case you'd better come in.”
When we sat down in his living room he tilted his head. “Now, what have you gotten yourself into, Allie?”
So I told him. I started with the night at the party and Caroline's and explained how the whole thing had unfolded without leaving anything out. He listened without a word until I had finished, then he leaned back with a low whistle.
“You girls really are something. Why do you always have to turn something so simple into something complicated?”
“I don't know.”
“I guess I can sort of understand you trying to fix him up with someone at first because you felt bad for him. But the rest of it? What were you thinking?”
“I don't know,” I repeated. “I was mostly scared of what I was feeling, too afraid to take a chance and trying to avoid getting hurt. Then I got desperate because I'd changed my mind and didn't know what to do.”
“And you kept digging the hole deeper with everything you tried.”
“Yeah,” I admitted ruefully.
“And now you want me to help you dig your way out again.”
I gave a helpless shrug. “I don't even know if I can. I'm not sure if Dylan will ever forgive me for what I did.”
“With the exception of one very bad year, Dylan is a good guy. He'll forgive you. If,” he held up a warning finger, “you give him a reason to. But note that I said guy. You're going to have to drop the games and be straightforward if you want this to work. You're going to have to talk to him, not sit around hoping he'll figure it all out on his own.” He winked. “Most guys aren't as smart about women as I am. Subtlety doesn't work on them.”
“That I can believe.”
“I can't say for certain without asking him, but from everything you've told me he likes you a lot and just needs an excuse to let the other stuff go. So give him one.”
“What kind of excuse?”
“Something that will show him that you're interested and convince him that he can trust you after all.”
“But I don't know how to do that!”
“You've talked to him and spent time with him. You know him well enough to try to set him up with girls you thought he'd like.”
I snorted. “Yeah, and look at how that turned out.”
“So don't mess it up this time.”
That was great advice, but it didn't help me much from a practical standpoint. I would have to think about what W
alker had told me so I could figure out what to do. But no matter what he'd said, I had little hope that I'd succeed any better with this than I had with the matchmaking before. I needed to clear my head and come up with some fresh ideas. What did I know about Dylan?
A thought struck me, and I stopped by Dannika's house on the way home. She smiled in surprise as she let me in.
“I'm glad to see you. From what Molly said I would have expected it to take dynamite to get you out of your house.”
“She's not wrong.”
“So what blew you out tonight?”
“I'm looking for a way to get myself out of the mess I'm in.”
I told her about what had happened with Dylan, but said nothing about my chat with Walker. I wanted to keep that to myself for the time being.
“Anyway, I wanted to get those notes back if you still have them.”
A worried expression crept over Dani's face. “Why do you want those?”
“I need some ideas for another round of matchmaking.”
“Oh, no, Allie. I don't think that's a good idea. Haven't you had enough of that?”
“Just one more time. But this time I'm going to make the perfect match for me.”
“I see. Do you need any help?” she asked as she handed the papers to me.
“No. I need to do this on my own.”
“Well, good luck.”
“I'm definitely going to need it.”
After I got home I studied the lists far into the night, and went over everything which had made me choose the girls I thought were the best matches for Dylan. At the same time I replayed the memories of every moment I'd spent with him, hoping that my mind would assemble some answer from the jumble of facts and impressions. I felt like I was battering my head against a wall, though. I knew that I was close to figuring it out, but the answer remained just out of my grasp, and the harder I tried the further it slipped away. It took forever for me to go to sleep because my mind didn't want to shut down and kept churning long after I turned off the light.
When I woke up the next morning, though, it was there, clear and bright and perfect. It wasn't a solution to my problems, but it was a first step. For now that was enough.
Once I'd put myself together and had some coffee, I drove to Aransas Pass. I'd checked the website to make sure Dolphin Tours was open before I set out. It took most of the money I'd gotten for Christmas, but I bought two passes for their deluxe tour. Dylan was going to love it. It was the perfect peace offering, and I had a silly grin plastered on my face all the way home. I couldn't wait to give them to him.
By Monday morning, though, I was ready to chicken out. I'd had all weekend to dwell on it, and to remember how angry and upset Dylan had been with me. Then there was the guilt over what I'd done. I remembered how I'd felt when Delaney had tried to throw me together with Glen. I was too nervous to face Dylan, afraid I'd freeze up and not be able to speak—like I'd been with Seth before.
I took an envelope from Mom's desk and sat down to write a note instead. Half a dozen attempts later I had something I was reasonably happy with.
Dylan,
I know what I did was wrong and I'm sorry. I'd never in a million years want to do anything that would hurt you. I know it's hard for you to believe, but I just wanted to try to find someone you could be happy with after Dani and what happened that night at the party. It was stupid and I shouldn't have done it, but I didn't do it to hurt you. Anyway, I'm sorry and I hope this will help make up for it a little. I remembered how much you wanted to do this, so take Kylie (or whoever) and I hope you enjoy it. Please don't be mad at me anymore. Please?
Allison
I read through it again with a frown. It still sounded awkward, but I didn't know how to make it any better and if I spent any more time doing rewrites I was going to be late for school. I folded the letter and stuffed it in the envelope with the two passes, then sealed it all up and stuck it in my backpack.
All the way to school doubts plucked at my mind, and I worried that he'd blow it off and still be mad. It was dumb, because I knew Dylan would like it, but that didn't seem to matter. I had to get him to forgive me, otherwise I'd never get close to him again and I couldn't even bear to think about that. Once he'd forgiven me I could start working out my next step, although I still had no idea what it might be. I just knew that there had to be a next step. Dylan was everything that I'd ever wanted, and I'd been an idiot to push him away simply because I was scared. Well, I was still scared, but I wasn't going to let it stop me again.
My heart began to pound as I parked my car. All my nerves were on edge, so I avoided my friends and went around to the door at the side of the building where I wouldn't have to deal with them. The halls were still mostly empty as I hurried towards Dylan's locker. When I got to it I glanced around, but there was no one in sight. With trembling fingers I slid the envelope into his locker while my heart threatened to hammer its way out of my chest, then turned away quickly before anyone found me there.
It was done. There was no taking it back now. I just had to keep my fingers crossed that it worked and try not to be too much of a nervous wreck until literature class.
The morning dragged as my anticipation grew, and by the end of first period I was ready to scream. Had he gotten it yet? Had he read the letter? What had he thought when he read it? Would he forgive me? Would it just make things worse?
When I got to the class we shared he wasn't there yet. I went to my desk and waited on the edge of my seat as the seconds ticked by. Dylan walked in just as the bell rang. This was it. I held my breath as I awaited some sign of his reaction.
Since the bell had rung there was no time to talk, but our eyes met and he smiled with a small nod before he slid into his desk. I let out the breath I'd been holding and the tension slowly drained from my taut muscles.
It had worked. I was forgiven, or at least headed in the right direction. I couldn't wait for class to be over, and every few seconds my eyes drifted back to the clock at the front of the room. My heart jumped when the bell rang, and I gathered my things as quickly as I could. Dylan made it out of the door first, and I hurried after him in my eagerness to hear what he had to say.
I stopped short in the doorway. Kylie stood with Dylan in the hall outside, smiling happily as she reached for his hand. I turned away and stumbled towards my next class with a lump in my throat. I might have been forgiven, but that hadn't made getting closer to Dylan any easier.
Chapter Twelve
I willed my heart to stop its frenzied beating as I turned away. I'd known that this was going to be an uphill battle. The key was not to give up over small setbacks. Dylan and I were perfect for each other—I just had to make him see it and convince him that he could trust me not to run off after Seth. However hard it might be, however long it might take, I was determined to keep going. We deserved each other, deserved a chance to be happy together, and I wouldn't stop until we had our chance.
The one thing that worried me was Kylie. Regardless of what Dannika had said about her being all wrong for Dylan, the girl was cuter than a basket full of kittens and Dylan seemed to like her. I had no clue how to deal with that. I mean, I would never try to break them up, no matter how much I wanted Dylan for myself. I was not that girl. All I could really do was stick around and show Dylan—somehow—that I was the one he was meant to be with, that we belonged together more than he and Kylie ever could.
I probably should have gone to my friends for help since they all had boyfriends, but I wanted to figure this out on my own. If I could. I still had some pretty hefty doubts on that score.
I joined them for lunch in the cafeteria as usual, but it was immediately obvious that something was going on when I walked through the doors. All eyes were on me, watching expectantly as I approached our table. I faltered a little, self-conscious under their scrutiny. What was going on? Did I have something on my face? Had they somehow found out about my peace offering to Dylan? But how could they? I hadn't told anyon
e else, and I doubted that Dylan had.
I sat down and dropped my backpack. “What is it? You guys are seriously creeping me out.”
Delaney leaned forward. “Have you heard?” she asked in a low voice.
“Heard what?”
“Dylan and Kylie are no longer an item.”
“What?”
Dannika took over. “He broke things off with her sometime this morning. When he told her she got so mad she yelled at him in the hall in front of everybody.”
Guilt twisted my stomach into knots. “Oh, no.”
Delaney shrugged. “Bad for her, good for you.”
Maybe so, but that wasn't how I'd wanted things to go down. Was it my fault? From the timing it almost had to be, didn't it? I couldn't believe that Dylan had randomly picked the same morning I'd given him my peace offering, and he hadn't done it before then because I'd seen them together. So it almost had to be my fault.
I felt as though I should apologize to Kylie or something, but there was no way that could end well. I could just imagine how she'd react to the news that I was responsible. Better just to leave it alone. In the end it had been Dylan's decision, even if it was because of me. I decided to put any further plans for Dylan on hold for a while to give things a chance to cool down, though.
“I feel sorry for her,” I admitted. “It can't be easy having a guy like Dylan slip through your fingers.”
Molly threw me a significant look but diplomatically kept her mouth shut. The others weren't as tactful.
Delaney's eyes lit up. “This is your chance to go after him!”
“I kind of think it might be better if I waited a while.”
“No! If you wait, someone else might snatch him up.”
To my relief Dannika came to my rescue. “I have to agree with Allie on this one. Give it a little time.”
“Oh, fine,” Delaney said, pouting. “But they'd make such a cute couple, and they need to be together.”
I was all for that, but it didn't feel right somehow. Not yet, with Kylie so fresh on Dylan's mind. I held up a hand to forestall any further argument.
“I promise I'll give it my best shot, but it needs to wait. Kylie needs to be completely out of the picture first.”
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