by Tonya Kappes
“I don’t think your Solara is going to hold much more.” Lucy picks up my Prada sandals and dangles them in the air. “I don’t think these are going to fit.”
“If they don’t, I can hold them.” I snatch them and slip them back in the bag.
“Hello?” Georgia and Prudence announce their entrance.
“Isn’t she gone yet?” Georgia pats her pregnant belly. “I’m ready to have fun without her,” she sarcastically blurted.
“I guess Sam will let anyone up, huh?” I laugh walking down the hall.
“We came to see you off.” Tears build up in Prudence’s eyes. “I can’t believe I have to boycott Gucci for three months.”
“Are you tearing up because you won’t be shopping?” I tease. “You can come to the Cincinnati store and pick out whatever you like.”
I hug her tight and hope it will make the ache go away. But it doesn’t. It only deepens.
“How soon can I come?” Lucy asks.
There’s an unwritten bond between us. Lucy is my rock, Prudence is my fun and Georgia is my voice of reason.
Georgia hands me the most beautiful feng shui book tied with a pretty red polka dot ribbon. “You need all the good chi that you can get,” she says.
Man, she’s right. These days, I’d take all the luck I can get.
“Oh, I almost forgot,” I say, totally lying my ass off.
I’ve been waiting for this moment. I pull the envelopes out of my bag and hand them out.
“We wouldn’t miss it.” Georgia’s smile lights up the room.
“I wanted to make sure we continued our monthly girls’ night in.” A warm glow ran through me.
All three begin to squeal when they realize the gift I’ve given them.
“How did you afford this?” Lucy’s mouth dropped.
I’d already given her three months’ of rent. She didn’t want to take it, but I made her.
“My advance,” I stood there with pride since I’m usually the one that can’t afford such things.
“I’m totally in the wrong field.” Prudence laughs. “Do they need a good lawyer?”
“It’s time for me to get on the road.” I avoid my friend’s faces, and pick up my last box.
If I look at them, the water-works will start and won’t quit until I get to Cincinnati.
“We’re going to send you off without us watching you leave.” Lucy squeezes me with a big hug. “Granny said never to watch a friend leave or you’re watching them leave for good and I need you here with me.”
“There is no way I’m going to let you watch, because I am coming back with or without Granny’s advice on my side.” There have been a lot of Granny’s superstitions I’ve taken to heart. But this one is one I’m not going to question.
Reluctantly I bow my head and accept my fate. I lug myself to the elevator and hesitate before I push the down arrow. I turn to look back and all three girls quickly jump back in my apartment and shut the door. Even though they say they won’t watch, I know their hearts can’t hold them back.
The ride down the elevator makes me sick to my stomach. I feel like I left my heart on the fifty-first floor. My mind is racing a million miles a minute. Three months away from my friends, and from Bo, is going to seem like an eternity.
I look at the image staring back at me from the elevator mirror. There’s a sparkle in my eyes that I can’t explain.
I can’t help but have an eerie feeling. I begin to wonder how three months away is going change my life. I get a sneaky suspicion that the girl staring back at me may not be the same girl who will return.
“Thank you, Sam.” He is waiting by the door for me.
“I got you a coffee from Addicted to the Bean.” He hands me the cup. “We sure are going to miss your morning runs.”
“I’ll be back in no time.”
Cincinnati is my past. My home is in Chicago. My life is here. With both my parents gone, Aunt Grace is all that’s left there. I’m sure she will outlive me.
As much as I want to, I refrain from looking back when I pull out of the parking garage. I resist the urge to drive down Michigan Avenue, the Magnificent Mile. The heartbeat of the city. I’m sure it is already full of people. That isn’t going to happen in Cincinnati. It’s a conservative city.
I’m leaving an extremely hot city for the wonderful allergies that come with Cincinnati. Maybe I’ll get such bad hay fever that I’ll have to call in sick all the time and they’ll fire me.
I hold Bo’s note tight. With the top down and music going, I get comfortable for the five-hour drive.
Week Two
Beads…the ultimate stress reliever.
Author Unknown
Chapter Eleven
“Who’s there?” the voice snapped sharply.
You have got to be kidding me. My Uncle Jimmy is bent over, his butt crack showing, using a scrub brush on the concrete steps leading up to their shotgun apartment building. That’s the last sight I need to see on my first night home.
“It’s me, Hallie, Uncle Jimmy.” I yell over the traffic behind me, trying not to look at his nasty crack.
Uncle Jimmy is Aunt Grace’s lame old fourth husband who really isn’t related to me at all. He came into the picture, but was never around. He floats in and out of drunkenness.
“This damn buggy place. Bugs all over. Drunks throw up and I gotta clean it up.” He throws the brush in the stale bucket of water. “Step over me. Your Aunt Grace is upstairs.”
It makes me laugh how he always calls her “my” Aunt Grace.
The stench of the building forces me to breathe in and out of my mouth. Maybe I should’ve gone to my new apartment before I came to visit. Maybe I shouldn’t have come at all. Not only will I have to plug in my Clapper as soon as I get there, but I won’t sleep for all the night terrors I’ll have about Uncle Jimmy’s nasty crack.
They sure could fix this place up, I stand in the tattered building where I grew up. The three-story building has total of twelve apartments that Aunt Grace is responsible for.
The once vibrant red carpet that runs down the hallway is now black and bald in most spots. The gorgeous dark woodwork is now dull and nicked up. Aunt Grace’s apartment number is hanging by a thumb tack. I roll my eyes. How in the hell did I escape such a place? I pat my Prada and knock on the door.
“Aunt Grace.” I tap again, careful not to knock off the number plate.
The television is so loud that I have to knock louder and my knuckles turn red.
“What?” she screams in a cranky get-the-hell-out voice that’s all too familiar.
“It’s me Hallie, Aunt Grace.” I hear a chair squeak.
“Hold on, honey. I need to put my teeth in.” I never know what’s going to come out of Aunt Grace’s mouth. Now I have to worry about what’s going in, too.
To the chagrin of my parents, Aunt Grace told me all about the birds and the bees. Unfortunately she did it without my parents knowing, only to find out when the school principal told them she had received several parent complaints about “their daughter” telling stories at recess about an inappropriate topic. The way I figured it, we all had a right to know where we came from.
“Wow. You look great.” I pat Aunt Grace on the back trying not to hug her. I don’t want to take any unwanted bugs to my new pad.
But she doesn’t look great. She is thin and pale. Not the boisterous Italian body I’m use to.
“Let me look at you.” She holds my arms out to my side.
It is hard not to stare at the crooked black wig on top her head, showing off a little of her gray wiry hair. I’m still shocked by how frail she looks.
Her fox stole rests on her shoulder with the tail neatly tucked in the teeth of the fox’s mouth. There is more skin than fur on the pelt. I can imagine Aunt Grace sitting around in her chair petting the fox like a real pet.
“Come in. Let me fix you something to eat.” She creeps back in to her apartment.
The hot plate sitting on
the TV tray next to her chair is full of dried-up pasta.
“I can turn the plate on. God knows you need to eat.” She looks over at me, shaking her head. “No Italian in you at all.”
“No, no. I just ate.” I lie, remembering all the times my parents warned me not to eat anything Aunt Grace ever offers. Little did they know she would be raising me and that I didn’t have a choice. But I have a choice now.
“Come here,” she commands, walking past her chair and moving near the empty china cabinet.
The bottom drawer flies open. I duck at the flying china plates that are being thrown at me.
“Hurry! Put those in that big bag of yours,” she said in a small frightened voice.
Crap. I frown, looking over at my purse. I shovel them in as fast as I can, trying not to look the fox in the eyes. I swear it’s staring at me letting me know something fishy is going on.
The Jefferson’s theme song plays in my head as I watch the roaches dance around. “We’re-a-movin’ on up…” Yeah! Moving up in a Prada!
“Hurry. Faster, before he comes up here.” She is quick.
I can hardly keep up with her. I’ll bet a million dollars this is the fastest she has moved in a long time.
“Who, Aunt Grace?” I question.
My handbag straps begin showing signs of strain. I swear I can hear my purse start to cry. “How could you forsake me? I have complimented so many outfits for you!”
“Jimmy. He’ll pawn everything I got if I don’t watch it. Drinking money.” Icy fear is in her eyes.
I have never seen her so serious. I know she means business.
I don’t try to convince her otherwise. Besides, how much can this china be worth? Enough for a forty-ouncer from the UDF down the street? I don’t know what I am going to do with all of it. Carefully, I put my bag on the floor, out of fear that the dishes might break.
I look around for crawling bugs. What the hell am I thinking? I chuckle to myself. Her dirty dishes are in my purse, so why not a few cockroaches on my sandals?
“Honey, Antonio doesn’t live here.” Aunt Grace adjusts her wig leaving a few strands of her real hair straggling. “I’m glad to see you so eager. I was always afraid you were a little-you know.” She tilts her hand side to side gesturing homosexual.
Great! My Aunt Grace thinks I’m a lesbian.
“Who’s Antonio?” I ask warily.
“Duh, the nice knife salesman I want to fix you up with.” There is a sparkle in her eyes. “Good Italian family. You will make beautiful babies.”
“Stop right there.” I put my hand up in the air. “Actually, I’m going to be living here for the next three months.”
“Honey, we don’t have any room, but I could let you bunk with…”
“I have an apartment in Hyde Park,” I say, interrupting any shenanigans going on in her crazy mind.
“Huh.” She shooes a cockroach away from her hot plate. “You better watch it, little fellow, or I might cook you up.”
She continues to bat at the other cockroaches that are starting to infest the pot, not noticing that her wig has fallen off.
My old feelings of needing to escape these surroundings are creeping back into my soul.
“I’m opening a store here for work and I have three months to do it. I will be really busy, but I would like to spend some time with you.”
I stand up, ready to get the hell out of there. I am not going to explain what Gucci is. In her heyday, Aunt Grace was a wealthy sought-out woman.
But after ninety-two years of life, with four husbands, and one cockroach-infested building to her credit, she has nothing. Hardly even her mind.
“Don’t leave so soon.” Her mouth is tight and grim.
I stay longer than I anticipate. Much longer.
“Aunt Grace, you should think about moving.” I’d love to see her get out of here.
I peer out the window watching the sun going down. Her neighborhood is ranked the number one most dangerous place to live in Cincinnati. I’ve got to go and go fast.
She gives me the look she has given all the relatives before me. She points her crooked finger hard to the ground. “This is my home.”
“I’ll call you soon. Here’s my number.” I hand her a piece of paper with my number.
I want to follow it up with something like, “call me if you need anything, call in case of murder, or theft.” But I decide to let her be. I know she’ll call under any circumstance. I pick up my Prada with two hands.
We hug and I clink down the steps.
I get in my car and quickly lock the doors, then place my hands on the steering wheel and stare ahead. The lump in my throat is getting bigger by the second. My eyes tear up and I squeeze the vinyl wheel. All my surroundings are seeping with memories I’ve been trying to forget.
I remember walking up this street with the police, the sound when they knocked on Aunt Grace’s door, and her arms wrapped around me the way she did that day. I remember being scared, the same kind of scared I feel right now.
Slowly I get myself together.
“Okay, you can do this,” I tell myself, looking at my reflection in the mirror. I put the car in drive, and go north, resisting the urge to drive back to Chicago.
I do a double take in the rearview mirror at the lit up city behind me. I’ve forgotten how pretty the Cincinnati skyline is. So different from Chicago. Much tighter and smaller. The electric company spells Cincinnati with lights from the offices. They’ve gone to great lengths to build up the city and it’s definitely showing. Despite Aunt Grace and Uncle Jimmy, I am strangely excited, looking forward to exploring my old hometown.
I take another look in the mirror and laugh. My emotions are going from one extreme to another.
Of course Hyde Park is a great suburb just north east of the city. I never imagined myself living here. My friends and I always teased the preppy kids who grew up here. I know that now it was only envy. Because those kids were handed all the opportunities we had to work our butts off for.
I remember my father’s advice. “Find something you love and you won’t fail.” He was right. I love everything about fashion. Even though I’ve been grumbling about my three month stint back home, I know it’ll lead to bigger and better opportunities in my life. I can feel it. Now that I’m here in Hyde Park, it feels good.
The GPS guides me into the driveway of a cute stone cottage. I check the address in my package to make sure I’m at the right place.
Apartment?
This is no apartment. It’s the cutest house I’ve ever seen. The cobblestone walkway is shaded by two large oaks. The red door is framed by a trellis with the most gorgeous purple wisteria vine lapping over it.
The smell of fresh paint tangles my nose when I open the door. Dark-stained hard-wood floors continue throughout the house. An inviting gas fireplace has built-in wooden benches nestled on both sides.
The cherry red kitchen is cozy with the white washed cabinets and stainless steel appliances.
“If I must live here for three months, I guess this will do.” I slide my hand along the brown granite counter top, I laugh out loud.
Oh, yeah, this feels good.
The double French doors from the kitchen open up into the brown office with built-in bookshelves. The stairs leads to two bedrooms, each with their own bathroom. The closet size is small. Thank goodness I didn’t bring my entire wardrobe.
The small backyard is enclosed by a privacy fence, a grill and some patio furniture on the small slab of concrete.
I unload and unpack every box but one. My feng shui stuff. It’ll have to wait until tomorrow. I’ll work on my bagua and try to figure out where to put my precious Buddha.
All I can think about is how torn I am, wishing I was back in Chicago with my friends, but glad to come back to Cincinnati on my own terms.
Finally I go to bed.
Chapter Twelve
It is way too quiet to sleep. I pick up the clock and drop it back down.
; Two a.m.?
I long to hear the honking cabs and ambulance sirens I’m sure are going off in the streets of Chicago at this very moment.
My skin is sticky, and my thin t-shirt is clinging to me from the damp air. Something I don’t miss about Cincinnati is the summer humidity.
My mouth is dry and with no one else around, I head downstairs for water. I have never walked around in a shirt and underwear before. For obvious reasons, one being that I lived with Lucy for like the past decade, and two, her boyfriend Beck is like a roommate now.
I float down the stairs with a little giddy up and enjoy my freedom. It is very liberating standing in my kitchen, in my house, all alone drinking a tall glass of ice cold water in only my panties and t-shirt.
I can’t help but wonder about last night. It seems so long ago. How long did Bo stay at my apartment after the party?
I go back upstairs and read his note—again. It is scribbled, not a take your time love note.
Hallie,
Please give me a call as soon as you get settled in Cincinnati. It’s really important that I talk to you.
Bo
What on God’s earth did he have to talk to me about or tell me? I rack my brain for reasons and reach for my cell phone, but the clock stops me. How can I call Bo in the middle of the night? I always complain about Aunt Grace’s phone calls and now I’ve almost done the same thing.
I take a closer look at his scribble.
Maybe I should take it to one of those hand writing analysis people. I know they will say something like, “the way he dotted the ‘I’ in Hallie shows he’s really in love with you.”
I laugh at the idea, but stop. What if I do take it to a handwriting analyst? My spirits lift and I run my finger slightly over his name. Bo. I already miss running behind him. I dreamily fall asleep, visualizing the back of his head.
I haven’t sleep this good in years. I stretch my arms, ready to stick to my commitment—the marathon.
Jogging in Hyde Park Square more distracting than the city. There are many more boutiques, restaurants and bars than I remembered. I spend more time window-shopping than jogging.