by Tonya Kappes
But it’s good to have my best friend beside me. I don’t want to think about what my life will be like if she does move. It’s taking everything in my power not to tell her to stay with me. We’re like Jenny and Forest Gump, peas and carrots.
Still, her pain is real, and I listen—all the way home.
“Chicago hasn’t been the same without you girls.” Sam hugs us. It’s funny how we’ve become close with the doorman after living here for a couple years. Really, there is no other way, with him having to be the one all visitors have to go through. “When are you two coming home, for good?” He holds the door.
“I have one month. O-n-e.”
We both look at Lucy anticipating her answer.
“I don’t know. Maybe t-w-o.” Lucy spells it out mocking me.
The condo is warm and inviting as it always is. Lucy’s featherbed ruffles when she dives into it, with Henry right behind. I search for my light switch because my Clapper is in Cincinnati. The city lights help as they shine through the window.
I stop and take in the view. Chicago is beautiful. I close my eyes and listen to the cars below, honking their horns. Did I really miss the noise? Or it was white noise all these years?
I haven’t thought about what I’m going to do. I don’t have the energy to waste on Bo. I want to focus all my energy on Beadnicks and making it the most successful thing in my life. Karma owes me and it’s my time.
I pull out my killer jeans. I’ve missed them. I hear the angels sing when I pull them out of the closet.
“Ah.” I smell my 7 for all Man Kind jeans.
Of course I had to have them when I saw them on Jennifer Aniston in People magazine. If I only looked as good as her.
“Let me pour myself into you.” I pat them like a fine fur.
I pair it with my white sequence tank, strappy silver heels and four original Beadnicks bracelets. I’m ready to get back in the groove of my life.
The line to get in the bar is out the door. Bo has obviously gone all out to showcase The Mean Street Blues Band. The marquee lights flash the drink deals. This is crazy, I suddenly decide. There is no way I’m going to stand in line when I can enjoy myself in Cincinnati relaxing to the same smooth blues band at the Palour. I’ll just go back home and make some jewelry.
“Hallie!” Piper scream.
I cringe at the sound of her voice.
“Hallie!” she screams again.
I hear the clump of her heels running up behind me. There she is, peppy Piper all decked out.
“I didn’t know you were coming here this weekend. Why didn’t you tell me?” She tilts her head to the side like one of those high-spirited cheerleaders. She clasps her hands in delight.“Are you going to check up on me tomorrow?”
Technically I can do it since I’m the new regional and the thought of “checking up on her” gives me a little power, but I won’t waste my time.
“No. I am here to see the band.”
“Oh. Do you know them?” She acts left out of the loop. “Bo has really gone to great lengths for this.”
Of course he has. It’s torture standing here listening to her talk about him.
“Really?” I back up, trying to keep my distance from her as she creeps closer. I fall back on my heels and into a pair of arms.
“Oh!” Luckily the arms hold me tight.
“Hallie?” The lead singer of The Mean Street Band, is taking a smoking break outside and he remembers my name!. I couldn’t have scripted this better if I was Quentin Tarantino. “Why are you in this line?”
Piper ‘s jaw drops.
“Pick your mouth up, honey. Chicago streets aren’t that clean,” I say as I wave over my shoulder, walking behind the lead singer into the back entrance.
“Hey, thanks for bringing Bo in the Parlour that night. We’re having a blast.” He takes me by the arm and off we go. “He gave us a tour of Chicago last night and we’ve been hanging all day.”
I smile and watch him jump back behind the curtain to take his place on stage. I’m having the best luck lately! Maybe not with Bo, but the other parts of my life are pretty good. I look up to heaven and wink. Okay God, I might have some evil thoughts, but really thanks. Gratitude. That’s one thing my good Italian family left me.
“There you are.” Bo sneaks up behind me while I wait in line to pee. “The lead singer told me you were here and I’ve been looking all over.”
“Here I am.” I plaster my best fake grin as the anger swells up inside.
No commitment? Really? I was blowing smoke his way when I agreed to it. What red-blooded woman would agree to that? A desperate one, I tell myself.
“We need to talk.” He yells after me when it’s my turn for the bathroom.
I go in the bathroom to get away and stay in extra long, hoping he won’t be outside the door when I come out.
“Oops. Sorry, Monk.” The door almost whacks Monk in the head.
“Hey, how’s the bead thing going?” He genuinely looks interested. “Have you thought about anything I said?”
“I…” I mumble what I’ve done, but the noise level is so loud he can’t hear me.
“Come in my office.” I follow him back. Beer signs hang on the wall, along with and a framed poster autographed by the entire Van Halen group. “I thought you like blues?”
“Blues bar, Chicago, money.” He laughs. “I’m a rock guy. That’s why I’m not usually here at night.” He sits down on a red leather sofa. “Rock bar wouldn’t have made us the same money.”
“Wow, Monk. A different impression of you.” He’s still a little nerdy, but I like it. He offers me a glass of wine and I graciously take it.
Enjoying my drink, I tell Monk about the meeting with Saks, all the boutiques and my new tax ID.
“I’m proud of you.” He refills the glasses. “Let me know what I can do for you.”
We finish off our drinks with idle chit-chat about Cincinnati and The Mean Street Blues Band. I refrain from asking about Bo. He asks about the marathon. I refrain from asking about Bo. He asks if I’m going to run with the running group tomorrow. I refrain from mentioning Bo.
“It’s time for me to Bo … I mean go.” I point to the door. The wine is taking a toll on my speech. I head towards the door so he won’t see my red face.
“Hallie?” Piper looks me up and down from the other side of the door. “What are you doing in there?” She points inside and looks in to find Monk lounging on the sofa with his wine glass in hand.
I grin, leaving it all to her imagination.
As far as she and Bo are concerned, they know nothing about the arrangement Monk and I’ve set up and they don’t need to know. When she tells Bo what she thinks is going on, as I know she will, it’ll rot in his mind.
Chapter Forty-One
The sun peeking through my blinds confirms I survived another day.
I’m so confused.
I pull the covers back over my head to drown out the honking horns. I’m use to sleeping without interruption in my Hyde Park home or jogging down for a cup of coffee without getting run over by a taxi or dodging pedestrians on a crowded street.
Now, I’m embracing a life I’ve been running from. I groan and pull the covers back. I can’t just let Henry out and leave him. I actually have to drag myself out of bed and look halfway decent to take him on a walk.
The carpet is warm on my feet when they hit the floor and I search for my sweats and Henry’s leash. Walking him is a good way to clear my mind. Henry is definitely one little man I never envisioned in my life, but he is the only man in my life.
“Come on, buddy. Let’s go out.” Henry jumps up and down, knowing what’s in store for him. Having Henry these past few weeks has given me more responsibility. I have to make it home to let him out. I have to feed him and walk him. With everything I do, I have to take him into consideration.
When I get into the elevator, my image catches my eye.
I pause. My chest tightens.
Only eight
weeks ago I looked at this same girl. Before my eyes, I can already see a difference the eight weeks has made in my life.
“I told you.” I remind the image of how this girl wasn’t come back the same. Only this time, my image isn’t sad or regretting the challenge.
Henry is a little hesitant from the zooming taxis. I love this city, but a tug for the quiet streets of Hyde Park makes me a little homesick.
How could it be? I shake the notion out of my head. There’s no way I’m longing to go back to the place I’ve spent my entire life trying to get out of.
Or am I?
I walk Henry around the block and decide to run by myself and not with the group.
I start uptown, leaving the group’s normal route opposite me. I don’t want to risk running into them. There’s more on my plate than Bo, and at this point, I need to stay away from him.
Of course there is no way I want to go back to my old life.
Shoo, I laugh out loud. I must’ve had a momentary lapse in judgment or early onset of Alzheimer’s. Really? Have I forgotten Aunt Grace’s and Uncle Jimmy’s last episode at the race track? The further away I am from them, the better.
This past week made me realize that if beading is going to pay off, I’m going to have to spend more time doing it. Not just nights and weekends. As much as I hate to think about my life without Gucci being in it, it’s a real possibility. Something I need to discuss with the girls over a few drinks.
I make a point to run past Addicted to the Bean. I want to grab a cup and head home to bead for the rest of the afternoon, but I take a little detour behind the coffee house to hide from my running group heading right towards me.
I’d know that Saturday shirt from anywhere!
My lungs expand with every shallow breath I take hiding behind the dumpster. I don’t make a peep. As they pass, I squint, focusing on the back of Bo’s head.
“Yep.” I whisper to myself, “he still has a beautiful head.”
Don’t, Hallie! Stop it right now! I stamp my feet to the ground because my clear head is cloudy. Again.
My mood quickly changes when I get home.
Lucy expresses some interest in learning to bead and today will be as good a time as any, with neither of us having plans. We can sit on the balcony watching old movies just like old times. Today, we choose That Touch of Mink.
Lucy takes to beading like a duck to water, and we spend the day refocusing on our friendship. We are so focused, in fact, that I leave my phone turned off.
Chapter Forty-Two
“Hello.” Georgia opens the door to let us in for girls’ night.
“Dude, you are huge.” I pat my god baby in Georgia’s belly. “The baby, not you.”
“Get in here.” She pulls me in. “You’re not going to believe what I’ve got to tell you.”
We find Prudence in the family room twirling her finger around one of her curls.
“I say its pregnancy hormones.” Prudence already made Cosmos for everyone and stands up to hand them out. “Dan said she’s been crazy all day with news and won’t tell him either.” Prudence is referring to Georgia’s husband.
“It’s not pregnancy hormones. It’s excitement for all of us. This is going to change the course of your life.” She points directly at me with the sternest face I’ve ever seen.
Georgia’s face reminds me of Inas, the voodoo lady.
“Georgia honey.” I sit down next to her on the couch, and try to stay calm.“You’re scaring me.”
I’m uneasy and there’s a pit in my stomach. Whatever she’s talking about has to do with me. Does it have to do with Bo?
“What? What’s going to change my life?” I question her.
She paces back and forth in her family room. “I’ve had such good response for the new Gucci ad in Fit Pregnancy.” She doesn’t look at me or any of the other girls. “They love the jewelry and a few of the girls wants to order some bracelets.” She nods towards me.
“Okay, great.” My lip flinches. “Is that it? Is that the big news?”
“I’m not done.” She rubs her belly and quits me with her hand, “One of the girls took the ad home. Her sister works for Harpo magazine. She took the ad to work to show off your jewelry and O Magazine wants to feature your bracelets in ‘my favorite things’ O magazine in December!”
“What? What!” I scream, jumping up and down.
My life just took a turn, not a nice sweet curve, but a big V curve going 200 mph.
Suddenly I’m scared and feel like throwing up.
“What?” Georgia puts her arms around me. “This is what you need to get on the map with your jewelry.”
“I don’t know.” I rub my hands together finding it hard to find the words to describe my feelings. “It’s real now. I’m scared.”
“Oh, sweetie.” Prudence stands up and puts her arms around me and Georgia.
“You have us.” Lucy stands up with the vodka bottle. “And Mr. Goose.”
With a few more details and a couple shots, we start talking about the first trip we are going to take on my newfound money. It’s funny how life works. I guess this is what bittersweet means. Bitter in the love department, but super duper sweet in the success department.
Chapter Forty-Three
Before Lucy and I drove back to Cincinnati, the girls help finish another one hundred on our O Magazine high. Even though we were a little tipsy, the bracelets turned out great.
Monk’s questions have been playing over and over in my head. Are you ready to take it to the next level or is it just a fun hobby?
I’m ready.
The next level isn’t going to be a hobby, nor will it be as much fun. It’ll a job and I’m going to have to treat it as such. What’s going to happen when the Fit Pregnancy ad hits or if and when O magazine calls me? Am I up for the task to make more, if people want more? And, oh, God, what if they don’t want more? What if these ads hit and nobody calls?
I’m going to have to take a leap of faith. A big leap.
The bead shipment is stacked up next to the door when we pull up from our fabulous weekend in Chicago. Seeing Beadnicks and my tax ID on the labels feel good, real good. The drive home gave me time to think about my future. I want to bead, I want to be successful at it, and now I’m on my way.
I have three weeks left on my Gucci contract. I have five days to ship more than four hundred pieces of jewelry to Chicago by week’s end. And now, I have Aunt Grace calling.
“Hi, Aunt Grace.” I start to open another package of beads.
“You are psychic just like your…”
I interrupt her.
“My mother?” I haven’t talked to Aunt Grace since the entire horse-racing crap. I only answer out of obligation.
“I knew you were special when you were born. You’re gonna live a long life just like me.”
“No, God, please don’t do that to me.” That will be a really cruel joke on me. Alone, no kids, no cats, but beads. Lots and lots of beads.
“Now you know I wouldn’t call unless I need you.” I sit in silence waiting for her to blurt out whatever she has to spring on me.
“Are you still mad about the horse thingy with Jimmy? Because if you are, I can let you go.” Aunt Grace waits for my answer and when I don’t give one she continues. “Or you can forgive him? He is family, you know.”
I do know! Family that will screw you and your friends out of thousands of dollars and if that isn’t enough, embarrass the shit right out of you by climbing a flagpole and kissing the eagle at the top on the nose. That’s what I know!
“No, I’m not mad. I’m trying to work on something.” I lie, because she can’t help Uncle Jimmy’s actions. “You have my full attention. What’s your favor?”
“We have these bugs,” she continues, “and the state is going to condemn our building if we don’t get it taken care of.”
No? Really? Tell me something I don’t know. Then I cringe. She’s going to ask me for money. It would be better if they b
omb the place.
“How much?” I brace myself against my table.
“We don’t need money. We need a place to stay for a couple nights.”
STOP! I. WILL. GIVE. MONEY.
I’ve got it. I’ll put them up in a hotel. I’ve got a little more money left on my Visa. It’s a good cause, right?
“The Cincinnatian is close to you. What about staying there?” I’m a genius, happy and I just dodged a bullet. It might be the most expensive hotel in downtown, but well worth it in this case.
“I don’t think you understand. We don’t want to stay with strangers. We want to stay at your house for a couple days.”
I have to sit down. I am, for sure, going to pass out.
She keeps rambling and sputtering words I can’t comprehend in my current state of mind. “Hallie? Dear?”
“Hhh…” I clear my throat because it isn’t coming out. “How long?”
“Just a few days.” She sounds confident in it only being a few days. “The entire building has to be clear of all tenants, but they have to find their own place to go. If they weren’t so dirty, we wouldn’t have this problem.”
If they weren’t dirty? Hello, pot, this is kettle calling. I prepare for the aftershocks that my body is going to have when these words leave my mouth.
“You can stay here.” It’s out like daggers being thrown into the air. I hold onto a little bit of hope she’ll say no.
“You are the sweetest child. We’d love to. Can you come now?”
Of course I’m the sweetest child. Or is it my time to pay her back for taking me in? I’m quickly beginning to remember why I’ve spent most of my life getting out of this city.
I slip on a pair of flip-flops, and get in my car to head south.
Apparently, now isn’t soon enough. She calls seven times before I get there. They are standing on the curb waiting as I pull up. I put their plastic grocery overnight bags in the trunk. Again, no bugs in my house.