"I'm not scared of you," I say, my hand rubbing across his t-shirt, feeling his muscles twitch underneath, "I'm scared for you." I didn't want him to ever get hurt doing anything, whether it was out in the desert or here at home in a brawl with dumb-ass Duke Orr. "Let's forget about it and just get home," I say, snuggling my cheek into his arm, squeezing his chest with my arm. He mumbled a reply, speeding down the rural route as the smell of our food filled the cab, the sun just starting to go down.
As I sat cross-legged on the living room floor, snug between the couch and the coffee table, the Chinese food spread all over the glass top, Chad laughing next to me at the episode of Family Guy on the TV, I couldn't help but think once more, this was the life I wanted. This was the life I was going to have after Chad came back to me. After I had him to my own again. I had dreamed for years about this very moment, trying to fill Chad's spot with other men, trying to lean on the idea that this man would come back to me and he had. He was right here, to my right hand, laughing so hard that his face was turning red. I couldn't help but smile at him and his goofiness.
Checking the walls, we saw that they were all dry, so we started to uncover and move all the furniture back into place. Pulling the last thing back into place, I turned to Chad, "You need to go over to your mom's for a little while," as he gives me a confused smile, I say, "because I have a special dinner planned."
"Okay," he says, drawing it out, giving me a slated look. He slowly starts to walk from the kitchen and I get up behind him, my hands on his hips, trying to push his steel like body along towards the door. "Hey, hey," he says turning and grabbing my wrists as my face bumps into his chest, "I'm going, I'm going, but what shall I do when I'm over there?" His sly grin makes my heart jump and my knees tremble. Grabbing a bag of clothes I had put together for him, I shove them into his hands.
"Think of all the things I'm gonna do to you later in bed," I say, shoving him out of the stoop with a pouty look on his face.
"You're gonna leave me hangin' like that," he playfully shouts, scratching his beard and I just wink at him.
"Yup," I say, blowing him a kiss and shutting the door in his face with a giggle.
It was already past four and it would take me a good two hours to cook the roast I had planned so I prayed silently that Dana would keep Chad occupied like I had told her too. Running into the kitchen, I slide in my socks across the slick hardwood, gripping the door handle of the fridge being the only thing stopping me from crashing through the glass sliding door. Taking out the five pound venison roast that I had snatched from my freezer yesterday, I threw it along with carrots, potatoes, onions and Brussels sprouts onto the counter, pulling a large ceramic casserole dish from the cupboard. Chopping, slicing, peeling and spicing was my world for forty five minutes, putting the roast in the pre-heated oven, setting the timer and sprinting up the stairs to shower and dress.
Standing before the bed, dripping wet with the towel wrapped around me I surveyed my outfit that was laid on the comforter before me. A short, black lace dress with thin straps that I had only worn once, to the Victoria Secrets Christmas party before my mother's death, with sheer thigh high stockings with garters at the top, and red satin heels. Ohh-eee, I say in my head as I scrub the towel over my body and hair, throwing it to the floor and pulling on my matching white lace undie and bra set. Pulling the stockings up to sit at the top of my thighs and pulling the dress over them, smoothing it out, I slip the heels on and stand, seeing my reflection in the mirror over the dresser. Leaning my hips on the dresser, I pin my bangs back, scrunching mousse into my hair and leaving it down. I apply mascara and a little red lip gloss, leaving the rest bare just the way Chad said he liked it.
Going down the stairs in those damn heels I almost fall, twice, catching myself on the banister and almost twisting my ankle as I hit the last step. They click all the way into the kitchen, the smells of the roast just starting to fill the room. I throw the clams I had already steamed and shucked into the food processor, blending them with celery and other vegetables to put back on the half shell to make our appetizer stuffed clams. Chad absolutely loved stuffed clams and I know he'll freak when he sees that I've made them, the thought of it bringing a smile to my face as I stir the batter for a chocolate cake. Chad had the best stove for cooking a multiple course meal because it had two ovens. Which meant that I didn't have to disturb the heat for the roast while putting the cake or clams in. I simply just put them in the other section.
It was a little after seven-thirty when I heard the front door open, a smile creeping across my lips as I stir the gravy I had made from the juice in the roast. "I sure hope this is worth all the stuff my mom had me doin. She had me up on the roof....." I could hear his footsteps come to an abrupt stop and I could see him out of the corner of my eye. "Wow," he whispers out and I turn to face him, giving him a wink.
He looked delicious in his black dress pants, red dress shirt and black tie. He had his hair pulled back into a tight, short nob of a ponytail, the grey streaks standing out against the light brown. He had trimmed his beard but not shaved it and his hand went up to his chin, rubbing along it as he looked me up and down, his shoulder leaning on the doorframe.
"You don't look too shabby yourself," I say, giving him a grin and turning back to stir the gravy. Everything was done and I had already set out the clams with wine, "Just sit down," I say, waving my hand at the table.
"Wow," he said again as he sat at the table, his eyes wide as I put a couple of the clams on his plate, "are these?"
"Yup," I smiled seeing his grin as he dug his fork into the still steaming concoction of clams, vegetables and cheese. Putting it to his mouth I just watched, his eyes closing for a split second and a low 'mmmm' sound rumbling from his chest making me smile wide. "You like them," I ask, my hand on his shoulder.
"I love them," he grinned, wrapping his arm around my leg and pulling me to him, "but not as much as I love you." I laughed because he had that crooked grin on his face and I just had to lean down and kiss him, his hand making me linger for a few more before I broke free to get all the other food together. I don't think Chad's eyes could've gotten any wider when I brought the platter with the venison and veggies over, licking his lips and everything making me giggle. When I sat down, he grabbed my seat and pulled me over closer to him, our legs brushing each other under the table. He 'mmm'd' and 'yum'd' through the entire meal, licking his fingers and lips every chance he got, winking at me every time he caught me staring at him.
Leaning back in his chair, rubbing his hands over his stomach, he sighed, "I don't think I can eat another bite. That was wonderful." He grabbed my arm lightly, pulling me over and kissing my cheek, brushing his still bristly chin on my face making me giggle. "But is that chocolate cake I smell," I can feel his grin against my cheek, his lips brushing the side of my face as he kissed my ear making my skin tingle and goose-bump. I nod my head and get up to bring the cake over, Chad's hands on my waist stopping me and pulling me down onto his lap.
His blue eyes were dark and his touch was thoroughly soft as he ran his hands down my back and bare arms. His hand roamed over the lace of my dress, stopping at the hem. His skin made a slight scratching sound as it rubbed against the nylon material of my stockings as he slipped his fingers under the hem of my dress, my eyes rolling back in my head at the sensation. "The cake can wait till later," he whispered against my lips, his hand still making its slow journey up my thigh. I let out a contented sigh as his fingers came over the garter at the top of my stockings, the warmth from him filling me with heat, his words echoing in my head making me smile as his mouth finds mine.
I throw my arms around his neck, pulling his face closer to mine deepening the kiss. He stands, scooping me into his arms and holding me tight to his chest. "The cake can definitely wait," I whisper against his neck as we make out way up the stairs, "everything can wait till later."
CHAPTER EIGHT:
January 25, 2012
I have only four mor
e days with Chad. Four more days. It makes my hands shake just thinking about it, but then I remember I have to be strong. I have to be strong for Chad. I have to be strong for Dana. I have to be strong for me so that I don't have a mental breakdown when Monday comes. Monday. I don't think I'll ever look at is as just the start of the work week ever again.
But for right now it was Wednesday and Wednesday was a lazy day for Chad and I. It's already past three and we haven't even gotten dressed yet. We've just laid in bed in our pajamas only leaving to get food from the kitchen and use the bathroom. We were laughing through the last couple minutes of a Family Guy DVD when Chad's phone started to play Stewie Griffin yelling "Mama, mama, mom, mom."
"Hello, momma," he said as I jumped on top of his chest, my legs straddling him as he tried to stifle the loud 'umpf' that came out. I could hear Dana on the other end as she asked what we were doing for dinner but I was too occupied with biting at Chad's neck, trying to get a reaction out of him while he was on the phone the same way he does with me. "Yes ma'am we'll come over for dinner then we're headin out to the Dow farm for a party."
He was squirming underneath me when I heard Dana say, "You stay clear of that Orr boy, he's only asking for trouble," and I smiled into Chad's chest before I kissed it. I laughed a little then took the phone from Chad's hand, "I'll make sure he does Dana, but I can't promise that I won't rip Holly's hair out." She laughed and so did Chad, kissing my lips and running his hands over my tank.
"Alright," Dana giggled and I knew she would love to see me rip that skank's hair out, "be at my house for dinner at five." Giving her an okay, she hung up with a sweet 'I love you both' and I laid my head on Chad's chest, enjoying the feeling of his fingers running through my hair.
We showered, taking our time, and dressed, Chad's pinching my butt the entire way across his yard to his mother's house at a little before five. Dinner at Dana's was great as always and I could barely walk as we left being so stuffed, stepping out into the slightly chilly air, Chad's fingers pinching at my blue-jeaned butt once again as I tried to lumber my way across to the house. Knowing that Harlan would have a huge bonfire out on the farm like he always did at parties, I still changed into my new flannel lined jeans that I had ordered out of a Cabela's magazine, pulling my blue, fuzzy on the inside, fake Uggs over them and throwing on a tank with a thermal Henley, I jogged down the stairs. I could smell the coffee half way down so I knew where Chad was and wrapping my arms around his waist I hugged him tight as he stood in front of the coffee pot, looking at his phone.
"Reno texted me," he said with a cheery edge, making my curiosity bloom so I peeked around his arm and to the screen of his phone. "Rosa's pregnant," he said, turning and wrapping me in his arms with a wide smile on his face.
"Wow," was all I could say because Rosa hadn't come off as a child kind of woman. To me she had seemed like a party, shopping, hanging out with her girl-friends kind of girl, but you shouldn't always judge a book by its cover. He held the phone in front of me so that I could see what Reno had said to him, "Doc says it must have happened when we were on base for that week last month." Hmmm, I thought because I hadn't know they were on American soil last month, but if it was only for a week I can see why Chad hadn't come home. "You were home last month?"
Tipping my head back against his chest, my eyes strain to see him. His brow is knitted together and his eyes are on my lips. "Yeah," he said, his arms tightening around mine, squeezing me tight, "the mission had been tough so I.....I had stayed with Reno." His chin rested on my shoulder so that his beard scratched against my neck. "It was better for me to be there than to bring my problems here," he whispered, his arms squeezing me, his hands gripping on my upper arms, "it's one of the reasons why I think this next deployment is gonna be my last."
I kissed the side of his forehead, moving my hands up to rest on his biceps that were curled around me. "Whatever makes you happy," I whisper against his graying hair and I could feel his lips moving along the crook of my neck, his teeth pulling at the material of my Henley shirt. We stood there, holding each other, enjoying the silence and warmth of one another till the coffee pot beeped, signaling that the coffee was done brewing. When Chad was engrossed in making his coffee, I pounced on him, spinning him around and pinning him to the counter, up on my tip-toes my mouth finds his in a hurry, his hands going around my hips.
I kissed him, moving my hands along his shoulders and chest till I felt the tension release in his muscles. His arms relaxed to just hold me as I put my forehead to his, holding my body against his, feeling his heart beat in my chest. Brushing the hair behind my ear, Chad kissed me lightly again, whispering, "Thank you." I smiled at him, looking in his blue eyes seeing the storm clouds dissipating.
"Anytime," I smirk bumping him with my hip, grabbing a mug from the counter. We snuggled on the couch with our coffee, his head in my lap as his legs hung over the arm, my fingers running through his hair. I watched him as he watched TV. I watched the way the gray hairs mingled with his brown ones, I watched the way the waves seemed to wrap around my fingers as I dragged them slowly through. I watched the way his eyes closed slightly when I ran my fingertips over his cheek, scratching them through his shortened beard. This man that I had dreamed of for twenty years was in my lap, sighing as my fingers ran over his skin.
"I love you," I whisper, smiling as Chad turns his face to look up at me, with that crooked smile on his lips.
"I love you too," he said, his hands pulling my head down to him. I still don't know how that man can drive me crazy with just a simple kiss.
We almost broke the coffee table in our escapades, Chad's laughter mixing with mine as our love filled the space that we called home. I love his laugh. It made my heart swell with love for this man.
It was a little after nine as we pulled our clothes back on, me tugging on my boots as Chad went out to start the truck and let it warm up. Making sure all the doors were locked, I grabbed our sweatshirts and jackets, tugging my purse from the coat hook and locking the front door behind me I ran into the chilly garage and jumped into the truck as Chad swung the door open from inside.
My eyes lingered off into the corner of the garage and the half covered classic Chevy truck that sat there. It was Randy's old truck, his baby. He had purchased it about a year into the Navy and had restored it beautifully. After his death I had been torn as to what to do with it, so I had given it to Chad. I know Randy would have wanted him to have it. He loved that truck as much as Randy had. Even in the darkness of the dimly lit space I can tell that it's in perfect shape. I was happy for that. It was a piece of my brother that both Chad and I can enjoy.
I tossed his zip up Mossy Oak hoodie across the center console to him, smacking him right in the face, a loud snort coming from my nose as he just smirked at me, peeling out on the street headed for the Dow farm. He tugged it on as he drove, excepting my help with steering as he pulled his left arm through its sleeve.
Harlan's family farm was located just outside of town to the north, right down the road from the Spratley Cemetery where Randy and my mother were buried and as we drove by the gates, seeing the many headstones, Chad gripped my fingers tighter in his. I hadn't been back there since the day I buried my mom a month ago, but my chest tightened just at the sight of the massive arch over the driveway. Tears threatened to fall, hanging on the rim of my lashes.
"You wanna go there tomorrow," Chad asks, drawing my eyes to his face and I see that there is a sadness lying deep within him. I know I can't talk without sounding like a broken record, the tightness had moved into my throat, so I just nod at him and he pulls my hand to his lips, kissing the back of it and holding it to his mouth as the tears quietly slide down my cheek.
I missed them so much. Even though my mother had been a shell of her former self in the last year of her life, she was still my mother and there was a hole in my heart where she had once stayed. I miss the way she smiled at me when I would tell her about my work day, or the way she complimented my c
ooking even though it wasn't half as good as hers. I miss everything about her. Her voice, her eyes, the smell of her perfume. I miss my mother, but I know that now she isn't suffering and that lifts my spirits a little bit. I know that wherever she is, Randy is with her and they are happy. They're probably strolling down a road in the autumn, the leaves falling around them as they laugh and talk, my mom's head on his broad shoulder. I smile just thinking about it and I squeeze Chad's hand, wiping the tears away with the back of my shaky hand.
There were already pickup trucks and rusty Jeeps lining the road as we neared the farm gates, the tall silos sticking up with the bright white lettering, "Dow & Sons Dairy Farm" on the top of each. They had over four hundred head in cow, twenty pigs, numerous chickens and geese, and around fifteen horses, which were always my favorite to visit because they were always curious about the parties. I love horses and I usually sneak away to hangout in the barn, brushing them down and sneaking them carrots. There was something calming about horses.
Harlan always lets me ride their Clydesdale, Rowdy, and he was a gentle giant, even lifting his front leg so that you can hoist yourself up on his back without using a step stool because he was one tall horse. I didn't see Duke's truck and I released a heavy sigh as Chad parked the truck next to the John Deere bucket tractor, the front scoop loaded with manure but that didn't bother either of us. We'd both shoveled shit in our childhood.
I could see the fire burning out in the field behind the horse barn, the flames skirting up into the night air. Chad's hand was warm as it enveloped mine as we walked past the barn, Chad hoisting me over the electric fence as he just swung his legs over it. We passed some kids Chad went to high school with, all still locals and either construction workers or mill workers, like their parents before them and we issued our polite 'hellos' and 'how are ya's'.
Two Weeks With a SEAL (The Wakefield Romance Series) Page 11