Looking over to Chad as he paused before putting the truck in drive, I see the tears streaking his face and I wipe them away. He leans into my touch, throwing the truck in drive and honking the horn he waves at his mother with me, watching as she grows small behind us. He honked obnoxiously as we passed Kendall's parents’ house, her Beetle in the driveway in front of Harlan's truck.
He stopped at the end of the street and I heard him take a deep breath in. I reached my arm across the center console and his arm shot out to entangle our fingers within each other. His blinker finally went on and we turned off our street.
This was it, I thought, the knot growing in my chest again. In one hour I would have less than twelve hours left with my SEAL.
My man.
My fiancée.
My love.
My heart.
Tick tock, tick tock.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN:
January 30, 2012
Chad
It was 0300 hours and Reno and I were dawning our gear in the living room. Thick socks on my feet I pull on my MARPAT desert pattern pants, tucking in my t-shirt at the waistband. The camo shirt isn't the most comfortable fabric, but I've gotten used to it over the years, buttoning it up and tucking that in as well. I roll the sleeves up, like I always do and look to Reno to help me put on my vest.
As he helps tug the utility bulletproof vest over my shoulders, scenes from last night fly through my head. I had made love to Rhea like I never had before, full with every emotion I had ever felt for her, tears flowing down both our cheeks. I wasn't afraid to show her how she made me feel and her love brought me to tears, so why not shed them? I had held her in my arms for what seemed like days, nothing between us but skin as she trailed her fingers over my chest repeatedly kissing over my heart. Finally snuggling into my arms and drifting off to sleep with her lips pressed below my Adam's apple.
I hadn't wanted to move, but Reno's knocks on their spare bedroom door about twenty minutes ago had pulled me from the warmth of Rhea's embrace. She had dressed quickly and gone to join Rosa, laying on top of their bed, their arms thrown over each other. I know they'll lean on each other and it makes me feel a little better, knowing they are friends already makes it even easier. They had fawned over Rosa's sonogram pictures when we arrived last night, Rhea joking that it looked like a little tadpole at this point. We had all laughed at her and with her, the two of them laughing so hard they cried.
Sitting to lace up my tan, steel toed combat boots I can't help but let my thoughts go to Randy. Would he be proud of me? I hoped he would. Would he be okay with me retiring to NCIS after this mission? I know he would be because that's what he wanted to do. He wanted to be Jethro Gibbs from the CBS show NCIS. He would even smack guys on the back of the head like Mark Harmon's character does.
Would he be happy that I asked Rhea to marry me before leaving? That one was a hard one. I liked to think he would but that voice at the back of my head told me that he would have told me to wait till I came home because how would it affect her if I didn't come home? She would be utterly heartbroken. I didn't want to do that to her, I wouldn't do that to her. She had suffered way too much heartache and death in her life so far. I was here to make her happy and that's exactly what I plan on doing.
I leave my vest open and my helmet in my bag, I won't need those till we're on base. Rosa had set the coffee pot to brew for us and it was smellin’ mighty good as I pour a cup for Reno and myself, leaning my back against the counter. This morning was like so many that have passed before. Getting ready at Reno's house had become my routine, my normality. This morning however, Rhea was with me for the first time and the last because we would never go through this again. After this mission I was all hers and she was all mine.
"Did you hear from the Commander on your retirement," Reno asked as he leaned on the island, his vest bulging as he sat on a stool. I nodded my head, waiting for him to talk first. He sighed, sipping his coffee, "I got the Domestic Terrorism task force of NCIS." That made sense since Reno was a weapons and bomb expert, being the only SEAL I know that can diffuse any kind of bomb in under thirty seconds.
"That's good," I say, slapping him on the back and he grinned. "I got Special Investigation Task Force." I see his eyes go wide and his head nod up and down in approval. Special Investigation was where they worked with other agencies, the FBI, CIA, etc, to solve cases. I was fluent in many languages and computer systems, so it was a perfect fit.
"You're gonna be the next Dinozo," he joked and I punched his shoulder. "Minus the womanizing," he laughed out loud and I shushed him. "Well actually you're a perfect mix of Tony and McGee, and as deadly as Xeva." We both laugh at that, enjoying this moment of normal before we return to solider mode.
"At least we'll be in the same building, we'll be able to have lunch like normal people."
"Ha, yeah, like we'd ever be normal," we laugh, but Reno's comment carries a dark undertone. He's right though. No one who has been through what we have and seen what we have could ever be deemed 'normal'. We both sigh deeply and I look at the clock on the stove, noting that it's half past four, time for us to get going. The base would be busy today, so it's better we get there early.
"Ready to do this bro," I say, nodding my head at the clock getting Reno to swivel in his seat. Taking another sip of the coffee I try to enjoy the taste, but my stomach is doing somersaults. I always get like this. The adrenaline gets the best of me, surging through my veins and making my limbs shake. Reno nods, setting his cup in the sink and I follow him down the hall into Rosa and his bedroom.
The only light that's on is a small lamp on Rosa's nightstand, casting an eerie yellow glow over the two women sleeping on the bed. They were hugging each other, their legs entwined along with their arms, faces inches apart and I can see that Rhea's been crying. Reno and I sit on the bed in unison, our weight stirring the two from their sleep. With my hand on her shoulder I get Rhea to roll towards me and she looks like an angel. Her hair falls around her face in soft curls, her hand shaking slightly as she reached up to brush it from her eyes.
Her eyes, they're rimmed in red and they burn a whole in my heart. "It's time babe," I whisper, brushing my palm over her warm cheek and she smiles up at me.
Her smile. That would get me through the nights alone in my bunk. This is my last mission, but I will be a SEAL for my entire life.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rhea
The silence killed me.
It seemed to be holding a knife to my throat and my chest burned with the built up emotion. My hand was gripped into Chad's as we sat in the back seat of Reno's Jeep, Rosa driving us to the Langley Air Force base that they were departing from. I could see that Reno held her hand over the arm rest, caressing the back of it with his thumb and it made my heart warm a little. After I had gotten up and dressed I had climbed into bed with Rosa, the two of us crying silently on each other's shoulders as we heard the men putting their gear on in the living room.
Looking over at Chad I can barely see his profile in the dim light and passing street lights, but I can feel the tension in his touch. The letter and picture I had hidden from him was tucked into the back pocket of my jeans and it seemed to be burning a hole in the material, wanting to get out and be known. Wanting to be read. I clasp Chad's hand between both of mine, running my fingers over the back of it and leaning my head on his shoulder. I'm not ready for this.
But I have to be, I can't stop it. Sure I could try, but life in prison for holding hostages at a military base does not sound like a plan, so I just have to keep breathing deep, trying to keep my eyes dry in front of Chad. Bringing Chad's hand to my lips, I lightly rub them along his knuckles and he leans down and kisses my temple. I keep his hand to my face, running it along my chin and cheek. Memorizing the feel of his rough skin on my smooth face, the smell of him, the taste of his flesh on my lips. I turn my face to his just in time to catch his lips on mine, his hand in my hair holding me to him as his tongue t
races my bottom lip. My hands gripped into his sleeves, not wanting to let go.
I finally released him when I felt the Jeep come to a stop, our foreheads meeting and our breathing heavy. I run my fingers through his beard, scratching them lightly under his chin getting him to grin. Oh how I love that damn grin. I can hear Rosa and Reno talking to someone, spying that we're at the gate for the base and Chad flashes his ID along with mine. They wave us through and the fear hits me again making a loud sigh pass my lips.
Rosa weaves the Jeep expertly through the base as I look around. I could see the runway as we got close, planes lined up all along it and there were cars parked on this side of the fence as Rosa pulled up, their faces turning our way. I recognize Bobby Timmons, Fred Black and Austin French, all flanked by other men clad in the same gear as Chad and Reno, surrounded by women and children.
I just sit there as I see and hear Rosa and Reno exit the Jeep, Chad standing outside his door grabbing his green canvas bag, his eyes finding me. "Come on babe," he says coaching me out, waving his hand towards himself, but I can't move.
Fear has frozen me. Fear has formed a steel-like grip on my heart and is squeezing it mercilessly. I can't seem to breathe. Rosa's hands on my shoulders forcing me to look up at her as she turns me to get out of the Jeep.
"You can do this," she whispers, hugging my shoulders and pulling me to my feet. I'm assuming she's doing it to make it look like I got up of my own free will, but that was far from the truth. She held onto me and I hugged her back, "Remember, be strong for him. He loves you, he needs your strength for right now." She pushed me back to look in my face, her brown eyes watering and kind. "We can shed our strength after the plane leaves the ground."
I nod my head, hugging her again before following her around the end of the Jeep and wrapping my arm around Chad's waist. We joined the group of other SEALs, Chad introducing me to them as his fiancée and they all slap him on the back and hug me, introducing me to their families. I stood there in a daze, one arm around Chad while the other gripped Rosa's hand next to me until we notice a man in the typical Navy Officer uniform approaching the fence. As he got closer, Chad and the others see, standing erect and saluting as the women and children scoot behind the men, Rosa and I falling in with them.
"Alright men," the almost regal looking man issues a salute, Chad and the others going to an 'at ease' stance, their hands clasped behind their backs and their feet spread slightly. "Time for business," he issued and quickly turned, the men grabbing their bags and falling into a march following him. I almost ran after Chad, fear gripping me that this was goodbye but Rosa's strong hands stopped me.
"They'll be back," she whispers, pulling me to her, "you'll get your chance to say you love him." Her tone was sad and I wrapped my arms around her waist to try and give her some comfort, her head resting against mine. I watched as the soldiers marched into a hanger across the tarmac, the dark sky engulfing them. We stood there, our arms wrapped around each other till a Jeep with MP's pulled up at the gate that had been closed after Chad and Reno had marched through.
They motioned for us to come over and like a wave, we all flowed forward, our feet hitting the tarmac with shaky steps. "We'll stand here and they'll march over, in ranked order so Chad will be second behind French," Rosas' lips where a whisper away from my ear as she led me to stand in a line that formed almost automatically without instruction. "They'll all pass us, so just nod or smile at each then they'll circle around and we'll have five minutes." She sounded winded and I put my arm around her waist, hugging her to my side.
"Thank you again," I whisper, leaning my head on her shoulder as she shrugs. I have a feeling her emotions are boiling over at this moment, I can feel her breath coming in short bursts. We stand patiently as quiet chatter fills the air around us and I can't keep my eyes off that hanger, wondering, my hand going to my back pocket to feel that the letter and picture were still there.
Hearing a loud "Hooyah" cheer, my hand squeezes Rosas' as I spot the marching forms exiting the hanger, heading for us. My heart jumped into my throat, the knot growing by the second as I see them getting closer. My palms start to sweat when I can pick out Chad, second in line, his helmet under his arm like the others and his little ponytail bouncing as he marches. Rosa squeezes my hand, "Be strong," she whispers, then releases my fingers with a slight smile on her face.
They stopped their march just feet from the end of the line of women, French issuing a deep order to face right, their heads turning our way. They slowly, rhythmically marched down the line and I can see all the women before us issuing nods, smiles and every once in a while a wink. I tried my best to sweetly smile at French, a grin on his lips as he circled past me being the last in line and my heart fluttered at the sight of Chad. I winked at him and he winked back, following French's path. I nodded and smiled at the rest, reaching down to grasp Rosa's fingers once more as the men gathered around the suited commander once more, all standing at attention.
I looked on with tearing eyes as the man issued a resounding 'at ease', the sound of feet shifting in unison audible in the silent pre-dawn air. "Wheels up in five minutes men!" he gruffed, his chin nodding our way, "you're dismissed. Hooyah" They all snapped to attention, issuing a loud "Hooyah" and saluting before turning in unison to face us. My heart was racing, my legs causing me to bounce slightly on my toes with the emotions running through my blood.
I see him! He's staring right at me! His blue eyes are locked on me as he approaches with Reno at his side. My hands go to my chest, trying to still my crazy heart and keep the hurt inside. He gets closer and I can see a slight smile on his face lined with sadness in his eyes. Before I know it, he's in front of me, his face hovering over mine as he looks down at me, his right arm wrapping around my waist and pulling me to him.
Only one thing comes to mind, "Kiss me," I say, almost pleading as I tilt my chin up, rising up on my tip toes.
He thankfully obliges, claiming my mouth and shutting the rest of the world out with his touch. I grip his face, pulling him to me, wanting more and more of him. Wanting this to never end but I know that's impossible. Letting go of his cheek with my right hand I slip it into my back pocket, pulling the letter and photo out and sliding it into the front pouch of his vest, the pocket baring his embroidered name. He releases my lips to look down at my hand placed over the pocket, "Don't read it till later," I breathe out, running my nose along his, kissing him lightly again.
"Be safe," he says, his hand caressing my cheek in the way that makes me want to rip his gear off right here right now. "I'll call and Skype whenever I can," I nod my head, knowing he'll do his best, my hands going to his shoulders, my eyes not meeting his gaze till he grips my chin, turning my face to look at him. "I want to see those beautiful eyes of yours babe," he whispers, a sly grin on his lips getting a short giggle from me, but it’s not from the heart. My heart doesn't feel like giggling.
"I love you," I say, my eyes locked on his as his thumb brushes over my bottom lip. "I love you more than you know," the emotion takes hold and I place my forehead on his, "I love you." His arm wraps around my waist lifting me off the ground as my elbows go to prop my arms up on his shoulders, my fingers rubbing into his gray streaked hair and beard.
"Baby I love you too," he says against my lips, claiming them as his own once more. We both stiffen when we hear the commander call for them to head out, Chad setting my feet on the ground, but I don't let go. I can't let go. My heart won't let me. I start to panic.
"No," I whimper lightly against his lips, grasping his face in my hands. My eyes snap open to see him staring at me, pain and sorrow just behind the blue. I muster all the strength I have when Rosa's words play through my head, "Chadwick Payne, I am your fiancée and I love you more than life itself. Be safe," I kiss him hard, releasing him to stand straight, placing his helmet on his head. I give him a little smile and reach up and buckle it for him.
"I will and I love you," he kissed me again and I let my lips follow hi
m, pulling me from my place next to Rosa, her hand reaching out and grasping mine. "I'll be seeing you."
Damn emotions! I scream in my head as tears fill my eyes, "I'll be seeing you!" I call after him, my voice shaky, waving slightly as he turns around with a wink, walking away with Reno towards the large transport awaiting their team.
Oh God, my mind screams, oh God. My heart feels like it’s being ripped out slowly, little paper cuts severing it from my body and my hand clutches at my chest, the tears streaming down my cheeks. My breath hitches, coming in short and panicked bursts.
I try to calm, taking in a ragged breath and Rosa's arm goes around my shoulders pulling me into her side, "It's okay now," she whispers and I can hear the strain, looking up I can see her tears. "We can cry now," she chokes out and I sob, the sound matched by some of the others around us, leaning into one another as I leaned into Rosa. My eyes were watery but I watched Chad until Reno and him walked up the ramp into the plane, disappearing from view, seconds later the hatch slowly rising.
The large engines of the plane roar to life, causing a loud ringing in my ears to start and I can see the aircraft slowly start to creep away. That's my heart, I cry to myself, and he's walking away. "My heart," I whimper, wrapping my arms around Rosa's waist, pulling her tight to me, "I'm watching it walk away."
"Fly away," she murmurs, her cheek on the top of my head, "we're watching them fly away." The tears return as we both sigh, the other women gathering closer to us. "We're gonna pray now Rhea," Rosa says and I nod, not releasing her hand as we turn to finish forming a tight circle.
As I look around the circle, their faces were red, streaked with tears, their hands shaky as they reached out for one another. I had Rosa's hand and a plump middle aged woman came up to my right side, her warm hand slipping into mine. She had a little girl with her, about five or six, and she gave me a tearful smile that I returned before turning my gaze back to the middle of the circle. The woman directly across from me looked to be in her late thirties and she cleared her throat, rolling her shoulders as we all bowed our heads.
Two Weeks With a SEAL (The Wakefield Romance Series) Page 19