Quinn held out his arms for her, and I reluctantly handed her over. She flopped against his chest, sucking her thumb. Her eyes closed, and her breathing slowed. His expression had morphed in the past five minutes from shock to astonishment to joyful acceptance.
I moved my chair closer to him and reached out for Kimi’s pudgy hand. She curled her fingers around mine, and I realized for the first time that this was real. This beautiful, perfect, baby girl could be ours.
Poloma rose. “I’ll let you two talk alone for a while. You can let me know your decision when you’re ready.” She cocked a thumb toward Kitty. “And my daughter can show me why those birds are so angry.”
I realized with a start that my cheeks were soaked. With shaking hands, I brushed away the tears and smiled at Quinn, watching Poloma saunter slowly toward her daughter.
He whispered with reverence now, for fear of waking Kimi. “Kimi. The secret.”
I touched the little girl’s soft arm and sighed. “She never told us who the father was.”
Quinn frowned. “I know. I’m wondering if…”
“If it was Big Fred?”
“Yeah. I guess we’ll never know for sure.”
“I guess. But who cares? This innocent little sweetie will never need to know. And if she’s got your blood in her veins, she’ll turn out just fine.”
“You think?” He grinned now, a huge I’m-going-to-be-a-daddy grin.
My tears flowed again, and I smiled through a salty curtain. “You’ll be a wonderful father, Quinn. I know you will.”
He beamed at me. “Then I guess we don’t have much deciding to do, huh?”
I sounded like a delirious loon when I half-chuckled and wept. “No, honey. It’s a done deal. I want this baby. You want this baby. Look how relaxed she is with you. It’s as if she knows you’re family.” I hiccupped another sob. “And it feels so incredibly right, doesn’t it?”
He nodded, rubbing Kimi’s back in small circles. “I just hope Ruby and Dak don’t get too jealous.”
At the mention of his name, Dak looked up at me with his huge brown eyes, tongue lolling and tail thumping the shale beach.
I reached down to stroke his ears. “Don’t worry, schnookums. You’ll still be my special boy.”
He licked my hand and nuzzled against me, then plopped his head back on my feet.
Quinn gently shifted in his seat. “We can do this. Right?” A shiver of nerves seemed to flit over him. “Can’t we?”
The incredible joy of the moment surged through me, breaking through barriers of disbelief. This baby, this precious, wonderful, sweet little baby, would be ours.
I held out my arms to him. “Are you kidding, big guy? I was born for this. Now, let me hold my daughter.”
- The End -
Acknowledgments
Huge thanks to Sonya Bateman, Joan H. Young, Linda Bonney Olin, Sheila Deeth, Colleen Kendzierski, Sonia R. Martinez, Joan Miller, Nancy Robinson, Gabriela Scholter, Edith Thurmond, and Robin Waldrop, my critique partners and Beta Readers who provided extraordinary editing assistance.
A special thanks to Arlene Pineleaf Kobylinski for teaching me about Indian lore and customs. Pineleaf is of Cherokee descent and is a Native American historian. I will forever be grateful for all the wonderful traditions she shared with me. Thank you, Pineleaf!
My deepest gratitude also goes to Lisa Marie Losey for introducing me to
Young Living Oils. My life has been fundamentally changed since I’ve discovered these wonderful oils, and I’ll always be grateful to you for teaching me about the joys of natural healing.
Many thanks also go to Jill Young and Kathy Kouwe for their educational
conferences and meetings that teach about the benefits of Young Living Oils.
Thank you, Kathy, for reading the story up front and for your encouragement.
A very special thank you to Dr. Gary Young, of Young Living Essential Oils, for his insight, strength, fortitude, and vision. The world is a decidedly better place because of you.
To my good friend Anne K. Edwards, I thank you for always being there, always
reading my stuff, and consistently writing great reviews. Please check out her books
here: http://www.twilighttimesbooks.com/Authors.html#Edwards.
Betrayal: a Tall Pines Mystery, #4
Betrayal
A Tall Pines Mystery, #4
Aaron Paul Lazar
Dedication
To Anna and Eugene Sorkin, owners of the now famous Tall Pines cabin in Hope, New York, which inspired this series. Thank you for your generosity and kindness. You have been so good to Dale and me, we will always be grateful.
May you forever hear the comforting murmurs and soothing sounds of the Sacandaga River, no matter where your travels take you.
Chapter 1
Losing a child is like losing your soul. Only worse. Especially when you’ve waited your whole life for her.
The judge let me keep Kimi for six months, then abruptly decided there was someone more suitable to raise her: her dead father’s sister, who’d come out of nowhere to drop the bomb on us.
I still couldn’t believe it.
Six months of cuddling, nurturing, bathing with tear-free shampoo, washing her tiny outfits with special detergent. Six months of watching her toddle uncertainly toward her favorite black bear teddy, listening to her squeals of delight when Quinn dropped on all fours to play with her.
I pulled the child closer to me, nuzzling her soft curls and holding her chubby hand in mine. She relaxed against me, her dark eyes turned up to mine as if she knew something was wrong.
I held back the sobs.
Six months was not long enough.
With a shaking hand, I reached for my Young Living “Valor” essential oil blend in the roll-on bottle. I uncapped it and rolled it along one wrist, then the other. Legend says the oils used by Roman troops before battle are combined in this blend, and I knew I’d need all the strength I could muster to get through this dark day.
Dak, my Bernese Mountain Dog puppy, lapped my hand. He’d stuck close to me all morning, knowing I was falling apart. I reached down to pat him. “Thanks, Dak. At least you still love me.” His tail thumped the carpet.
I saw the car turn into the driveway and park by the garage. Quinn’s Aunt Paloma and a female officer with a clipboard emerged.
Quinn called from downstairs. “They’re here.”
I bristled, ignoring him.
I’d never forgive him for going along with this.
I traced my fingers gently along the soft cheeks of my baby girl. “Sweet angel. My beautiful little princess.”
She reached for my necklace, tugging. “Mama?”
I almost lost it again, and knew the grief was bubbling up fast. It wouldn’t be long before I was a weeping monster. “Mama loves you, baby girl.”
I loosed a shivery sigh and danced her doll on my knees to distract her. “There you go. Look at your baby.”
She reached for the doll and giggled. “Bee bee.”
Quinn’s footsteps on the stairs were slow and barely audible, but I heard them. When I sensed his presence in the doorway, I stiffened, still facing out the window with Kimi in my lap.
“Marcella? My aunt’s here.” He approached, touching my shoulder.
I shrugged him off. “I’m coming.”
I couldn’t meet his eyes, those gorgeous turquoise eyes that had deceived and betrayed me. I’d never look at him the same way again, this husband of mine who was supposed to love me, put me first. This man I’d made love to thousands of times. This man I’d cuddled and comforted when he hurt.
I thought back to the day he discovered Kimi’s mother Birdie had been murdered by Paloma’s husband. Oh, he’d needed plenty of comforting. And I’d seen to it. I’d taken good care of my man.
This man. I seethed inside.
This horrible man.
I stood and looked at him. How could I have thought he was so handsome? So gorge
ous? Such an endearing Indian brave?
This man—this stranger—was about to let the Seneca Nation steal my child. Take her back after they’d given her to us to raise six short months ago.
So much for promises. Allegiance. He cared more about his roots than me, his own wife.
I stood with Kimi clutched in my arms. I didn’t trust the words that might spill from my mouth, so I pushed past him out to the hall. Dak followed at my heels.
Six months was not enough time to fulfill my lifelong dream of being a mother. But it was more than enough time to fall in love with Kimi. Heck, I’d done that on the first day.
Six months.
Oh. And it was plenty of time to learn to hate my husband.
***
Paloma’s eyes filled as she watched me dress Kimi in her new pink snowsuit.
My hands shook. My jaw clenched. I couldn’t speak.
She handed me the fuzzy pink hat, pressing my fingers with hers. “You know, Marcella, we’re so sorry about this. We never thought Fred’s sister would want to raise the baby. I don’t know how she found out about him…er…raping Birdie. Word got around the reservation, I guess.” She locked troubled eyes with mine. “Even though it was a terrible thing Fred did, Winona is Kimi’s blood aunt.”
We’d learned many secrets last October. Paloma’s brutal husband Fred had attacked and impregnated poor Birdie, my husband’s childhood sweetheart, who turned out to actually be his half-sister. We’d learned that Quinn’s father—a British playwright—had apparently enjoyed wandering the reservation, having affairs with other Seneca women, cheating on his mother, White Dawn. I wondered how many other children in Quinn’s generation had inherited Palmer Hollister’s turquoise eyes.
Birdie had been raising Kimi alone before Fred killed her to keep her quiet. She’d witnessed too many of his secrets and threatened his political future. It had been an awful mess, and the only good thing that had come of all of it was Paloma offering Kimi for Quinn and me to bring up as our own little girl.
I tied the hat under Kimi’s chin, slowly making a perfect bow.
Is this the last time I’ll dress her?
My heart squeezed.
I couldn’t breathe.
Dak jumped on the couch and snuggled beside us, pushing me with his nose. I fervently wished my husband were as empathetic as my dog.
Paloma clucked with sympathy. “You know you can visit her, honey. My sister-in-law has agreed to that.”
“I know.” Sure. One visit on the first Sunday of each month. That’ll be just great. Thank you, Winona.
Quinn stood in the corner speaking with the officer. He glanced at me, then lowered his eyes, turning back to her.
I remembered the look on his face when I told him I wanted to fight for custody, the day we got word that we’d have to go to court.
He’d been quiet. Reserved. All-knowing. I’d screamed at him when he didn’t agree, and he’d looked at me as if I were an outsider. “It will be good for her to be raised Seneca, among her own people.”
Her people? For God’s sake, what about him? He was Birdie’s half-brother. Wasn’t that her people? And why couldn’t I be “her people?” Wasn’t that bigotry? Just because I wasn’t Native American? Was my mishmash of Spanish, Irish, and German heritage not good enough?
Kimi squirmed when I turned her on my lap to put on her boots. She pulled herself up and stood on my lap, laying her head against my chest as if tired of the whole ordeal.
I hugged her, memorizing every part of her: her dark eyes that sparkled with life, her soft mop of black hair, her sweet mouth that curved like a pink ribbon, and the scent of baby shampoo. I inhaled it once more, slowly. I kissed her cheeks, over and over again. “I love you, Kimi.”
She reached for her doll, and held it while I tugged on her snow boots.
“Tell Winona she needs her baby doll at nap and bedtime. She can’t sleep without her.”
Paloma nodded with a sad smile. “Of course.”
Quinn appeared at my side with two packed bags of baby things we’d amassed over the past six months. I hadn’t heard him move, but he was like that. He could steal across a room before you noticed.
I glanced up.
Although his face remained stoic, sadness simmered in his eyes. He reached down to pat Kimi’s hair. “She will be raised among her people. She’ll learn our customs.”
I huffed, rolled my eyes, and stood with Kimi in my arms, walking to the sliding glass doors facing Honeoye Lake. “I just need a minute with her,” I said to no one in particular.
They let me go, but I felt their eyes burning my back.
I walked to the shore. The cold March breeze blew my hair around my face, biting my flushed cheeks. Whitecaps raked the slate beach with a slapping sound. Together, Kimi and I faced south, where the three purple hills sulked silently against a gray sky, as if astonished at the injustice of it all.
Somehow, I knew they’d be on my side.
“Sweetie. I promise you, I will do everything in my power to get you back. I’ll go to court. I’ll get a high-priced lawyer.” I brushed back my tears. “I know I’m not your blood, baby cakes, but I love you more than anyone could.”
A pair of Canada geese landed near the dock.
“Duck,” she said with a delighted squeal.
I’d taught her that word last week. At this point a goose was as good as a duck in her world. “Yes, baby. That’s a duck.”
I turned back to the house and straightened my shoulders.
I can do this.
Chapter 2
My mother, who insists I call her Thelma, arrived home just as Paloma and the officer drove away with Kimi. She’d been staying at her friend Fran’s house to help nurse her for a few weeks after Fran’s heart surgery.
I love my mother. But she can be annoying at times, and I wished she’d stayed away for longer. I needed my space. And I had to figure out what to do with my life. Especially with Quinn.
She trotted into the house trailing her wheeled case behind her. “Marcella?”
I’d crumpled into a heap by the couch, my head buried in my arms. The sobs wouldn’t stop now. They came in gulping waves, ripping through my bruised heart and emerging in embarrassing shudders and wails.
“Marcella, honey.” She dumped her bag by the door and sat on the couch, patting my head. “You knew this was coming, dear.”
Not what I wanted to hear.
Out of the corner of my blurry vision, I saw her beckon to Quinn, who leaned down to whisper in her ear. The two had been thick as thieves since the summer, as weird as that was. Sometimes I pictured them like Mrs. O’Brien and Thomas in Downton Abbey, my new latest craze.
Quinn put an arm around me. “Marcella, honey. It’ll be okay.”
I shrugged him off, sobbing with ferocious intensity. “No. It. Won’t.” I got up and stumbled to the armchair, rocking and hiding my face in my arms. “Leave me alone. Please.”
My mother tried again. “Sweetie pie, you’ve still got your puppy. Look. He wants to help you.”
I cracked one watery eye open and reached down for Dak, who lumbered into my lap and licked my cheeks. I hugged him close, loving the warmth of his big body sprawling over me.
I used to love Quinn in almost the same way.
I stole a glance at him.
To his credit, a frown creased his brow and he looked worried about me. “Babe. You wanna go upstairs? Rest a bit?”
My mother piped up. “I’ll bring you a cup of tea. You can read that book you just ordered on your Kindle.”
We’d all bought Kindles over the summer, and now we hoarded eBooks by the dozen.
Quinn tried again. “Marcella? Do you—”
I stood abruptly and snapped at him. “Stop. Just stop. I’m going up, so you won’t have to listen to me. But I don’t want either of you coming with me.” I started toward the stairs, then shot a wild-eyed stare at Quinn. “You’re sleeping on the couch tonight.”
I was
about to huff up the stairs when the house phone rang.
Quinn picked it up in the kitchen, turned hurt eyes toward me, and brandished the portable handset. “It’s for you. Callie.”
I loosed a long sigh and stretched an arm toward him. He strode toward me and set it gently in my hand.
I snatched it from him and slumped onto a stair, leaning away from him toward the railing. “Callie?”
“Marcella? Honey, is that you?”
“It’s me.”
“You sound funny.”
“I know.” I glanced toward Quinn with malice. “They just took Kimi.”
“Oh, Marcie. I’m so sorry. Are you okay?”
“No. Not really.”
“Use your oils. I think Sacred Frankincense would be good for you right now.” She paused for a minute. “You wanna come up here for some coddling? Copper and I would take good care of you.”
I patted Dak’s soft ears. He’d settled awkwardly on the steps beneath me. “I was planning on coming up to Tall Pines, anyway.”
Quinn snapped his head toward me. We hadn’t discussed this.
“Really, honey? Oh, good. I’d love to see you again. It’s been six months since we saw you.”
There’s that six months again.
I stood, raising my voice so Quinn and my mother could hear me. “Yes. I’m packing now and will be up there by suppertime.”
We said our goodbyes and I headed upstairs, once again feeling eyes on my back. I knew I’d shaken them up, and it felt good.
Quinn followed me upstairs.
I grabbed a suitcase out of the hall closet, thumped it on my bed, and started crying again, softly this time.
He stood behind me. “Marcella.”
“What?” I said through gritted teeth. “You want to tell me again how Kimi will be better off?”
“I—I just want you to know I’m sorry.”
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