by Ivy Smoak
"You should be. I almost got you killed, remember?"
I laughed.
He immediately groaned. "Fuck that feels good." He kissed me again, softly this time, as he pulled out of me and set me down on my feet.
"You caught me."
"I told you that I would. I'm true to my word."
I suddenly felt so exposed. He never let me see him, but he always seemed to get all my clothing off me. I grabbed my shorts and pulled them back up.
"Are you true to yours?"
I looked back up at him. "Yes."
He shook his head and took a step toward me. "You tried to leave." His voice sounded hurt.
"What?"
"You promised me that you wouldn't leave the city. And you got a bus ticket anyway."
"I was trying to protect you."
"No, you were trying to get yourself killed."
"Don't pretend to be in my head when you're not."
"But I am in there." He leaned down until his masked forehead was resting against mine. "Aren't I? You're certainly stuck in mine."
I swallowed hard as he took a step back from me.
"Now, I either need you to go home, or go to Liza's."
Home? "I thought you wanted me to stay."
He stared at me for a moment. "Of course I do."
I wasn't sure why he seemed confused by my statement. "Then I'll go to Liza's."
He slipped a folded piece of paper into my hand. "Her address is on that paper. Tell her I asked for her to help you."
"But can't I stay with you?"
"I already gave you your two options. Liza will help you. And ask her to check your wrist."
"My wrist is fine." It was my side that was sore. I slammed against it pretty hard when I jumped straight into a brick wall.
He ran his thumb along my bottom lip. "Do you trust me?"
Not really. Instead, I found myself nodding my head.
"Good. Now, I have something I need to take care of."
"But I have a million questions. Last night..." I let my voice trail off as he walked over to the window, clearly ignoring me. "Are you at least going to tell me who those guys were?"
"I'm still working on all the answers." He stepped onto the windowsill and leapt out into the night.
I ran to the windowsill and peered down below. But he was gone.
Chapter 6
Saturday
It was past one in the morning by the time I was standing outside Liza's apartment building. I lifted my hand to touch the number for her apartment when it beeped at me.
"What are you still doing here?!" Her voice sounded shrill over the intercom.
"I..."
"Jesus, stop talking. Get up here before someone sees you." The door buzzed.
I grabbed the handle and felt a sigh of relief escape me as the door locked behind me. The vigilante said I'd be safe here. And I already felt significantly better than I had when I was walking through the city. The building was nice. The floors were marble on the way toward the elevators. I was expecting something less extravagant. Was this Liza's actual home?
I looked up at the small camera in the corner of the elevator as I stepped on. It seemed to swivel slightly so that it was pointed directly at me. Most likely, it was her. But I still turned away from it. I didn't want anyone to follow me to her apartment like they had followed me to my hotel room.
As soon as the doors dinged open, I walked down the hallway. There were no lights flickering or rats scurrying by. The carpets were clean, the walls freshly painted, and there was a pleasant smell in the hallway.
"This way!" Liza hissed from behind me.
I spun around. If I thought she had looked mad at me the last time I had seen her, then I didn't know what mad was. She had her hand on her hip and her hair was askew. It actually looked like her nostrils were flaring.
"Come on," she said and gestured for me to hurry the hell up.
I stopped a few feet in front of her, almost scared to get closer.
"Why would you come to my home?! How did you even find me? You're supposed to be gone, what are you doing here?" She pushed me into her apartment before I had a chance to answer her assault of questions. "Well?"
"The vigilante told me it was okay."
"Well, he didn't ask me." She pushed her glasses up her nose as she glared at me. "You keep...waking me up!"
"I'm sorry. I tried to leave. I bought the bus ticket out of here and everything, but then..."
She held up her hand for me to stop talking. "Did he at least say something about me?"
"Who? The vigilante?"
"Yes the vigilante! Who else?!"
Whoa, calm down. "He knew your name."
"That's it?" She pursed her lips as she waited for my response.
It only took me a second to realize the look she was giving me. It was the same look Kins had on her face when she talked about Miles. Liza liked the vigilante. As more than just a hero, which is what her blog claimed was the reason for her writing. Crap. My realization had just made things incredibly awkward. I couldn't imagine her throwing a fit like Kins did when she saw me almost kiss Miles, but I wasn't going to risk it.
"He said I'd be safe here, so he definitely trusts you."
A small smile spread across her face as she turned away from me. "I need something to drink. Do you need something to drink?"
"Um...no, I'm okay."
"You can't make me drink alone. You're the only reason I'm up." She walked into the kitchen and grabbed two glasses out of the cupboard.
I looked around at the granite counter tops and stainless steel appliances. "Your place is really nice."
"Yes, it is." She slid a glass toward me.
I didn't even know what was in it. But she wasn't looking at me like she wanted to kill me anymore, and I didn't want to upset her again. I took a small sip and it burned my throat.
"You're in a shitload of trouble."
I looked at her over the brim of my glass. With her? "I really am sorry that I came..."
"Not with me. Don Roberts has gone dark."
"I don't know what that means."
She rolled her eyes at me and opened up a drawer filled with forks and knives. She shoved the bin holding the utensils to the back of the drawer and pulled out a laptop.
Who keeps a laptop in their utensil drawer?
She set the laptop down on the kitchen counter like what she had just done wasn't weird at all. "I'm talking about this."
I walked around the kitchen island so I could see the screen she was pointing to. It was just the homepage for the Colorado Post. There was nothing wrong with it. "It looks fine."
Her index finger shifted to the line of text that said, "Your search for Don Roberts did not match any results."
I looked back at her. "I know. His record's been cleared. And I guess the case got dropped?"
"No, not dropped. It disappeared. Along with his rap sheet. It all vanished. With him."
"He's gone?" For the first time all day I felt a little hope.
"Yes. I've been watching the feeds all day. He hasn't been spotted on any cameras since last night. I thought he followed you out of the city."
I swallowed hard.
"But then I saw you check into a hotel room like a freaking amateur so I knew you didn't leave." She set her glass down on the counter and stared at me expectantly.
"I'm sorry, Liza. I have no idea what you want me to say."
She pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose. "A thank you will suffice for starters."
"I am grateful for you letting me stay here..."
"Not that. After you left my place last night, I kept digging because I still wanted to help the vigilante once you were gone."
Harsh.
"And do you know what I found out?"
"Something useful I guess?"
"Obviously." She narrowed her eyes at me. "I found out that your identity was stolen."
What? "I don't get it, who would want to steal
my identity?"
"No, you misunderstood me. No one stole your identity. You stole someone else's."
"What are you talking about?"
"Sadie Davis is a real person. And she looks almost exactly like you. Same brown hair and brown eyes. Same height. Same birthday as you, minus the year." She turned her screen toward me.
There was video footage of a woman stepping onto a subway car. It was in black and white and slightly grainy, but I could still make out the similarities. Honestly, if someone had shown me this picture, I might have thought it was me. "I don't..." my voice trailed off. Something seemed to catch in my throat as the woman turned to face the doors as they closed. She looked almost exactly like me. Which meant she looked like my mom. It was like time stopped as I watched the subway car drive away. I knew that my mom had red hair and blue eyes like me. But in this black and white image, the similarities were uncanny. I knew it wasn't her. But it still felt like I had seen a ghost.
"She's one of Don Roberts' associates. I think that maybe they needed a scapegoat if things went south or something. That's probably why he changed your name when he adopted you."
It felt like my veins were filled with ice. "Don never adopted me."
Liza lowered her eyebrows slightly. "Yes he did. In 2012."
"No." I shook my head. "No he didn't."
"I can show you the paperwork..."
"He didn't adopt me!" My voice seemed to echo around the apartment. This wasn't possible. This couldn't be happening.
"I read the articles before they disappeared." For the first time she actually sounded like she felt bad for me. "I know what he did to you." She put her hand on top of mine.
"Don't touch me." I took a step away from her. I had a father. A wonderful, perfect, loving father. How dare Don tarnish that? It's like he had somehow taken that away from me too. Like he had pissed on my father's grave. He adopted me? I put my hand on my forehead. That disgusting asshole.
"I can tell that you don't want to talk anymore tonight."
Then why are you still talking? I turned away from her. I didn't want her to see me cry.
Liza cleared her throat. "But as soon as Roberts went dark, the real Sadie Davis appeared. I did some more digging and there was a huge drug bust out west. I think he went to go clean up the mess. And I think she's here to make things run smoothly in the meantime. Which means you need another name."
"No."
"What?"
"I'm done running. Don isn't here. So I'm going to be here waiting for him whenever he gets back. I'm not scared of whoever that woman is. I can handle her."
"Sadie..."
I turned back toward her. "My name is Summer." I needed someone to call me that. I needed someone to know I was still alive. I needed someone to remind me that I wasn't dead.
"Okay, Summer. There's a guest room down the hall. We can talk more about this in the morning."
Chapter 7
Saturday
Every time I closed my eyes I saw my mother's smiling face. But she was never looking at me. She was always in my father's arms, staring up at him, laughing. For her, the sun rose and set with him. Maybe that's why I had always believed so strongly in love. Maybe it was why I was still so infatuated with Miles after all these years. It was like my love for him was a part of me. It had seeped into my bones. And I did still love him. But I was so mad at him. How could he throw away his life waiting for a girl who disappeared? How could he have stopped living when he still had a choice?
I watched my father dip my mother low as the two of them danced. Why couldn't I remember her smiling at me? Look at me. She smiled back up at my father. They were so happy. They were still so full of life. How could they be gone?
I touched the center of my chest. I wasn't sure I'd ever stop reaching for my pendant that was no longer there. My heart ached. And I knew that I wasn't going to be able to sleep. I pushed the sheets off of me and climbed out of bed.
The cold wood floors made me shiver as I made my way out into the hall. I tiptoed into the kitchen, trying hard not to wake Liza up.
If Don Roberts had adopted me, it meant that he really had never been part of the foster care system.
It meant that Mr. Crawford was a fraud.
Those brief few days where I had felt safe in this city were a lie. Mr. Crawford had sent me here for a reason. He had lied to me for a reason. And it all came back to Don.
I sat down on the stool in front of Liza's computer. She had left it open. I clicked on her blog and read the latest article about the vigilante's good deeds. It was almost like the button to write a new post was calling to me. I clicked on it and started typing feverishly. I wrote about how he had saved me. How he truly was a hero. I ended it with Liza's usual sign off: "Someone in this city is watching us." But I added, "And it's time to unmask him," at the end. I pressed enter and the screen went black.
Static blasted into my ears and then something dark blue appeared on the screen. My eyes focused on a zipper of a hoodie.
It's him.
My heart seemed to knock against my ribcage as the vigilante slowly appeared on the screen. His mask was still on and his hood was still shadowing his face, but the hoodie wasn't zipped all the way up. I could see the very top of his chest. It was almost like he had read what I wrote and was trying to show me more of him.
"Go to sleep. You need your rest," the vigilante's voice rumbled.
"I know why you sent me here. I'm not changing my name. I'm not backing down. I've been weak and cast aside my whole life. I'm done."
"Good. Which is why you need your rest. Goodnight, Sadie."
The name sounded jarring to my ears. He had turned his head slightly away, as if it pained him to hear it too. It almost looked like he was locked behind that screen. Tortured. Tormented. "Tell me your name."
"V."
"And what does that stand for? Vigilante? Something else?"
He lifted his head slightly, but it didn't let me get a better view of him. "Something else."
For some reason his words gave me chills. It was like he thought I should know what it was. But I hadn't the slightest idea. "Thank you for saving me. For catching me when I fell."
He didn't say anything.
"I want to be ready for Don when he comes back. Will you help me?"
"If you delete the article you just wrote."
"Why? It's just the truth. This city deserves to know that you're not the villain."
"I'm not the hero you think I am. And this city isn't ready to see the real me."
"But..."
The screen went black. The article I had written was staring back at me. I had this feeling in the pit of my stomach that I should be scared of the vigilante. Just this small, nagging thought. He tried to tell me to be afraid. But I wasn't. And if I was being honest with myself, I was falling for him. He made me forget about the chaos. When we were together, all I could focus on was him and whatever mystery he was hiding. If he wasn't ready to be exposed for the hero he was, how could I make that decision for him?
I highlighted the article. I couldn't let go of my feelings for Miles. So how was I ever supposed to move on? Did I even want to?
I pressed delete. If only pieces of my own life were so easy to get rid of. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a glimpse of light coming through the window. I stood up and walked over to the windowsill. The moon was shining bright. Without hesitating, I shoved the window up and climbed out onto the fire escape. I put my hands on the metal railing and stared out at the city street below. The wind blew through my hair and I closed my eyes, relishing the familiar feeling. The air even smelled fresh so far above the city. I let out a sigh I didn't realize I had been holding.
Wyoming wasn't my home. Colorado wasn't my home. But New York could be. I could see a future here. Miles. I opened my eyes. He had always been my future. I turned my head up and looked at the few stars visible in the sky.
The problem was that I wasn't the same girl I used to be. He loved Summ
er. He liked Sadie. But he didn't know either one of them. I didn't know either one of them. Maybe one day I'd be whole again. Maybe one day I'd deserve a bright future. I looked down at my hands. But not any time soon. All I could seem to focus on was putting my hands around Don's throat. I had a darkness in me that I wasn't ready to let go. The vigilante didn't judge that. He wanted to help me embrace it.
I gripped the railing and watched my knuckles turn white. Even if killing Don meant living in pain for the rest of my life, it would be worth it. I had already given up on living after he had taken my last shred of hope. I placed one of my hands on my stomach. I knew there was a fine line between vengeance and justice. The only problem was that I didn't care if I crossed it. I wanted vengeance and justice. I'd go to the ends of the earth to destroy Don.
I let my tears stream down my cheeks. Years ago, I told myself I'd follow Miles to the ends of the earth. Time didn't heal anything. It just changed us. It ruined us. I would never be that carefree girl he had fallen for. I needed to give him up. I needed to learn how to walk down that hall without stopping at his door. I needed to re-imagine a future without him. And I needed to accept the fact that my life didn't necessarily have a happy ending. Because after all was said and done, I might be the one living behind bars for the rest of my life. That's what crossing the line resulted in. But I had already stepped over it and there was no going back.
Chapter 8
Saturday
"You really don't think it's possible that Don changed those records too?"
Liza was silent as she sipped her coffee.
Apparently she didn't think my question deserved an answer. And she was right. I had already asked it five times in different ways. Don really had adopted me. It made my skin crawl. It made me feel like he owned me. "Can't I get emancipated or something?"
"I don't really understand why you're so fixated on this. It doesn't really matter."
"It matters to me."
She shook her head. "Well, you can't exactly just call up a lawyer and file a suit. You're legally dead now, remember? And if for some reason that wasn't an issue, the stolen identity would be. What we should be focusing on is why Don found it necessary to turn you into a criminal. He left a very clear cyber footprint on the death certificate. It makes it look like you pretended to die and then stole this Sadie Davis person's identity."