“Don’t you dare speak to me. Don’t apologize. I want no part of it,” I shouted, the people in the immediate vicinity startled at the new outburst of harsh words. I could tell this was something they had never once seen before. Not a single ounce of violence had penetrated these walls despite what was made above their heads and what they stood for. Caius opened his mouth to speak, but I held up my hand to stop him. “Don’t. Not right now. I can’t even look at you.” With that I turned to the doctor and straightened as a fresh river of tears sprung from my eyes, pulling down my damp black shirt to straighten it against my fevered flesh. “Now, Doctor, lead the way.”
Adelaide stiffened and pulled at the lapels of her lab coat, pulling them together as if she was cold. “Yes, please, come this way.” Her eyes flicked to Caius, and he waved a hand at her in a silent exchange. She was checking to see if he was alright, and he was assuring her he was just fine. At that point, I didn’t care.
I was the first to leave him behind when the doctor took us down the hallway, making one more right turn before stopping halfway down in front of two shining white doors, slick and polished, so they reflected the light above our heads.
“Thank you, Doctor,” Julius said as she nodded and turned to move away from us.
“Wait,” I said before she had a chance to walk away. She stopped and turned toward me, her eyes shooting to mine with speculation in them. And she cringed as if she was preparing for her assault next. I rubbed my tears away and took a step toward her, keeping my hands at my sides so she could see them and know she hadn’t done anything to deserve my rage. “I’m sorry about my outburst, Doctor Devi. I’m not normally this emotional.”
Her face warmed then, a weak smile spreading across her lips in understanding. “That’s quite alright. You’ve been through a lot as of late. Now,” she paused, looking at the two men behind me, “get some rest, and we will have more of a chance to speak in the morning and get you guys on the road. If you all are hungry, I will have some food brought to you.”
“Thank you, Doctor. We’d really appreciate that,” I replied, genuinely thankful she didn’t take my outburst personally. I was also grateful that she wasn’t afraid of me any longer. I did truly feel awful for what I had done in front of her, but it was a response I couldn’t have stopped. Not even if I wanted to.
“And are you certain you don’t need me to examine you? I can even send another doctor or come back and see to you personally.”
“We’re sure, Doctor. Thank you. We’d just like to rest,” Ryder said as I felt his warmth at my back, his hand coming to land on my shoulder. Her gorgeous brown eyes scanned us, her smile widening as her perfect white teeth peeked through.
She then nodded in understanding and took a deep breath to steady herself, the stress evident in the set of her shoulders and how her lips became a straight line across her face. “Alright. I will have someone bring you something to eat, and I’ll also send someone to come by and retrieve you in the morning. There are clean clothes in a cabinet in your room by the bed. Have a good night.” She waved and sauntered away, her white lab coat billowing out behind her as she made her away down the hall like a cape. Kind of like she was a superhero.
With a deep breath, I turned back to Ryder, who moved toward one of the doors that Adelaide had shown us without being told. Julius opened the one on the left and moved through the threshold and into the bright light beyond it.
“Goodnight,” I said to him, hoping he heard me. He looked over his shoulder and smiled, the grin not reaching his eyes as they crinkled slightly at the corners.
“Goodnight, Mila. And hey,” his smile grew even wider as he stared at me, “try not to punch anyone else, huh?”
I choked back a laugh and replied, “I’ll give it my best shot, but you know me.”
He nodded. “That I do. At least wait until it’s one of King’s guy or Nero.”
“You’ve got it.”
Julius laughed a little and shut the door gently behind him, a barely audible click sounding as it closed and he locked the door. After staring at the closed door for even just a moment, Ryder cleared his throat and motioned through the doorway of the room we were to be staying in for the night. We were only going to be allowed the night here, and we needed to make the best use of the room that we could, which meant getting some food in our stomachs and sleeping like a rock. I was looking forward to the night of hopefully uninterrupted sleep the most. Shaking my head to rid myself of any unwanted thoughts, I followed him into the room. He closed the door as I entered, taking a look at our surroundings. The walls were white and sterile just like the rest of the place. There was only one bed in the room. A full sized bed covered in white sheets and a paper-thin blanket that didn’t look warm at all, a slight chill in the air. And the large cabinet next to it that Adelaide had promised was full of clean clothes. To the right there was another door, this one just as crisp and clean as the one we had just walked through. Everything reminded me of King’s compound, and I was attempting to ignore it as my heart wrenched in my chest.
I reached out with a shaking hand and gripped the handle, turning it to take a peek inside of the room, flipping the switch I found just on the inside. The room was just as clean as the one we were in and, from my own observations, the rest of the place looked just like it. It was too much, reminding me of the compound where I had been experimented on and poked and prodded like a lab rat. A shiver ran up my spine. The porcelain of the toilet gleamed in the fluorescent light above, the tile just as bright as the rest of the room. Clear glass except for a portion that led into the shower was placed on the far side of the room, the silver of the shower head and the rest of the equipment glaring at me. It was too clean, too sterile. Too much. I backed away from it and sat on the edge of the bed, trying my best not to even look at the room as my gaze met the wall. A wall of broad chest came to be in front of me and when I looked up, Ryder’s grassy green eyes were looking down at me. He knelt down and took my hands in his, his mouth opening slightly before he spoke.
“If it helps, this place reminds me of the compound too,” he confided as I stared at him.
My gaze fell to our linked hands as I took another deep breath, not even realizing I had stopped breathing altogether once I had seen it.
“How do you feel about a shower?” he asked.
When I lifted my face to him, I laughed and squeezed his hands. “Is that an innocent request?”
The corner of his mouth lifted in a smirk, and his shoulders rose as he chuckled. “Only if you want it to be.”
I leaned forward and placed my lips softly on his, a soft groan escaping from between his parted lips and when I pulled back his eyes were hooded. They opened, and they were so bright underneath the lights it took my breath away, a hunger crossing over his features that I fully understood. A hunger to feel safe and protected and loved. I understood it because I needed it too. And badly after what we had been through. His large hand released mine and came up to touch my face, caressing my cheek lovingly as I turned into his palm and nuzzled into his warm and callused flesh, closing my eyes as I breathed him in. The scent of male musk and the forest was a heady mixture that caused my heart to race and my breath to hitch. His other hand came to rest on my other cheek, moving down to the nape of my neck and, when I opened my eyes again, his face was mere centimeters from my own. Our breaths mingled in a warm tangle of air in the chilled atmosphere around us.
“God, I love you,” he breathed, the words stroking my skin as they moved over me with the exhale. He leaned forward and placed his lips on mine again, softly at first as the hunger of our passions grew, the rage and the fear taking over in a primal urge so animal a growl rumbled deep in his chest.
The stubble on his jaw made him look even more ruggedly handsome, and I couldn’t help but think that I didn’t want him to shave it off because the rough feel of it against my
skin was pure Heaven. His hands grazed every inch of exposed flesh until they came to my hips, pulling me closer to him as I sat on the bed. My arms wrapped around his neck as my knees parted, making way for him to get closer. Yielding to him. His hands moved to my thighs as we kissed, pulling me up against him as he picked me up with ease. The strength of him as his muscles moved against me made my heart race even faster, knowing where this was going. There was barely any air in the room as the heat of him pressed against me, my legs wrapping around his waist as he walked us into the bathroom, pushing me up against the wall of glass that separated us from the shower. He lowered me, sliding me down the barrier until my feet touched the floor and he pulled away.
“Scalding?” he asked, breathing so hard it pushed my hair away from my face.
The sly grin forced its way onto my face. “You know it.”
He turned away from me and stalked toward the opening, all predatory power and sleek muscles moving underneath flawless sun-kissed flesh. There was an electric trill as his finger grazed what looked like a touch pad, turning on the water in a blazing spray, steam billowing from the entrance within seconds. I watched his muscles move as he turned back to me, his eyes full of the same passion I had seen in the forest before everything went to Hell and I knew, no matter what happened next, that ache was never going to fade.
Chapter
SEVENTEEN
I stood in the lab within the compound. The same one where I had been forced to murder one of my best friends. Cato had been like a brother me, and his death still weighed heavily on my shoulders. Especially with his constant visits within my mind, but this was different. The room felt hollow, quiet as I stared at the sterile white walls surrounding me. I wasn’t dressed in the same scrubs they had put me in during my stay there. I was in a white, flowing chiffon dress that reached the floor, trailing behind me in a long train that seemed to stretch all the way to the back of the room. I knew this was the same room even though the metal chair I had been confined to was gone, as well as the rest of the equipment that had been in the room with me at the time. I felt it in my bones and in my muscles, my body remembering this place so vividly there was no way I’d ever forget it. I had been tested here, pushed beyond my limits to the point of cracking; just waiting for the right moment and the right thing to finally break me into a million tiny pieces, but I had somehow remained whole. Driven by purpose. And it wasn’t for a lack of trying.
I looked around the room, my feet stuck in place on the floor as if something was holding me there, so all I could do was turn my torso. My feet were bare, the floor cold as the soles of my feet adjusted to the chill. Even the one window that had adorned one wall was gone leaving me to stare at a clean, white space where the only thing of color in the room was me, my dark hair and green eyes a bright pop of color and filth amongst the sterility. It was what made me different. Unique even. That was until Emerson King entered the room, appearing from no particular place of origin that I could see. Not even a door graced this space. His dark hair was slicked back, his dark eyes penetrating mine, his body sheathed in a sleek black suit with a white button-down shirt underneath with the top buttons open to reveal his perfect throat. King’s smooth movements brought him to stand in front of me, his stare never once leaving mine as a smirk crept across his lips. The same one I had seen more than once and would always remember as long as I lived.
My breath caught in my throat as I glared at him, but he never wavered. He crossed his arms over his chest and linked his hands in front of him, back stick straight as he stood at complete attention just like his soldiers I had seen at the compound in his presence. So many of them bending to his will despite knowing what he was doing was wrong. Even knowing what the end game was, they still followed him blindly and Nero had been pulled into his trap. He hadn’t cared to see what was happening under the surface or why Cato had fallen. All he knew was my betrayal, and it didn’t matter to Nero the reason it had been done. The smile on King’s face broadened when I didn’t say anything to him, attempting not to acknowledge his presence as best I could. He was a stain of evil amongst the purity of this room that could never be washed clean.
“You have to do it, Mila. You have to,” a voice in my head whispered. A voice I knew all too well that was turning into a chorus of various tones. Cato’s voice turned from just the cries of one to the cries of many, echoing in my ears and bouncing off of the walls as if they were coming from all directions. My ears rang, but my gaze never left King’s penetrating stare no matter how loud the voices became. “Do it.”
“Do what?” I asked to no one in particular, the sounds barely registering in my shattered right eardrum. “I don’t know what to do.”
“Do it,” the voices continued like that hadn’t heard my question at all. “Do it.”
I shook my head, panic setting in. The pressure to do something was too much, and I had no idea what it was that they wanted. How could I do something when I didn’t even know what it was? Yet another question that I wouldn’t get the answers to and I knew it with absolute certainty.
“You’re weak. You’re a coward,” King’s deep, resonating voice penetrated the whispers that bombarded me with their insistence.
His lips quirked up into a sneer at that moment that caused a shiver to run up my spine, reaching up from my bare feet all the way up to my scalp, the fine hairs all over my body rising with a prickling sensation. I wanted to rub my arms to rid myself of it, but resisted the temptation.
“You’re weak,” King said once more.
Then I felt something cold and metallic in my hand, the feeling coming out of nowhere. I hadn’t had anything in my palm before, had I? I looked down and opened my hand, a long silver blade with a silver handle lying within it, begging me to use it. But for what? What was I too weak to do? What task were the whispers beckoning me to complete? Then the realization hit my hard, my breath catching in my chest with the thought. The knife fell from my hand as I let it go, landing on the ground with a metallic crescendo and bouncing slightly on the linoleum floor.
The other voices fell away until there was only one, Cato’s words echoing through the room now instead of just inside of my mind.
“Do it, Mila,” he begged me and when I looked down in front of me, King was gone and replaced with Cato’s kneeling form. His deep brown eyes looked up into mine as the horror of what had happened to him registered on his expression, his lips twisted into something I could barely recognize. “Do it.”
“What am I supposed to do?” I asked as I knelt down in front of him, taking his hands within my sweaty palms. I knew the answer now, but I wanted to hear him say it. I had to hear him say it. He watched me with confusion, his brow furrowing and his mouth opening as if he were about to speak. Before he had a chance that all too familiar tone was back, bouncing off of the walls.
“You have to kill him,” King said from behind me, coming around to stand behind Cato. He looked down at us in disgust, the sneer that of pure evil. “Or everyone you love will die.”
I shook my head, repeating just one word over and over again as if it would make a difference. It wouldn’t because Cato was already gone. He had bled out onto the floor of this examination room, dead blood seeping into every fiber of the place like a parasite and infecting me along with it. Infecting who I was.
“No, I won’t,” my voice was stern, no sign of nervousness or fear in it even though it ran rampant within me. All outside traces of it had been removed from me on this same day, no ounce of it left within my bones. “No.” My gaze penetrated King as I willed him into nonexistence, but failed. And Cato was begging again, his anguished sobs reminding me that the rest of us would die and caused my heart to break all over again.
“Mila, please. You have to. To save us.”
Defiance boiled my blood then, and sorry no longer filled me, rage bubbling up to the surface and, as I looked down at the blade t
hat had fallen to the ground at my side, I knew that I needed to act swiftly or risk losing it all again. With one swift and smooth motion, I snatched it up from the ground, rose to my feet, and lashed out with it, unsure if I had hit my target as a slick sound of metal sliding into flesh echoed in the air. King stood there at first, a leer crossing over his tight lips. A frown came to replace it as blood welled up in a long slash across his throat, spilling down over his chest and soaking into his white button-down, turning it that same crimson hue. But it kept going and he didn’t fall to his knees. No slow to the flow of blood as it ran down toward his shoes, Cato still kneeling on the ground between us. A chill penetrated the air, my breath coming in a white fog from within my body as I took a step away from the sight. Dark, black, dead blood began to flow from Cato’s nose and mouth in tiny rivers. A small amount coated his teeth when he smiled, and he began to speak again.
“You did it,” he laughed, reaching up to cradle his face in his hands as his body was taken over with fits of giggles. “You saved us. You saved us.” He was practically worshipping me as I backed away; blood flowing over the white floor like a dam had been left open.
Then, it was as if an invisible wall had stopped me, and the blood continued to flow toward me, reaching the hem of the white dress that sheathed my body. When I looked up, both Cato and King were still in the same position, both smiling with glee as the blood started to turn my dress red with the blood of those that I had killed up to this point. It rose as it soaked the fabric, panic creeping into my throat in a scream that lodged itself there, refusing to leave me as I opened my mouth to release it.
“You did it,” Cato said once more.
I awoke with a start, my heart hammering against my chest and sweat covering my skin. My hand rose to my chest, attempting to slow down its thunderous cadence. The sheet I had fallen asleep covered in was wrapped around my body like a cocoon, Ryder beside me and sprawled out on the bed, one leg thrown over mine. Perspiration soaked my hair and the sheets below me. Air forced its way out of my lungs in a struggling rush that I couldn’t do anything to slow, the oxygen in the room barely making its way into my chest as I struggled to regain my composure. Ryder shifted beside me, rolling onto his side and sitting up next to me with a face twisted in concern. I had woken him. I cursed under my breath and dropped my hand to the bed.
The Pursuit (The Permutation Archives Book 2) Page 18