When she finished the seam, she looked up, and there he was mounting the front steps. Today August didn’t look like a blacksmith. Anna had never seen him in buckskins before. If she hadn’t known better, she would have thought he was a trapper. If he quit shaving, he would have made a good mountain man with blond whiskers and strong muscles under the leather clothing. She had never been drawn to those untamed men when they came into town. They were often unwashed and smelly. Anna knew that August usually smelled faintly of bay rum shaving lotion. For a moment, she could imagine those strong leather-clad arms holding her—
“Who is that?” Gerda asked from her place by the ironing table. “I can’t see from here.”
Anna was glad that Gerda interrupted her crazy thoughts. “It’s August.” She stood up, placed her fists against her waist, and stretched her back. She had been sitting at the sewing machine too long without moving. “What’s he doing here? He didn’t come for lunch, did he? I thought we were going to eat sandwiches made from yesterday’s leftovers for our noon meal.”
Gerda placed the iron back on the stove and went toward the door. “We are. But it’s too early for lunch. I think he’s going hunting. He said that his contribution to the community Thanksgiving dinner would be a deer, since he doesn’t cook.”
Hunting? August is going hunting? Fear clutched Anna in a tight grip. Her heart ached. Something of what she felt must have shown on her face when Gerda turned toward her.
“Anna, what’s the matter? You’re white as a sheet.”
“Nothing.” Anna reached for the back of the straight chair where she had been sitting. Now she felt dread, but not the uncanny dread she had felt when Olaf left to go on his last hunting trip. Would she always feel this way when someone she knew went hunting? Surely not.
Gerda came and put her arm around Anna. “Have you been working too long? Maybe we should take a break.”
August knocked on the door of the workroom instead of the door to the rest of the house. Gerda quickly went to let him in.
❧
When Gerda opened the door, August looked past her to where Anna leaned on the back of a chair. Sunlight streamed through the window and bathed her in a golden glow that should have gilded her beauty. Instead she looked frail, almost as if something was wrong with her. He wondered what it was. He had always thought of Anna as strong. That was one of the things he loved about her, her strength. But she didn’t look strong today.
“Come in.” Gerda stepped back to make room for him. “We were just going to take a break. Do you have time for a cup of coffee with us before you go?”
August looked from Anna’s pale face to Gerda’s cheerful one. “Sounds good, for sure. The wind has a bite in it today. This trip could be a cold one. Wouldn’t hurt to warm up first.”
Gerda put her arm around his waist as they started toward the kitchen. “So what really brought you over here?”
August glanced back at Anna. He was going to stop Gerda, but Anna had turned to follow them. “Gustaf said I could use his new rifle. It’s more accurate than mine, and I don’t want to stay out in the cold any longer than I have to.”
❧
Anna was glad to hear August’s last statement. It made her feel better, but not much. She followed them into the kitchen.
“Where is Olina?” August looked around the warm room.
“She took Olga to see her grandmother.”
Anna picked up the coffeepot that sat on the back of the cookstove, poured August a mugful, and set it on the table in front of him. Then she poured hot water into a teapot and set tea to steep. Gerda uncovered a pan of cinnamon rolls that were left from breakfast.
“I would have come over sooner if I had known you had cinnamon rolls.” August forked two onto the plate Gerda set in front of him.
“How long will you be gone?” Anna kept her back to the table. She didn’t want anyone to know how important his answer was to her.
When he didn’t answer, she turned around. No wonder. He was chewing the big bite that was missing from one of the rolls in front of him. Always the gentleman, he wouldn’t talk with his mouth full.
“As soon as I see a large deer and kill it, I’ll field dress it and return to town.” He took a swig of the hot coffee.
Anna wondered how he could drink it so fast. She always let her tea cool off a bit before she sipped it.
“There’s a storm brewing, and I don’t want to be out in it too long. Maybe it’ll only snow this time.”
Anna could imagine him huddled in the cold. She didn’t welcome this feeling of sympathy for him. She didn’t want to feel anything for any man. Her life would be much more uncomplicated without men.
August had been gone barely half an hour when feathery flakes started floating past the window. Could it have been only an hour before that sunlight poured through the same window? Where was August now? Where would he camp? Did he have plenty of warm clothes? Could he find enough dry wood for his campfire? Why did he have to go hunting alone? Anna wished the questions wouldn’t dance through her mind, taunting her. She could hardly wait until August came back, hopefully driving his own wagon.
Four
Not a day had gone by since August left that Anna didn’t hope to hear his wagon come to the house. At least the storm had only held snow. Although several inches covered the ground, the air hadn’t warmed up enough to thaw any of it, so there wasn’t much ice. Anna knew that August was a careful hunter. He was skilled at making camp and building a fire—all the things that were needed to be successful. But the longer he was gone, the more her mind filled with pictures of the day Olaf had returned in the bed of the wagon. And August didn’t have anyone with him to bring him home.
Why did she care? It seemed as if Anna asked herself that question a million times. August was just a friend, but he was a good friend. Her best friend’s brother. Anyone would care under those circumstances. Why did her concern feel like much more than that?
Gustaf went out to the farm one morning, leaving Olina and Olga with Anna and Gerda. Olina was having a hard day, and Olga was full of energy. She had been inside for the last week. Gerda bundled Olga up in several layers of clothing and took her outside to play in the snow. Anna decided to stay indoors and work on one of the many dresses clients had ordered. That way she could keep a discreet watch on Olina.
Anna liked the fabric for the new outfit. It was a rich mulberry wool with a soft touch. As Anna smoothed the fabric out across the top of the cutting table, she imagined herself in a suit from the dark purple fabric. A fitted jacket with a short peplum spreading over a full skirt. She would line the jacket with lavender silk. A blouse of the same silk with a froth of ruffles to fill the V neckline. Even with the blouse, the suit would be dark enough for someone who had lost her fiancé to death. Maybe she should leave work early enough today to go by the mercantile and purchase the fabric on her way home. She didn’t want the store to sell out before she got some.
The sound of hoofbeats mingled with the shouts of laughter coming from the yard. Anna glanced out the window. It was just Gustaf returning home. She looked back at the piece of paper containing the customer’s measurements. Then she realized what else she had seen. Gustaf was carrying his rifle. The rifle August had taken hunting with him.
Anna couldn’t have stopped herself from going to the window if she had tried. She wanted to be sure. Gustaf tied the horse to the hitching post and started up the sidewalk to the house, and he carried the rifle. Anna didn’t realize that she was holding her breath until she released it. Why did she feel as if a heavy load had been lifted from her shoulders? She didn’t want to look at the answer to that question.
Anna had made the first slice through the fabric with her scissors when Gerda and Olga tumbled through the door. Gerda set Olga in a corner near the window and gave her a bucket of wooden spools to play with.
“So why did Gustaf come home early?” Anna tried to sound disinterested, but she knew she failed.
Gerda came over to watch. “He wanted to talk to Olina.” She fingered an edge of the fabric. “I like the feel of this wool, don’t you?”
Anna nodded while she continued cutting. “I thought I saw him carrying the rifle August borrowed.” Anna didn’t look up from her work. She didn’t want Gerda to see how relieved she was.
“Yes, August arrived at our house a few minutes before Gustaf left the farm to come home.” Gerda turned and leaned against the end of the table. “He brought two deer. I think Gustaf wants Olina and Olga to go out to the farm with him. They’re probably going to spend the night.”
Anna pulled the blades of the scissors away from the fabric to protect it and looked at Gerda. “Why would they do that?”
“Have you forgotten what tomorrow is?”
Tomorrow? Thursday. “Thanksgiving.” Anna had tried to put it out of her mind. She wasn’t looking forward to all the celebrating.
“It’ll take all afternoon to process the meat.” Gerda started picking up and putting away all the things that were out of place in the room. “One deer will be kept for our family’s meals, and the other will be roasted for the community Thanksgiving dinner. It’ll take all night. Far and August are building the fire in the pit Gustaf dug. The fire’ll have to burn down to coals before they put the deer in it.”
Anna laid the scissors on the table, being careful to close the blades so there wouldn’t be a mishap. “Are you going with them?”
Gerda nodded. “Yes. The whole family will be preparing for the big feast.”
“I can finish this Monday.” Anna started to put on her coat and scarf. “I want to stop at the mercantile on the way home anyway.”
❧
When August arrived at the community center for the Thanksgiving shindig, he immediately started looking for Anna. If she came, it would be the first event she had attended since the funeral. Because she hadn’t started coming to church again, he was afraid she wouldn’t be here either. He decided that if she didn’t come, he would take food to her house for her.
He came early with his mother and sister to help set everything up. Gustaf and his father would bring Olina and Olga when they brought the roasted deer meat right before noon.
While Gerda swept the floor, August helped set up tables across one wall of the large room. Then he placed chairs all around the other three sides. Each time he passed a window, he glanced toward the road that led to the Jenson horse farm. And each time, the road was empty, making his heart grow heavier and heavier.
After they had worked for a couple of hours, the room looked festive. Gerda and Mother had a knack for decorating. All that was missing was the food that would soon cover the tables. The sound of a buggy coming down the road drew August to the window, but it wasn’t the Jenson buggy.
Other vehicles joined the first in rapid succession. People filled the tables with food and the room with merriment as they greeted neighbors and caught up on recent activities. August leaned one shoulder against the back wall and watched everyone. He didn’t feel much like socializing. Besides, no one would probably notice if he wasn’t there. He wasn’t exactly the life of the party. He wasn’t sure anyone would even be aware if he walked out the door and didn’t return.
He decided to try out his theory, but before he reached the door, it burst open. Lowell and Ollie Jenson carried in baskets laden with food. Behind them, Mrs. Jenson was talking to Anna as they entered the warm building. The temperature had risen above freezing and started melting the snow, but there was still a chill in the air.
August sat in one of the chairs by the wall and crossed his ankle over his other knee. He leaned the chair back against the wall and tried to act nonchalant. Of course, if his mother saw him, she would probably come tell him to sit with all four legs of the chair on the floor. She wouldn’t care that he was an adult who’d been living on his own for several years. He decided not to tempt her, so he uncrossed his legs, dropped the chair back down, and leaned his elbows on his knees. With his hands dangling between his long legs, he watched Anna as she sidled up to the table and made sure her brothers had put each dish in the proper place.
Anna had a look like a lost little girl. She glanced around the room and moved toward a back corner. August knew that she hadn’t wanted to come. He got up and followed her.
“I’m glad you’re here, Anna.”
❧
The sound of her name startled Anna. She turned around and looked at the top button of August’s shirt. Where had he come from? She hadn’t noticed him in any of the clusters of men she passed. What was he doing standing so close to her? For some reason, she liked the way he said her name. She’d heard him say it many times before, but somehow it sounded different today.
“I almost didn’t.” Anna lifted her gaze to his face.
Today August wasn’t wearing buckskins, but he looked every bit as virile without them. His denim trousers were new, and his shirt was a blue that brought out the color of his eyes. Anna was close enough to step into his arms. She shifted back to give herself some space and took a deep breath. Mingled with the tantalizing scents of food that permeated the air was the distinctive aroma of bay rum shaving lotion. This was only August, Gerda’s brother. Why was his presence crowding her, even though he stood a couple of feet away?
Anna decided that her emotions were too raw. She had told Mother that she wasn’t ready to be in a crowd, and she must have been right.
When Anna arrived home that evening, she was tired, but it was a good tired. The day had gone better than she hoped. No one asked her about Olaf. People seemed to understand that she didn’t want to talk about what had happened. The women drew her into several conversations. The most prominent subject was the clothing that she and Gerda had been producing in their workroom. Several of the women wore garments with their distinctive touches. Those conversations helped Anna relax. Before the day was over, other women mentioned that they were going to stop by the shop and talk about holiday dresses. It looked as if she and Gerda would have their hands full, at least for the next month. And that was a good thing.
The only uncomfortable times Anna experienced were when she was too close to August. Her long-time friend had grown into a strong, handsome man. Were all the other young single women blind? He should’ve had plenty of feminine attention. That would’ve kept him from seeking her out every chance he got. Or so it seemed to her.
Anna was sure that August only felt sorry for her. He couldn’t have been feeling anything else. But his presence made her uncomfortable. She didn’t need this. Didn’t he realize that there was something wrong with her? That some strange phenomenon kept a man from loving her enough? That fact had been amply demonstrated in the past. Gustaf had seemed ready to ask her to marry him before Olina arrived. But that changed fast enough. And Olaf had loved her in his own way, she supposed. But it was a lukewarm love at best. Her feelings and desires hadn’t meant much to him, had they? If they had, she would be married right now.
Well, she wasn’t going to put herself through that agony again. Her life was full with friends and her work. That’s all she needed. Wasn’t it? She would never marry. That was for sure.
❧
The day after Thanksgiving, August was back at work. The heat from the forge staved off the chill from outside. He was even able to leave the door open without the room getting too cold. He added more fuel to the fire, then turned to look at all the items that needed repairing. They were lined up on one table in the order in which he had received them. A testimony to his hard work. Anna’s brothers would be here any minute with several horses that needed shoeing. He’d get back to the other things after they left.
Every time August turned around, he was reminded of Anna. Beautiful Anna. He couldn’t take his eyes off her yesterday. She wasn’t wearing one of the brighter colors she favored before she lost Olaf, but the warm brown of her suit brought out the rich darkness of her eyes. August liked the way her eyes changed color according to what she wore. Although
she had her hair pulled into a figure-eight bun fastened at her neck, she looked soft and feminine. August was disgusted that he hadn’t taken his chance when he had it. She should be loved, not mourning a loss.
These thoughts brought him full circle to the jealousy he had to fight all the time. If he had been less shy, he would have spoken to her before Gustaf did. Now look at him. He didn’t know if he would ever marry. She was the one woman he could love. But not now.
August picked up an iron bar and held it in the flame of the forge. After it was red hot, he placed it on the anvil and bent it into a horseshoe shape. The pounding didn’t work out his tension as it usually did. He held the bar back in the fire to reheat so he could pound it flat. When that was accomplished, he plunged it into the tub of cold water that sputtered and spit as it cooled the finished product.
It took almost an hour to form as many horseshoes as he thought he would need. When he laid the last one on the bench, Ollie and Lowell rode up to the door. Each one led two horses behind their own mounts.
❧
Gerda was already hard at work when Anna arrived at the workroom on Monday morning. She watched as Anna took off her coat and hung it up.
“So, what are you working on?” Anna moved toward the table. “I think I’ll finish cutting this out.”
“Okay.” Gerda held up the waistband of the skirt she was hemming. “I just now finished this. It’s a good thing. Mrs. Larkin is coming to pick it up this morning.”
Anna picked up her scissors and bent over the fabric for the suit, which was still spread across the table. She slid the scissors back into the place where she had stopped cutting the day before Thanksgiving. Carefully, she followed the outlines she had drawn on the fabric.
His Brother's Castoff Page 4