by Marnie Cate
“I need to go check on her,” I said to Cole.
“No, leave her be, Mar. She will talk to you if she wants to. She has a good head on her shoulders. Trust her,” Cole said.
“I know, I know. I just don't want her to get hurt.”
“I don't think you need to worry about that. I spoke to Dunn today and asked him to step back. She is young. If they are meant to be together, they will be,” Cole said.
“You're practicing being the protective father already?” I asked.
“I had many years waiting for the girl I love to admit that she loved me too,” he said, kissing me.
“You're not being fair. I told you I loved you many times,” I insisted.
“Come on, Mar. You were always pushing me away. Anytime it became too real, you would retreat,” he said, taking my hand.
He was right. I did keep my guard up with him. My magic had been taken and I didn't know why I had such an empty feeling. My father was thought to be dead. My mother disappeared. I was always waiting for the next person to leave me. I had done my best to keep him at a distance even though my heart wanted nothing more than to be with him forever.
“Don't be mad, Mara. Let's enjoy the party you worked so hard to plan,” Cole said, giving me puppy dog eyes. “Come dance with me.”
Relenting, I let Cole lead me to the dance floor. A soft love song was playing. The party went on for many hours with Meg dancing and laughing with the Miezitari. Dunn joined the group but he kept his distance from her, watching her every move. Even though Cole told me he had talked to Dunn, I needed to speak with him myself.
“Dunn, can I talk to you?” I asked.
“Always,” he said.
“Not here,” I said. “Let's find a place away from the crowd.”
Leading him away from any listening ears, I said, “Meg is only fifteen years old. She is not ready to be in a serious relationship… let alone one with an immortal.”
“I know that, Mara. I have spoken to her already,” Dunn said.
“You did?” I watched his eyes to see if he was telling me the truth.
“I did. I told her that now all we can be is friends. When she is older, if her feelings are still as strong, we can talk about being more. Until then, I have pledged to protect her. As I guarded you in Snowstrum, I have now promised my loyalty to Meg.”
“She is so young and you're—”
“Very old? Yes, I am but I have been sheltered. In many ways, I am as young as she is. I was never sent to the tunnels. I was never sent to the Sephorian Desert. I was lucky to grow up in the cottages and then moved to the castle a short time before your arrival. The Goddess paid no attention to me, for which I was grateful,” Dunn said. “I promise you my intentions are pure. Your sister is a remarkable girl and will one day be an extraordinary woman. Until then, I promise there will be only friendship between us.”
“Thank you for understanding,” I said.
“You are very different than your sister… more cautious,” Dunn said. “She told me losing so many people had reminded her that life needed to be lived and that waiting for the perfect moment to happen could be throwing away happiness.”
While I was pushing people away from my sadness and guarding my heart, Meg was embracing the world. All the passion and spirit she had inside her amazed me.
“She is quite wise, isn't she?”
Nodding, he agreed, “She is. But I have promised you and I always keep my promises.”
“If that were to change, I hope that the two of you would come speak with me,” I said.
The boy will lie to you. You are just jealous of the love he has for her. Love like Cole has for me.
“Are you ok, Mara?” Dunn said, softly. “You have gone white.”
The warmth of his hand lifted the chill filling me. “Yes, just a long day. Let's return to the party.”
Chapter 28
“Wake up, Mara,” a rich male voice whispered in my ear.
Groggily, I opened my eyes. Kai was inches from my face. He cupped his hand over my mouth and shook his head. I nodded, understanding he wanted me to remain silent. He uncovered my mouth and crooked his finger, motioning for me to follow him. Cole slept soundly as I left the bed to follow Kai. I smiled down at my sleeping husband.
How much I love you, Cole. I thought.
When we were in the hallway, I asked, “What is going on Kai?”
“Not here,” he whispered, taking my hand.
A warmth filled me as our fingers touched and I shivered in surprise. Kai smiled at me and led me through the hallway. We stepped out into the courtyard; it was still twinkling from the party lights.
“Why are we here?”
Kai pulled me into his arms and pressed his lips against mine.
“No,” I said, pushing him away. “What do you think you're doing?”
“I can't pretend anymore, Mara. You're the only one I think about. Thoughts of you consume me. I know you feel the same way but you're being loyal to the promise you made.”
“You are wrong. I love Cole. I am with him because of this love. I want to be with him and raise our baby together,” I said, rubbing my extended belly.
Resting his hand on top of mine, his eyes flickered with burning embers of gold. “He will only hurt you, again. His healing is an act. Mara, I will care for you and your baby. Come away with me tonight. I can protect her. I know how to keep your daughter safe.”
“Kai, I…” my words were halted by his soft lips touching mine.
The tingling sensation rushed through me again. I found myself unable to deny how I felt and returned his kiss. I can't. I love Cole. I am carrying his child. Kai's arms wrapped around me, pulling me closer to him. He broke away as it became deeper and I sighed in displeasure as his lips left mine. I wanted it to never end. His lips returned for a moment to tease me and began to gently trail down my neck. He will love and care for me. Cole is not safe for my daughter or me. Don't lie to yourself. You have always wanted him. You love Kai. My jumbled mind played at the idea of being his.
“I will go with you,” I rasped.
Our eyes locked and I could see the relief and joy in him. “I will make you so happy, Mara.”
Our lips met again and I let myself accept the love I felt for Kai. The love I had always felt. With him, I would never want for anything and my daughter would be safe. He trailed his warm tongue slowly down my neck.
Isn't our Fire Boy delicious.
His fingers unbuttoned my nightgown, exposing my breasts. His hands were no longer tender but rough and his lips burned on my skin. But this was the cold sting of ice, not the warm pleasure of Fire. I tried to push him away from me but his grip became tighter.
“You weren't foolish enough to think I could keep you safe on my own, were you? This time you will rule Snowstrum with me by your side. We will raise the Winter together under the guidance of the Goddess.”
He released me and cruelly smiled as I covered myself. His eyes were milky white. He wrinkled his nose at me as if I disgusted him. “I promised you I would bring her. She will fix everything she destroyed.”
Holding out his hand, she stepped out from behind a statue of Livia. Snowystra.
Had she been there all this time? She stroked his cheek with her long silver nails. “You have proven yourself worthy to be the Shah.”
“We don't need her,” Kai said, roughly grabbing and kissing her deeply.
She laughed and pushed him away. “You will make powerful children together.”
Snowystra turned her attention to me. I was exposed. She was before me in the same form as the first time I had seen her. Her snow-white skin shimmered as if she had been dusted with frost. She wore the same dress long and flowing with the plunging crystal beaded neckline falling below her belly button.
I tried to escape but Kai grabbed my wrist and forced me into his arms. “She will submit this time. Won't you darling?”
“No!” I screamed, thrashing against Kai. “She is d
ead. This is not real.”
Laughing, he held me tighter. I screamed.
“Stop, Mara!” Kai demanded, squeezing me tighter. “Mara, stop.”
I beat my fists against him, struggling against his hold.
“Mara. Mara. Stop, Mara.” His lips were moving but it was Cole's voice.
“Stop, Mar.”
Blinking, everything around me changed. Kai was gone. Snowystra was gone. I found the arms tightly wrapped around me were Cole's not Kai.
“Is this what you have been dealing with because of me? Have I done this to you?”
Releasing his hold on me, he held my face in his hands. “Mara, you need to be honest. No more secrets. Tell me what is really going on.”
“I think Snowystra is back.”
“She can't be.” Cole's eyes blazed with anger. “She is gone. Why are you saying this?”
“I hear her everywhere. She comes to my dreams. I think she puts Kai in them, too,” I confessed.
“Why would she bring Kai into your dreams, Mara?”
“She wants to hurt us. She wants me to be confused. Why would I want to leave you for anyone? Cole, you are sweet and loving.”
Predictable and boring
“You were my strength all of my life.”
Until you showed how weak you are.
“I want to spend my forever with you, Cole.”
Boring. Familiar. Safe. Not the passionate life Kai would offer.
“Tell me what you dreamed, Mar”
As I described it, Cole's face paled He sat down, dropping his head into his hands. I had hurt him. I didn't have to tell him about Kai. I could have lied, protected him. He was sweet and safe but I always wanted the security he represents. Oh Goddess, was I like my mother? Did I only want what I can't have? No! It was Snowystra messing with my mind. Her magic running through me. She was forcing me to destroy everything and everyone I loved. Now Cole would never trust me.
The silence was killing me. I sat down beside him, touching him gently.
“Are you afraid to be with me?” Cole's amber eyes glistened.
“Oh no, Cole. It was all a bad dream. I don't want to be with Kai! She is planting feelings I don't have. I love you, Cole and only you.”
“How long has this been happening?” Cole said.
I didn't want to tell him. I didn't want him to feel any more pain.
“It's ok, Mar. Tell me the truth.”
“Since you left,” I blurted out. “Either she has returned or I am losing my mind. You must believe me. I want to be with you and only you.”
Cole's shoulders slumped and he sighed deeply. “I trust you. She is gone, Mar. This is not your fault. Livia was right. The stress of everything… everything I caused is too much for anyone to bear.”
“We are being ridiculous. She is gone. I am not in love with Kai. Cole, no more blaming yourself. This is finished tonight. We are going to see Liv,” I said, sharply.
Chapter 29
Livia decided I was hallucinating. She insisted rest would prove to be the best cure. She had been right. The next few days were uneventful and sleep did seem to help. The voice of Snowystra was gone. I didn't know if it had been her words or mine running through my head but I was grateful for their retreat.
One morning after Livia had agreed I was well enough to leave my bed, Cole and I had settled in Faramond's den. We had snuggled by a fire when Meg came bursting in the room.
“Anna had a baby girl,” Meg exclaimed. She was red-faced and breathless. “Masha is so excited to have a baby sister now. I can't wait until Zee is born.”
“Zee? We have given her a nickname already?” I smiled.
“Well, it was just one of the ideas I have been playing with. I am just so excited to see her. There are so many things to show her in this world. I can't wait,” Meg said, rapidly firing all of her thoughts at me.
“I am ready to meet my daughter too,” I said, rubbing my belly. “It would be nice to see who has been beating me up.”
“Oh, I almost forgot,” Meg said, handing me a silver scroll. In a hushed voice, she said, “This is from Livia.” She plopped on the couch and wiggled between us. “Go on then.”
Meg took the scroll, unrolling it. She held it out:
Kinema Delli
Mother of Tannus and Faramond
Holds the answer you seek
Send her your prayers
As she read the words aloud, they disappeared from the scroll. I could feel the heat emitting from it. Grabbing it from her, the metal burned my fingertips.
Dropping it, I cried out, “It's gone and I don't know what it means.”
“Kinema?” Cole said.
“Did Livia say anything else?” I asked.
Shaking her head, she frowned. “She just asked me to deliver it. Was there anything on it that might help? I can go ask Livia to write the message again.”
“No, Meg. Let's not disturb her. She has been told to not interfere. She has done enough for us,” I said.
“But, we don't know anything,” Meg said.
“We do. We know we need to find Faramond's mother. I have no idea where she is or how she can help. But, we need to find out,” I said.
“Let's go to Faramond's library. We have had luck finding what we need in libraries in the past. Cole said.
Libraries were magic for my family. The first meeting of the elementals and my great-grandmother was in a library. When Meg had been kidnapped, we were able to find the building plans of the Drygen Mansion with help from the same elementals.
The library was in the back of the lodge near Faramond's bedroom. The hallway leading us there had more of Livia's tapestries. These told the story of the building and destruction of Eftir Forest. I wondered if she would add more to show their return.
We found the library door open. The room, lined with thousands of leather bound books reaching up to the vaulted ceiling, was overwhelming. Looking around, I felt exhausted already. There was too much to go through.
“Where do we even start?” I asked. “We should just go and ask him.”
“You know the Gods only speak in riddles. Stay here,” Cole said, pointing to a chair. “I have an idea.”
Sitting down at a round table, I watched as Cole began walking through the stacks. Trailing his fingers along the spines, he would occasionally stop and pick up a book, leaf through his find and then deliver it to me. Most of the books he brought had the names of gods and goddesses and their powers. There were so many different deities listed I had never heard of. Vesiatura, Goddess of Water. Besk, Messenger of the Afterlife. Sabedora, Goddess of Wisdom.
Cole returned carrying a large burgundy book covered in odd etched symbols. He set it down on the table. A warmth emitted from the book, drawing me to it.
“What is this?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.
“It feels like the one,” Cole said, sliding it closer to me. “See if you can open it.”
Resting my hands on it, it began to hum. Quickly, I pulled away. “No, you do it.”
Cole carefully opened the cover and the pages began turning rapidly before slamming shut. When I tried it, it reacted the same way.
“You need to tell it what you want to see.”
Faramond's voice surprised me. “How long have you been standing there?”
“A few minutes. You need to tell the book what you seek.” Faramond slid the book towards him. “Faramond.”
The book opened to an embossed picture of the golden God. Words began to fill the page. It told the story of Faramond and Tannus birth and a proclamation by Kinema Delli. Her sons had been born to guide the dead to the next world and their sister, Sarika, would be their logic. It told of mortals blessed by Sarika and how the brothers had stumbled into their world. The book described the brothers' tight bond and their falling out. The story stopped at Faramond's death in Eftir Forest. There was no mention of his time in Snowstrum as Mortorcus.
The pages began madly flipping, landing o
n the word Uusfarah. Under the name, there was a picture of Mortorcus. The image hovered over the pages, transforming into a butterfly before changing to the God I knew now. The words told the story of his rebirth by fire and the rebuilding of his kingdom.
“Is there something specific you are looking for?” Faramond said.
I closed the book. “Kinema Delli”
Instead of showing me, the book went flying off the table. Faramond watched silently as Cole picked it up.
“Show me, Tannus,” he said. The pages came to life again, showing us Tannus' story.
“Why would we not be able to see Kinema Delli? Are we saying her name wrong?” I questioned.
“No, I don't think that would be the problem.” Cole said, opening the book and saying, “Delli Kinema.” The book shook but stayed on the table.
Cole rested his hand on the top of the cover and closed his eyes. Suddenly, he shouted. “Wait! I got it. The scroll said send her your prayers.”
Turning on Faramond, I said, “Why did you just not tell us this?”
“I cannot interfere but I can tell you the clearing in the forest is a nice place to pray,” he said.
Chapter 30
By the time we left the library, the sun had begun to set. The night creatures were awakening and their noises echoed in the air. Cole led me through the forest until we came to a clearing in the middle of the pine trees.
“Call the elements, Mar,” Cole said.
Nodding my head, I held my arms out. “Air, I beseech you to join me.”
The wind began to blow hard. Instead of the silver tendrils I had become accustomed too, small winged creatures began encircling me. One floated in front of me and I could see its cat like face on a tiny human body. It closed its eyes in a slow blink and instinctually I did the same. Delighted, the creature started spinning around me. Soon the others were following it.
“Fire, your presence would be a blessing.”
The circle grew warmer and winged lizards filled the air. Their forked tongues poked out of their mouths. As Cole imitated them, their wings turned fiery red and they surrounded him.