by Marnie Cate
The spider rubbed against me and I gave it one final pat. As we journeyed, I talked about Mara. Cole laughed as I reminded him of stories of the card games, ice cream and family time we shared.
“We are almost out of snow to melt,” Cole said, stopping.
We had reached the forest edge. On the other side, there was just the lush forest. Hesitantly, I looked around. It looked safe enough but I had trusted to quickly already in this realm.
“What are you waiting for,” Cole asked.
A chime sounded and I could see Ledli zipping around the trees.
“We need to go that way.”
The spider stopped, refusing to follow us.
“It's ok,” I said.
It reared back towards the snow.
“Oh right, you are part of the Winter. I hope we will meet again,” I said, stroking its fur.
Cole hugged the dorcha tightly. “Goodbye, Spidey”
The dorcha skittered off into the snow and we entered the forest. The smell of lavender overwhelmed me. When we found a mossy area, a woman stepped out from behind a tree. It was Mara, again.
Chapter 45
“Meg, Cole!” she exclaimed.
“They said you would come if I just waited here,” Mara said, hugging me tightly. Kissing my cheek over and over. “You don't know how good it is to see you. There is so much for me to tell you? Why are you not home yet?”
Sitting down on the mossy area, she patted it and said, “Sit. Come sit.”
I stared into her hazel eyes searching for signs of my sister. Her pregnant belly had returned and her hair was wild and unruly. I couldn't see anything to tell me she wasn't my sister but it was too convenient for her to show up here.
“Aren't you going to sit?”
Then, she raised her eyebrows and smirked at me. She called it her signature eyebrow lift.
“Even in this world, your hair is a mess.”
“Well, you haven't been there to help me fix it,” she said with a sheepish grin.
I knelt by her and ran my fingers through her hair. Twisting it and braiding it, I inhaled her vanilla scent.
“So what is keeping you from coming home, Meg?” she asked.
“Um…” I said struggling to find the right words. “I have been given a choice, Mara. I must make a decision. A pretty big one.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked.
“No, I know what I want. I know what the best choice for everyone is… especially me. Mara, you won't believe it. I met Gramp.”
“Our Gramp? Chester?” Mara said, wide-eyed.
“Yeah, he is so great. He made me a sandwich,” I said.
“That's impressive because he is a horrible cook. He tried to make me a grilled cheese one time and was banished from Gram's kitchen for a week.”
“He was not,” I laughed.
“No, she didn't banish him but she was mad that he ruined one of her best pans. Gram could never be angry with him for long. Why did he appear?” she asked.
“He said I needed to make choices for me. I had to live for me not for everyone else,” I said, averting my eyes.
Mara took my hand down from her hair and squeezed it. “He was right, Meg.”
“But you guys need me.”
“We need you. We will always need you. That will never be the question. But….”
“I need to live for myself?”
“Exactly,” she said. “Now that you have made your decision, come back to us, Meg.” Mara yawned. “Why is Cole hiding? Wait. Why is Cole here?”
Yawning again, she laid down in the moss. “I am so tired all of a sudden. Are you coming home, Meg? Come with me. Come lay down and close your eyes and you will be home before you know it.”
“I can't come home right now. I must finish what has started. I have a decision to make. Please know that the decision I am making is not just for you. It is for me.”
“Tell me you're coming back home soon, Meg,” she murmured.
“You have to come home. I have babies who need you,” she said, unable to keep her eyes open. “They need their Aunt.”
Before I could ask her any questions, she was sleeping and her body began to fade like wisps of smoke.
Cole poked his head out from behind the tree. “Is she gone?”
“Yeah, why did you hide from her?” I asked.
“I didn't hide. I just didn't want to upset her.”
“See, I told you that you would know the real Mara.”
“I… I did. You're right, Meg. I need to go home. I need them as much as they need me,” he said.
I took his hand. “Let's find out how to get you home.”
“I know how to go back,” he said, pointing. “Can you see that?”
“It is beautiful,” I said as I stared at the lavender field ahead of us.
Cole let go of my hand and began to run. Stopping in the purple bushes, he turned and waved. And, the world around me went black.
Chapter 46
“If you're still confident in your decision, come to me,” Kinema called.
Behind me the tree of Danu glowed. Placing my hand on the bark, it slipped through. I closed my eyes and stepped into the tree. As I walked through the complete darkness, I felt a tingling sensation throughout my body. The sound of my heartbeat filled my ears and the bu dum, bu dum around me led me on. I found the silence comforting, even though I was uncertain where I was being led.
“Breathe,” Gram whispered. I inhaled the woodsy fragrance of the tree.
The black void ended and I found myself in a large room filled with silver framed mirrors, much like the one in my grandmother's bedroom. The room smelled of lavender, cinnamon, fresh cut grass and summer rainstorms. The scents alternating without overpowering or bleeding into one.
In the center of the room, there were four high-backed silver chairs, each with a different design representing the elements running up the back. In the middle of the circle of chairs sat a large granite stone with a smooth top.
Daisy was there. She sat in her Earth chair with a somber look on her face.
The room grew warm as a lavender light surrounded me.
“Hello, Meg.” I turned to see Danu sitting crossed legged on the granite stone. She was petting the small brown cat she held. I felt drawn to her. She had given my family this amazing gift and yet I knew nothing about her. But, I felt something strong from her. Love? I couldn't put a name to it but it was strong and unspoken. It was like the connection I had with Gram and Mara.
“Why have you come here, Meg?” Yes, I was feeling the safe comfort of a motherly love.
“I'm scared. How do I know I am doing the right thing, Goddess?” I blurted out.
“Enter the mirror and confront your fears,” Danu said. “The choice is yours to make and yours alone.”
The silver around one the mirrors glowed. Daisy stood and offered her hand to me. In silence, she led me to the mirror. When I saw my reflection, I gasped. I was in a silver dress, much like the one I had once seen Danu wear and my hair had been piled on my head in intricate curls. I couldn't remember when the change took place, or how I didn't notice it. And I couldn't stop staring. I looked grown… I looked like her. I looked like a Goddess.
Hugging me, Daisy whispered, “I will always be here for you. No matter what you choose. Now go on, Step through the mirror.” She released me.
Chapter 47
The mirror led me to an empty stone room and vanished before my eyes. Spinning around the room, I hoped to see an exit but found Dunn instead, sitting against a wall sleeping. Softly touching his cheek, I smiled as he woke, expecting his warm smile. Instead, his eyes held anger and fear, not love.
“No matter what you do to me, I will not follow you. I will not pledge my life to you,” he growled. “Send me to the desert if that is your plan but do it now. I will never be a slave to the Winter again. You should have died.”
“No, Dunn,” I cried. “It won't be like that. I will be nothing like
Snowystra. Why are you saying such cruel things to me? The Winter will be a time for healing and celebration. A time for the new life to be born.”
“You say that you're not her? Can you not even see what you have become?” he screamed at me.
He roughly took me by my shoulders and led me to a wall. Another mirror appeared. “Tell me that you have not accepted the darkness. You can't lie to me, Meg.”
The reflection in the mirror was not me. It was Eliza… it was my mother. She was not the lovely woman she had been. She was the tainted mother who left me. Her auburn hair was streaked with white, her cold black eyes glared at me.
“You've always been a Drygen,” she sneered. “Do not hide behind the fear and the cowardice instilled in you by my mother. Accept your destiny.”
She disappeared and the image staring back at me from the mirror was a person I did not recognize. The girl had black hair and dark eyes. It was me but I looked like Mara had after her return from Snowstrum, sickly and my mouth was covered in something green.
“This isn't me,” I said.
I turned around to convince Dunn that he was wrong but he was gone. Lying in the center of the floor, there was a dead dorcha. I wanted to help the spider but was stopped by what I was holding. In my hands was its heart. The same spider that I had befriended.
“No,” I cried, throwing the heart down. “I don't want to be like her. It will be different.”
The mirror began to vibrate and an image of my grandparents appeared.
“She is not coming, Maesi,” Gramp said, wrapping his arms around her.
Gram began to weep. “We lost another child to the Winter, Chester.”
“No, Gram!” I cried. “I am not lost. Please believe in me. I promise you that you will never lose me.”
Falling to my knees, I began to cry. Seeing my grandmother in so much pain was unbearable. The mirror rippled and the sounds of Gram faded. The mirror held an image of Mara holding a baby in her arms.
She rocked the child. “I am sorry, my sweet baby boy, that I couldn't save her. I am sorry that you will never meet your aunt.”
Cole appeared. He was also holding a child. “She will never meet her Neeps.”
“It's my fault,” Miles said stepping out of the shadows. “I am the reason for your pain. I must go back with my father. I am a Drygen.”
“No, Miles!” I screamed at the mirror. “You're not a Drygen. You're a Silver. Don't believe that. You are my brother. It is not your fault.”
“Your right,” Mara said. “You should be with your family. We understand why you have made this decision.”
“You will always be welcome in our home,” Cole said, shaking Miles' hand.
“Thank you for understanding. Will you tell Elliott and Essie for me?” Miles asked.
“Of course.”
“What is wrong with you all? No, he can't go. Why is no one stopping him?”
Miles walked away and I pounded my fists on the mirror, trying to get his attention. My efforts were useless. Sitting down in the middle of the room, the mirror vanished. The room became ice cold and I could see my breath. I looked to the ceiling and saw snow had begun to fall.
“If I choose the Winter, I will be alone,” I cried.
The light in the room faded and I was in the dark, truly alone with only my own heartbeat and my own thoughts. Everything I had seen replayed in my mind. Everything I feared most. Lying down, I stared into the void. My mind felt like a maze of twists and turns leading me to dead ends and no answer to my questions.
A tiny dot appeared in the absolute darkness. It was so small I shouldn't have been able to see it. It shouldn't have reassured me but it did. Sitting up, I placed my hands on the cold stone and called for Earth's strength.
Bu dum Bu dum Bu dum
I could hear a strong heartbeat and I knew I was in the center Danu's tree. My own heartbeat fell in time with the tree's until finally I exited it. My eyes adjusted to the light change and I found myself in the center of a grove of large pink trees.
“I told you that you were not ready to make the decision. You are not ready to become the Winter. Return to your body,” Kinema said, stepping out from within one of the trees.
“But—”
“No, child. It was wrong of me to give you such a choice. Your fears are too strong. You are too young for such responsibility. How can I turn over the Winter to you?” Kinema's eyes filled with so much pity for me.
“You are wrong. I understand the Winter now,” I said.
“But, what about your family? You won't be able to help them.”
“I won't be able to in the Afterlife either,” I said.
“They will grieve your death but they will not feel abandoned,” she said.
“They will be grieving either way. If I don't take the Winter, they will take my niece from her parents.”
“Possibly, but is that enough to give up your life?” she asked. Her nonchalant tone infuriated me.
Wiping my tears away with the back of my hand, I took a deep breath. “I have made my decision and I insist you hear me. I am not a child.
“Fine, Meg. Speak. I will accept your decision but remember there is no turning back.” Kinema offered me her hand.
Part Three: Mara
Chapter 48
I woke up from my sleep in a cold sweat. My dreams were blurred images I could not make sense of. Sitting up, I groaned. My body ached and my stomach was sore. I touched my belly. It felt different. The hard roundness was now deflated, jiggly. An image of Laura holding a baby boy up for me and other memories slowly returned. Cole and I had twins. We named them Mazie and Finnegan after my grandparents. My daughter was the Winter.
“Cole,” I cried.
“What's wrong, Mara? Do you need some pain medication?” Laura asked.
“Where are my babies? Who is watching them?”
“They are here, Mara.” Laura pointed to a basinet at the end of the bed. “The babies are sound asleep. You fainted about an hour ago. Why don't you lie back down until they wake?”
I have a decision to make, Mara, Meg's words filled my mind.
“Where is Meg?”
“Cole is with her. There has been an accident, Mara. Meg was hurt.”
I looked at my sleeping children and I felt torn. My sister needed me but I couldn't leave them alone, unprotected.
“They are in the first birthing room. I can send someone to get you when the babies wake. I will not leave their side,” Laura said, squeezing my hand.
“You're right. I need to go to her.” I hesitated as I looked down on my babies sleeping. Their hands clutched together.
“Go to Meg, Mara.”
My heart was racing so fast I felt like it would jump out of my chest as I went to find Meg. Why had I fallen asleep? Why did I not stay and make her tell me the choice she had to make?
When I reached her room, I found Cole weeping over Meg. She was turned onto her side and I could see her back was covered with a heavy blood soaked gauze. My panic turned to anger. My sister was hurting and no one told me.
“What happened? Why didn't you come get me immediately?” I cried. “We could have called the elements to heal her.”
Kneeling down, I touched Meg's face. She was ice cold.
“You were having a baby, Mara. Then, you passed out. I'm sorry I left you but I had an overwhelming feeling that she needed me. She was so frightened. It was like she was calling me.”
I sat down beside him. “Is she better now?”
“She is not as scared but I can't break away from her. You must think I am crazy but I had to be with her. It was like she was calling for me,” he said. “It was wonderful. She squeezed my hand and suddenly I felt my water magic surge through me. The feeling of emptiness that I had been carrying filled and I had the most incredible dream. I was with Meg and I was just a boy. And Meg was wearing the most ridiculous outfit.”
It hadn't been a dream. I had been with Meg.
“She was
wearing a plant dress,” I said.
Cole's eyes widened in surprise.
“I saw you both there. I was brought to Danu's realm. I think it was to see Meg. Now tell me what happened to my sister.”
Cole guided me to a chair and knelt down in front of me.
“Dunn found Meg in the forest. Cedric and Jameson had tried to take Miles and Meg tried to stop them. Jameson snuck up on her and stabbed her with one of Snowystra's daggers. She had internal organ injuries from the weapon and the dark magic on it.”
I choked back a sob. “Go on,” I whispered.
“By the time Dunn arrived, Cedric was bound by Meg's Earth magic and Jameson was dead.” Cole said.
“What about Miles? Is he ok? My father?”
“When Miles tried to stop Jameson's attack, he cast his Air magic. The force of the wind sent Jameson crashing into a tree, killing him instantly. When your father arrived, he went crazy, beating Cedric until Faramond intervened. Elliott and Miles are now resting under Essie's supervision.”
“I don't know what to do to help any of them,” I cried.
“Mar, I know it is a lot to digest. You know what you can do? Go to our babies. They need you and I will stay with Meg.”
* * *
When I returned to our room, Laura was rocking and patting Mazie. “You're just in time. This little one is ready for you.”
Laura was so comfortable with my daughter and Mazie was so content in her arms. I wasn't confident she would be the same in mine.
“Where is Finn?” I asked. I felt surprised by my sudden worry about where he was and if he was safe. It was ridiculous since Laura had been caring for babies for years.
She nodded to the bassinet. “He is sleeping. Why don't you start with Mazie and then I will bring you the boy?”
“She won't feed without him,” I said. It would be so much easier if she would let me feed her alone but I had the feeling she didn't quite trust me. Did she know about the darkness inside me?
“See you're already getting used to having twins. Have a seat over there.” She pointed to a cushioned rocking chair. “And we need to get you something to eat and drink.”